Top IRC Quotes

[Xtrema]

http://bash.org/?top2

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

:rofl:

[Pee_Sack]

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you


bahaha i have a t-shirt that says that

[Vagabond142]

#9081 +(4479)- [X]

Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west
Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety.
Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.
Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.
Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR.
Pirate: Avast!
Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!
Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.
Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.
Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound


#14258 +(4475)- [X]

<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards

#201579 +(4340)- [X]

<by> Is there anyway I can tell the world I'm an idiot?
<Seven7> Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
<by> Kk
<by> I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
<by> ?
<by> Now what?
<Seven7> Don't worry. It's done

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Xtrema]

<DannyB> some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet
<DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
<DannyB> and can reload from there if i die
<DannyB> she was confused

and I got my self a new quote for the sig....

[Vagabond142]

#146497 +(3770)- [X]

<DemonEater> wtf
<DemonEater> ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship
<DemonEater> who the hell watches jump rope competiti--- ooh bouncy

^^^^^ This is definitely half the population of Beyond's thoughts right there :thumbsup:

[Vagabond142]

Best. IRC. Owning. EVER!

#126273 +(3749)- [X]

(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure :)
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend I'm 20 ;)
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ...

[handsomebassman]

I love this one...

#10372 +(4407)- [X]

<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns.

And this...

#115 +(4321)- [X]

<BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
<BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
<BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
<BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

[Bill Cosby]

SELF OWNAGE

#217425 +(3596)- [X]

<Fireslide> next person to talk after his line will be kicked :)
<Fireslide> *this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide (12‹61912›)

[Vagabond142]

#367808 +(3344)- [X]

*** Zeron is now known as you
* you farted.
* you sigh in frustration.
* you lose
* you suck at life
*** Wildfyre is now known as our
* Goblin_Leecher thinks you need a life
* our conversation is entirely too weird
*** Goblin_Leecher is now known as we
* we are going stir crazy
* you are going a little too far
* our laughter fills the offices nearby.
* you are fired.
* we need new jobs
* you agree
* you wonder when this madness will end
* we are not sane
* you are correct
* our sanity has left?
<Talathar> you know...if a sane person were to walk in here...they'd be very very confused right about now...
* you are one with the matrix.

I seriously laughed quite loudly in the Elbow Room at the University when i read that, have pretty much 50 people giving me "wtf??" looks :D

[Vagabond142]

#188572 +(3248)- [X]

<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

Modern science at its peak :thumbsup:

[2000_SI]

[11:37] <Wray> Your girlfriend wanted a threesome so you broke up with her? Man I'm gay and I still want to kick your ass

____________________________________

[20:10] <Dane> About 20 years ago, I was going out with a girl that played the Easter Bunny at a local mall.
[20:10] <Dane> She came over after work, and we were having sex.
[20:10] <Dane> In the middle of it (her on top), she popped the bunny head on.
[20:10] <Dane> I'm offically warped for life.

_____________________________________

[15:17] <pyjamamama> once i got 3 emails in my hotmail
[15:17] <pyjamamama> the subject lines were
[15:17] <pyjamamama> "see the passion of the christ"
[15:17] <pyjamamama> "covered in spooge"

_____________________________________

[20:53] <Cha> all my friends hate me
[20:53] <Skizo> take that bulimia!
[20:54] <Cha> they LOOK at food and gain weight, i eat two pounds of candy and get skinnier
[20:54] <VenMalakim> Yeah, but your heart must be clogged full of delicious fat
[20:54] <Cha> i have the best metabolism ever
[20:54] <Cha> yeah
[20:54] <Cha> probably, ven
[20:54] <Cha> i'm going to get diabetes and die
[20:54] <Cha> but i'll be skinny, goddammit

____________________________________

[14:06] <hadieno> man i wonder if someone has ever been getting eaten alive and they knew they couldn't get out of it
[14:06] <hadieno> so they'd just start taking some bites out of themself too
[14:06] <hadieno> just for the hell of it

____________________________________

[18:18] <Lilmuckers> hmmm, do you think i could ask my girlfriend to give me fellatio for christmas?

[Vagabond142]

#5543 +(3124)- [X]

<andy> moo spelled backwards is moo
<andy> no wait

Another self owning

[00CivicSi]

Originally posted by Vagabond142
Best. IRC. Owning. EVER!

#126273 +(3749)- [X]

(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure :)
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend I'm 20 ;)
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ...



