A few tips for driving in Alberta.

[SinisterProbeGt]

I wonder why our insurance rates are so
high?? Just remember 4 out of 5 Albertans learned to drive in a different
province.



1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Alberta driver never
uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and
the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have
of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and
it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,
especially someone from Calgary. With no-fault insurance the other guy
doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to
prepare people entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are
apparently not enforceable in Alberta during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move
over doesn't mean that a Alberta driver flashing his high beams behind you
doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Alberta is the home of high-speed slalom
driving like Highway 16, thanks to the Highways Department, which puts
pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is traditional in Alberta to honk your horn at cars that don't move
the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every Alberta driver is to get there first by
whatever means necessary.

14. In Alberta, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute.
This gesture should always be returned.




:burnout: :burnout:

[EK 2.0]

Those are good...:D

[ryder_23]

Nice, i just got that in an email today...there funny cause there true :rofl: :thumbsup:

[BloNdie]

haha, SOOOO true!
espesially this one! nice spinster!


Originally posted by SinisterProbeGt



12. It is traditional in Alberta to honk your horn at cars that don't move
the instant the light turns green.

[rc2002]

Way too true. They all apply. Especially this one:


2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

Seems that any open space is filled immediately in Calgary.

[fast_cars]

Tottaly True man!!!
Albertan drivers suck!!

[Ben]

Outstanding! No truer words have been spoken about alberta drivers, people are crazy here.

[T5_X]

A few more:

4 wheel drive means 4 wheel stop in limited traction.

The bigger the vehicle, the safer.... So feel free to drive like a maniac in a fullsize truck.

Minivans and j-bodies are race cars

Spraying rocks and slush at a vehcile's windshield wakes up its driver and makes him/her pay attention better.

Playground and school zones are the same things with the same hours.

In lethbridge, the person who is turning ALWAYS has the right-of-way. People have to slow down for you :guns:

[SinisterProbeGt]

Originally posted by SinisterProbeGt



Originally posted by BloNdie
nice spinster!

Correction it's Sinister :thumbsup:

[BloNdie]

oops, sorry! Just typed that really fast.

[Akagi Redsuns]

Regarding this point.......... "10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim."


That is the exact reason why I find that new proposed law to be pointless. The one were it says to slow down around a accident scene. Like people don't slow down to 5 km/hr to stare at the accident already. Anyways.....drivers here blow.

[hjr]

Originally posted by Akagi Redsuns
Regarding this point.......... "10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim."


That is the exact reason why I find that new proposed law to be pointless. The one were it says to slow down around a accident scene. Like people don't slow down to 5 km/hr to stare at the accident already. Anyways.....drivers here blow. ya, that fucking law is terrible!!!! You have to 1/2 you speed when you pass an accident (with police already there). Are they trying to Piss EVERYONE off? I truly think so!

[GTS Jeff]

hmmm the extent of my personal road rage is rolling the window down and shaking my fist or yelling profanities. (my horn broke)

[aftermarket]

Great posting!

[sxtasy]

Originally posted by SinisterProbeGt
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Alberta is the home of high-speed slalom driving like Highway 16, thanks to the Highways Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

:rofl: totally reminds me of when they resurface the roads in summer and there's huge manhole's sticking out everywhere

[Primer_Drift]

Originally posted by fast_cars
Tottaly True man!!!
Albertan drivers suck!!

Alberta drivers are no worse than BC (vancouver) drivers, except we know that we have traffic laws and don't obey them.. and in BC they don't seem to know at all. Driving the speed limit there will cause an accident, you'll get rearended by someone who doesnt swerve fast enough, while honking and glaring at you. They seem to think every road sign is just an advertisement.

[A_3]

Truest words ever!!! especially number ten, lol sign of respect:rofl:

[illeagle]

what about those smelly cars that burn oil, flame them!!!

[Pete92SL]

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,
especially someone from Calgary. With no-fault insurance the other guy
doesn't have anything to lose.

This email must have originally been intended for a different province or state with no-fault insurance.

Funny all the same Sinister!

Pete

[maximus]

Alberta drivers suck...except for the ones on Beyond right??
:rofl:

[kevie88]

Yeah!! except for all of us!!

You forgot

15: Stop at the end of all merge lanes. it is dangerous to attempt a merge at speed!

[Primer_Drift]

Originally posted by kevie88
Yeah!! except for all of us!!

You forgot

15: Stop at the end of all merge lanes. it is dangerous to attempt a merge at speed!
..All cars behind you must not be allowed to speed up either.

[T5_X]

Originally posted by Primer_Drift


Alberta drivers are no worse than BC (vancouver) drivers, except we know that we have traffic laws and don't obey them.. and in BC they don't seem to know at all. Driving the speed limit there will cause an accident, you'll get rearended by someone who doesnt swerve fast enough, while honking and glaring at you. They seem to think every road sign is just an advertisement.

LOL, you serious!?!? I've done a hell of a lot of driving in Vancouver, flow of traffic is pretty close to the speed limit on almost every road but highway #1 and a few other select freeways/bridges... which incidentally do not even pass through Van City. Whenever I cross the Alberta border I notice an average drop in IQ by about 20 points for drivers :rofl:

[SinisterProbeGt]

I also love the fact the 99 year old drivers are allowed to drive although they can see over the dash. and they just worta sway in and out of your lance till they fuinally just cut you off.

