WTF... colon cleanse?

[A790]

Has anyone tried this? Someone suggested it to me but I'm not entirely sure of the concept.

Does it work? Is it healthy? Is it worth the average $90 cost? Are there actual benefits to it?

[civic2001]

just go and take a really big dump....

[Tik-Tok]

Watch the Penn&Teller Bullshit episode about it, it's amusing.

[wjjeeper]

I do one a year.
I'm a believer in them.

colonblow.com

[icecreamvan]

Originally posted by Tik-Tok
Watch the Penn&Teller Bullshit episode about it, it's amusing.

I saw that episode. It was P&T's birthday present to that guy. :rofl:


OP seems to be having a few medical problems lately. Is this sudden urge to have something stuck up his butt due to this? (http://forums.beyond.ca/st/202436/headaches-and-sex/)

[Datsun-Fever]

http://colonblow.com/images/dear_mom_2.jpg
HAHAHAHAHAHA

[A790]

Originally posted by icecreamvan


I saw that episode. It was P&T's birthday present to that guy. :rofl:


OP seems to be having a few medical problems lately. Is this sudden urge to have something stuck up his butt due to this? (http://forums.beyond.ca/st/202436/headaches-and-sex/)
So apparently you have no idea what a colon cleanse actually is, but thanks for the lame burn?

[treg50]

Colonblow FTW, make sure you're wearing Oops I Crapped My Pants (http://www.drinkalot.com/Videos/564/Oops_I_crapped_my_pants.htm) undergarments.

Watch the Osborne episode where the Osborne boy does it. Or get in the zone, ColonZone. (www.colonzone.org/)

[sr20s14zenki]

Colon Cleansing is actually a good thing to do apparently, it cleans out all of the toxins and stuff that kinda "hang around" in there and dont get for lack of a better term, "pooped out"

Ive talked to a few people who took the stuff and did it, and felt alot better, increased energy, etc....that and i think it reduces the chances of colon cancer? not 100% on teh cancer thing. Anyways, from what ive heard its worth it.

[sputnik]

http://www.boxxet.com/Penn_&_Teller/Video_Colonic_Irrigation_on_Penn_Teller_Bullshit.yc7c4.d

[sr20s14zenki]

Wow....you people are stupid.....

i love how when a good thread involving health questions comes along, everybody has to be morons and make it funny, when its clearly a serious question. Get a life...

[sputnik]

I think Penn and Teller is pretty serious.

So because your post is sincere (albeit ignorant) everyone else is a moron?

[treg50]

Okay... I may as well pitch in something useful. Colon cleansing is a good thing to do, not necessary but it can definitely make you feel better... afterwards. Depending on the method you choose, during the actual process of colon cleansing it can be a little uncomfortable, tough, or nauseating for some.

The only method I have any experience with is the herbal colon cleanse. No mechanical (ie. tubes, pumps, hoses, etc.) parts required. There are instructions in the cleansing kit, you may be required to eat a specific diet for 2 weeks to 4 weeks (maybe more). The time required to complete a cleansing depends on the brand you get and the 'express' (less time req.) or 'gradual' (more time req.) versions.

The active ingredients will result in you going to the washroom a bit more than usual to defecate out various amounts of toxic buildup that will be loosened from your colon. After you're done, you should feel lighter and healthier, and have a better working digestive system overall.

[boredengineer]

Scam like all the other cleansing nonsense. Medically there is no reason to get one done. :nut:

[benyl]

If you eat properly, there is no need for a colon cleanse.

Just make sure you have enough fibre in your diet and your body will cleanse itself.

I saw a late night informercial on this shit. I was all into it and after doing a lot of research, I realized it is required and can actually be bad for you. Most MDs do not recommend it. Changing your diet will have the same effect.

[A790]

Originally posted by benyl
If you eat properly, there is no need for a colon cleanse.

Just make sure you have enough fibre in your diet and your body will cleanse itself.

