Best Valentines Day Breakup

[swak]

Found on REDDIT LINK (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/b2ayj/i_caught_her_cheating_and_got_revenge_on/)

**Its long, but also a damn good read.
---------------------
Basically, I asked REDDIT to help me think of a way to get justice while dumping my girlfriend. I never expected the huge response I got, and I sincerely thank everyone for responding. I read every single comment. Almost everything I did was a suggestion I got from you all.

The top suggestion was to just walk away, rise above everything, forget about revenge and suddenly disappear from her life forever. I thought about this seriously for a long time, but finally decided to listen to the only part that matters in that plan: having it be over and then never seeing or talking to her again. Disappearing would mean her trying to contact me for days, and I wanted it to just be over and see the look on her face. Believe it or not, but guys need closure too.

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED AS BEST AS I CAN REMEMBER:
I decided that Valentine's Day was the perfect day to go through with it, but since I'd caught her cheating last week I hadn't thought to get reservations anywhere. Thanks to a fellow redditor, I managed to get a spot for us at a really nice restaurant by the lake (I live in Austin). I told my girlfriend that I'd come over to her apartment before we went out and make some drinks while she got ready.

I had already packed all of her stuff from my own apartment, including the expensive face cream she keeps (and yeah, I jerked off into it so she'll be wearing my facial everyday for months, it was an idea inspired by one of the comments here). I put all of her crap in a travel bag and drove over to her apartment. I left the bag in the car and went in. She busted out some glasses and bottles of liquor for me to make drinks and then got in the shower. While she was in there, I grabbed the bag from my car and put it in her closet. I also hid a 3-pack of condoms in the bag but only left two rubbers in it. She'll probably find them, think I left them accidentally and always wonder if I cheated on her-- we lost our virginity to eachother and never used condoms.
She was still in the shower during this time and I grabbed her cellphone and deleted myself from it. I also looked up "Theo" in her contacts and changed his phone number to mine, for later. After that, I made her a vodka sprite and spit in it a few times. I had a big shot of vodka and waited for her, and when she was dressed we had our drinks. I hate to admit it but she looked really good, so I talked her into giving me some oral as a "warmup for tonight". A lot of the comments told me I should tap it one last time, and I agreed. I made her gag "accidentally" a few times right in the same spot I'd seen her blowing the other guy.

When I was done, I told her that my car was acting funny, so we should take hers instead. I drove us to the restaurant.
This was the part of the date that was supposed to be perfect. We had dinner and wine and I went out of my way to make everything seem normal, giving her the perfect Valentine's dinner. We talked about vacations we'd taken together and how we'd like to go back, I brought up old memories and made her laugh. I asked her where she wanted to be in five years, and she said hopefully married by then. It was hard at times but I was already committed to finishing it.

We were done eating so I excused myself to the bathroom to wash my hands. From there, I made a call to my best friend and told him to pick me up in half an hour. That's all the time I was ever going to give the heartless bitch again.

I came out of the bathroom and paid the bill (give me SOME credit for being a gentleman still) and suggested we take a walk along the lake. THANKS AGAIN to the redditor, because this turned out to be perfect. There was a little dock nearby and we stood on it, and my hands were shaking but I finally called her out.
I asked her if there was anything she wanted to tell me. She looked confused and played it off very well, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I probably would have believed her. I let her lie to me and then told her that I knew about Theo, that she'd accidentally called me and I'd caught them fucking around. I told her I'd found him on facebook and seen his fucking bragging updates. While I was telling her this, she started bawling, and I've gotta admit that I was crying a little too. But I kept going and told her how much she'd hurt me, and that I'd been throwing up all week and sick about it. The only thing she kept saying was that she was sorry, the rest of the time she was crying and almost hyperventaling. She would try to interrupt but I kept telling her to let me finish.

