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freshprince1
10-06-2009, 08:45 AM
Normally I wouldn't bother posting a scammer email, but this one was kind of funny.

I have my 2002 Maxima up for sale, great condition by the way ;), and have gotten the standard scammer replies. But this one I liked, so here is his email, and my first response:

Scammer, Captain Carlos Bruno


Hello, I like the vehicle you posted on the autotrader.ca, and i am interested to buy, please let me know your final selling price and the latest condition of the vehicle, more pictures if any but not much necessary. Then i would like to have more business relationship with you, sequel to your response to this email, i need a serious minded partner so that we can proceed immediately. email: [email protected] I await your response. Captain Carlos Bruno

My response:


I am not interested in a business relationship, I am trying to sell my car. So if you are interested in the Maxima, please let me know when you would like to come see it and I would be happy to answer all of your questions. Otherwise, stop wasting my time. The price is listed in the add and so are the pictures.

And for the record, the only Captain I would enter a business relationship with would be Captain Crunch, as his business model is incontestable and proven over time, plus the tangible benefits of co-equal business relations with Capt Crunch far outweigh anything you could offer me.



I'm not sure how Capt Crunch is actually doing these days, but I thought it sounded funny, so I went with it.

He'll probably not respond, but I'll provide the update if he does. Or we can just close the thread if I'm the only one that thought this was kind of funny. Maybe the long work days are getting to me.




UPDATE: OCTOBER 7, 10:20PM

So I wasn't really expecting a response, but this gem was waiting for me in my inbox last night. Gotta hand it to this guy, at least he's creative!

I haven't penned a response yet, I need to think of something good. Any ideas?



Hello,

Hello,

I am very glad to receive the information of your Vehicle but i will like to confide in you as regards to a business proposal i would want us to work together like blood brothers. I am a war veteran with the United Nations troop in Afghanistan, on war against terrorism. I served in the 1st Armored Division in Kabul.

Based on the United States legislative and executive decision for withdrawing troops from Afghanistan come next year, I have been redeployed to come and work in Canada on the platform of North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) soon. Our mission is to help beef up terrorist targeted states, mostly the United States and the European Union on the war against terrorism. I will need a Vehicle for myself and to SET UP CONTRUCTION COMPANY AND OTHER INVESTMENT and that is why I contacted you.

On the other hand, i would like to inform you that i have in my possession the sum of 16.2 million U.S. dollars. Which i made from crude oil here in Afghanistan. I deposited this money with a Red Cross agent informed him that we will contact the real owner of the money. It is under my power to approve who is eligible for this money.

I would invest the money in Canada as soon as you agree to keep this fund safe in Canada for business and other investment purposes through you, but you will advise me on that because i am not a business culture person. I can not move this money into the United States, because i will be in Canada for about 4 years, so i need someone i could trust. If you accept,i will move the fund to Europe, where you will be the beneficiary, because i am a uniformed person and i can not parade such an amount, so i need to present someone as the recipient. I'm an American and an officer for intelligence, that i have a 100% authentic means of transferring the money through diplomatic courier Service. I just need your acceptance, and everything is done. Please, if you are interested in this transaction, i give you the complete details you need for us to implement this transaction successfully. I decided to contact someone i could trust and real and not imaginary, and that is why i went to a safe place in the car web i can be sure that the person is real.
I think i can trust you, where we are now we can only communicate through our military facilities, communication is secured, so nobody can monitor our e-mails, then i can explain in details to you. I will only reach you by e-mail, because our Calls might be monitored, i have to be sure, i have to deal with someone i could trust. If you are interested, please send me your personal mobile number so that the diplomat in London UK can call you for inquiries and how to bring the box that contain my money to you. If you are not interested, do not respond to this e-mail and delete this Message if no response after 3 days, i will then search for someone else.

I wait for your contact information details, so that we can go on. In less than 4 days the box should be in your possession, and i will come for my money. I will give you 30% of the total and 70% for me. I hope i have been fair to this deal. Get back to me with your full information:

Your full name ..............................................
Your full address .......................................
Your direct phone number ................

Regards,

Capt Carlos Bruno.

adam c
10-06-2009, 08:50 AM
you handled it all wrong

Mar
10-06-2009, 08:57 AM
I love the scammer phone calls. I always have banks calling me to tell me I'm pre approved for loans and they ask me what I'd do if I had an extra $5000 to spend. My recent responses have been hookers and blow but I think next time I'll thank them for letting me keep my thumbs as I owe a lot of very important people a lot of money. :)

scat19
10-06-2009, 09:17 AM
I never was a capt. crunch kind of guy. More a reeses pieces or cinamon toast crunch guy. :drool:

J NRG
10-06-2009, 09:39 AM
.

Hamann
10-06-2009, 09:40 AM
Hahaha thats awesome :rofl:

gretz
10-06-2009, 10:05 AM
Originally posted by J NRG
I was expecting captain morgan but hey if fruity rainbowy things are your style, power to you! :rofl:

Fruity rainbowy = captain crunch?....lol @ your sig

freshprince1
10-06-2009, 10:40 AM
Originally posted by J NRG
I was expecting captain morgan but hey if fruity rainbowy things are your style, power to you! :rofl:

http://static-resources.goodguide.com/images/entities/all/226937.jpg



I think you might be thinking of Froot Loops or Fruity Pebbles??

