smart woman

[600cc's]

A police opfficer pulled up a lady for rash driving..........

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the woman and a
senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: The officer told me that you stole this car and murdered
the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please. The
woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite
stunned.

Officer 2: The officer claims that you do not have a driver's
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse
and examines the license.

He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: I must admit, ma'am, that I'm confused; the officer told
me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you
murdered the owner.

Woman: I suppose the officer told you I was speeding, too.

;)

[Zephyr]

hahaha mind games

[air_mikey]

lol thats halarious. heres another cop joke.

it was a long day for this cop. he was off in a couple minutes. he spots this guy speeding so he pulls him over. he pulls the guy over after a few moments then walks up to the driver.

cop: ive had a very long day today so if you give me an accuse why you were speeding and why you didnt pull over rite away that i have never heard before, ill let you go.

after thinking for a couple seconds he responds,

guy: me and my wife just got a divorce cuz she found another guy.

cop: sorry, ive heard that one before.

guy: wait im not finished, the other guy happens to be a police officer. i didnt pull over rite away because i thought you were him and wanted to give her back.

the cop ended up letting him go.

[600cc's]

ahahahhahaha

[Davetronz]

Hahahhahaha both ones are goodies!!!

[CrAzY_PLaYa]

THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A COP


1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"