tsuga
09-06-2007, 03:14 PM
Help I Have Been Run Over By A Bus
Devin DeWilde
I have been in this situation before. We were going on half a year and then it was ended, hard and abruptly. BANG, just like that it happened, I said it was mutual, but that was just to make me sound less of a coward. I had thought my world had ended, nothing was left for me in this world, I was finished, but then I thought to myself, I thought about all the memories that I had, trying to think of the great memories that we had, but nothing came to me. When we had been dating, people always that I deserved much better, people said that I didn’t deserve to be treated so bad, but I just went with it, I thought I was “in love” but I was only 16, I had no idea what love was. All of the memories that I had pulled out were never good, there was always a moment where she was either yelling at me, or we weren’t even talking to each other. For a couple of days after it had happened I didn’t really do anything, I kind of just killed the existence of myself, kind of like a rehab center, but no one was helping me, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I just thought, thought about all the horrible times we had together, I also thought about all the wasted time, and all of the wasted money, and the effort, just thrown away like garbage, all of that time, effort, and money wasted just hoping maybe after all of this she’ll stop the yelling, maybe we’ll stop the fighting, maybe we could make it a successful relationship, but nope, didn’t ever work out like I told myself it would. Sometimes I would think to myself that it really wasn’t worth it, but there would be more of me saying lets keep going, lets see how far the rabbit hole takes us. Heh. That was more like a hole filled with infested, diseased rats, so in other words it was hell. Once I had realized that I was better than her, it wasn’t worth working on, I guess you could say I was kind of a better person, it was kind of like I was moulding clay and she was the artist, she worked me into this horrible person that I had never seen in my life, the things I did, the things I said, I wasn’t like that, that wasn’t the real me, and I didn’t do anything about it. I had hurt people, physically and mentally, now I personally know how that feels but it was like I was a computer, and she erased all of the decency in me. Then I changed, like magic. I was myself again, I had more friends, I stopped with the nonsense, I was pretty much free. People asked me if I was alright, but I just kind of played them, I told them that it was nothing to me, but if you ask any guy they’ll say that, but it would be just to seem as if they were strong, or like they hadn’t cared about the person at all, well ill tell you, that’s all a lie, it kills them every time they say that, it digs a hole, so far in that they will beat themselves up for it. I just thought sometimes that if I had changed anything, it would have been that I chose a better person, but its not like someone can just examine someone and tell what kind of person they are, if their a nice person, if their a bad person, its all just like the lottery, all chosen by random. But I realized after that dating, it’s not to be metalled with, its not like some toy, it’s a serious thing. After dating her, I realized that it was a horrible ride, and it’s something I would never like to experience ever again, kind of like if a bus hit someone and you were on that bus, just traumatized by what had just happened, and having to go on living with what just happened, but now everything is perfect, because I have a new catch, she makes me see the colors of the rainbow every time I’m with her, she filled that aching hole, and now I’m whole again. This one’s a miracle, like a god given gift. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, she’s definitely a keeper. The bus ride, that’s in the past and It’s like a thousand pounds taken off my shoulders, because she makes me better.
Written By Devin DeWilde
Devin DeWilde
I have been in this situation before. We were going on half a year and then it was ended, hard and abruptly. BANG, just like that it happened, I said it was mutual, but that was just to make me sound less of a coward. I had thought my world had ended, nothing was left for me in this world, I was finished, but then I thought to myself, I thought about all the memories that I had, trying to think of the great memories that we had, but nothing came to me. When we had been dating, people always that I deserved much better, people said that I didn’t deserve to be treated so bad, but I just went with it, I thought I was “in love” but I was only 16, I had no idea what love was. All of the memories that I had pulled out were never good, there was always a moment where she was either yelling at me, or we weren’t even talking to each other. For a couple of days after it had happened I didn’t really do anything, I kind of just killed the existence of myself, kind of like a rehab center, but no one was helping me, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I just thought, thought about all the horrible times we had together, I also thought about all the wasted time, and all of the wasted money, and the effort, just thrown away like garbage, all of that time, effort, and money wasted just hoping maybe after all of this she’ll stop the yelling, maybe we’ll stop the fighting, maybe we could make it a successful relationship, but nope, didn’t ever work out like I told myself it would. Sometimes I would think to myself that it really wasn’t worth it, but there would be more of me saying lets keep going, lets see how far the rabbit hole takes us. Heh. That was more like a hole filled with infested, diseased rats, so in other words it was hell. Once I had realized that I was better than her, it wasn’t worth working on, I guess you could say I was kind of a better person, it was kind of like I was moulding clay and she was the artist, she worked me into this horrible person that I had never seen in my life, the things I did, the things I said, I wasn’t like that, that wasn’t the real me, and I didn’t do anything about it. I had hurt people, physically and mentally, now I personally know how that feels but it was like I was a computer, and she erased all of the decency in me. Then I changed, like magic. I was myself again, I had more friends, I stopped with the nonsense, I was pretty much free. People asked me if I was alright, but I just kind of played them, I told them that it was nothing to me, but if you ask any guy they’ll say that, but it would be just to seem as if they were strong, or like they hadn’t cared about the person at all, well ill tell you, that’s all a lie, it kills them every time they say that, it digs a hole, so far in that they will beat themselves up for it. I just thought sometimes that if I had changed anything, it would have been that I chose a better person, but its not like someone can just examine someone and tell what kind of person they are, if their a nice person, if their a bad person, its all just like the lottery, all chosen by random. But I realized after that dating, it’s not to be metalled with, its not like some toy, it’s a serious thing. After dating her, I realized that it was a horrible ride, and it’s something I would never like to experience ever again, kind of like if a bus hit someone and you were on that bus, just traumatized by what had just happened, and having to go on living with what just happened, but now everything is perfect, because I have a new catch, she makes me see the colors of the rainbow every time I’m with her, she filled that aching hole, and now I’m whole again. This one’s a miracle, like a god given gift. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, she’s definitely a keeper. The bus ride, that’s in the past and It’s like a thousand pounds taken off my shoulders, because she makes me better.
Written By Devin DeWilde