I saw a late night informercial on this shit. I was all into it and after doing a lot of research, I realized it is required and can actually be bad for you. Most MDs do not recommend it. Changing your diet will have the same effect.
Talked with a doctor about it today and he told me the same thing. It's good to have friends that are doctors :D

[95EG6P]

It's good, I do one once a year. Although it's not medically porven by western medicine but other parts of the world that don't have western medicine use herbs and all sorts of other things find that it's effective. Not all natural stuff is gonna work for your body, some are great and some don't do anything. Usually when you do a cleanse of some sort, a diet program will be with it. You can purchase these different types of cleases at GNC and Morning Sun Health foods.

Flex

[sputnik]

Originally posted by 95EG6P
It's good, I do one once a year. Although it's not medically porven by western medicine but other parts of the world that don't have western medicine use herbs and all sorts of other things find that it's effective. Not all natural stuff is gonna work for your body, some are great and some don't do anything. Usually when you do a cleanse of some sort, a diet program will be with it. You can purchase these different types of cleases at GNC and Morning Sun Health foods.

Flex

So which doctor told you that?

Or what is the salesperson selling you the Wild Rose laxitives/cleanse for $100?

Many placebos have been shown to make people feel better. Those havent been proven by western medicine either.

[civic2001]

Originally posted by sputnik
Many placebos have been shown to make people feel better. Those havent been proven by western medicine either.
BINGO!, i was just going to say this, if people BELIEVE that something will make them feel better, increase energy, better their health, guess what IT WILL. It's called the placebo effect, if you think something will help your body, you will think you feel better even though the treatment itself may have been completely useless. Same thing goes for this colon blowing buisness, some people have posted here that they feel healtheir and more energetic, etc.. thats the placebo effect at work, there is no reason to be vacuumed out once a year or however often it is, with a PROPER diet your body cleanses itself regularly, watch your fiber intake.

[JWL]

I've actually done a few session of colonics and it has helped me. A little bit about my background and experience. I'm a very regular person that would go once if not twice a day. I also eat pretty health and exercise. Anyway, I was going through a tough time last year (found out my spouse cheated one me and was dealing with lawyers about separation papers and what not). Least to say, I was dealing with a lot of stress, and when your body is stressed, things change. Anyway, I wasn't able to go for three four days and was feeling really uncomfortable and bloated. I ate a lot of fiberous foods, but nothing, it was getting to the point where I was feeling pain in my abs. So, a friend told me about doing a colonic. I did some research on it and decided to give it a try. I found this place: http://www.arcadyholistic.ca/ and they had a 4 hour Rejuvenation Program that includes a one hour colonic session, 2 hour sauna session and a one hour massage. It is a little pricy, but it was well worth it. Of course it was very uncomfortable at the beginning, but if you learn to relax it's not so bad. Anyway, asked them a lot of questions during my session and they actually examine your stool when it comes out. They told me that in one session some people lose 1-3 lbs due to fecal matter. They also told me when Elvis died, they found that he had 25lbs of fecal matter in him (I don't know if that's true or not, but it grossed me out!) They told me a lot of interesting facts and about their educational background, etc. After my one hour colonic, the sauna was so relaxing. You would go in for 20 mins and come out for 20 mins and wipe yourself down with an cider mixture so your body doesn't absorb the toxins back in. This would be done three times. After that, you get a massage. I did the program once and continued to do the colonics a couple more times after that.

If you just want to do a colonic, I believe that it's $70 at Arcady. The people there are wonderful to deal with and are very professional.

With all the junk that I have been eating over the holidays, I'm planning on doing a detox program along with the Rejuvenation Program in the next couple of weeks. I know that some people don't believe in the holistic medicine, but honestly, it helped me during the time when I really needed it.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. Anyway, that's just my 2 cents.

[boredengineer]

Originally posted by JWL
I know that some people don't believe in the holistic medicine.

If people didn't treat it like some form of religion... Holistic is a lot like a cult. They have all the answers, health canada is "lying", you shoudln't use drugs proven by science etc... All I have to say is you can believe in invisible pink elephants that run through your colon too that doesn't mean they are there. Until you can *PROVE* with science your "holistic" medicine actually does something all you are buying is snake oil. There is a reason health canada exists and that is to protect consumers from people who try to sell that said snake oil be it in the form of cleansing or herbal remedies.

