How to get out of bed without waking your partner

[boarderfatty]

This is a question for any of you sorry saps that has to sleep with a significant other on a regular basis, because I may have recently turned into one of you.

Basically the story goes I have been seeing this girl on and off for about 6 months now, I try and keep it casual because I have commitment issues and relationship ADD. Problem lies with the girl I am seeing being no where near emotionally stable. She has father issues, just got out of a terrible long term relationship with a cheating ex, and her mother is terminally ill with cancer, something i thought would be fun to exploit... Boy was I wrong.

After seeing her for a few weeks she became ill and had to stay at the hospital. when I went to visit her, her parents introduced me to the staff as her fiance so I could spend the night (this immediately set off my clinger alert) about a month later she trapped me into dog shopping and i barely escaped by buying her a pair of marc jacob shoes ( I needed out) We took a break where I saw a couple other people but she would not leave me alone. As of about 4 weeks ago I was scammed into dating her again, somewhat more seriously, I was less than thrilled.

The week before I left for the Montreal Grand Prix, she started talking about how her mom doesn't have much time left, she wants her mom to see her get married, yada, yada, yada, we should get married. I though WTF no one ties down jordanturbo like that. I didn't feel like getting into an argument though before I left and be in a sour mood for my trip, so I decided to wait till i got back to discuss things further.

Montreal was a blast, I realized how ridiculous this relationship was, I fell in love with a stripper, etc. Basically I decided that I was going to end it again when I got back. But here en-lies the problem, I lost my phone while I was gone and did not know that her mom got reaalll sick and went to the hospital, when I got home her mom had recently been released and was at home but still suffering from seizures, throwing up blood etc. Basically she was in need of almost constant care which meant my gf couldn't really leave the house. I went there on the tuesday night and ended up sleeping over since the gf was such a mess ( I hate sleeping with another person) Wed she calls me over again and says that she is only comfortable sleeping when I am around etc. so I was hooped for another night, and the rest of the week. I have a problem sleeping with other people though, I like my own bed, and to toss and turn, I can't sleep lying still on 1/2 a bed (only a double) while someone is holding me. Anytime I try and go to the bathroom or move I wake her up. So basically I am getting like 3 hrs of sleep a night, and I haven't had sex with her in almost 2 weeks, its almost like being married.

I really want to get out of that bed at some point during the night so I can get a little sleep, I am wondering if any of you have some secret tips for getting out of the bed at night without waking your significant other, since I think she would be uber upset if I left.

Second do you think I am hooped being stuck in this relationship? Is there any way to get out? She is emotionally unstable, with her ex she had a bit of a blow habit and drinking problem, she has cut out blow for the last year about, and cut back on drinking, but being emotionally unstable I am thinking with me leaving her / her mom dying she make pick her habit back up, or maybe worse kill herself. Being the douche I am, I still have a conscious and would hate having this plague it. I really am not interested in a monogamous relationship, definitely not interested in marriage, I don't think I am in love with her, and don't think she is deserving to harbor the offspring of jordanturbo. But I feel obligated to stay with her, and have no clue how to get out.

Coles notes:
I want to get out of her bed and sleep, I am not buying her a bed to keep at her place in its not going to last. I have been giving the Idea of drugging her, but need recommendations on drugs, Im guessing she will taste nyquil, and this isn't some girl at the bar that I would normally ruffie and never see again.

Second is there an easy way out of this relationship without destroying her emotionally (aka turning her into a rose off of two and a half men)

[Modelexis]

Sounds like you should be the one taking the sleeping pills. :D

[boarderfatty]

I have no problem giving or selling drugs to others, but I will not take any kind of drug or pill, haven't had so much as cough syrup since I was 16

[Mixalot27]

j0eStJlnNKo

[msommers]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
She has father issues, just got out of a terrible long term relationship with a cheating ex, and her mother is terminally ill with cancer, something i thought would be fun to exploit

:rofl: Jesus Christ man, I wish I could have no conscience too!