But hey, if rainbows and fruity things are the first things that come to your mind, power to you!

beyond_ban
10-06-2009, 10:43 AM
Originally posted by freshprince1
But hey, if rainbows and fruity things are the first things that come to your mind, power to you!

:rofl:

Mar
10-06-2009, 11:20 AM
I don't think Fruity Pebbles exist anymore. I tried to find those and Count Chocula, it seems there aren't any good cereals anymore. Superstore has about 30 square feet of good cereal shelf real estate and then about 2000 square feet of fiber and Fruity-O crap. WTF happened to the good stuff?

freshprince1
10-06-2009, 11:26 AM
Originally posted by Mar
WTF happened to the good stuff?

Two words, Reese Puffs.

Mar
10-06-2009, 01:07 PM
Originally posted by freshprince1


Two words, Reese Puffs.
:thumbsup: That's what I ended up buying last night! Not much else to choose from though.

KrisYYC
10-06-2009, 01:19 PM
Honey Combs, Corn Pops, Coco Puffs, Sugar Crisp, Captain Crunch etc.

Those were the best, I think Corn Pops and Captain Crunch still exist.

freshprince1
10-07-2009, 08:33 AM
Check out the latest email from Captain Bruno!



Hello,

I am very glad to receive the information of your Vehicle but i will like to confide in you as regards to a business proposal i would want us to work together like blood brothers. I am a war veteran with the United Nations troop in Afghanistan, on war against terrorism. I served in the 1st Armored Division in Kabul.

Based on the United States legislative and executive decision for withdrawing troops from Afghanistan come next year, I have been redeployed to come and work in Canada on the platform of North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) soon. Our mission is to help beef up terrorist targeted states, mostly the United States and the European Union on the war against terrorism. I will need a Vehicle for myself and to SET UP CONTRUCTION COMPANY AND OTHER INVESTMENT and that is why I contacted you.

On the other hand, i would like to inform you that i have in my possession the sum of 16.2 million U.S. dollars. Which i made from crude oil here in Afghanistan. I deposited this money with a Red Cross agent informed him that we will contact the real owner of the money. It is under my power to approve who is eligible for this money.

I would invest the money in Canada as soon as you agree to keep this fund safe in Canada for business and other investment purposes through you, but you will advise me on that because i am not a business culture person. I can not move this money into the United States, because i will be in Canada for about 4 years, so i need someone i could trust. If you accept,i will move the fund to Europe, where you will be the beneficiary, because i am a uniformed person and i can not parade such an amount, so i need to present someone as the recipient. I'm an American and an officer for intelligence, that i have a 100% authentic means of transferring the money through diplomatic courier Service. I just need your acceptance, and everything is done. Please, if you are interested in this transaction, i give you the complete details you need for us to implement this transaction successfully. I decided to contact someone i could trust and real and not imaginary, and that is why i went to a safe place in the car web i can be sure that the person is real.
I think i can trust you, where we are now we can only communicate through our military facilities, communication is secured, so nobody can monitor our e-mails, then i can explain in details to you. I will only reach you by e-mail, because our Calls might be monitored, i have to be sure, i have to deal with someone i could trust. If you are interested, please send me your personal mobile number so that the diplomat in London UK can call you for inquiries and how to bring the box that contain my money to you. If you are not interested, do not respond to this e-mail and delete this Message if no response after 3 days, i will then search for someone else.

I wait for your contact information details, so that we can go on. In less than 4 days the box should be in your possession, and i will come for my money. I will give you 30% of the total and 70% for me. I hope i have been fair to this deal. Get back to me with your full information:

Your full name ..............................................
Your full address .......................................
Your direct phone number ................

Regards,

Capt Carlos Bruno.

spikerS
10-07-2009, 09:07 AM
sigh, how many threads do we need on the same type of emails?

Mar
10-07-2009, 09:20 AM
Wait until you get another scammer and give them each others' phone numbers.

almerick
10-07-2009, 10:07 AM
Originally posted by KrisYYC
Honey Combs, Corn Pops, Coco Puffs, Sugar Crisp, Captain Crunch etc.

Those were the best, I think Corn Pops and Captain Crunch still exist.

I think honey combs are still up, coco puffs and sugar crisp are in the states only :( had some when I was in hawaii

J NRG
10-07-2009, 02:42 PM
.

almerick
10-07-2009, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by J NRG
oops. :D

Ya i was never into the candy-cereals.

Actually you may be correct J NRG, they had a limited berries cereal at one point

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ryjeQZjPZME/STAUpPOdutI/AAAAAAAAANM/0c2gbd6wiDY/s400/Captain+Crunch+Box.JPG

Pahnda
10-07-2009, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by scammer bruno
Your full name ..............................................
Your full address .......................................
Your direct phone number ................

What the fuck is with the periods... He expecting you to use them to write on directly? If he is, he's still dumb because underscores rock the shit out of periods any day.

Pahnda
10-07-2009, 02:52 PM
double post ninja edit

Mar
10-07-2009, 03:05 PM
Originally posted by almerick


I think honey combs are still up, coco puffs and sugar crisp are in the states only :( had some when I was in hawaii Sugar Crisp is here, I eat it all the time. In the USA it's called Golden Crisp though, I guess they don't want to feed their kids anything with sugar in the title.