What would you do?

[Supa Dexta]

Scenario..

A few of your guy friends have an annual trip away; sort of a boys weekend away. Where its a full out binge drinking, party hard kind of an affair for them, that otherwise lead pretty quiet regular lives.

You've never been on this trip with them due to scheduling conflicts, but are going this year, and have never heard more about it then it being 'a hell of a time' and a 'what happens in XYZ place stays in XYZ' type place, always being the running joke, but these guys being sort of square, you never thought much of it.

You then come to find out these guys really are going full out, different girls every night, booze, drugs you name it, its free game. Mean while the wives and kids are back home...

Now you being single and generally up for anything think the trip sounds like a good idea, and have no problem with the partying....

But you are close to the wives at home and have never seen this side of these guys, who are otherwise stand up, dependable family men

Do you live by the bro's before hoes code?

Do you even go? Or play the if I don't see it, I don't know it happens game?

Does it change anything if one of the guys is family?



... Now I know what you're thinking, but I swear this isn't about me personally. :rofl:

[Sasuke_Kensai]

WWJD?

[D'z Nutz]

You stay back and take care of the wives :poosie:

[Disoblige]

I'd go, have a good time, and see what all the hub·bub is about.

Are you for sure about them going 'full out'? Maybe you'll go and realize it isn't as bad as what you heard.

[Ukyo8]

Originally posted by D'z Nutz
You stay back and take care of the wives :poosie:

:werd:

[turbotrip]

Originally posted by Supa Dexta

Do you live by the bro's before hoes code?


always
unless one of the wives is your sister...

[Dumbass17]

i'd go.
if you don't, then you'll probably always have that 'i wonder if so and so cheated on his wife, should i ask him and tell his wife' mindset.

plus, if one of them DOES cheat, then you can always use that as blackmail in the future :nut:

[Kloubek]

Well first of all, at 35, I probably wouldn't hang with guys who party so hard they are likely to be doing all sorts of things the wives would be unhappy with. I left that life behind me some 10 years ago.

But that aside, if you don't want to be potentially caught in the middle of a moral dillema with them doing things which aren't "right", then if you simply don't go then that will solve any such predicament.

If you DO go, and see such things occur, it is only then that the "Bros before hos" comes into play. If it was me, I would likely remain quiet to the wives - since your friends are your friends and the wives are THEIR wives. Unless one of those wives happens to be a really good friend of yours - in which case you're in a tough spot.

If it was me, I simply wouldn't go if that was something that I was concerned would happen. Then you're not caught in the middle. Even if you know things are going on like that, you don't have to be a part of it, or witness it - and therefore, not feel bad about it.

[BlackRadon]

Hmm, idk. I think I would go. That's what they all says that happens. Doesn't mean it does. Plus your single anyways. Give'r. If they do cheat, karma is a bitch.

But when I first read the post I was thinking more of the lines of what D'z nutz said.:guns:

[Unknown303]

Stay back and have a wife orgy??

[max_boost]

I had to borrow this from JimmyBurner haha


Originally posted by JimmyBurner


http://i525.photobucket.com/albums/cc337/nismoblurr/79913-StopSnitchingTop.jpg

Alright, if you have a moral dilemma, don't go. If you do go, I would just keep quiet.

This is what Chris Rock said, if your woman asks how your night went, just say "it was aights" and leave it at that.

What they don't know won't hurt them.

That's how I look at it.

[JimmyBurner]

Originally posted by max_boost
I had to borrow this from JimmyBurner haha



Alright, if you have a moral dilemma, don't go. If you do go, I would just keep quiet.

This is what Chris Rock said, if your woman asks how your night went, just say "it was aights" and leave it at that.

What they don't know won't hurt them.

That's how I look at it.

LOL:thumbsup:

Shit, if Tomco went, those wives would be on speed dial and everything would be caught on one of those little Sony flip camera's. Don't take Ratco with you.