[sr20s14zenki]

Shit man, sounds like youre going to have to gnaw your own arm off.........isnt that what people do when they wake up next to an ugly chick?



:D

[95teetee]

Originally posted by boarderfatty

. I have been giving the Idea of drugging her, but need recommendations on drugs, Im guessing she will taste nyquil, and this isn't some girl at the bar that I would normally ruffie and never see again.
wow.



that is all.

[bspot]

Man up and break up with her? :dunno:

[kamakurakid]

Tell her you are going for a squirt, gather you clothes on the way to the toilet and make for the exit.

What would Dr. Phil or Charlie Harper do?

[GQBalla]

So you had to share that whole story only to ask how to get outta bed without wakin the other lol

If things aren't working than things aren't working

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by GQBalla
So you had to share that whole story only to ask how to get outta bed without wakin the other lol

If things aren't working than things aren't working

Well I was looking for additional advice as well, and getting the entire picture I thought would help with advice.

[baygirl]

Do her a favor and dump her!

[Spinzz 4]

"sleeping in the same bed with her" and "not getting laid for 2 weeks" shouldn't be in the same paragraph...

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
I have commitment issues and relationship ADD. Problem lies with the girl I am seeing

something i thought would be fun to exploit... Boy was I wrong.

I fell in love with a stripper.

I have been giving the Idea of drugging her, but need recommendations on drugs,
Im guessing she will taste nyquil, and this isn't some girl at the bar thatI would normally ruffie and never see again


Classy guy.

[Novus]

Originally posted by boarderfatty


I though WTF no one ties down jordanturbo like that.

Didn't read your whole thing but your real beyond name is Jordan Turbo???? :dunno: :dunno:

I think I found out! ahahah

EDIT: Finished reading your post and yea I know how it feels when you only get 1/2 a bed. When someone sleeps beside me holding me, I accidentally usually kick her off the bed. :rofl:

Edit2: Wait you said she did blow? Why don't you just drug her and say yea I can't let you not sleep or something? lol If she doesn't take it, say this isn't working out and go home.

[FraserB]

Somehow I doubt that someone like you gets scammed into dating a chick.

[boarderfatty]

My name on 780 all other forums, email, msn, and dating sites etc is jordanturbo. I just haven't figured out how to change it here, I msg'd rage2 about 6 mths ago but nothing ever came of it. I forgot I was still boarderfatty on here actually.

[Novus]

Originally posted by FraserB
Somehow I doubt that someone like you gets scammed into dating a chick.

Dat Chick wanted Jordan's TURBOZZZZZZZ :rofl: :rofl:

OP, so is it "officially" a relationship you're having with the girl?

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by FraserB
Somehow I doubt that someone like you gets scammed into dating a chick.

Well I never have any intention of dating anyone or being exclusive, but sometimes you sleep with someone, then you see her out of the bedroom, she accidentally has you run into her family where she states we are in a serious relationship. normally I would be running to the door, but I felt trapped in this one.


Originally posted by Novus


Dat Chick wanted Jordan's TURBOZZZZZZZ :rofl: :rofl:

OP, so is it "officially" a relationship you're having with the girl?

I don't consider it so, but her family introduced me in the hospital as her fiance, her and them talk to me about marriage, buying dogs, moving in together etc. So by them treating it seriously I guess it is.

[Barlow]

since this is beyond....


Is she financially stable??


as in take care of you?

If yes, You're in the money.... stick it out...


I would!!!


Barlow

[Amysicle]

Unless you've knocked her up, grow a pair, tell her it isn't working out and just ignore all her attempts to contact you.

Yes, it is horrible that her mom is dying, she has daddy issues, she had a shitty ex-boyfriend, and she can't sleep without a warm body in the bed.

But all this would have been true prior to you getting coming into the picture and it'll only be worse for her if you stick around longer and give her some sort of false hope that one day she'll be Mrs. Jordan Turbo and have your children and you'll both ride off into the sunset.