HAHAHA that's awsome :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Vagabond142]

#99060 +(17430)- [X]

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

Moderator pwnage! :clap:

[Kirbs17]

Originally posted by Vagabond142
#9081 +(4479)- [X]

Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west
Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety.
Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.
Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.
Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR.
Pirate: Avast!
Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!
Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.
Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.
Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: bahahahhahahahhahahahhaa

[2000_SI]

[22:30] <KBC> What if My Little Pony had superpowers? www.SuperPony.com
[22:31] <CarlMenger> This site makes me happy
[22:31] <CarlMenger> Sadly, it is probably made by furries
[22:31] <Emperor_Nick> Dear god
[22:31] <Emperor_Nick> I love this channel
[22:32] <Emperor_Nick> Every time I come here, it gives me one more thing to add to the "Big list of reasons I'm going to kill myself"

_____________________________________________

[22:18] <DangerousCurves> man
[22:18] <DangerousCurves> now i wanna go into a store
[22:18] <DangerousCurves> and buy a pregnancy test
[22:18] <DangerousCurves> then come back in 5 mins and buy some wire coathangers

_____________________________________________

[18:38] <Celox> heh, in assembly the other day the headmaster reminded us that there are to be no physical displays of affection
[18:39] <Celox> the staff probably thought this meant no kissing or hugging
[18:39] <Celox> but he and all they students knew he meant no fucking in the girls changing rooms

_____________________________________________

[12:58] <VEKrueger> Heh I was at the mall today
[12:59] <VEKrueger> One of the janitors (all dark gray uniform)
[12:59] <VEKrueger> He had a black headband on with extra fabric in the back hanging down and a brown mullet haircut
[12:59] <VEKrueger> He was mopping, he walked away, then walked back and slipped on the water and fell flat on his back
[13:00] <MaXilla> hahaha
[13:00] <MaXilla> NICE
[13:00] <VEKrueger> Somebody across the room shouted "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"

______________________________________________

[20:47] <Goonigootoo> then abandon all hope ye who enter
[20:48] <NightLord> They should put that on my sisters underwear

[Vagabond142]

#99835 +(11324)- [X]

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

Some of these are absolute gold :)

[Vagabond142]

#207373 +(10217)- [X]

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile ([email protected]) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

I just got the Elbow Room people to look at me weird again when I burst out laughing reading that

[Vagabond142]

#9501 +(7859)- [X]

<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

Perfect... absolutely PERFECT... owning




#349567 +(7795)- [X]

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing..


Ooops :P

[Clanche]

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

:rofl: :rofl: :banghead: :rofl:

[khtm]

#98 +(4257)- [X]

<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers

[Vagabond142]

#25464 +(7503)- [X]

<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID



#125283 +(7369)- [X]

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

[Clanche]

Originally posted by Vagabond142
#99835 +(11324)- [X]

&lt;Guo_Si&gt; Hey, you know what sucks?
&lt;TheXPhial&gt; vaccuums
&lt;Guo_Si&gt; Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
&lt;TheXPhial&gt; black holes
&lt;Guo_Si&gt; Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
&lt;TheXPhial&gt; lava?

Some of these are absolute gold :)


hahaha reminds me of the good old IRC days looking for mp3s (before napster even existed for all you 16 year olds out there) :thumbsup:

[Vagabond142]

#104383 +(7001)- [X]

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

[Vagabond142]

#8102 +(6724)- [X]

<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)

Another moderator pwning

[Clanche]

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

so good`:rofl:

[Vagabond142]

#77904 +(5986)- [X]

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%


#309397 +(5985)- [X]

<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<peng> ...
<peng> what?
<VolteFace`> oh shit
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit

I think I am going to get kicked from the Elbow Room because I damn near fell out of my chair with that one


#4848 +(5974)- [X]

<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK

O_o

[Clanche]

Originally posted by Vagabond142
#104383 +(7001)- [X]

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

hahahhaha omg

[Vagabond142]

#50891 +(5849)- [X]

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

OMG!! A teacher owning!! :thumbsup:

[2000_SI]

[18:11] <Fenris_Wolf> I had a squad with some Southern dude today.
[18:11] <Fenris_Wolf> He even said "Dangnabit!" when he died once.
[18:11] <Beerman> niiiice
[18:11] <Chebbs> awwww
[18:11] <Chebbs> thats so cute
[18:13] <Fenris_Wolf> That was after he had accidentally blown up four teammates and himself with C4.

__________________

[22:03] <GreyMantledwolf> man
[22:03] <GreyMantledwolf> my new roommate has OCD
[22:03] <GreyMantledwolf> its GREAT
[22:03] <GreyMantledwolf> everything is ridiculously clean

__________________

[15:44] <Lion> I am totally having an impulse to go to the feminine hygiene section in Walmart or something and just start screaming out "OH SHIT MY GASH IS BLEEDING EVERYWHERE."

