Advice how to advice my brother...

[anschutz_92]

Harden the fuck up!!?

-Whiny/sulky bitch
-sucks balls at school/won't try
-lazy
-false sense of entitlement
-kind of a prick/bully

What do I do? He is a polar opposite of me (well actually he is pretty much like me, minus the drive which would fix most of his issues). You can't say anything to the kid because he will just shut down and sulk. I'm unemployed/(unemschooled?) until the fourth and need to get my family back on track. During the last three weeks of exams I almost freaked shit on everyone because of all the stress/tension getting thrown around the house (and it's a good thing I didn't, I still owe my parents a new door and my finger has a huge scar from the last time I lost it). Not to mention all these retarded arguments they are having over the same shit, every single week. Stressed out Engg student was stressed.


I know I'm an extremely judgmental person and a bit arrogant, but there is no way I was this messed up when I 16.

-He expects my parents to buy him a car (A turbo rx7... LOL) using the guise of "Oh, i'll use it to go to the gym" (my parents fancy themselves fitness fanatics). I worked 25-30 hrs/week during HS to afford my vehicles (and you know what... the feeling was awesome when you started with 5k in your account and reached the 8,10, 15k mark, saving all your money from your shitty job to go buy some pussywagon), I would have never dreamed of asking for money towards one. I probably would have had no problem getting 10k towards a vehicle if I asked... But F-me who wants a free ride?

-He licks dick at school. Self explanatory. Obviously he's f-ing around, how do I tell him he is a loser? There is no excuse not to get Merit, hell I didn't even try to get Honors and I had the worst attendance in the school for a while. Now I wouldn't have any problem if he was willing to be a blue collar worker (mechanic, welder, ect...) But no, all I hear about is how he is going to get a scholarship to play basketball for some US college because he is the leading scorer on his HS team. LOLwut, he's 6"1... short whiteboi is short. Maybe I should drop him off in Hobema and show him what a real winner you can become if you don't give a fuck about anything.

-Stupid shit that shows lack of morals. "Hustling" fake clothing. Hanging out with the local "ufc crew". Just today he came home with an XXGB Ipod touch. His explaination... he found it at school... Um found?... Ohhh so you mean it's stolen, or legitimately found it and just didn't turn it into the office. I don't believe he stole it, but who knows. I'm just going to overlook this. Maybe I'm a little more honest than most, but the correct thing to do would have been to turn it in to the office, and tell them that if no one claims it you will either take it back or burn the whole bitch down (referring to the School here... and the Secretary). That's just me.



Do I do anything? Do I let him figure life out on his own? You look and there are so many losers in the world, I don't want my brother to be one of them.

[berbatov]

This is your brother. You're an asshole

[Boat]

If hes like that you already failed as a brother.

[D_2K]

get off your high horse :whocares:

[sk65guy]

shit that sounds alot like me when i was in high school i like to think i turned out fine, working hard to get a degree in something that i like. In your case i wouldn't worry to much everyone goes through that "high school" phase where you think your a badass gangster and your untouchable. As long as he gets good enough marks to make it to a decent post secondary school your fine, and he'll also lose all those gangster wannabe friends because most of them won't even make it anywhere else after high school. So stress not i think your blowing this up to be bigger than it really is.

just my 0.02$ :nut: ;)

[topmade]

There is usually one like that in every family. I have two and my wife has one. You are bringing on stress yourself. Don't worry about him, he's grown up and will make his own decisions whether you like them or not. Instead of being such an arrogant asshole to him, try being supportive and he might start listen to you.

[acura_el]

I hate to point this out but your entire post sounds like you're bullying him around. Granted, he's probably a bit of a dumbass (afterall, what 16 year old isn't?), but the best way you can straighten him up is by being a positive role model, not by putting him down.

If he has someone to look up to, he might stop being a moron. :dunno:

[gen2teggy]

ura drama queen

[Kloubek]

First, it sounds like you might not exactly be the best role model yourself. How can you possibly gripe at him for being a lazy shit when you're unemployed yourself? I don't know the circumstances of your unemployment, but at least wait until you get another job before you start bitching at him.

Second, he's a young punk. It's cool that you're trying to get him on the right track, but keep in mind you should consider this a "phase" he is going through, as opposed to constantly degrading his actual being.

Finally - and this is the big one - this is NOT YOUR JOB. It's is your parent's responsibility to raise their children. Aid your parents however you can, but THEY are the authority figure; not you.

