i need some advice about a friend

[3drian]

Hey guys I just wanted some advice here im not sure what to do..

Here is the story: me and my gf had a long distance relationship for 10 months and she just moved to lethbridge last month which is awesome. Saturday I had my birthday party and there was tons of people there, including friends that came down from Calgary, long story short at the end of the night my girlfriend fucking snaps and ask me why my friends are telling her that im an asshole that ive been cheating on her and that she should dump me. We were both drunk at the time so we got into a fight at went home.
Next day we talked about it and she wouldn’t tell me who told her all the bs, after a while she admitted that she didn’t want to tell me because the person said that he just wanted to help her but he doesn’t want to ruin the “friendship” with me. Anyways she finally told me and it happens to be a friend of mine who came from Calgary and is engaged. He used to be a really cool guy until he met his current gf now he is whipped, the guy knows everything about me we partied a lot and did some crazy shit last summer and we always laugh about it, I talked to him about things I don’t tell anyone else I guess I kinda trusted him.

Now what should I do? Call him and be like man wtf thought u were my friend and now you are telling my gf to dump me?

Or just let it go and just don’t consider him my friend anymore and never trust him again..

[A790]

If you can't trust them they aren't your friends.

Sounds like he called you out to your GF for things you were doing when she wasn't around. The problem here is that, in his eyes, he's doing the right thing.

Still, if you don't trust each other your friendship will be a joke.

[J.M.]

Were you really cheating on her?

[JRSC00LUDE]

Have you been cheating on her?

[rob the knob]

punch him in face

not a true friend

and why you cheat on gf and make secrets

[J.M.]

lolwut rob :english:

[G-ZUS]

Are you guys in high school? or just out of high school?

[sk65guy]

Originally posted by JRSC00LUDE
Have you been cheating on her?

This.

[Mitsu3000gt]

Originally posted by rob the knob
punch him in face

not a true friend

and why you cheat on gf and make secrets

:rofl:

[3drian]

Hmm I must admint i kinda cheated ONCE the first week we started dating me and him went out got crazy drunk and i made out with some ramdon, this was more than a year ago, and then since the whole thing got serious i have NOT done anything close to cheating I love her and she just moved here for me, things were going great and he knew this.. funny thing is that me and him had a talk at the beggining of the night and I told him how happy I was that she was now around 24/7,
so In my mind it was just a dick move

[Kloubek]

Look guy. If you were cheating on your girlfriend (and it sounds like you were), then you have no right to be bitching about "betrayal" or "trust". The fact that he would tell your girlfriend shows he has more of a heart than you do.

Now, with that aside, I would typically not remain friends with someone who betrayed my trust and went off telling my girlfriend things he KNOWS I don't want her to know.

But seriously man, you reap what you sow. If you lack integrity yourself, you can't expect to find integrity in those around you.

Edit: If you were with someone else just a week into the relationship, that's borderline and maybe not a huge deal. I would explain that to your girlfriend and hopefully she understands. And furthermore, perhaps I am rethinking my stance about him telling her. I guess I assumed you had been with your gf for a while when you cheated)

[Mitsu3000gt]

Definitely a dick move from the friend, but IMO cheating is one of the lowest things someone can do.

Just tell her exactly what you did and when, and hope she decided to keep you around.

[adidas]

Why does it matter? Your gf is probably getting her vocal cords sprayed while you are contemplating killing your friend.

If there is a honest bitch in this day and age, ill put my life on the line.

[Awd-Tsi]

Originally posted by rob the knob
punch him in face

not a true friend

and why you cheat on gf and make secrets
see dog

see dog run

run dog run
:english:

[3drian]

Ok i guess I should add some more to the story, after thinking about this for a while I think i might know why he decided to do that.
not too long ago i went to get a drink with an ex, I havent seen her for like 15 months, and we always stayed friends.. i went alone since it was just catching up, we had a drink talked and then I felt like partying so I called my gf she came to the place where I was, met my ex for the first time and everything was great.. a really good night actually..
next day i texted him and told him what had happened he was like wtf? why would you do that? i was like why not? she is still my friend it was actually nice to talk to her.
last week he sent me a text saying have you talked to your ex since you guys boned last month? (obviously a joke, we joke around like that) I went like haha yes i called her to see if she was preggo or not, then we joke about it for a bit and at the end i did tell him, no man i have actually not talked to her at all and probably wont for another year, she was just for the summer she now lives on the west coast.
so on sat he also told my gf that it was a dick move that I went out with my ex for a bit and that I was such an asshole for doing that.. thing my gf was ok with and wasnt a big deal at all specially cuz she came out after and actually met her.. so I think this was what he was talking about and not what I did a year ago

[Modelexis]

I remember when I was 17.

It sounds like your relationship is lust based and void of substance and anything real. I predict the relationship will evaporate very soon, and if it's dragged out for a long time it will really end badly.

The friend is clearly not a friend, and if you wish to remain friends you need to confront him and ask him to fix the problems he had caused unjustly, if they were in fact un-just.
If the 'friend' refuses to explain the truth to your gf you cannot morally keep contact with this person.

