Recommend a lawyer before moving in with girlfriend

[digi355]

The girlfriend and I are building a house together. She’s putting in $X, I’m putting in $Y.

We want something written down that says, we put different amounts in, if living together doesn’t work, we’re entitled to our money back, plus half of whatever the house has appreciated. We're both assuming we'll need a lawyer to handle this?

I know someone had a thread about this, but I couldn’t find it.

Has anyone done this, any recommendations?

[gretz]

Originally posted by digi355
The girlfriend and I are building a house together. She’s putting in $X, I’m putting in $Y.

We want something written down that says, we put different amounts in, if living together doesn’t work, we’re entitled to our money back, plus half of whatever the house has appreciated. We're both assuming we'll need a lawyer to handle this?

I know someone had a thread about this, but I couldn’t find it.

Has anyone done this, any recommendations?

lol... don't do it:dunno:

[Kloubek]

There are free documents online that you can use to do this yourself. You just need a witness. Do a google search for "prenuptual (sp) agreement". In essence, that is what you will be creating due to our stupid common-law rules.

Smart move, BTW.

[Hakkola]

Half? Are you both putting in the same amount?

[G]

If X and Y are different amounts then the amount appreciated should be split by the same ratio too.

To make this easier just put in exactly half each. Make sure both names are on the mortgage and title.

[Kloubek]

Originally posted by Hakkola
Half? Are you both putting in the same amount?

If it would be half, then she'd be putting in X and he'd be putting in X. Furthermore, it would nullify the requirement for such a document.

G: It isn't likely they are in the exact same financial situation, and therefore I'm betting going half and half isn't likely a possibility.

[Hakkola]

Originally posted by Kloubek


If it would be half, then she'd be putting in X and he'd be putting in X. Furthermore, it would nullify the requirement for such a document.


Which is why I was confused by the half and half for appreciation. I can't understand why anyone would agree to this.

[G]

Originally posted by Kloubek


If it would be half, then she'd be putting in X and he'd be putting in X. Furthermore, it would nullify the requirement for such a document.

G: It isn't likely they are in the exact same financial situation, and therefore I'm betting going half and half isn't likely a possibility.

Maybe it isn't the right time to make such a large purchase then? Either marry her, half/half or 100% yourself with a prenup.

But honestly speaking, where are not talking millions here. If you don't trust her with your thousands then maybe you should reevaluate your relationship.

If was easy for me. We both had nothing when we met.

[digi355]

Originally posted by G
If X and Y are different amounts then the amount appreciated should be the same ratio. To make this easier just put in exactly half each. Make sure both names are on the mortgage and title.

I have more of a downpayment than she does because I have equity in the place I live at now.

When we move in, the bills will be spilt in half, both our names are on the title and mortgage.

I’ve thought about the whole, "I put in more than you, so I should get more of a return" scenario, but it’s just not worth it to me.

We built it together, saying I deserve more than her because I have more $ is kind of a douche move. She’s been really good about signing whatever I want to protect what I’m brining in.

At the end of the day, as long as I can walk away with what I brought in, I’m cool.

[G]

Like I said its only a nominal amount of money here. Good on you for having faith in her.



Originally posted by digi355


I have more of a downpayment than she does because I have equity in the place I live at now.

When we move in, the bills will be spilt in half, both our names are on the title and mortgage.

I’ve thought about the whole, "I put in more than you, so I should get more of a return" scenario, but it’s just not worth it to me.

We built it together, saying I deserve more than her because I have more $ is kind of a douche move. She’s been really good about signing whatever I want to protect what I’m brining in.

At the end of the day, as long as I can walk away with what I brought in, I’m cool.

[Neil4Speed]

Originally posted by digi355


I have more of a downpayment than she does because I have equity in the place I live at now.

When we move in, the bills will be spilt in half, both our names are on the title and mortgage.

I’ve thought about the whole, "I put in more than you, so I should get more of a return" scenario, but it’s just not worth it to me.

We built it together, saying I deserve more than her because I have more $ is kind of a douche move. She’s been really good about signing whatever I want to protect what I’m brining in.

At the end of the day, as long as I can walk away with what I brought in, I’m cool.

Would you have a clause put in place in case one of you wants to sell the house? That might not be a bad idea.

I can imagine you trust this girl, people change, and you should be protected in case she wants to cash out and "get to know herself" by backpacking through Thailand for a year, and teach English in Burma.