I wasn't too sure if I was gonna do this part of the plan but I had nothing else to lose so I said fuck it. I told her that I honestly believed she was the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with (which was true) and pulled out a jewelry ring box from my coat. I'd gotten it the day before for about $15 in the same gas station as the condoms. I didn't open the box because the ring looked totally cheap, but I told my girlfriend I'd had it for awhile but wasn't going to need it anymore. I threw the box into the lake and it totally looked real because of the tears in my eyes.
She hadn't stopped crying this whole time and was pulling at me and begging me to listen to her and let her talk, over and over again. I don't know how else to describe it, she was having a total feakout and I decided it was the perfect time to walk away.
I told her there was nothing to talk about and nothing she could say-- I never wanted to see her again or talk to her. I told her that I'd left a bag of her stuff in her closet, and if she left anything else to have a friend come get it. I even mentioned that I'd noticed a "bump on me" and was going to the doctor this week and suggested she do the same. I made it clear that this was the last time we would ever talk to eachother, and then gave her the keys to her car back and said "goodbye". She tried to hug me and kept saying "forgive me" but I knew better and backed off.

I walked away and left her there at the dock. My friend was waiting outside the restaurant, and I got in the car with him and went to pick up my car back at her place. While we were on the way, I followed through with the last part of my plan: I sent her a txt message, which she would now think was from Theo since I'd switched numbers. It said, "wtf, your boyfriend emailed me and knows about us. i dont want this drama, don't call or txt me again. seriously." She still hasn't written back.

Yeah, she'll eventually figure it out and think I'm immature, but I honestly don't give a shit anymore. The person who suggested the txt message plan was right-- it's like she got dumped TWICE on Valentine's Day, and you can't say she doesn't deserve it.
So there it is. I did it and actually feel relieved, but a little in shock now. This has literally been the worst week of my life, and I'm not sure how I'll handle it. But I'm glad that I reached out, even if it was to strangers. I can't thank you enough for the majority of you out there being helpful and understanding.

And if all this makes me a dick, I'm prepared to live with it. At least I did something and didn't just get trampled and pitied.

[Tik-Tok]

http://www.ghowto.com/images/gold.jpg



I especially like the ring into the lake part, lol.

[prae]

thats a fuckton of effort over a cheating whore. I would have just walked away.

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by prae
thats a fuckton of effort over a cheating whore. I would have just walked away.

Wasn't just a cheating whore though, was a 5 year, virgin busting cheating whore. You walk away on a <1 year relationship, anything more deserves some effort.

[Jeremiah]

wow fucking awesome

[adidas]

Wall of text

[flipstah]

A lot of effort but kudos on successfully pulling it off! :thumbsup:

[Barking_Spidre]

That is so awesome. :rofl:

[revelations]

THAT.... is just nuts.

[FraserB]

OMG!!!

http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd316/fraserbrown1986/so_much_win_graphic.png

[brucebanner]

That was awesome!

That bitch definately deserves everything he did for revenge.

[A790]

HAHAHA awesome!

[n1zm0]

awesome, the tears, the ring in the lake, the texting in the end, :clap: great story lol

[Cos]

There is some crazy shit on the Internet. That is just so full of win and so real!!!

[Canmorite]

Pure ownage :rofl:

[^^JasmineL^^]

amazing. great job babe. GREAT JOB!

[anarchy]

+1 for ring in the lake FTW

[max_boost]

Brilliant!!!

[rizfarmer]

:rofl: holy fuck. flawless victory

[mowglee]

Excellent read. There is no way I would have been able to think up of anything like this. Kudos for pulling it off so perfectly!

[JMaj7]

I think I gotta do this...sooooon

[BenC]

Haha that's awesome.

[gqmw]

Wow...just wow.

That was a long read...but well worth it.

[Kardon]

Well planned ownage.

[CUG]

Stellar work by the man. A+

[nykz]

Very interesting read, planned out really well, glad he went with it too!

[TomcoPDR]

Originally posted by nykz
Very interesting read, planned out really well, glad he went with it too!