On a serious note though, Kloubek said it best, depending on your age, some people are way too old to be running around doing stupid shit like that. There's a reason your social life goes downhill when you have a marriage and kids, it's called responsibility. If you can go away every year and inhale a pound of coke while 69ing a Taiwanese tranny then nothing has changed from your single days. You gotta be seriously cold to fuck other bitches and get wasted/high as fuck, and then go home and look your wife and kids in the eye as if nothing happened. This is all aside from the inevitable involvement in other people's drama when someones nosy wife starts asking questions and your on the spot. IMO that's all shit you give up when you decide to grow up and start a family.

Whatever you do though, don't snitch.

[broken_legs]

:whocares:

Having been in this exact same situation and thinking it was strange, then later going on courses to other cities in other countries with guys from work and watching how they behave, i would say this is 100% normal behavior for married men.

Not all men would do this kind of thing, but then again, not all men have the opportunity and the means to do it. I have seen men from all four corners of the earth party and go into the VIP room with hookers, take home dirt bags from bars, and generally act as if they were 21 again.

This is just a fact of life. If you want to tell your friends wife he cheated on her, you should start by telling your own wife that think about other women when you piitb.

stupid to say anything. bro code ftw.

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by Kloubek

If it was me, I simply wouldn't go if that was something that I was concerned would happen. Then you're not caught in the middle. Even if you know things are going on like that, you don't have to be a part of it, or witness it - and therefore, not feel bad about it.

This. Even if I weren't friends with any of the wives, if I knew for fact a friend cheated on his wife, I could never see him the same again, (unless he had good reason, like she was stepping out on him)

So I would just stay out of it altogether.

[KrisYYC]

If you go and the wives somehow get an idea of what went on you will be blamed for it because you're the "single guy". Don't think your friends won't sell you out and use that copp out if they're confronted by their wives too.

[Supa Dexta]

I love how every reply has 'you' or 'your' in it.. :rofl: haha.. It really isn't my issue, but thats beside the point.. I just wanted to see what the general feeling would be towards it, after me and buddy at work were talking about it. Those guys are mid 30s into 40s..

I've actually already been in a similar situation with a close friend. The guy got married despite ...everrrrryone... thinking it wasnt the best decision. He just can't keep it in his pants.. But all you can do is tell him to be good to his wife and not fuck around locally. He's a traveling salesmen, so theres not much else you can do.. :dunno:

[CUG]

^ don't be ashamed of having ethics, just don't let those ethics run you out of having friends. If you feel strongly about it, don't go. If you ever tattled on any of them, it would be very easy for any of your friends to say "umm, he's just trying to have sex with you, he was a weirdo the whole time and we left him at the hotel, so he doesn't know anything that happened". At least that's the angle I'd play if I had a questionable or untrustworthy friend. If they don't love their ladies, that's their issue.

They're in their 30's/40's? Watch out for the possibility of creating a career nightmare for yourself. If it got out that you were trying to white knight some guys wife, it would be a disaster. No matter what, you'll look like you're trying to have sex with the chicks.

[sillysod]

Unless you are hard core Jersey Shore / Depserate Housewives / Housewives of Orange County viewer definately would avoid situation.

IMO it's a great way to find yourself stuck in a lot of drama.
http://i623.photobucket.com/albums/tt319/kb_45/situation.gif

[ExtraSlow]

I have an annual boys trip to Vegas with a group of about eight guys. The talk between us would make you belive that we spent all trip drugged up and fucking all the stange tail we could find.

The truth is that most of us are really well behaved, aside from drinking a bit too much.

I suspect your "I swear this is hypothetical" situation is a lot like this.

If "your friend" does go on this trip and sees something that bothers him, that's a problem between him and his friends. Nothing to do with the wives.

[Supa Dexta]

No Im serious, its not hypothetical at all.. Its just not me going.. :rofl: But I would if I was invited.. Cause I dont know them or their wives :(

[CUG]

Originally posted by Supa Dexta
No Im serious, its not hypothetical at all.. Its just not me going.. :rofl: But I would if I was invited.. Cause I dont know them or their wives :( Sure brother, just don't go telling on anyone alright? :rofl:

[arian_ma]

Unless the chicks are family or you are really close friends (better than the husband) with any of them, go have fun and stay out of it. I don't think anyone can blame the "single guy" when they've been going on the same trip for several years.