[rage2]

Originally posted by digi355
The girlfriend and I are building a house together. She’s putting in $X, I’m putting in $Y.

We want something written down that says, we put different amounts in, if living together doesn’t work, we’re entitled to our money back, plus half of whatever the house has appreciated. We're both assuming we'll need a lawyer to handle this?

I know someone had a thread about this, but I couldn’t find it.

Has anyone done this, any recommendations?
In an Adult Interdependent Relationship (AIR, Alberta legal term for common law), what you want is already the standard for property division, so there's nothing you need to do.

It's only 50-50 exact split if you purchased the property when you are married, as that falls under a different set of laws.

[benyl]

Originally posted by G

If you don't trust her with your thousands then maybe you should reevaluate your relationship.

:werd:

[digi355]

Originally posted by rage2

In an Adult Interdependent Relationship (AIR, Alberta legal term for common law), what you want is already the standard for property division, so there's nothing you need to do.

It's only 50-50 exact split if you purchased the property when you are married, as that falls under a different set of laws.

Thanks,

I'll do some reading. Sounds like we don't need a Lawyer after all..

//famous last words..

[HiTempguy1]

Originally posted by Neil4Speed

I can imagine you trust this girl, people change, and you should be protected in case she wants to cash out and "get to know herself" by backpacking through Thailand for a year, and teach English in Burma.

Are you bitter about something? Would you like to talk about it? :rofl: (if you are bitter about something that did happen like that, I apologize in advance).



Originally posted by benyl

:werd:

I don't see how anybody can say these things about trust. I mean really, how many people have seen relationships (people in marriages) and their lives are hell? Poor decision? Sure, but I've seen it plenty of times where chicks change once things get serious/marriage.

Not everyone on Beyond (surprisingly enough) gets to date super models that put up with our expensive car habits and do everything we want while still having a mature, respectable relationship with us (not that this is my case :P )

[Godfuader]

Originally posted by digi355

I’ve thought about the whole, "I put in more than you, so I should get more of a return" scenario, but it’s just not worth it to me.

We built it together, saying I deserve more than her because I have more $ is kind of a douche move.
Haha, if you got to the point of breaking up and selling the place, do you think you will still be such a nice guy? You will probably want to turn into the biggest douche. Good on you for thinking ahead. But, if you are going the formal route, incorporate a proportioned ratio. When shit hits the fan...the gloves will come off on both teams.

[darthVWader]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_interdependent_relationship_in_Alberta

http://www.common-law-separation-canada.com/alberta.htm

[Sugarphreak]

...

[Crymson]

That interesting, about the AIR.

So basically, if you've lived with the same roomate for 4 years of college, you're married and entitled to most of the benefits of marraige as "non conjugal platonic partners".

Haha.

[Nigel Mansell]

Who says the house value will likely appreciate? It will almost CERTAINLY depreciate given rising interest rates and reduced demand for housing.

What happens if you buy a house for 450k and two years later the market value is 350k? Who has to buy who out, and for how much? Who takes the financial hit?

[schmooot]

If you are entering a relationship with the state of mind that it 'might' not work then it won't...relationships grow together or apart with the effort and attitude that you put into them.

I say don't make such a large money-based decision with someone you don't truly believe you will spend the rest of your life with

[2002civic]

nm

[rinny]

If you do make such an agreement, ensure you enter a clause stating that if one person chooses to put the house up for sale, then the other must agree.

You'll come to a stalemate if you want out and sell and she doesnt want to sell. Then you live in agony with a pissed off bitch in the same house.

[inline6turbo]

Originally posted by Crymson
That interesting, about the AIR.

So basically, if you've lived with the same roomate for 4 years of college, you're married and entitled to most of the benefits of marraige as "non conjugal platonic partners".

Haha.

If he's a mooch and lives off you with no job, I bet that would qualify, even if you're both dudes.

:rofl:

[.civictyper.]

DON'T DO IT MAN! YOUR CRAZY.

take a loan for her portion and make her pay rent.

If your house depreciates at all... and you break up... your exit strategy is going to be very difficult.

[Kloubek]

Originally posted by schmooot
If you are entering a relationship with the state of mind that it 'might' not work then it won't...relationships grow together or apart with the effort and attitude that you put into them.


I disagree. If I cannot make it work with my wife, I don't think I could make it work with anyone. We have overall a pretty fantastic relationship. Still, I'm all about the prenup.