[Novus]

OP wtf? Pussy way out: Say, I'm sorry hun. I can't do this anymore. I'm married and my wife thinks I'm on a business trip. That's why this relationship we were having for the past 6 months was kinda "casual".. Emphasize on casual

[boarderfatty]

She doesn't have money, she is a part time waitress, enrolled in the nursing program at school next year.

Her dad buys her everything and has a good job with enviro canada, but its not like there is family money or business to get in on later.

Personally I am financially secure imo. I am 22 I have 2 rental properties which I have 60-65% equity in, I have a substancial amount in investments, have a couple fun cars, and am living at home rent free in my parents place until I am done school or feel like buying another place for myself, so money is not a huge issue.

Very little of what I have is in my name when I did work I drew a very meager salary from my company etc. So as long as I have a 1/2 asses pre-nup I should be able to exit any marriage unscathed.

[FiveFreshFish]

Don't wait until she gets pregnant. Leave now.

[Novus]

Originally posted by boarderfatty
She doesn't have money, she is a part time waitress, enrolled in the nursing program at school next year.

Her dad buys her everything and has a good job with enviro canada, but its not like there is family money or business to get in on later.

Personally I am financially secure imo. I am 22 I have 2 rental properties which I have 60-65% equity in, I have a substancial amount in investments, have a couple fun cars, and am living at home rent free in my parents place until I am done school or feel like buying another place for myself, so money is not a huge issue.

Very little of what I have is in my name when I did work I drew a very meager salary from my company etc. So as long as I have a 1/2 asses pre-nup I should be able to exit any marriage unscathed.

you with rogers? get call manager and get her phone number to forward to voicemail or block her calls entirely, delete and block her off facebook, and just disappear.

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by Amysicle
hope that one day she'll be Mrs. Jordan Turbo and have your children and you'll both ride off into the sunset.

I will not let her have my kids. i want a little jordanturbo of my own to release onto society in the future, but she does not meet the genetic standards I have for someone to carry my children. Her dad is balding, she has a family history of cancer, her IQ isn't there, she is not tall enough etc. She is good looking, fun in the sack and athletic, but I need superhuman children that excel in everything at life, school, business, athletics, life etc.

The woman to bear my children must be very special to be the recipient of my seed.


Originally posted by Novus


you with rogers? get call manager and get her phone number to forward to voicemail or block her calls entirely, delete and block her off facebook, and just disappear.

Unfortunately I also work in the same place as her part time haha

[Novus]

I mean honestly OP, I don't really know what you're asking. With all these details, it seems like you're asking on how to leave the relationship. Any normal person would have asked. How do you get out of bed without waking the significant other...

[eglove]

PICS?! :dunno:

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by Novus
I mean honestly OP, I don't really know what you're asking. With all these details, it seems like you're asking on how to leave the relationship. Any normal person would have asked. How do you get out of bed without waking the significant other...

I was asking for advice on how to sneak out of bed on a light sleeper, as in which drugs to sneak her etc. I tried the hug and roll unsucessfully and was looking for other ideas

Also how to leave the relationship at a later date


Originally posted by eglove
PICS?! :dunno:

Normally I would say no, but I am really SOL now since she doesn't have facebook, and I lost my phone with dirty pics of all gf's current and past which makes me sad, my only hope is that the person who finds it posts them on the internet for me to right-click save as

[Melinda]

Dear god. You are the saddest excuse for a man I have ever encountered. And to top it off, you have no nuts. Pretty pathetisad combo if you ask me.

Do her a favour, and break up with her. I have a feeling you aren't worth killing herself over, she'll get over it.

Do society a favour and get sterilized. I shudder at the thought of children someday walking around with you as their role model.

Do yourself a favour and give your head a shake. Based on your low opinion of women, your overall outlook on life and your ridiculously over inflated impression of yourself, it sounds like maybe YOU are the unstable head case.

She's going through hell. Her mother is DYING. Think about how you would feel if your mother was dying (if you have enough heart beating in your chest to care). If you aren't in it to support and care about her, break up with her and let her lean on people who actually care. What to do when you're in bed with her shouldn't even be a factor in your scope of the universe.

[Hakkola]

Dude, just send her a link to this thread. Should be pretty much game over after that.

[TeamBestBud]

Originally posted by boarderfatty


I will not let her have my kids. i want a little jordanturbo of my own to release onto society in the future, but she does not meet the genetic standards I have for someone to carry my children. Her dad is balding, she has a family history of cancer, her IQ isn't there, she is not tall enough etc. She is good looking, fun in the sack and athletic, but I need superhuman children that excel in everything at life, school, business, athletics, life etc.

The woman to bear my children must be very special to be the recipient of my seed.



http://queenbeestephanie.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/dwight_schrute.jpg

[v2kai]

Originally posted by Melinda
Dear god. You are the saddest excuse for a man I have ever encountered. And to top it off, you have no nuts. Pretty pathetisad combo if you ask me.

Do her a favour, and break up with her. I have a feeling you aren't worth killing herself over, she'll get over it.

Do society a favour and get sterilized. I shudder at the thought of children someday walking around with you as their role model.

Do yourself a favour and give your head a shake. Based on your low opinion of women, your overall outlook on life and your ridiculously over inflated impression of yourself, it sounds like maybe YOU are the unstable head case.

She's going through hell. Her mother is DYING. Think about how you would feel if your mother was dying (if you have enough heart beating in your chest to care). If you aren't in it to support and care about her, break up with her and let her lean on people who actually care. What to do when you're in bed with her shouldn't even be a factor in your scope of the universe.

1st useful response in this thread so far.

"dont reproduce, thanks" - The world

[Novus]

I would so LOL if you didn't put the notice on this thread

http://forums.beyond.ca/showthread.php?s=&threadid=304637&perpage=20&highlight=&pagenumber=1

Cause I would be thinking that you were having a thing going with the terminally ill cancer woman which just sounds wrong...

[derran.m]

Originally posted by eglove
PICS?! :dunno: :thumbsup:

[Feruk]

This is gonna sound kinda weird, but... I recently stopped seeing a girl who had HUGE daddy issues, ex-boyfriend issues from a few months back, emotionally unstable, used to be addicted to coke, drinks too much (which made her 10 times more emotionally unstable and unbearable), and works as a part time waitress!! Never saw her mom once despite the girl living with her. Supposedly "always out of town on business."

I doubt it's the same chick, but let's throw it out there. Does her name start with the letter "Z"?

[mr2mike]

Originally posted by Feruk


I doubt it's the same chick, but let's throw it out there.

http://www.cool-smileys.com/images/203.gif

[ZorroAMG]

You all got trolled.

[wrcftw]

You sound like a pretty terrible human being :thumbsdow

[derran.m]

Originally posted by ZorroAMG
You all got trolled.
it's boarderfatty / jordanturbo ... haven't you seen any other posts of his? He's the next Banned3x lol He must have seen Banned's custom user title and decided to be the first candidate for 2011 LOL

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by Melinda
Dear god. You are the saddest excuse for a man I have ever encountered. And to top it off, you have no nuts. Pretty pathetisad combo if you ask me.

Do her a favour, and break up with her. I have a feeling you aren't worth killing herself over, she'll get over it.

Do society a favour and get sterilized. I shudder at the thought of children someday walking around with you as their role model.

Do yourself a favour and give your head a shake. Based on your low opinion of women, your overall outlook on life and your ridiculously over inflated impression of yourself, it sounds like maybe YOU are the unstable head case.

She's going through hell. Her mother is DYING. Think about how you would feel if your mother was dying (if you have enough heart beating in your chest to care). If you aren't in it to support and care about her, break up with her and let her lean on people who actually care. What to do when you're in bed with her shouldn't even be a factor in your scope of the universe.

I am pretty sure I have nuts, I'm packin like a porn star ;)

I also gave her mom some credit over the suicide idea (like 90% me 10% her mom), I have broken up with her 3 times before (she goes real bat shit crazy) but she always comes back, I just thought if her mom died se might go a little crazier.

I couldn't get sterilized, I can't hold out on the world, it needs people like me to play professional sports, run businesses, and countries, invent sweet stuff etc. Its douchebags like me that make the world go round.

I actually do have a heart beating or else I would already be in the ground waiting for her mom to join me...(J/K thats a little insensitive) I wouldn't feel to bad if my mom was dying, but I have mother issues. I can see where you are coming from, even though I do not necessarily want to be there I am there every day to talk, cuddle, and hold her until she falls asleep, I just need a way to sneak out of bed after she falls asleep in my arms

PS: I know your just jealous and want some ;) next time your in etown drop me a line and I will show you a good time ;)


Originally posted by Feruk
This is gonna sound kinda weird, but... I recently stopped seeing a girl who had HUGE daddy issues, ex-boyfriend issues from a few months back, emotionally unstable, used to be addicted to coke, drinks too much (which made her 10 times more emotionally unstable and unbearable), and works as a part time waitress!! Never saw her mom once despite the girl living with her. Supposedly "always out of town on business."

I doubt it's the same chick, but let's throw it out there. Does her name start with the letter "Z"?

Well if she lives in Edmonton, her name magically goes from starting with a Z to a J then we might have the same person


Originally posted by Novus
I would so LOL if you didn't put the notice on this thread

http://forums.beyond.ca/showthread.php?s=&threadid=304637&perpage=20&highlight=&pagenumber=1

Cause I would be thinking that you were having a thing going with the terminally ill cancer woman which just sounds wrong...

No this is a different one, This is the girl that inspired the blow job etiquette thread after she choked and spit all over my car

[Kloubek]

I can sum this entire thread up in one word:

T-R-O-L-L.

Nobody is this much of an asshole.

[boarderfatty]

Originally posted by Kloubek
I can sum this entire thread up in one word:

T-R-O-L-L.

Nobody is this much of an asshole.

I don't see why I am such an asshole, I am not treating her like shit, I am being a good boyfriend to her. I am sure many guys stuck in relationships think the same thoughts that I do and don't voice them.

[msommers]

Ya, we got rick rolled lol. I wouldn't doubt there are people out there like this though, it's pretty sad.

[scat330]

Originally posted by Kloubek
I can sum this entire thread up in one word:

T-R-O-L-L.

Nobody is this much of an asshole.

Yup, not even me.

[Novus]

Originally posted by boarderfatty

Well if she lives in Edmonton, her name magically goes from starting with a Z to a J then we might have the same person


Is her name

one of these??

Ja-
Jaclyn
Jadwige
Jaime
Jamie
Janae
Janet
Jarica
Jaya
Jeanette
Jelena
Jenessa
Jacaranda
Jacobina
Jae
Jaleesa
Jamila
Jancis
Janice
Jasmine
Jazzlyn
Jeannie
Jemina
Jenevieve
Jacey
Jacqueline
Jael
Jamaica
Jamison
Jane
Janine
Javiera
Je-
Jearl
Jemma
Jenilee
Jacinda
Jacquelyn
Jaffa
Jameelah
Jan
Janelle
Janoah
Jaxine
Jean
Jedida
Jene
Jenna
Jackie
Jade
Jahzara
Jamesina
Jana
Janessa
Jardina
Jay
Jecolia
Jenara
Jennie
Jennifer

[Kloubek]

Originally posted by scat330


Yup, not even me.

You, sir, are an angel in comparison.

[JfuckinC]

Haha creep his Facebook, Buddy looks like his game is non existent. Troll fosho.

[R154]

The funny thing is, if they could, they would do the same thing.

First things first, the best way to avoid the crazy bitch is plan for the eventuality that one day this bitch is going to cling to you. Put aside the dying of her mother, she would be a clingy regardless of that situation. Her family is acting with complicity. That is the first sign that you need to have your flight plan ready.

Simple solution for getting out of bed:
1) If the bed is against a wall, be on the INSIDE. This is important because its much easier and quieter to slide downwards off the bed without disruption, then to unweight on either side.

2) NEVER wrap yourself in the blanket(s) always wrap her with it, push the blankets under her and hold her with you arm (left or right) OVER the blanket. Wrap your left/right leg over her legs... dont ever spoon her conventionally, face to face, it puts distance between your pelvises...and makes it much easier to progressively remove appendages from around her. Bite the bullet and get close, the closer the better. if she falls asleep feeling "safe" she will be less likely to wake up when you let go. And its a long haul.

Where you have to be careful, is often girls will intentionally wait to see if that is in fact what you are doing. You can always tell when someone is fake sleeping. They regulate their breathing pattern to evenly. Listen for a slight variance in breathing, then you are safely in the green zone for quiet ejection. Remember it isnt necessarily how deeply she is breathing, more with what regularity.

Probably the most important part of ejecting yourself is the backup plan... always plant seeds like... oh I have to go to work early... I have to get an oil change... let my dog out been couped up all day. ect. Do this well before you go to sleep.
So if/(when) she catch's you, you dont look like a dumb nigger trying to force a lie. A lie is much more convincing when you've already thought about what youre going to say. Remember consistency is the key!

Another piece of advice... NEVER EVER EVER let her close /lock the door... its a trap... always "sleep" with the door open.
Tell her it makes you claustrophobic to have it closed. She will nearly always oblige your request if you put in an academy award winning performance. If she is being stubborn, add in a story about how you had a bad experience when you were young... eek out a tear. This girl is nuts, she LOVES drama... she'll eat it up.


Flight planing your way out... as much as I hate to agree with the bitches in this thread... the longer you wait the worse it will get.
I know EXACTLY what you are going through with this girl... if you wait to long you'll have to employ one hell of a bait and switch... and if beyond is any indication, finding a capable donkey will be exponentially harder with respect to the length of time you keep riding this. Preferably do it before her mother dies, or you'll have to put up with the 2am crying fits.

My suggestion is the tried tested and true fault and dump. Take her out get her liquored, pay a friend to hit on her (make sure he has some game, and is atleast as convincing as you). Introduce some blow into the situation, get him to push it hard... as soon as she looks like she will oblige, get him to text you... show up and again put in an academy performace... how you really wanted to spend a lifetime with her, but you cant be with someone who has a drug problem.
SHE WILL TRY TO JUSTIFY. This is where lesser men will drop the ball and fold. Stay steadfast! Let her cry, let her scream, let her beg. As soon as she looks at you through wet eyes and says these words "baby, let me prove to you how much I love you..." That's when you "break down" and tell her your heart hurts and you need to take a break from her bullshit, and SHE is the reason. Dont call her. Dont text her. Dont e-mail her. DONT FUCK HER FRIENDS (trust me).
Let her stew... eventually she'll get mad and rescentful and she WILL fuck another dude... this is where your friend (the original donkey) comes in... as long as he is being "the leaning post" for her to talk to about you, then he will get sex + you off the hook. If she confronts you after she fucks your friend... you have an easy out... clearly you cant trust a bitch that would fuck your friends!


The other flight plan is definitely more risky and arguably the hardest solution... but when/if you pull it off... you really get an appreciation for how far bitches will go. You go balls deep and out front her.
This girl is nuts for you cause shes in love with the smooth talking self confident role you've fronted on her with. With that said, you need to take this to the excess. You make wedding plans, you pay a wedding planner (and let them know that its an exit strategy) to plan out a wedding, go house shopping, go looking at furniture, talk to her friends nonstop about it. SMOTHER her. and when I say smother I mean fucking SMOTHER her. you have a 70/30 chance that she will fold. She will run screaming from you. but this will ONLY happen if you smother her, and change tones... if you've been aloof, you now need to be clingy as fuck. and vice versa. she needs to see the side of you that she terrified of. Realise her fears. !!! <--- KEY

Good luck man... let us know how it goes or what you are choosing.


As a notice to beyond... all of you shining white knights out there... FUCK YOU. its because of you bitches walk all over men. You think your girl isnt fucking around on you? At all times that bitch has 2 cocks in her mouth 1 in her ass. Im just saying theres a lot of porn... someone is fucking that bitch.

To Melinda... I like you. In fact your posts always seem to be exactly on point according to how you present yourself. But to be honest, your post isnt really all that necessary. I wouldnt expect you to understand. mrs. feministing. Lurk moar.

[boarderfatty]

^^^^ Thanks for the advice I had never thought about sliding down, or pre planting an excuse. I have been trying the face to face thing liking the little bit of space, I never thought that being closer might get her to sleep quicker and deeper.

As for the flight I have broken up with her multiple times before, I have played her off onto a friend, hard as he tried she wouldn't sleep with him (haven't tried bringing blow into the picture though) I actually kind of care for her as a person (I don't love her, cant see myself married to her, but do care about her wellbeing) Which is why I want to find some way to let her down easy, I am worried about what she will do.

now that my friends know her no one will get near her for the friend stepping in again. one breakup I turned into a douche to the point where she broke up with me saying I wasn't the same person she started dating, but then came back saying she loves me and will take me no matter how she can have me etc.

I don't see what facebook has to do with game? I don't have a relationship status so some possible ass won't be turned away, I don't carry a camera around, so I have alot of my own pictures, and vacation pics and intimate pics should be kept personal. there are pictures of me with girls out over facebook, but I delete my tag with them right away, again a potential piece of ass doesn't need to see me kissing someone else, also it keeps any girlfriend I have at the time from being suspicious.
I will admit my game at a bar is less than stellar, I would say 10% of the people I sleep with I pick up at a bar (I am just not that tanned ed hardy / true religion douche) I have much better luck at work, school, internet, restaurants etc.

[msommers]

Originally posted by R154
So if/(when) she catch's you, you dont look like a dumb nigger trying to force a lie.

......

As a notice to beyond... all of you shining white knights out there... FUCK YOU. its because of you bitches walk all over men. You think your girl isnt fucking around on you? At all times that bitch has 2 cocks in her mouth 1 in her ass. Im just saying theres a lot of porn... someone is fucking that bitch.

I actually read that entire wall of text. The part of it where you get her to do try some blow, I seriously burst out laughing! By and large, most of it is quite true.

I don't understand why you had to drop the "dumb nigger" comment though, not cool dude.

And the other part. What about being a fucking man and tell her straight up it isn't working and end it right there? The whole song and dance you're suggesting seems like some dumbass plan that only a crazy bitch herself would come up with.

Not gonna lie though, it'd be a funny as hell story if pulled off :rofl:

[Teknix]

I don't even know where the hell to start with this one.. I find it funny how the main question is "how to get out of bed without waking her". But it seems like you've got a lot bigger issues on your shoulder dude.

Edit: Read the other posts and realized he's just a troll lol my bad.

[brandon]

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs280.ash1/20776_384561230645_842715645_10262993_1456816_n.jpg

I'm POSITIVE she will be fine getting over you......

now quit trying to mimic Tucker Max.

[boarderfatty]

Well I have decided to stick this out.
Taking some advice from R154, I crushed up a tylenol PM in her meal, then when in bed I slid down to the bottom of the bed instead of off the side, this has ben working well the last couple nights and I have been able to get some sleep.

I figure I might as well stay with her. Yes she is emotionally unstable and obsessive, but I can get away with anything and still have her in love with me. Even though she does not like it she still puts up with me cheating on her, she is acceptable arm candy etc. So until I find the mother of my child I think keeping her around won't be terrible

[JfuckinC]

lol you're a wreck pal.

[snoop101]

I lol reading the wall of text. Dude you got WAY more issues then trying to get out of bed without waking her.