Understanding Engineers

[Xtrema]

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."







A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been
waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him."

He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for
them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

[Xtrema]

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

[bball2]

Lmao, great jokes :rofl:

[TheWave]

I'm an engineer and all I have to say... it's sad but true. :dunno:

[a social dsease]

haha I've only completed one yr of Engineering (@ uofc) and I have heard every terrible engineer joke there is! I'd post a few but most are so bad i tried to forget them immediately!!!
Those two aren't too bad tho :D

[JordanEG6]

Originally posted by Xtrema
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

HAHAHAA:rofl:

[shakalaka]

hahhah harsh but true! first one's hilarious btw!

[andres_mt]

^ lol did you not read the initial post?

[Aleks]

Originally posted by frostyda9
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

are you retelling the joke from above?

[98brg2d]

After being an engineer for a while the jokes start to slow down to things like:

don't ask him to fix it, he's an engineer (this is true, but I will supervise)

&

when a hot chick walks by: your an engineer, you wouldn't know what to do with it, or they mention something about firing warning shots

[TimG]

how do mathematicians/physicists/engineers deal with constipation?

they work it out with a pencil.

:rofl:

[JordanEG6]

Originally posted by TimG
how do mathematicians/physicists/engineers deal with constipation?

they work it out with a pencil.

:rofl:


LOL thats disgusting

[a.z13]

Did you get those from Lissel's 205 lecture. She busted all those.

[Seanith]

Originally posted by a.z13
Did you get those from Lissel's 205 lecture. She busted all those.

Shelly is my babys moma :rofl:

[Nova316]

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers
and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers
build targets.

Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at
all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else
would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
recreational area?"

An architect, an artist and an engineer were
discussing whether it was better to spend time with
the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist
said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
of the passion and mystery he found there. The
engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah. If you
have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman,
and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog
spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you
for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a week
and do whatever you want. The engineer smiled again
and put the frog back into his pocket. Finally, the
frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a
week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."

I got this from an email i got a while back
there all so sad but so true

[energieboi]

to an optimistist a glass is half full
to a pessemetist a glass is half empty
to a engineer the glass is twice as big as it needs to be

sorry too lazy to check spelling for those 2 words

in my company's lunch room, quiet true

[Seanith]

by the way you spelt that shit, you must have your general studies degree :rofl:

kidding

[energieboi]

^ lol ouch
if i got a general sci degree i wouldnt be with engineers
i would be scrubbing toilets down in chinatown