EK 2.0
10-22-2005, 05:06 PM
...And thought it was clever...apologies if a repost...
TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2005
Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for
the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars
are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
AND NOW...FOR THE #1 SMART ASS ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR 2005...
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says : "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2005
Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for
the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars
are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
AND NOW...FOR THE #1 SMART ASS ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR 2005...
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says : "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."