Also, CUG, I see where you're coming from but I don't think the "he's trying to have sex with you," line would work that way in a situation like that.

[Supa Dexta]

haha fuk you guys!

Im always down to party! And I keep my mouth shut.

[arian_ma]

Originally posted by Supa Dexta
haha fuk you guys!

Im always down to party! And I keep my mouth shut.

You, him, whatever. It's just easier to say you because there's no-one else to refer to lol

[Supa Dexta]

Lets just call him.... Dupa Sexta

...yes.. thats it

:rofl:

[Jlude]

It's none of your business...

You keep your mouth shut and take care of your own shit. Women are evil creatures, and cannot be trusted.


Sounds like your "friend" isn't going to be comfortable going on this trip, so I would advise "him" to not go at all... it'll be easier on "him".

[speedog]

Jlude's last sentence above is spot on.

Your friend appears to have certain ethical standards that are obviously not in line with his friends and it is probably ill-advised to have himself be placed in a situation where he could possibly be forced to compromise these standards for the years to come. And besides that, karma's a bitch that will most likely slap this guy's friends right square in the face at some point in the future - been on this big, old ball of dirt long enough to see karma come back a' slapping many times over.

[syeve]

I know it's been said, but one more vote - Don't say shit to anyone.

Stay out of peoples business, nothing good can come from "your friend" saying anything at all.

I wouldn't have even posted it here, stuff has a funny way of being connected and distributed.

[max_boost]

Good intentions will be punished. It's not your job to police your friends actions, marriage and family life.

When shit hits the fan and it comes back to "your friend" aka you haha :rofl:, just say:

"I didn't know". :confused:

LOL

[TKRIS]

^I agree with that.
But better yet, don't know shit like that about your friends at all.

Obviously, it's an ethical and or moral issue. But it's also a character issue.

I have 2 problems with this situation:
First, I don't want to know about something like that. I'm not interested in being involved with keeping secrets like that. If some random person cheats on their significant other, I'd hope they had to face the consequences of their actions. That sentiments doesn't change just because the person in question happens to be my friend.
Secondly, I have no interest in being around people of poor character. If one of my friends cheats on his wife, he's not going to be my friend anymore, because my friends don't do shit like that. I'm no saint, but I'm not going to hang around with people who are deceitful. Not only do I not want to be around that type of behavior, but it reflects poorly on me by association. I don't hang out with thieves, rapists or confidence men either.

Call me what you will, but not only would I not go, I wouldn't hang out with any of the people who did anymore either.

[maxomilll]

Originally posted by TKRIS
^I agree with that.
But better yet, don't know shit like that about your friends at all.

Obviously, it's an ethical and or moral issue. But it's also a character issue.

I have 2 problems with this situation:
First, I don't want to know about something like that. I'm not interested in being involved with keeping secrets like that. If some random person cheats on their significant other, I'd hope they had to face the consequences of their actions. That sentiments doesn't change just because the person in question happens to be my friend.
Secondly, I have no interest in being around people of poor character. If one of my friends cheats on his wife, he's not going to be my friend anymore, because my friends don't do shit like that. I'm no saint, but I'm not going to hang around with people who are deceitful. Not only do I not want to be around that type of behavior, but it reflects poorly on me by association. I don't hang out with thieves, rapists or confidence men either.

Call me what you will, but not only would I not go, I wouldn't hang out with any of the people who did anymore either.



best said reply :clap:

[msommers]

Originally posted by TKRIS
^I agree with that.
But better yet, don't know shit like that about your friends at all.

Obviously, it's an ethical and or moral issue. But it's also a character issue.