Would had been nicer if he posted nudes of said gf

[Graham_A_M]

I think I'll be saving this one. That was just pure awesome.
:thumbsup: :bigpimp:

[blackpeople]

That was freakin epic :D Loved every minute of it.
Bitch deserves it:rofl:

[sk65guy]

LEGEND

[bubbley]

damn i was waiting for the "then i threw the b*tch in the lake"
:rofl:

[signature7]

Originally posted by bubbley
damn i was waiting for the &quot;then i threw the b*tch in the lake&quot;
:rofl:

I thought he would too, or kicked her into the lake ala "this is sparta" 300 style.

This way though, when she becomes a petty bitch, she can't really do shit.

[boarderfatty]

My friend and I did something similar with his ex, she really didn't do anything to deserve it, but she was dumb and annoying.

It started last summer when My best friend decided he needed to break up with his girlfriend, and we decided that new years eve was the night for it. Being his best friend his GF would always ask me for advice about the relationship etc. And I started planting the idea that a proposal was in the near future.

Getting closer to New Years she thought everything was going perfect in the relationship, and I was hinting towards a New Years proposal, she was getting very excited. Then I announced that I was going to Vancouver to stay with them over the Christmas vacation. I told her that I was going to be there for New Years on the water front, and that there was a reason I was bringing a video camera, because my friend was planning on making it a memorable night.

New Years eve arrived and we had made sure that she had found the jewlery box with ring inside it earlier that day (we bought it and made sure the store had a good return policy lol) Later that night we were at the water front waiting for the countdown and fireworks, things were getting steamy between the two and I was filming everything.

Then the count down came, my friend got down on his knee, everyone around was looking, his GF was weeping, then he got up, said this is my new years resolution, and walks away, and I got it all on camera. it was priceless, the look on her face, she then broke down, and I felt kinda bad but what ever it was pretty funny.

Unfortunately karma caught up with my friend hard. Just over two years before the breakup they had first started dating while working in fort mac. My friend bought a place in Vancouver, and since she was fired 3 weeks after getting hired and going back to her home in Vancouver, my friend asked her to set up his new place in vancouver and gave her a very healthy budget for furnishings.

He had owned the place for 6mths before he even visited his house. when he got there he had noticed that his GF had moved a few items into the place, but nowhere near all her stuff, she had said she spent the occasional night at his place when her and her parents were on the outs, whatever. after a few months he thought they officially move in together and things started heading south. When they finally broke up she claimed common law. He said like fawk, we have been living together for like a year, and the house is in my name, and it was my 600k that paid for it not yours. Then she replied ya, but you bought the place two years ago and I changed my address to it when you bought it, and have been living there as your dependent, having supporting me, paying all the bills since.

So she took half his clear title house in North Van, and one of his vehicles lol. he was a little choked

[hash]

^ seems like your buddy deserved it.

[bubbley]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
My friend and I did something similar with his ex, she really didn't do anything to deserve it, but she was dumb and annoying.

It started last summer when My best friend decided he needed to break up with his girlfriend, and we decided that new years eve was the night for it. Being his best friend his GF would always ask me for advice about the relationship etc. And I started planting the idea that a proposal was in the near future.

Getting closer to New Years she thought everything was going perfect in the relationship, and I was hinting towards a New Years proposal, she was getting very excited. Then I announced that I was going to Vancouver to stay with them over the Christmas vacation. I told her that I was going to be there for New Years on the water front, and that there was a reason I was bringing a video camera, because my friend was planning on making it a memorable night.

New Years eve arrived and we had made sure that she had found the jewlery box with ring inside it earlier that day (we bought it and made sure the store had a good return policy lol) Later that night we were at the water front waiting for the countdown and fireworks, things were getting steamy between the two and I was filming everything.

Then the count down came, my friend got down on his knee, everyone around was looking, his GF was weeping, then he got up, said this is my new years resolution, and walks away, and I got it all on camera. it was priceless, the look on her face, she then broke down, and I felt kinda bad but what ever it was pretty funny.