[mazdavirgin]

Originally posted by anschutz_92

-Whiny/sulky bitch
-sucks balls at school/won't try
-lazy
-false sense of entitlement
-kind of a prick/bully

During the last three weeks of exams I almost freaked shit on everyone because of all the stress/tension getting thrown around the house (and it's a good thing I didn't, I still owe my parents a new door and my finger has a huge scar from the last time I lost it). Not to mention all these retarded arguments they are having over the same shit, every single week. Stressed out Engg student was stressed.

:facepalm: Read your post and tell me 3/4 of your complaints don't apply to yourself.

PS: We are all glad you punch holes through doors when you are stressed. Maybe try having more self control instead of being an idiot and trashing your parents house.

[timdog]

i was going to say, punching through doors is really setting a good example

[RYS13]

Despite all the harsh criticisms you have received, I think it's admirable that you care enough about your brother to ask for help. Here are some of my suggestions even though some are repetitious:

1. Be a better role model
2. Understand that he is still young and going through a stage of rebellion and defiance. The more you push them to do something against their will, the more they will resist it and this can manifest itself through poor academic performance and petty crime.
3. Try to be more of a friend and less of an older brother/parent. Maybe take him out with you and your friends. Often, our personalities and mentalities are designated by the company we keep. By hanging around with more positivie role models - assuming you and your friends are - he will begin to change his perception.

Although this is a "phase" that I'm sure many of us went through, unfortunately some don't come out of this phase. And the older they get, the harder it becomes to change their ways which makes the next few years crucial. I would also suggest that you speak to your parents and ask that they stop spoiling him. (I don't think I have to explain the detrimental effects of spoiling on a youth.)

I hope this has helped and best of luck to you and your family.

[anschutz_92]

Originally posted by timdog
i was going to say, punching through doors is really setting a good example
Thanks. I do have a bit of an anger problem, but I do keep it contained most of the time. Just like everyone I have my limits.


Originally posted by Kloubek
How can you possibly gripe at him for being a lazy shit when you're unemployed yourself? I don't know the circumstances of your unemployment, but at least wait until you get another job before you start bitching at him.

I'm an engineering student and wrote my last exam on the 25th. I feel that I deserve a week off. If you really want to get technical I've been unemployed since January :nut:


I actually have done/said nothing, to either my parents or my brother at this point. It is unfair to say that I have been speaking down to my brother all this time. I'm normally out of the house 14-15hrs/day, it was only now when I'm home and awake more than 3 hours/night that I really noticed how bad things had gotten.

With school, he isn't retarded, he just doesn't do anything. My parents tell him to study, he goes locks himself away in his room and plays PS3. At some point he is going to realize how much harder things are when don't do good in highschool. Then at the minimum he is going to end up wasting a year of his life having to upgrade. Time is more valuable than money, and a year is a long time to waste.

I want nothing but success for my brother, but he seems set against this (at least set against 'the easy way'). I never really had a teenage rebellious phase, mine was more so in Elementry/Early Jr High and to be honest it was my friends and not my parents who broke me out of it.

[berbatov]

Jokes aside, it seems you did not even talk to him

You treat him like a stranger ... and you should be his role model

[max_boost]

Your brother will come around. Just be there for him when the time comes.

[SOAB]

you need to spend more time with him. period.

take him out, go shoot pool, whatever. families that play together, stay together.

[sdiep]

Bitching to him isn't going to help. He will just be pissed off and not listen even more.

[goat_killer]

Hit him... it's like anything in life. If you love it you will hit it.

[hassanc21]

Originally posted by anschutz_92
Harden the fuck up!!?


-He licks dick at school. Self explanatory. Obviously he's f-ing around, how do I tell him he is a loser? There is no excuse not to get Merit, hell I didn't even try to get Honors and I had the worst attendance in the school for a while. Now I wouldn't have any problem if he was willing to be a blue collar worker (mechanic, welder, ect...) But no, all I hear about is how he is going to get a scholarship to play basketball for some US college because he is the leading scorer on his HS team. LOLwut, he's 6"1... short whiteboi is short. Maybe I should drop him off in Hobema and show him what a real winner you can become if you don't give a fuck about anything.

Do I do anything? Do I let him figure life out on his own? You look and there are so many losers in the world, I don't want my brother to be one of them.

If he's really that good of a player there is still the US college route available at his size. However, it will be at smaller colleges that don't have as much money to give out for scholarships. Let him know they compensate for this with academic scholarships if he has the grades.

Or take it a step further, contact a few coaches of colleges in the U.S. with some game film of him. Get an opinion on his ability that matters, and then he'll have an idea of what he needs to do.
Maybe that'll motivate him and wake him up.

As for being an older brother, be his brother and look out for him and be there for him. Let him know when he does good or bad, but leave the parenting to your parents.

Good Luck