[sputnik]

Originally posted by JWL
I've actually done a few session of colonics and it has helped me. A little bit about my background and experience. I'm a very regular person that would go once if not twice a day. I also eat pretty health and exercise. Anyway, I was going through a tough time last year (found out my spouse cheated one me and was dealing with lawyers about separation papers and what not). Least to say, I was dealing with a lot of stress, and when your body is stressed, things change. Anyway, I wasn't able to go for three four days and was feeling really uncomfortable and bloated. I ate a lot of fiberous foods, but nothing, it was getting to the point where I was feeling pain in my abs. So, a friend told me about doing a colonic. I did some research on it and decided to give it a try. I found this place: http://www.arcadyholistic.ca/ and they had a 4 hour Rejuvenation Program that includes a one hour colonic session, 2 hour sauna session and a one hour massage. It is a little pricy, but it was well worth it. Of course it was very uncomfortable at the beginning, but if you learn to relax it's not so bad. Anyway, asked them a lot of questions during my session and they actually examine your stool when it comes out. They told me that in one session some people lose 1-3 lbs due to fecal matter. They also told me when Elvis died, they found that he had 25lbs of fecal matter in him (I don't know if that's true or not, but it grossed me out!) They told me a lot of interesting facts and about their educational background, etc. After my one hour colonic, the sauna was so relaxing. You would go in for 20 mins and come out for 20 mins and wipe yourself down with an cider mixture so your body doesn't absorb the toxins back in. This would be done three times. After that, you get a massage. I did the program once and continued to do the colonics a couple more times after that.

If you just want to do a colonic, I believe that it's $70 at Arcady. The people there are wonderful to deal with and are very professional.

With all the junk that I have been eating over the holidays, I'm planning on doing a detox program along with the Rejuvenation Program in the next couple of weeks. I know that some people don't believe in the holistic medicine, but honestly, it helped me during the time when I really needed it.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. Anyway, that's just my 2 cents.

I have some snake oil forsale.

Interested in some magic beans?

How about a Florida lakefront property?

Seriously dude. Based on what you are saying they could have told you that a colonic will make you shit gold and you would still shell out $70 for it. Do you do any research on your own or do you believe everything salespeople tell you?

[JWL]

I did some research on it and decided to give it a try.

You should read a little carefully. It was recommend to me and I did my research on it before going through with it. I know it sounds all hokey to you and to others on this forum, but it worked for me. A790 wanted to know what was it all about so I gave him my experience on it.

It's the same thing with Chinese medicine. People pay hundreds of dollars to get some herbs and boil it to drink. Some say it works for them and others think it's a waste of money. It all depends on what your beliefs are or then again, it could be the cultural difference between east and west.

[403Gemini]

If it works it works, even if it is mind over matter, if somebody requires a placebo to feel better, then who is it hurting, really?

For all we know Asprin and Tylonel executives are laughing their asses off at us ;)

[MintRacer]

my buddie told me all about it from some old chinese guy in his basement and I literally almost died laughin my ass off.. if your up for it the guy even offers half price on penis enlargement while ur on the table with tubes in ur ass..

[Weapon_R]

When I asked my doctor about colon cleansing, he rolled his eyes much like he did when I asked about the legitimacy of chiropractors.

[GTS Jeff]

Originally posted by 95EG6P
Although it's not medically porven by western medicine but other parts of the world that don't have western medicine use herbs and all sorts of other things find that it's effective. Not all natural stuff is gonna work for your body, some are great and some don't do anything. Usually when you do a cleanse of some sort, a diet program will be with it. You can purchase these different types of cleases at GNC and Morning Sun Health foods.

Flex

"Western medicine" is based on thorough research and EVIDENCE showing whether shit works or not. This means a ton of studies with as little bias as possible (eg. huge sample size, blinded patients, control groups, and so on.) Colon "cleansing" is proven to have no more effect than a placebo.