Unfortunately karma caught up with my friend hard. Just over two years before the breakup they had first started dating while working in fort mac. My friend bought a place in Vancouver, and since she was fired 3 weeks after getting hired and going back to her home in Vancouver, my friend asked her to set up his new place in vancouver and gave her a very healthy budget for furnishings.

He had owned the place for 6mths before he even visited his house. when he got there he had noticed that his GF had moved a few items into the place, but nowhere near all her stuff, she had said she spent the occasional night at his place when her and her parents were on the outs, whatever. after a few months he thought they officially move in together and things started heading south. When they finally broke up she claimed common law. He said like fawk, we have been living together for like a year, and the house is in my name, and it was my 600k that paid for it not yours. Then she replied ya, but you bought the place two years ago and I changed my address to it when you bought it, and have been living there as your dependent, having supporting me, paying all the bills since.

So she took half his clear title house in North Van, and one of his vehicles lol. he was a little choked

Serves the idiot right :clap:

[guessboi]

wow. well planned. sucks for the cheating but good job.

[baygirl]

Originally posted by boarderfatty



Unfortunately karma caught up with my friend hard.
So she took half his clear title house in North Van, and one of his vehicles lol. he was a little choked
I love karma. Sounds like he got exactly what he deserved.

[swak]

^^ That is HARSH!!!

One of the main reasons i want to stay single until i know for sure.
Heard many stories like this. Sucks sooo bad!!

[adidas]

boarderfatty's story was much better then the original!

Im still laughing!

[max_boost]

HAHA wow, 2 classic stories in this thread. Yeah that's a tough one, consider it a heads up for you guys. Failing to plan is planning to fail haha Shit can go south anytime. If she's not putting her fair share into it, you better structure your finances in a way where she ends up with dick all. Consider your options and govern yourselves accordingly hahaha :D

[TomcoPDR]

Originally posted by max_boost
HAHA wow, 2 classic stories in this thread. Yeah that's a tough one, consider it a heads up for you guys. Failing to plan is planning to fail haha Shit can go south anytime. If she's not putting her fair share into it, you better structure your finances in a way where she ends up with dick all. Consider your options and govern yourselves accordingly hahaha :D

This man sounds like experience

[Zewind]

Harsh, never letting a GF move in with me

[boarderfatty]

That is why we are planning on getting gay married together. That way he is able to claim me as a dependent for tax purposes while I am going back to school, and even if we have live in girlfriends, it is hard for them to claim common law when we are already married. We plan to live the life of gay-married strait bachelors

[gqmw]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
That is why we are planning on getting gay married together. That way he is able to claim me as a dependent for tax purposes while I am going back to school, and even if we have live in girlfriends, it is hard for them to claim common law when we are already married. We plan to live the life of gay-married strait bachelors

Lololol nice story

[scat19]

:bigpimp:

[SilverGS]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
My friend and I did something similar with his ex, she really didn't do anything to deserve it, but she was dumb and annoying.

It started last summer when My best friend decided he needed to break up with his girlfriend, and we decided that new years eve was the night for it. Being his best friend his GF would always ask me for advice about the relationship etc. And I started planting the idea that a proposal was in the near future.

Getting closer to New Years she thought everything was going perfect in the relationship, and I was hinting towards a New Years proposal, she was getting very excited. Then I announced that I was going to Vancouver to stay with them over the Christmas vacation. I told her that I was going to be there for New Years on the water front, and that there was a reason I was bringing a video camera, because my friend was planning on making it a memorable night.

New Years eve arrived and we had made sure that she had found the jewlery box with ring inside it earlier that day (we bought it and made sure the store had a good return policy lol) Later that night we were at the water front waiting for the countdown and fireworks, things were getting steamy between the two and I was filming everything.