Maybe sit down with your friend and your gf and sort it out.

[D'z Nutz]

Solution: go have the intercourse with his fiancee. Of course, you would end up proving him right... Unless you time it correctly in which you are broken up with your girlfriend.

[Tik-Tok]

A) Does your g/f like your friend? Is she kind of crazy? Is she the type to make this shit up herself so that you won't be friends with him anymore?

B) Was your girlfriend drunk when your buddy told her about this? Possibly he didn't know she was there that night, and just said you went out with your ex, and she (like most girls) took this to mean you cheated on her?

C) It is a dick move, and it isn't. Any long lasting relationship is going to need honesty, and if he did THINK you were cheating on her, it's the kind of thing she would need to know before continuing on that path.

Nothing worse than watching a friend in a relationship that you know will turn into a train wreck down the road. I would definitely ask him WTF? but in a normal conversation, NOT a "already a few beer down, so shit might get out of hand" situation.

[arian_ma]

My question is, why is your friend talking to your girlfriend without you knowing about it? Are they good friends? Or did he meet her through you? Sounds like dude's got some issues. A kiss during the first week of your relationship is not the smartest thing, but definitely not that big of a deal either. Seeing an ex...well who gives a shit??

Your friend sounds like he is not your friend.


Originally posted by Tik-Tok
C) It is a dick move, and it isn't. Any long lasting relationship is going to need honesty, and if he did THINK you were cheating on her, it's the kind of thing she would need to know before continuing on that path.

Nothing worse than watching a friend in a relationship that you know will turn into a train wreck down the road. I would definitely ask him WTF? but in a normal conversation, NOT a "already a few beer down, so shit might get out of hand" situation.

I disagree. If you are watching a friend fuck a relationship up, you talk to your friend. Not to his girlfriend.

[BokCh0y]

Originally posted by arian_ma
My question is, why is your friend talking to your girlfriend without you knowing about it? Are they good friends? Or did he meet her through you? Sounds like dude's got some issues. A kiss during the first week of your relationship is not the smartest thing, but definitely not that big of a deal either. Seeing an ex...well who gives a shit??

Your friend sounds like he is not your friend.



I disagree. If you are watching a friend fuck a relationship up, you talk to your friend. Not to his girlfriend.

^^^^ Totally agree.

I don't care of you cheated or not and with who and how often. That's a different issue and can be argued about by everyone here another time imo.

Your friend is supposed to be your friend, especially when you guys are that "close" from what you've mentioned. And when you share stuff with him that you can't talk about with your gf, then there's a reason he's your best friend and that's what best friends are for.

What your friend did...that isn't a good friend dude. Not sure why the fuck he'd go and start spilling the beans about you to her..but i think there's more to it than you think. Not sure what his motives are, but i think it's time to come clean with your gf before shit really hits the fan. If your gf loves you, things will work out. But this "friend" of yours......there's an unknown code. It's called the bro code.

You NEVER sleep, steal or mess around with a bro's gf/wife. And that goes the same for secrets.

Keep an eye on your friend pal....keep a close eye on him is all i can say.

And goodluck.

[bubbley]

bros before hoes yo

[Tomaz]

Friend sounds like a dick. Talk to him about it.

To work things out with the girl, talk to her and tell her the truth. Everything you have done should be on the table. Let her decide if you are worth keeping around.

The problem with jokes/rumors is that eventually they get misinterpreted as the truth. No matter how obvious you make them.

You, your fiend, and your girl need to start acting right.

[CUG]

Originally posted by J.M.
Were you really cheating on her? That's a separate issue.

OP, your friend is white knighting your girl.

Here's your new and simple angle:

"Sweety, he's telling you that because he wants to sleep with you. Unfortunately I can't be friends with him anymore. He used to say you were smoking hot and I was lucky to have you, I can only guess that his lust for you has grown to be more important than seeing you, or me, happy."

He's done, tell him to hit the fucking road.

[Shax]

I'd say keep an eye on him. I had one of my "best friends" move in on my ex, telling her lies and eventually causing us to break up. Who do you think started dating a week later? (If your really that slow, them) I have a little rule now. If a guy seems shady he probably is. Your life tends to end up being what you surround yourself in. Surround yourself by shady people don't be surprised when shady shit happens.

The kiss on the first week, no big deal. I would have told your girlfriend but that's up to you. Your friends talking negative about you to your woman, well that's a friend you need to lose.

[3drian]

Originally posted by Tomaz


To work things out with the girl, talk to her and tell her the truth. Everything you have done should be on the table. Let her decide if you are worth keeping around.


Funny thing is that our relationship is going great, no problems at all but I do aprecciate your comment you got a good point


It sounds like your relationship is lust based and void of substance and anything real. I predict the relationship will evaporate very soon, and if it's dragged out for a long time it will really end badly.

wtf? where do u get that from? our relationship is awesome




Solution: go have the intercourse with his fiancee. Of course, you would end up proving him right... Unless you time it correctly in which you are broken up with your girlfriend.