As for herbal medicine, it's just as potent as synthetic medicine, and not really non-Western in the sense I just described above.

Originally posted by JWL
I've actually done a few session of colonics and it has helped me. A little bit about my background and experience. I'm a very regular person that would go once if not twice a day. I also eat pretty health and exercise. Anyway, I was going through a tough time last year (found out my spouse cheated one me and was dealing with lawyers about separation papers and what not). Least to say, I was dealing with a lot of stress, and when your body is stressed, things change. Anyway, I wasn't able to go for three four days and was feeling really uncomfortable and bloated. I ate a lot of fiberous foods, but nothing, it was getting to the point where I was feeling pain in my abs. So, a friend told me about doing a colonic. I did some research on it and decided to give it a try. I found this place: http://www.arcadyholistic.ca/ and they had a 4 hour Rejuvenation Program that includes a one hour colonic session, 2 hour sauna session and a one hour massage. It is a little pricy, but it was well worth it. Of course it was very uncomfortable at the beginning, but if you learn to relax it's not so bad. Anyway, asked them a lot of questions during my session and they actually examine your stool when it comes out. They told me that in one session some people lose 1-3 lbs due to fecal matter. They also told me when Elvis died, they found that he had 25lbs of fecal matter in him (I don't know if that's true or not, but it grossed me out!) They told me a lot of interesting facts and about their educational background, etc. After my one hour colonic, the sauna was so relaxing. You would go in for 20 mins and come out for 20 mins and wipe yourself down with an cider mixture so your body doesn't absorb the toxins back in. This would be done three times. After that, you get a massage. I did the program once and continued to do the colonics a couple more times after that.

If you just want to do a colonic, I believe that it's $70 at Arcady. The people there are wonderful to deal with and are very professional.

With all the junk that I have been eating over the holidays, I'm planning on doing a detox program along with the Rejuvenation Program in the next couple of weeks. I know that some people don't believe in the holistic medicine, but honestly, it helped me during the time when I really needed it.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. Anyway, that's just my 2 cents.

Placebo effect. The common thread with all this hocus pocus is that there's ALWAYS a ton of psychosomatic stress relieving factors to go with the actual product itself. The massage and spa treatment probably helped you more than the actual "cleanse" itself. It also helps that the whole time, everyone there makes you feel good by using feel good terms like cleanse, holistic, rejuvenate, energy, get of the toxins...

And why are you so surprised that poo has weight? Weigh yourself before and after a shit. 1-3lbs sounds about right.

And do you know how narrow an intestine is? It's not like some poo can get stuck while the rest of it flows around it. Any time you poo, that's a colon cleanse right there. If your poo actually did get stuck somewhere, you'd get an abscess pretty quick and start feeling PAIN and SICK.

[GTS Jeff]

Oh btw, I had a good colon cleanse about 20 minutes ago. It was one of those perfect ones that slid out smoothly and wiped clean. Quite smelly though.

[civic2001]

Originally posted by GTS Jeff
Oh btw, I had a good colon cleanse about 20 minutes ago. It was one of those perfect ones that slid out smoothly and wiped clean. Quite smelly though.
hahahah, pwnt.

[A790]

My doctor buddies have basically told me outright that colon cleanses do not have any medical value. Those that practice holistic medicine claim that it's wondrous.

I saw, give em both chainsaws and see who comes out on top ;)

[jumperman8]

Drink straight lemon juice 5 times a day for a week.

this will do the trick. Very healthy to do.

[hjr]

it feeeels good, like a hot cold shower, that doesnt mean there are positive health effects.

[googe]

Originally posted by sr20s14zenki
Colon Cleansing is actually a good thing to do apparently, it cleans out all of the toxins and stuff that kinda "hang around" in there and dont get for lack of a better term, "pooped out"

Ive talked to a few people who took the stuff and did it, and felt alot better, increased energy, etc....that and i think it reduces the chances of colon cancer? not 100% on teh cancer thing. Anyways, from what ive heard its worth it.