You may love your wife very much, and vice-versa, but we all know how women can get when they are "scorned". Sometimes they just want to make the guy hurt - and since guys are typically not very emotional, they tend to go to the extreme to get back at him.

I do not expect my relationship to end. I love my wife dearly. But if it ever does, you better believe I will be relieved that I'm covered because we signed a prenup. I came into our relatoinship with $180,000 of equity. She came in with nothing. Like the OP, I don't really care if she takes half the appreciation of the house; I just want to know I can walk away with my $180,000 if it all goes to shit.

[CUG]

Just another question, are you guys splitting the monthly payments on the house? That might be another argument in her favor if it shits out.

[Hakkola]

Originally posted by .civictyper.
DON'T DO IT MAN! YOUR CRAZY.

take a loan for her portion and make her pay rent.



From my understanding, this only works if she stays in a separate room.

[911fever]

are prenups actually effective?? i heard they weren't always.

[schmooot]

Originally posted by Kloubek


I disagree. If I cannot make it work with my wife, I don't think I could make it work with anyone. We have overall a pretty fantastic relationship. Still, I'm all about the prenup.

You may love your wife very much, and vice-versa, but we all know how women can get when they are "scorned". Sometimes they just want to make the guy hurt - and since guys are typically not very emotional, they tend to go to the extreme to get back at him.

I do not expect my relationship to end. I love my wife dearly. But if it ever does, you better believe I will be relieved that I'm covered because we signed a prenup. I came into our relatoinship with $180,000 of equity. She came in with nothing. Like the OP, I don't really care if she takes half the appreciation of the house; I just want to know I can walk away with my $180,000 if it all goes to shit.

I understand your point but as far as I'm concerned marriage is for life. It is a solemn oath that is sworn between two people among witnesses, does anybody have integrity anymore?

[Weapon_R]

Originally posted by 911fever
are prenups actually effective?? i heard they weren't always.

They are effective if they are drafted properly and the couple does not experience an unforeseen change in wealth. For example, if a couple marries and both have average incomes, and one somehow becomes a millionaire through an unforeseeable series of events, that could weaken the prenuptial agreement.

[HiTempguy1]

Originally posted by schmooot

I understand your point but as far as I'm concerned marriage is for life. It is a solemn oath that is sworn between two people among witnesses, does anybody have integrity anymore?

Guess what? You know what you said (I bolded it for you) about an oath? Sometimes it isn't always somebody's choice but the other party's decision.

So tell me this: you marry this chick you've been dating, think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Two years later, divorce, takes you for all your worth.

If you say this hasn't happened before, it has and does (ALL of the time). So, who in their right mind wouldn't get a prenup, especially with the divorce rate being how high?

I would hope whoever I decide to marry understands the sound logical reasoning for it. I don't know if I personally would ever get one though... if I married somebody they'd have to be pretty damn trustworthy, as I don't trust anybody. Most dudes have a lot more to lose than the chick, which makes it even worse as most dudes would probably be "meh, whatever".

[Kloubek]

Originally posted by schmooot


I understand your point but as far as I'm concerned marriage is for life. It is a solemn oath that is sworn between two people among witnesses, does anybody have integrity anymore?

I totally know what you are saying, and it is admirable. But you are living in some sort of fantasy land if you think that even the best-planned, most loving marriages are happily ever after 100% of the time.

I would not imagine in a million years that my wife would be capable of being such a bitch that she wants half of everything, when she came in with nothing. But if aliens can come down and probe people's assholes, then it isn't a TOTAL stretch to imagine she might potentially have a change of heart one day.

[codetrap]

Originally posted by HiTempguy1


If you say this hasn't happened before, it has and does (ALL of the time). So, who in their right mind wouldn't get a prenup, especially with the divorce rate being how high?



I didn't bother with a prenup. Didn't have to. She saw how effective I was at digging holes/trenches etc when helping the parents landscape. She came out when I was digging and commented at how fast it was going, and I replied "You'd better not ever try to divorce me eh?" I can dig a fairly deep body sized hole pretty quick when properly motivated, and she knows it.

[911fever]

Originally posted by codetrap


I didn't bother with a prenup. Didn't have to. She saw how effective I was at digging holes/trenches etc when helping the parents landscape. She came out when I was digging and commented at how fast it was going, and I replied "You'd better not ever try to divorce me eh?" I can dig a fairly deep body sized hole pretty quick when properly motivated, and she knows it.

LOL