:rofl:



A) Does your g/f like your friend? Is she kind of crazy? Is she the type to make this shit up herself so that you won't be friends with him anymore?

she doesnt like him at all, and not she aint crazy she wouldnt make that up, the guy is a total different guy when drunk and he was wasted that night





b) Was your girlfriend drunk when your buddy told her about this? Possibly he didn't know she was there that night, and just said you went out with your ex, and she (like most girls) took this to mean you cheated on her?

he did know everything that happened, which is why im confused why he would say all this crap to my gf




My question is, why is your friend talking to your girlfriend without you knowing about it? Are they good friends? Or did he meet her through you? Sounds like dude's got some issues.

it was a party the house was full everyone was all over the place, they are not good friends but theyve known eachother for a while, she meet him throught me and yes he does have issues when he drinks.



I believe it was a dick move I considered him one of my best friends and he comes and says shit like that? even if I was actually cheating on her (which im not) why wouldnt he talk to me if he was so concern?
Im thinking about giving him a call tonight and be like wtf.. problem is that he will most likely just laugh about it and claim he was just drunk and doesnt remember anything

but thanks for all the comments

[3drian]

Originally posted by CUG
That's a separate issue.

OP, your friend is white knighting your girl.

Here's your new and simple angle:

"Sweety, he's telling you that because he wants to sleep with you. Unfortunately I can't be friends with him anymore. He used to say you were smoking hot and I was lucky to have you, I can only guess that his lust for you has grown to be more important than seeing you, or me, happy."

He's done, tell him to hit the fucking road.

deffenetly a separate issue.. thanks for the comment you nailed it im not gonna trust him anymore... im not willing to risk the awesome relationship i have for this douche that cant control what comes out of his mouth when he is wasted

[gam0s]

if hes your friend he should be guiding your cock not blocking it... what a bitch

[Shax]

Originally posted by 3drian


deffenetly a separate issue.. thanks for the comment you nailed it im not gonna trust him anymore... im not willing to risk the awesome relationship i have for this douche that cant control what comes out of his mouth when he is wasted

Good on you man. It takes balls to see through peoples shit and drop them. Some guys will disagree but look who's wife ends up cheating on them. Don't put up with the bullshit or you will see her slip away.

Now it really depends what is worth more to you. A friendship or a relationship. If this was some 2 week fling I would say friendship but it's not.

[Afrodeziak]

100% agree with this.
Maybe he's got issues with his own relationship and making himself feel/look good to your gf is what it takes for him to feel like a stud.

If you talk to him and he claims it on the "drunk" whoops thing, you have to break it down to him that he's caused some tension and that isn't cool. ie. he needs to apologize/make it right or else you won't see him in the same light.

Compare apples to apples and see how he'd feel if you did the same to his wife, ie. called her and said, your husband isn't all he claims to be, etc.



Originally posted by CUG
That's a separate issue.

OP, your friend is white knighting your girl.

Here's your new and simple angle:

"Sweety, he's telling you that because he wants to sleep with you. Unfortunately I can't be friends with him anymore. He used to say you were smoking hot and I was lucky to have you, I can only guess that his lust for you has grown to be more important than seeing you, or me, happy."

He's done, tell him to hit the fucking road.

[Dave P]

"Yo Dude, was I three way kissing girls last night?

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by 3drian

she doesnt like him at all, and not she aint crazy she wouldnt make that up, the guy is a total different guy when drunk and he was wasted that night



Then possible that she heard this from someone else, and pinned it on your friend?

[3drian]

Originally posted by Afrodeziak
100% agree with this.
Maybe he's got issues with his own relationship and making himself feel/look good to your gf is what it takes for him to feel like a stud.

If you talk to him and he claims it on the "drunk" whoops thing, you have to break it down to him that he's caused some tension and that isn't cool. ie. he needs to apologize/make it right or else you won't see him in the same light.

Compare apples to apples and see how he'd feel if you did the same to his wife, ie. called her and said, your husband isn't all he claims to be, etc.





this is sooo true, he did create tension for a while, we all good now

and the wife example is great, he once sent me a pic of his Fiancés boobs, not flashing but a real close up she sent it to him to be nice and he sent it to make cuz it was "funny" I was like wtf? thats your future wife dont send me shit like that anymore.. so I could tell him how would you feel if I told her u sent me that? itd probably end their relationship on the spot

[3drian]

Originally posted by Tik-Tok


Then possible that she heard this from someone else, and pinned it on your friend?


oh no, I can so see him doing it, he was my number 1 guess the whole time,

[arian_ma]

I'd say give your friend a chance, because really you don't know who's lying here (not implying that your girlfriend is, but you never know what goes on in someone else's head)

If he tries to shake it off as a whoops, tell him to go fuck himself.
If he has a legitimate reason and maybe some of what he said got skewed in the story being retold a couple of times, then ask him to apologize, tell your girl to stop exaggerating, and from there you can decide what to do about your friend.

[adidas]

If you kill him he wont be able to bs your gf anymore, just saying.

[Fcuk]

Best advice IMO is to drop em both.

Start fresh and new and be the best man you can be from now on.

[Scuderia]

Your friends a narc. But bros before hoes. So flip a coin.