[JAYMEZ]

lol , thats good stuff hehe :whipped:

[illeagle]

How to drive in Calgary, 10 more..

- 1) when cutting someone off for no reason, blast your horn and give the one finger solute.
- 2) When a car is approaching you in the next lane at the speed limit, quickly speed up to 50k, cut in front and slam on the brakes.
- 3) Drive with the hi-beams on
- 4) change lanes THEN shoulder check
- 5) on a 2 lane road find a car doing 40km/h (not hard) and drive beside him plugging traffic for as long as you can, while riding the brakes, then change lanes, speed up, and turn off.
- 6) On a 2 lane road find a big rig, or any HUGE truck and drive beside it, following step #5
- 7) when looking for an address, do not let anyone go around you.
- 8) Your Kids shoulden't wear seatbelts, your driving is safe anyway
- 9) Overtake in a school/playground zone, the lead car is too slow
- 10) when you tires are slipping in winter, press the gas harder, the tires have to be spinning fast to work.

[Zero102]

Damn, this #10 is so freakin accurate. I can't count how many times I watch people pull up to get their mail (I live across from the super-box), get in their car and just put it to the floor, expecting to make it up the hill. There are actually 2 iced tire tracks from all these morons. I wish people would learn how to drive when the roads get slippery, it's NOT THAT HARD.

I got one more for you.


If you are on a 1 lane road, and there is somebody turning left, even if there is nobody coming, it is the LAW to pull into the park lane to pass them, prompty returning to your lane, without shoulder checking.

That's how I got hit once, why can't people just look before they move, or perhaps signal, that would be nice.

[illeagle]

I just made them up as i went along, took me 15 min, most of my driving happens during rush hour.

#11) Do not turn on your headlights until it's pitch black outside, but since your one light is out, it's OK to use your hi-beams.

#12) think about what to cook for dinner when doing 120km/h down deerfoot..

- i smashed into a guy driving/speeding with no headlights on.

- Basically when someone is driving sloppy, i look at them and usually thier mouth is open, and they have a deer in the lights look on their face not even knowing what's going on around them.
Drivers should know, anything can happen in a split second, one second your the only car around. you'll check your mirror or whatever, and before you know it a car is right in front of you ..

[fast_cars]

^^
ahaha
those are some good ones!!!
:thumbsup:

[Zero102]

I started finding ways around driving in rush hour, Every accident I have been in was during either rush hour, or leaving a store after a sale. I have rush-hour-phobia.
j/k
I don't know what is wrong with our drivers, I went to saskatchewan, and they drive worse there than we do, same with B.C., just we do different things wrong, here all our drivers are too busy picking their freakin nose to drive.

Rule #100
It is more important to stare at that blob of snot on your finger wondering just where that little piece of dust came from than it is to watch the car infront of you. I mean, he will still be there in 30 seconds, but the dust, who knows.

[illeagle]

^^haha, yup, I see people "digging for gold" all the time during rush our. Then right after they'll bite their nails.....

[Zero102]

Man, I'm worried I'll crash getting sick from those people.
My biggest beef is with people who think it's cool to blow by you at 100-120 on memorial, just to cut you off and hammer on the brakes to make their turn. Why not think about which freakin lane you need when you get on the road, it's not that hard. I can't decide what's worse, all these ricers or the old men who can't see over the steering wheel, but won't give up their license.

[Zero102]

Hmm, I think we are the only people on here at this time in the morning. I am busy watching my car, it almost got broken into last night (they got half-way in), so I am sitting here staring at it, a little paranoid I suppose.

[fast_cars]

Originally posted by illeagle
^^haha, yup, I see people "digging for gold" all the time during rush our. Then right after they'll bite their nails.....

SICK!!
i hope i never have to see anything like that..!!
:eek: :barf:

[illeagle]

uh oh, that's not good, Yah, i think we can get in shit for posting like this...ah well, we're the only ones around, I WAS working on my car, but this internet thingy is addictive as speeding

[Zero102]

It's enough to make you ill, it's worse if they eat it. Spare time in slow traffic does odd things to you, like make you pick your nose, or watch somebody pick theirs...

[Zero102]

Get in shit for posting like this?... Well I best shut my big trap then. They will see it all in the morning, and shake their heads. 'What fools' they will say...
Anyhoo, working on the car, that's not good, hope it's not due to some rush-hour driving.

[Primer_Drift]

:rofl:Get even Zero, *remark removed*..

But back on topic, a good reason why our rates are so high. Because the insurance companies could get away bumping up rates for so long, without government interference. We have one of the dryest winters in all of Canada, theoretically making our winter driving safer. So idiotic driver habits aside, because all provinces have them, it boils down to profit margin for the insurance companies. Thats my .02

[fast_cars]

^^^^ hahaahah cant wait till mods read this!!!
lol

[illeagle]

no doubt i wanna go back and erase everything now, i'm scared P.M.'d

[Zero102]

Ah well, Be not afraid.
I hate these damn insurance rates. Hmm, I fell behind on this post, I was checking out insurance prices.
Winter drivers here are terrible, last snowfall I had a guy run a stop sign (intentionally) right in front of me, and he's in a brand new crossfire, he then hammers it to try to get going. Lucky I put my winter tires on, otherwise I would have some keepsakes from this idiot's car.

[Zero102]

Hey, let's get back on topic!
Tips for driving in alberta

DON'T! It's just not safe here =)