Of course they told you that, they were dumb enough to shell out for it. They want to believe it worked. "Feeling better" means nothing.

And no, there is no shred of evidence that it reduces cancer, or that it even has any health benefits at all.

Even the FDA has banned colon cleansing products that are sold to help "general well-being".


I swear, "alternative medicine" is the health industry's equivalent to monster cable. I can't believe people just buy into stuff despite it having no basis whatsoever, or even worse, don't even try to find out if it does.

[Darkane]

Try this on for size.

http://www.drnatura.com/picture_gallery.html

Psyllium fibre. I take a tablespoon of that sometimes and I get wierd stringy floaties in my shit. It really scrapes the bowels. Colon cleansing is not bogus. It takes a long time to actually work.

Here's an FYI, if your shit isn't thick and long, your bowls are most likely caked with unpassables that restrict nutrients into the colon for absorption.

Again this is stuff I've read, take it with a grain of salt.

[canadian_hustla]

Originally posted by Darkane

http://www.drnatura.com/picture_gallery.html

[/B]


OMG wtf. :barf:

[googe]

Originally posted by Darkane
Try this on for size.

http://www.drnatura.com/picture_gallery.html

Psyllium fibre. I take a tablespoon of that sometimes and I get wierd stringy floaties in my shit. It really scrapes the bowels. Colon cleansing is not bogus. It takes a long time to actually work.

Here's an FYI, if your shit isn't thick and long, your bowls are most likely caked with unpassables that restrict nutrients into the colon for absorption.

Again this is stuff I've read, take it with a grain of salt.

If you base it on stuff you read, why don't you read a single actual study or evaluation by a medical professional?

Hmm, so you take a bunch of supplements and it makes you shit funny. This could mean 1 of 2 things:

A) The supplements pulled all the gunk out with it
B) The supplements are what creates the gunk, causing you to shit like that

Really, what is logical here...

I heard if you eat a lot of beets, it will pull red liquid trapped in your intestines for years out when you shit. ;)


The fact that page is written like a bad infomercial should be a red flag, but people are so gullible...

[FiveFreshFish]

Perhaps an enema would be a good start to healthy bowels?

[GTS Jeff]

Originally posted by Darkane
Try this on for size.

http://www.drnatura.com/picture_gallery.html

Psyllium fibre. I take a tablespoon of that sometimes and I get wierd stringy floaties in my shit. It really scrapes the bowels. Colon cleansing is not bogus. It takes a long time to actually work.

Here's an FYI, if your shit isn't thick and long, your bowls are most likely caked with unpassables that restrict nutrients into the colon for absorption.

Again this is stuff I've read, take it with a grain of salt.

LOL, I'll need the whole salt shaker to read that. Psyllium isn't some sort of natural medical wonder. It's a bulk forming laxative. Basically, it's just a fiber that absorbs water like mad, forming bulky stools. When it draws water out of the intestine and expands, it causes peristaltic movements. In other words, all it does is stimulate normal shitting and most of what you shit out is water soaked psyllium.

And btw, if you want psyllium, stop paying for those expensive "natural" marketed stuff, just buy some METAMUCIL. Sounds pretty stupid to be taking Metamucil for no reason at all eh? :rofl: :rofl:

As for your claims that shit gets caked on, as I said, when that happens, you'll develop an abscess pretty quick. Now since those aren't too common, I think it's a good guess that what you're saying is in fact not true at all.

[250and3]

Originally posted by Darkane
Try this on for size.

http://www.drnatura.com/picture_gallery.html


That web page is off the scale on the gross-o-meter.

[benyl]

Originally posted by GTS Jeff

As for your claims that shit gets caked on, as I said, when that happens, you'll develop an abscess pretty quick. Now since those aren't too common, I think it's a good guess that what you're saying is in fact not true at all.

Dear Dr GTS Jeff,

I ate some birthday cake on Saturday that had very dark icing and turned my lips and tongue blue.

This morning, my shit was also blue. Is this the caked on type shit you are talking about?

Thanks,

an avid reader.

