Question for the men: How do you want to be treated by a woman?

[Sykes]

Okay, this is a question for the men here on Beyond. It's in response to this post

In a nutshell, I think it's safe to say that we all think that women generally "know" how they want us men to treat them, but what about the other way around? I'm particularly interested in the responses from guys who are either married or are in serious long-term relationships (but the bachelors - and women! - are more than welcome to chime in as well):


How do we, as men, *HONESTLY* want to be treated by women?

What are our expectations?


Personally, I know I want to feel respected by my wife (she writes/runs the blog linked to) and I want to know that I am her "hero" (so to speak). There's more I could say, but I'll save it for the discussions that are hopefully going to follow.

Now I know the potential for the gong show of lame and inappropriate responses, so I do ask that the responses be kept within a serious and mature nature. Thanks!

EDIT: Rephrased the question a little to be more specific.. haha.

[bubbley]

like a dirty whore

[blackteg2]

an obediant dirty whore.

[Tik-Tok]

Like I am an ancient Greek God, and to be worshiped as such.

I honestly don't know how to answer this question any other way.

[gen2teggy]

i want him to respect me in bed.

[Sykes]

Haha... I suppose those responses are to be expected.

Fair enough, I'll play:

Even if you wanted a girl to treat you like a "dirty whore", is that all you want expect for a woman - just a piece of flesh for you to bang all day for the rest of your lives and nothing else (assuming that you'll eventually want to settle down with that one woman someday)?

How do you guys honestly want to be treated? You're bound to come across that one girl that will make you think twice (or three times) before notching her as an accomplishment?

[bubbley]

Originally posted by gen2teggy
i want him to respect me in bed.

I thought u were a dude??

[bubbley]

Originally posted by Sykes
Haha... I suppose those responses are to be expected.

Fair enough, I'll play:

Even if you wanted a girl to treat you like a "dirty whore", is that all you want expect for a woman - just a piece of flesh for you to bang all day for the rest of your lives and nothing else (assuming that you'll eventually want to settle down with that one woman someday)?

How do you guys honestly want to be treated? You're bound to come across that one girl that will make you think twice (or three times) before notching her as an accomplishment?

Bang all day with cooking, cleaning and double income

[Sykes]

Originally posted by Tik-Tok
I honestly don't know how to answer this question any other way.

And this is my point, none of my guy friends really know how to answer this question. It's like as if self-introspection is an completely foreign concept to us.

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by Sykes


How do you guys honestly want to be treated?

See my above answer.

Now this isn't how I EXPECT to be treated... just how I want to be.

Love and respect, is all I expect, the list of ways to love and respect are far too numerous to list, really, it's kind of a vague question.

[msommers]

Are you referring to how to be treated on a date like the link you mentioned or what you're wanting in a wife, since you mentioned married/long-term?

But honestly, asking a car forum full of guys to talk about their feelings is likely going to end up in Ask Leo.

[sputnik]

That's because it is impossible to put into words easily.

- My wife and I are best friends. We love each other unconditionally. We respect each other. We have no secrets between each other.

- We place each other before anyone else we know...even our parents and extended family. You wouldn't believe how many spouses still have their parents come first. As far as we are concerned they come second the moment you get married to someone.

- When conflict or disagreements arise we deal with it immediately, respectful of each others feelings and privately (not bringing in third party family and friends).

- We defend each other. We help each other when the other is in need.

- We share in all tasks be it in terms of income, cleaning, cooking, yardwork (and parenting soon). There is nothing that is "woman's work" or "men's work" in our house. Everything needs to get done. If you see something that needs to get done, just do it.

- We are a team when it comes to finances. Each of us knows how much money is in the bank and what our bills are every month. No one needs to "ask" for money nor do either of us spend money just because the other spouse bought something for themselves.

That's off the top of my head. I am sure others can add to the list.

[msommers]

Thanks pretty amazing Sputnik. It's pretty depressing but marriages like that now are few and far between.

[Sykes]

Originally posted by sputnik
That's because it is impossible to put into words easily.

- My wife and I are best friends. We love each other unconditionally. We respect each other. We have no secrets between each other.

- We place each other before anyone else we know...even our parents and extended family. You wouldn't believe how many spouses still have their parents come first. As far as we are concerned they come second the moment you get married to someone.

- When conflict or disagreements arise we deal with it immediately, respectful of each others feelings and privately (not bringing in third party family and friends).

- We defend each other. We help each other when the other is in need.

- We share in all tasks be it in terms of income, cleaning, cooking, yardwork (and parenting soon). There is nothing that is "woman's work" or "men's work" in our house. Everything needs to get done. If you see something that needs to get done, just do it.

- We are a team when it comes to finances. Each of us knows how much money is in the bank and what our bills are every month. No one needs to "ask" for money nor do either of us spend money just because the other spouse bought something for themselves.

That's off the top of my head. I am sure others can add to the list.

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you posted and this is something I also model within my own marriage, especially in regards to the parent issue. It's been a constant battle with my parents to get them to understand that my wife comes first (something that she finds strange as I'm Chinese/Vietnamese and she's German/English).

[Sykes]

Originally posted by msommers
Are you referring to how to be treated on a date like the link you mentioned or what you're wanting in a wife, since you mentioned married/long-term?

I think they are both one and the same: the former leads to the latter, and you still continue the former after you're married, no?

[CUG]

I guess I'd like to feel like we're on the same team. Loyalty, even if it's bad. (IE, if it's not going well, or there's issues, to bring them up) <- In a relationship

Otherwise, don't be a stupid fucking cunt.

[Tomaz]

I want the love and respect for my girl to be returned back 100%.

[broken_legs]

I want her to offer to pay for dinner once in a while.

[A790]

Expectations vary among people. For me, it's all about one thing: mutual respect.

When you respect someone enough you don't worry if they're off having drinks with their friends, buying new clothes, or talking to their ex's. You don't worry because you know that they respect you enough that they wouldn't do something to hurt you or jepordize the relationship.

That kind of compatibility is rare. To know that there's no topic you can't discuss, and that there's simply no need to have to worry if what you're saying is going to upset the other person, is something that I search for in someone.

[pf0sh0]

I'm just a boy asking a girl to love me.