How to be happy

[Phil_McGraw]

I know this is not exactly the most logical forum to post this question but it is not necessarily targeted to a specific crowd, but anyone and everyone. I am confused. I am 19 years old, live at home, not religious, and am a student. Currently while my best friends are out at a party with my ex of 3 years, I am soaking in my bathtub wondering about life. What am I doing right now? How is my life important or significant in anyway relative to anything? What should I be like in the future? Having a job, a family, a safe house, income, how in hell can I even pity myself, or feel depressed about my current situations, when people around the world live in poverty and deadly environments where they watch their families get blown to bloody dust. Am I a terrible person to feel pain for such minuscule, remotely tragic occurrences? Having no answer to the meaning of life leads me to believe that life has no purpose, but then why are we here? At the moment I don't know what I should do with my life but I do know one thing, that I want to be happy. Happiness is something that makes life worth living in my opinion. Which brings me to my question, what brings you people happiness? In a world filled with social values based on materialism and popularity, how do you discover the things in life that bring you true happiness?

Hopefully it came out clear enough. I am looking for answers from people who have more experience than I (older) in this world.
Thanks,

[97'Scort]

Well, playing with electronic devices in the bathtub, as you're doing right now apparently, is a good way to find out if there really is a God.

My solution: I have a solid career footing, a couple of great friends and a family who loves me and I can talk to openly about anything I want. I have some money in the bank and a reasonably nice car. Every once in awhile I have a cigar and realize that compared to 99% of the people on this planet, I have it pretty good and it makes me feel better.

[Jlude]

Originally posted by 97'Scort
Every once in awhile I have a cigar and realize that compared to 99% of the people on this planet, I have it pretty good and it makes me feel better.

+1

You have to learn to appreciate and be thankful for what you do have.

[FiveFreshFish]

Sounds like you're not quite over the breakup with your gf. Give it time and maybe one day you'll have no problem seeing her at a party sometime down the road.

[max_boost]

Ironic given your user name, does Dr. Phil have any books on how to be happy?

Seriously though, actually I don't know if you are serious or not BUT you'll find yourself asking all of the above many times in your life.

Easiest way to do it is just simply enjoy life for what it is. Don't over think things man.

[max_boost]

Originally posted by FiveFreshFish
Sounds like you're not quite over the breakup with your gf. Give it time and maybe one day you'll have no problem seeing her at a party sometime down the road.

Plenty of fish in the sea. Don't let one person bring your world down.

[sxtothe240]

Sometimes you just gotta slow things down and relax.

Grab a beer, watch a movie.

Or if you play golf, i find going to the driving range and hitting a couple buckets of balls feels great especially by yourself. It's got a weird calming effect.

[ABteg00]

Yes, Phil_McGraw you have been hurt, I feel your pain!, who hurt you? who hurt you? who hurt you, who hurt you!

[S13_Ryan]

exactly what all the above posts have mentioned. chances are your just over looking alot of the things you currently already have in your life and your just not as greatfull as you should be. girls are girls man, dont waste your time broken over just one, there is plenty to be had in a lifetime.

once n a while take a break from everything and just sit and chill with a close friend or family member and reflect on life over a couple beers. it works as a great reminder.

[95golf]

stop thinking boy! u're not the first one to have these thoughts. and the answer is: don't care about others! it has always been like this: people r fcked all around the world simply cause they're stupid or they're unlucky! fck them.it has always been like this and it will always be. be grateful tht u're not in their shoes and u're having a nice hot bath..and live ur life....wht is fun? well tht's up to u...stop thinking too much and see wht makes u laugh, or who makes u laugh and hold onto it....hey or loose ur self in the fck!maybe that will help

[buh_buh]

The purpose of life is to enjoy it.

The more you concern yourself about what you should have in the future, at what age you should have a family, how much you should make, the more you'll be unhappy. The more satisfied with your current situation you're with, the more happy you are, and you don't need to have your shit completely together and live in your idealized dream life in order to be satisfied with your current situation.

As long as you're working towards life goals (which could be what you should have, family, etc) instead of stopping to sulk in your own puddle of misery, you'll be perfectly happy with your current situation.

You just need to take the joys out of your everyday life. If there's something unhappy or unsatisfying about your life, then do something about it. Its the process of getting to the end result that makes you happy, and not the end result itself. You'll get more intrinsic value out of life if you try not to let the petty things bother you.

[Kona9]

Originally posted by 95golf
stop thinking boy! u're not the first one to have these thoughts. and the answer is: don't care about others! it has always been like this: people r fcked all around the world simply cause they're stupid or they're unlucky! fck them.it has always been like this and it will always be. be grateful tht u're not in their shoes and u're having a nice hot bath..and live ur life....wht is fun? well tht's up to u...stop thinking too much and see wht makes u laugh, or who makes u laugh and hold onto it....hey or loose ur self in the fck!maybe that will help

Kids and being stuck in texting mode.

OP: I feel ya, but there is some good advice in here. Focus on what you do have and the things that already make you happy. Don't be affraid to dream either. Take your unsure thoughts about life and use positive thinking to figure out the things you do want. (achieve or acquire....it's your life) Women come and women go. It is tough at a young age to learn how to deal with situations such as the one with you and your ex. You will experience more and more of this as time goes on. Trust me. It's how you handle it from this point forward that makes then next down time easier to cope with. You have to go through these things in order to gain the life experience you truly need for common happiness. Everything happens for a reason.