[sputnik]

Originally posted by JWL
They told me that in one session some people lose 1-3 lbs due to fecal matter. They also told me when Elvis died, they found that he had 25lbs of fecal matter in him (I don't know if that's true or not, but it grossed me out!) They told me a lot of interesting facts and about their educational background, etc.

Looks like someone got their facts mixed up with their email myths.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/fecalcolon.asp

[GTS Jeff]

Originally posted by benyl


Dear Dr GTS Jeff,

I ate some birthday cake on Saturday that had very dark icing and turned my lips and tongue blue.

This morning, my shit was also blue. Is this the caked on type shit you are talking about?

Thanks,

an avid reader. Dear Avid,

The blue is a toxin. Toxins are evil spirits that live inside your body and can only be exorcised by birthday cakes. The fact that the icing was blue is just a coincidence.

[xrayvsn]

Originally posted by GTS Jeff
Dear Avid,

The blue is a toxin. Toxins are evil spirits that live inside your body and can only be exorcised by birthday cakes. The fact that the icing was blue is just a coincidence.

I once learned that birthday cakes can exorcise even the purple evil spirits, but you can't buy any birthday cake. It has to be the holistic fully organic birthday cake. Is that also true? I can never tell who to believe on the internet, but you seem trustworthy.

[Darkane]

Originally posted by GTS Jeff


LOL, I'll need the whole salt shaker to read that. Psyllium isn't some sort of natural medical wonder. It's a bulk forming laxative. Basically, it's just a fiber that absorbs water like mad, forming bulky stools. When it draws water out of the intestine and expands, it causes peristaltic movements. In other words, all it does is stimulate normal shitting and most of what you shit out is water soaked psyllium.

And btw, if you want psyllium, stop paying for those expensive "natural" marketed stuff, just buy some METAMUCIL. Sounds pretty stupid to be taking Metamucil for no reason at all eh? :rofl: :rofl:

As for your claims that shit gets caked on, as I said, when that happens, you'll develop an abscess pretty quick. Now since those aren't too common, I think it's a good guess that what you're saying is in fact not true at all.

Fair enough. I bought it for 4$ a pound. Cheap as fuck. But in my particular case it works great because of the high Protein diet I'm on. non-soluble Fibre :thumbsup:

[icecreamvan]

I've been to three hutterite colonies and still have been unable to find this demon exorcising cake. Someone please tell me where. I see World B. Free dunking my head everytime I close my eyes. :(

[GTS Jeff]

Originally posted by xrayvsn


I once learned that birthday cakes can exorcise even the purple evil spirits, but you can't buy any birthday cake. It has to be the holistic fully organic birthday cake. Is that also true? I can never tell who to believe on the internet, but you seem trustworthy. Dear Xra,

Be careful when buying holistic birthday cake. Sometimes it is marketed as holistic when it's not. Make sure it is made with real hutterite chickens.

[GTS Jeff]

Originally posted by Darkane


Fair enough. I bought it for 4$ a pound. Cheap as fuck. But in my particular case it works great because of the high Protein diet I'm on. non-soluble Fibre :thumbsup: Sorry for being a dick.

[benyl]

Originally posted by GTS Jeff
Dear Avid,

The blue is a toxin. Toxins are evil spirits that live inside your body and can only be exorcised by birthday cakes. The fact that the icing was blue is just a coincidence.

Damn Dr GTS Jeff,

My shit was still blue this morning. Do you think I need a colon cleanse?

Pooping smurfs.

[GTS Jeff]

Originally posted by benyl


Damn Dr GTS Jeff,

My shit was still blue this morning. Do you think I need a colon cleanse?

Pooping smurfs. Hmm, it's probably a bent spine that's keeping the evil toxins in, visit a chiropractor.

[three.eighteen.]

Jeff,

What can I eat to make stool like the ones from that colon cleanse site?

[GTS Jeff]

Originally posted by three.eighteen.
Jeff,

What can I eat to make stool like the ones from that colon cleanse site? Metamucil. :thumbsup: