RecoilS14
08-02-2010, 02:51 AM
This is kind of hard to explain and even harder to talk about, as i've never met anyone other than myself with a condition like i have.
Dec 2008: I got really stressed out and whenever i ate, i would become nauseated and wouldnt eat. this went on for about two months. I lost well over 20lbs.
Mid 2009: I start eating normal again and slowly start putting weight on again, however something is different. Whenever i start to feel hungry, i ignore it now. I know should eat, and if i do get up to get food, I will eat. But if i dont get up and eat, i'll put it off for hours untill the hunger pain is too much to deal with.
Early 2010: I got myself a gym membership, started eating a lot more, felt good and started to see some size come back.
Today: Stopped going to the gym back in June (couldnt afford anymore) I barely eat once a day, when hunger strikes i get all depressed and self loathing. It makes me sick thinking about trying to eat. then when i do manage to start eating, i can only eat small portions. (yes i know, my stomach has shrunk, but its not that)
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why, since 2008, have i developed a hate on for eating and started to be hungry all the time and keep that as the norm?
I'm starting to get very angry about this, as i have shrunk down to 130lbs from 180lbs+ since dec 2008.
Dec 2008: I got really stressed out and whenever i ate, i would become nauseated and wouldnt eat. this went on for about two months. I lost well over 20lbs.
Mid 2009: I start eating normal again and slowly start putting weight on again, however something is different. Whenever i start to feel hungry, i ignore it now. I know should eat, and if i do get up to get food, I will eat. But if i dont get up and eat, i'll put it off for hours untill the hunger pain is too much to deal with.
Early 2010: I got myself a gym membership, started eating a lot more, felt good and started to see some size come back.
Today: Stopped going to the gym back in June (couldnt afford anymore) I barely eat once a day, when hunger strikes i get all depressed and self loathing. It makes me sick thinking about trying to eat. then when i do manage to start eating, i can only eat small portions. (yes i know, my stomach has shrunk, but its not that)
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why, since 2008, have i developed a hate on for eating and started to be hungry all the time and keep that as the norm?
I'm starting to get very angry about this, as i have shrunk down to 130lbs from 180lbs+ since dec 2008.