__________________

[19:13] <VenMalakim> there is no holy spirit. God has midichloreans.

__________________

[14:01] <silentpyjamas> once i mistakenly had phone sex with him

[Vagabond142]

#6441 +(5827)- [X]

<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado

Best afk message ever



#334762 +(5722)- [X]

<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o...k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy

o___O



#412248 +(5566)- [X]

<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.

:rofl:

[Vagabond142]

#120296 +(5554)- [X]

<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....


#126218 +(5445)- [X]

<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs> i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???
<XeNoX> Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible bitch.


#262417 +(5399)- [X]

<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"


#329292 +(5382)- [X]

<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall


#88575 +(5353)- [X]

<Stormrider> I should bomb something
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )

pwned :guns: :nut:

[Vagabond142]

#462310 +(5192)- [X]

< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.

DAMNED STRAIGHT YOU MAC LOVERS HAHAA!!! :guns:


#12431 +(4932)- [X]

<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice


:devil:



#246405 +(4923)- [X]

<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt.
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
<d|syztem> what the FUCK

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


#352172 +(4743)- [X]

<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor :(
<rycool> ...
<NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.
<NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.



#376790 +(4695)- [X]

Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude

[Vagabond142]

#212775 +(4562)- [X]

Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it


#214810 +(4524)- [X]

<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> fuck you


#268247 +(4497)- [X]

<glacial> I love school
<glacial> Today our term paper due date's set
<glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member.
<glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
<glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
<glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"

Another teacher pwnage

[00CivicSi]

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?

[Vagabond142]

#244675 +(188)- [X]

<HF> uhm... from CNET Shopping... This Western Digital Raptor WD360GD .... Its data transfer rate of 150 megabits-per-second is relatively fast, compared to the typical hard drive.
<HF> This Western Digital Caviar SE WD2500JD .... Compared to a typical hard drive, its data transfer rate of 150 megabits-per-second is relatively slow.
<HF> This Western Digital Caviar SE WD1200JD .... Compared to a typical hard drive, its data transfer rate of 150 megabits-per-second is fairly standard.
<HF> Well at least they cover all the bases
<HF> "Goldie Locks and the Three Hard Drives"

So true -_-

[Vagabond142]

#125928 +(1247)- [X]

<m[e]ntor> Does anyone know where I can buy 100 m of wireless lan cable?
<insight> Well, you could try NASA's "things not yet and never will be invented"-department or something.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is almost as good as a yohanism

[2000_SI]

<Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
<Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040.
<Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong.
<Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404"
<Ich> and I actually laughed out loud

________________

<Insomniak`> Stupid fucking Google
<Insomniak`> "The" is a common word, and was not included in your search
<Insomniak`> "Who" is a common word, and was not included in your search

________________

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

________________

<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
<YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie ([email protected]) has joined #
<YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF

_________________

<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

__________________

<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
<cristobal> and heat up the door knob
<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....

___________________

<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.

___________________

<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice and all that good stuff.
<beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other. One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said "Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice".
<beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?" and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus for 15 minutes

[Bill Cosby]

Vagabond142

you need to relax you already posted the link, all of those quotes are there

one or two is ok, but you done gone overboard

[Vagabond142]

Cosby:

Eyes are good things to have. Because if you did have some, you would see that

a) My name is not Xtrema
b) I am not the OP

Hence, I have a $30 off coupon for LensCrafters here if you want to come get it :thumbsup:

And there is nothing wrong with bolstering one's own post count :bigpimp:

[Bill Cosby]

hey sorry

but on a more serious note,

i will take you up on the offer for $30 at lenscrafters

where and when can we meet

[Vagabond142]

Unfortunately, it's expired :eek:

[Vagabond142]

#608521 +(584)- [X]

<Numi> hey, can you guys just check a site out and tell me if it's up?
<Haddock> depends, what is it?
<Numi> just my apache server, it works for me but seems to be down for anyone else
<Haddock> alright, what's the address?
<Numi> http://127.0.0.1
<Haddock> ......
<Haddock> ...Yeah, it's up.


ANother self owning :) (NOT in the Top200 list *beats Cosby over the head with the internet* HAHAH!)

[Kirbs17]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Bill Cosby]

Originally posted by Vagabond142
Unfortunately, it's expired :eek:

dont offer it if its expired

fucking false pretenses GAWD

[Vagabond142]

better than no pretenses, my good man

Or it could be considered a posttense, as it's expired :\ Ponder ponder ponder...

[Foz]

:drama: :rofl:

[Carfanman]

<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Vagabond142]

#54343 +(838)- [X]

* Lilmuckers hugs iphopper
* iphopper reciprocates the hug
* Lilmuckers grabs iphoppers lowest common factor and makes it proportianal to 1 over 2
* iphopper primes lil's hug
* Lilmuckers differentiates iphopper gradient
* Lilmuckers takes the second differential to work out the highest and lowest points
* Lilmuckers looks about at the assembled masses confused faces and blushes
* iphopper tries to find lil's limit as it approaches x, and the derivative of that value
<ragnarok2040> okay, who said maths geeks could cyber in here?

O_o this one is just scary

[Zero102]

Holy shit...
Man, my sides hurt after reading that site.
I think that makes me a geek, but it's all good.....
Haha, everybody in my house thinks I'm fucked in the head now, but it's okay :)

[dino_martini]

<born1986> why the fuck isn't my disc drive working
<born1986> i fucking worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school
<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my fuckin drive ain't working
<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> hell yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this shit always happen to me?
<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position
<born1986> i havent touched it since school
<born1986> i'm growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ass> throw that shit out tha window

. . .

<born1986> OMG i fuckin did it!!!
<born1986> FUCK!!!!!
<Z00ass> it works?
<born1986> no, i threw it out the window
<Z00ass> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ass> :D
<born1986> FUCK SHIT FUCK
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb

. . .

<born1986> shit
<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ass> :o
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> that fucking disk wasnt even there
<Z00ass> ???
<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway
<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag
<Z00ass> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now

. . .

<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb


****************************************************

lol!

[ninspeed]

#166956 +(3213)- [X]

[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake
#203815 +(3141)- [X]

<Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.
#65120 +(3073)- [X]

<tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had
<lasombra> tumult ?
<tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine
<tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth)
<tumult> he says bullshit
<tumult> i tell him to fuck off
<tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times
<tumult> sits back down
<tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care
<tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk
<tumult> from my lip
<tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say
<tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?"
<zyko^> what did she do?
<tumult> punched me in the face

#34898 +(762)- [X]

<Spyro> Dude..
<Spyro> The other day, I was smoking some weed and got into the car to go and drop my sister off to the bus stop. I thought some prick stole my steering wheel....
<Spyro> But I was in the backseat

[googe]

the best is the harry potter one, im surprised no one has posted that yet

[DJ Lazy]

Originally posted by dino_martini
&lt;born1986&gt; why the fuck isn't my disc drive working
&lt;born1986&gt; i fucking worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school
&lt;born1986&gt; i now i cant finish it 'cos my fuckin drive ain't working
&lt;Z00ass&gt; you got the right drivers?
&lt;born1986&gt; hell yes
&lt;born1986&gt; it was working fine yesterday
&lt;born1986&gt; why does this shit always happen to me?
&lt;Z00ass&gt; maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position
&lt;born1986&gt; i havent touched it since school
&lt;born1986&gt; i'm growing impatient
&lt;born1986&gt; ANGRY even
&lt;Z00ass&gt; throw that shit out tha window

. . .

&lt;born1986&gt; OMG i fuckin did it!!!
&lt;born1986&gt; FUCK!!!!!
&lt;Z00ass&gt; it works?
&lt;born1986&gt; no, i threw it out the window
&lt;Z00ass&gt; the disk?
&lt;born1986&gt; NO the whole drive
&lt;born1986&gt; i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
&lt;Z00ass&gt; :D
&lt;born1986&gt; FUCK SHIT FUCK
&lt;born1986&gt; THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
&lt;born1986&gt; brb

. . .

&lt;born1986&gt; shit
&lt;Z00ass&gt; what? did ya break it?
&lt;born1986&gt; well i couldn't open the drive
&lt;born1986&gt; so i had to pound it against a rock
&lt;Z00ass&gt; :o
&lt;born1986&gt; quite HARD
&lt;born1986&gt; and you know what?
&lt;born1986&gt; that fucking disk wasnt even there
&lt;Z00ass&gt; ???
&lt;born1986&gt; i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway
&lt;born1986&gt; and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag
&lt;Z00ass&gt; lol
&lt;born1986&gt; I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
&lt;born1986&gt; i'm actually cryin right now

. . .

&lt;born1986&gt; wonder if i could make that drive work again
&lt;born1986&gt; brb


****************************************************

lol!