Then the count down came, my friend got down on his knee, everyone around was looking, his GF was weeping, then he got up, said this is my new years resolution, and walks away, and I got it all on camera. it was priceless, the look on her face, she then broke down, and I felt kinda bad but what ever it was pretty funny.

Unfortunately karma caught up with my friend hard. Just over two years before the breakup they had first started dating while working in fort mac. My friend bought a place in Vancouver, and since she was fired 3 weeks after getting hired and going back to her home in Vancouver, my friend asked her to set up his new place in vancouver and gave her a very healthy budget for furnishings.

He had owned the place for 6mths before he even visited his house. when he got there he had noticed that his GF had moved a few items into the place, but nowhere near all her stuff, she had said she spent the occasional night at his place when her and her parents were on the outs, whatever. after a few months he thought they officially move in together and things started heading south. When they finally broke up she claimed common law. He said like fawk, we have been living together for like a year, and the house is in my name, and it was my 600k that paid for it not yours. Then she replied ya, but you bought the place two years ago and I changed my address to it when you bought it, and have been living there as your dependent, having supporting me, paying all the bills since.

So she took half his clear title house in North Van, and one of his vehicles lol. he was a little choked

Oh man that is cruel if she didn't cheat on him. Was she THAT annoying.

Did Karma ever bite him in the ass though.

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by SilverGS


Oh man that is cruel if she didn't cheat on him. Was she THAT annoying.

Did Karma ever bite him in the ass though.

It wasn't that she was just annoying, she was quite dumb, fiscally irresponsible etc. When he gives her a cheque for house upkeep etc and it ends up her nose, you know you arent going anywhere as a couple.

She may have been cheating on him for all we know too, but we could never catch her. It is hard to stay faithful when your rotation is at best 24 and 4 and went as bad as 3mths out of town at a time. I know my friend sure didnt stay faithful during that, that is why I did not use cheating as an excuse

[Unlaced]

http://www.1057thepoint.com/WAR/

[Kloubek]

When reading that, I thought he was going to push her off the dock or something. Would have been fitting.

When my ex fucked some other dude, I thought about doing the fake wedding ring thing too, and tossing it away.

But at the end of the day, I decided that making her feel bad wasn't really going to make ME feel any better about the situation.

Was this immature of the guy to do all this? Sure. But I understand why he did. Each to their own.

[rob the knob]

penthouse letters ftw

[zieg]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
she really didn't do anything to deserve it



Originally posted by boarderfatty
she was dumb



Originally posted by boarderfatty
So she took half his clear title house in North Van, and one of his vehicles



You sure it was the girl that was the dumb one?

[AaronK]

Originally posted by ZiG-87
You sure it was the girl that was the dumb one?

+1

Your buddy is a fuckin moron.

[Dope7]

LMAO:bigpimp:

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by ZiG-87



You sure it was the girl that was the dumb one?

She was dumb in the sense that she had no common sense, she could not maintain any where near an intellectual conversation. She was a beer tub bitch at a club who made decent money in tips ($1500) a week tax free, had no bills except her cell, yet she was in debt, and any money she had was spent on blow and partying etc.

I slept with her about a 1/2 year later she thought it would be a good way to get between me and my friend, my friend and I thought it would be funny for me to stick it in her bum, but thats beside the fact. When I took her to dinner she joked about how she came into the money and said it was her mom (who had previously pulled the gold digger move) and her friends as an insurance policy for her time spent in the relationship.

This was the first of a few encounters I have had with devious mothers. I should have learnt my lesson with my friends experience. My last GF broke up with me because of events that occurred between her mother and I, that the mother actually planned to break us up. fortunately I was not hurt to bad fiscally in this event.

[Critical]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
had no bills except her cell, yet she was in debt, and any money she had was spent on blow and partying etc.

Shes a keeper.

[swak]

Originally posted by boarderfatty

She was dumb in the sense that she had no common sense, she could not maintain any where near an intellectual conversation. She was a beer tub bitch at a club who made decent money in tips ($1500) a week tax free, had no bills except her cell, yet she was in debt, and any money she had was spent on blow and partying etc.