As mentioned....get out of your own head. Stop thinking so much. I tend to over think things sometimes myself. That is when I remind myself that " It is what it is" and I remind myself of the many many (especially little) things I either have or have going for me. That should be enough to settle any thoughts of depression or wack girl thoughts.

Chin up! Live in the now, for today. The proverbial bus may run you down tomorrow. Then what? You would have wasted your time being hung up on a girl and pondering when adult shit is supposed to happen. It will happen when it's time. You are young man. Live your life!

[CUG]

my take:

I think that too often we allow our worlds to shrink in around us and the few people who may be around us; girlfriend, family, and friends. Traveling taught me how insignificant my problems are compared to others, and being a human taught me that problems are still problems, just relative.

I wouldn't downplay the pain you're having over a breakup just because there's people starving in Africa, no, but definitely reflect on that if you're thinking of ending it or whatever.

I've re-tooled friendships in the past because of these and other things. In the end, I want to be happy and secure. Happiness to me is having good caring people around you and being a good caring person to others - even strangers.

I've been thinking on this lately and I'm glad you posted it.

I'm a few years older than you and I can assure you that these type of ponderings don't leave you.

Just have fun hanging with your beyondbros tonight. Don't worry about that insignificant person that's out trying to hurt you, there are other people in your life who treat you much better that deserve that amount of thought and consideration, I say put the energy towards making someone else happy.

-

[Phil_McGraw]

Wow thanks for the great posts guys! I feel better already. Group E-Hug!

[Dumbass17]

to the original poster
the answer is in your sig!

but seriously i went through the same thing after a breakup, it was bad. but just give it time. time heals all wounds.
be thankful for what you have. material items are nothing, they're artificial happiness, they're a bandid

also go steel some cheese!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wS5xOZ7Rq8

[van]

When you learn to love yourself for who you are, how you are and your position in the world everything else will just fall into place for you. Being ninteen you should not need to worry about all those things you're currently worrying about. Living at home is not really a big deal anymore especially in these rather 'tough' times. Having a religion is a choice and by not having one does not make you any less of a person than the next individual. Your best friends must not really be your best friends cause if they were they wouldn't be partying with your ex-girlfriend. Whether people believe in the "bros code of ethics" I do and I would never hang out with my friends ex's.

How important or not important your life is based on your values of how you see yourself in the world. If you think low of yourself obviously your place in the world is at the bottom. If you value yourself then the sky is truly the limit on where you are and where you can be when you set a goal for yourself. Life is all about setting goals and trying to achieve your desired goals throughout your timeline.

Most people not including people who pimp bitches or sell drugs probably work real hard for where they are right now. The question you have to ask yourself is how hard are you working at life? What goals have you been setting for yourself and how much of these goals have you reached and conquered?

Although there is lots of things happening in the world the last thing you should be worrying about is other people. The problem (or not a problem) lies within yourself and discovering what is happiness defined to you as, is it materialistic? Is it a mentality of some sort? Is it a physical thing? Honestly, once you stop worrying about trying to buy a bmw/merc/ferrari and wearing louis vuitton/gucci/whatever you'll find you'll have more money to spend on things that are more worthwhile and has a higher memorable value (versus dollar value).

Happiness can be anything from seeing a stranger smile at you and asking you how you're doing that certain day, it can be when your garden starts to bloom for the spring/summer, happiness is anything you want it to be because happiness is not racist nor sexist. Happiness for an individual is really nothing but a word however, how the word is defined like I said is entirely up to you. Cheers.

PS: I have a 2,000 member seminar coming up next month -- tickets are $225.00/each learn how to love yourself and conequer all aspects of life, money, career.. and just kidding!

[OCDP]

Originally posted by ABteg00
Yes, Phil_McGraw you have been hurt, I feel your pain!, who hurt you? who hurt you? who hurt you, who hurt you!

Family Guy ? ahahha Oh Lionel, you have been hurt.. this much is true... who hurt you?...

[5000Audi]

dood you still young.. go out and nail a whole lotta girls.. then once that get boring try n find bi girls then have 3 somes with them.. im sure that would make 90% of guys real happy...

but in all honesty. go out and do things man, dont sit and think about the past... the past is the past.. nothing you can do about it.. look to the future then you will start to feel better..

[A790]

Happiness is a simple thing to obtain. The trick is to learn to be happy with what you already have or can readily achieve.

When I'm having a bad day I strap on my roller blades, crank my MP3 player, and get going. Roller blading is new to me, so I still suck pretty bad, but I'm slowly getting better... and that's what puts the smile on my face.

If I'm having a REALLY rough day I hit the gym twice as hard. I push it all out of me- when I leave, it's euphoria.

For some, driving is their fix. For others it's painting.

Try calling an old friend and catch up. Sort life out.

The bottom line is that should always remember one thing: you have only one life to live. Where's the sense in not enjoying it? No one can bring you down but yourself.

[CokerRat]

You're young. Spend a while trying new things. Do some travelling. Meet some new people. Volunteer somewhere that helps people less fortunate. Figure out what it is that might give your life purpose.