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: OMG.. if that's reall.. Sooo Funny

[Carfanman]

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at http://www.tubgirl.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'



<studdud> what the fuck is wtf


<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section




<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"



(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer



<benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
<benja> The survey was a huge failure...
<benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
<benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
<benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
<benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
<benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
<benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
<benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant


<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> fuck you
^^this one is great because its off the cuff and so perfect


<BigBurk> God i really cant stand windows me
<Felacio> heh i know. i moved to win2k
* Felacio sucks huge cock
<Felacio> errr ME, not /me



<orf> animals are just refridgerators
<orf> they keep the meat fresh till yer ready to eat it


<Jaayy> I like my coffee the way I like my niggers.
<Naive-EOC> Dead?
<Derid-EOC> In the Field?
<Ball-licker> In jail?
<Humur> Killing each other?
<Naive-EOC> Stealing?
<Sailym> Covered in blood?
<Humur> 5$ a piece?
<Derid-EOC> Stupid?
<Jaayy> ...
<Jaayy> BLACK YOU FUCKING RACIST BASTARDS! I LIKE MY COFFEE BLACK!

[2000_SI]

Originally posted by Carfanman

&lt;Jaayy&gt; I like my coffee the way I like my niggers.
&lt;Naive-EOC&gt; Dead?
&lt;Derid-EOC&gt; In the Field?
&lt;Ball-licker&gt; In jail?
&lt;Humur&gt; Killing each other?
&lt;Naive-EOC&gt; Stealing?
&lt;Sailym&gt; Covered in blood?
&lt;Humur&gt; 5$ a piece?
&lt;Derid-EOC&gt; Stupid?
&lt;Jaayy&gt; ...
&lt;Jaayy&gt; BLACK YOU FUCKING RACIST BASTARDS! I LIKE MY COFFEE BLACK!
Hahaha, that one is wicked...

[Goblin]

I enjoyed this thread very much so.

[Vagabond142]

<Leitari> omg
<Leitari> king kong is long
<Leitari> ^^
<Leitari> my ass hurts
<Leitari> wait
<Leitari> that didnt sound right

[Vagabond142]

<HellGremlin> Hmm
<HellGremlin> Fascinating new spam emails I'm getting lately
<HellGremlin> Apparently, they're selling pills that increase the volume of your ejaculate by 500%
<HellGremlin> Why the fuck would anyone in their right mind want that
<BaronVonVirtu> lol
<Talthrus> lol
<HellGremlin> It's messy enough as it is
<volume> :|
<BaronVonVirtu> I got the ebay scam ones
<HellGremlin> OH GOOD
<HellGremlin> MY BALLS JUST THREW UP A GALLON OF PEARL JAM
<HellGremlin> HEY HONEY GET A BUNCH OF TOWELS
<HellGremlin> WE CAN'T SLEEP IN OUR BED FOR A FEW DAYS UNTIL MY SPERM FLOOD DRIES
<Talthrus> the mental image >_<
<Talthrus> it won't turn off!!!!
<HellGremlin> WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE DOG DROWNED
<Levin> :|

[Vagabond142]

smudge167> can i ask what might seem an obiviuous question? what's a noob?

[Carfanman]

Newbie. Also Newb, n00b, you get the Idea. Someone who is new to something, usually tech related. A noob to a forum. A newb to computers. A newb to the internet. ect...

[BerserkerCatSplat]

Originally posted by Carfanman
Newbie. Also Newb, n00b, you get the Idea. Someone who is new to something, usually tech related. A noob to a forum. A newb to computers. A newb to the internet. ect...

...wow. :nut: Someone didn't get it.

[Foz]

sounds like a boob.. or boobie or booby

[Carfanman]

OH wait. Crap. I can't believe I answered that.:angel:


Wow, I missed that completely.

[b_t]

Originally posted by Carfanman
OH wait. Crap. I can't believe I answered that.:angel:


Wow, I missed that completely.

I can't believe anyone contends with your mindless (and endless) babble. Like, fuck, man, get it through your head, get the hell out of here. You were backwards to start with, now that you've been a dropout for like a year or something, you are like the ultimate in ignorance.

[Khyron]

Originally posted by Vagabond142
smudge167&gt; can i ask what might seem an obiviuous question? what's a noob?


Originally posted by Carfanman
Newbie. Also Newb, n00b, you get the Idea. Someone who is new to something, usually tech related. A noob to a forum. A newb to computers. A newb to the internet. ect...

This should come up on google when you search for "results of home schooling". :nut:

Khyron