I slept with her about a 1/2 year later she thought it would be a good way to get between me and my friend, my friend and I thought it would be funny for me to stick it in her bum, but thats beside the fact. When I took her to dinner she joked about how she came into the money and said it was her mom (who had previously pulled the gold digger move) and her friends as an insurance policy for her time spent in the relationship.

This was the first of a few encounters I have had with devious mothers. I should have learnt my lesson with my friends experience. My last GF broke up with me because of events that occurred between her mother and I, that the mother actually planned to break us up. fortunately I was not hurt to bad fiscally in this event.

..Best part of the story.

... but +/- $1500/week in grats being a tub girl????
Thats insane.

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by swak


..Best part of the story.

... but +/- $1500/week in grats being a tub girl????
Thats insane.

Well she was better than good looking to say the least, which is why my friend originally dated her. She worked 4 Nights a week at a busy bar where often guys would give her a $20 for a single beer

[Mitsu_Paul]

My hat off to you sir.

[4lti]

Originally posted by boarderfatty

guys would give her a $20 for a single beer

Pretty much your friend tipped her Months of his life and Thousands of dollars.
I hope he enjoyed that beer as much as the guy who tipped $20.00

[Jetta-2.0]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
My friend and I did something similar with his ex, she really didn't do anything to deserve it, but she was dumb and annoying.

It started last summer when My best friend decided he needed to break up with his girlfriend, and we decided that new years eve was the night for it. Being his best friend his GF would always ask me for advice about the relationship etc. And I started planting the idea that a proposal was in the near future.

Getting closer to New Years she thought everything was going perfect in the relationship, and I was hinting towards a New Years proposal, she was getting very excited. Then I announced that I was going to Vancouver to stay with them over the Christmas vacation. I told her that I was going to be there for New Years on the water front, and that there was a reason I was bringing a video camera, because my friend was planning on making it a memorable night.

New Years eve arrived and we had made sure that she had found the jewlery box with ring inside it earlier that day (we bought it and made sure the store had a good return policy lol) Later that night we were at the water front waiting for the countdown and fireworks, things were getting steamy between the two and I was filming everything.

Then the count down came, my friend got down on his knee, everyone around was looking, his GF was weeping, then he got up, said this is my new years resolution, and walks away, and I got it all on camera. it was priceless, the look on her face, she then broke down, and I felt kinda bad but what ever it was pretty funny.

Unfortunately karma caught up with my friend hard. Just over two years before the breakup they had first started dating while working in fort mac. My friend bought a place in Vancouver, and since she was fired 3 weeks after getting hired and going back to her home in Vancouver, my friend asked her to set up his new place in vancouver and gave her a very healthy budget for furnishings.

He had owned the place for 6mths before he even visited his house. when he got there he had noticed that his GF had moved a few items into the place, but nowhere near all her stuff, she had said she spent the occasional night at his place when her and her parents were on the outs, whatever. after a few months he thought they officially move in together and things started heading south. When they finally broke up she claimed common law. He said like fawk, we have been living together for like a year, and the house is in my name, and it was my 600k that paid for it not yours. Then she replied ya, but you bought the place two years ago and I changed my address to it when you bought it, and have been living there as your dependent, having supporting me, paying all the bills since.

So she took half his clear title house in North Van, and one of his vehicles lol. he was a little choked

The video or it didnt happen :guns:

[msommers]

A friend passed this onto me :rofl:

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2010/02/point_morning_show_woody_rizzuto_guy_dumps_girlfriend_point_st_louis_1057.php

[know1edge]

.

[403ep3]

Originally posted by msommers
A friend passed this onto me :rofl:

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2010/02/point_morning_show_woody_rizzuto_guy_dumps_girlfriend_point_st_louis_1057.php

OUCHH, wow that chick got pwnedd

wow i kind of feel bad for her lol