I have 2 problems with this situation:
First, I don't want to know about something like that. I'm not interested in being involved with keeping secrets like that. If some random person cheats on their significant other, I'd hope they had to face the consequences of their actions. That sentiments doesn't change just because the person in question happens to be my friend.
Secondly, I have no interest in being around people of poor character. If one of my friends cheats on his wife, he's not going to be my friend anymore, because my friends don't do shit like that. I'm no saint, but I'm not going to hang around with people who are deceitful. Not only do I not want to be around that type of behavior, but it reflects poorly on me by association. I don't hang out with thieves, rapists or confidence men either.

Call me what you will, but not only would I not go, I wouldn't hang out with any of the people who did anymore either.

I'm the same way. I hold integrity and honesty extremely high in any relationship, friendship or family.

I know of someone that cheated on their bf, I haven't looked at her same way since.

Jlude, you sound like you have some real anger towards women. How come?

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by Jlude
It's none of your business...

You keep your mouth shut and take care of your own shit.


So if you knew of a group of wives having a once a year weekend, where they snort coke, get gangbanged, and fuck every guy that moves.... you would have no problems NOT telling their husbands, whom you're also friends with?


Originally posted by Jlude
Women are evil creatures, and cannot be trusted.



All women are whores, except for mom... and dad knows better. :rofl:

[Jlude]

Originally posted by msommers


I'm the same way. I hold integrity and honesty extremely high in any relationship, friendship or family.

I know of someone that cheated on their bf, I haven't looked at her same way since.

Jlude, you sound like you have some real anger towards women. How come?

Hahaha... I really don't. Well, not really... haha





Originally posted by Tik-Tok


So if you knew of a group of wives having a once a year weekend, where they snort coke, get gangbanged, and fuck every guy that moves.... you would have no problems NOT telling their husbands, whom you're also friends with?


Like TKRIS said... I'd rather not know anything at all, because it's none of my business, I'll take care of my business, let everyone else worry about their own.


Originally posted by Tik-Tok

All women are whores, except for mom... and dad knows better. :rofl:

:werd: :thumbsup: :rofl:

[A790]

Honor above all things.

If you can't abide by your ethical responsibilities by going on this trip, then don't go. What these guys are doing is far from ethically sound, but at the same time, their decisions and choices are theirs to make.

Ultimately, you only have control over your actions. If it bothers you, choose to act in a way where you are comfortable with the decisions that you've made/will make.

[CUG]

Originally posted by arian_ma

Also, CUG, I see where you're coming from but I don't think the "he's trying to have sex with you," line would work that way in a situation like that. Sorry, I just remembered being tattled on for talking to a girl who I was friends with in High School, she was married and had a kid, but the "witness" (my friend at the time) was sure we were exchanging numbers and made the story sound worse than if I was putting my back into it in the middle of the street with cameras rolling. I wasn't even in the mood to explain myself, so I just let it all fall where it did. The goofball who was telling stories is married to a woman even I wouldn't admit to sleeping with.

I think he should play the good guy and skip the trip if it's such a pressing emotional issue for whoever.

As for picking friends, I'm really impressed with how many people here found sinless groups of friends. Who would have thought Beyond.ca housed such a moral and ethical jackpot!

[Supa Dexta]

Thats how us millionaires roll!

See you guy's in church later, make sure you don't speed on the way there...

annnhhhh I know you wouldnt. :love:

[arian_ma]

Originally posted by CUG
As for picking friends, I'm really impressed with how many people here found sinless groups of friends. Who would have thought Beyond.ca housed such a moral and ethical jackpot!
Are you kidding? You speeding, druggy rapist. We will add cheater to that mix.

Haha all jokes aside though, this is never a good situation and happens all too often.

[calgary403]

Whatever you do don't inform the wives in a note. You saw what happened to J-Wow and Snooki!! :rofl: :rofl:

http://cdn.sheknows.com/realitytvmagazine/2010/07/jersey-shore-ronnie-ortiz-magro-wants-to-buy-home-in-miami.jpg

[Idratherbsidewayz]

Originally posted by Tik-Tok
All women are whores, except for mom... and dad knows better. :rofl:

Agreeeed. It seems all the friends of the married chick I'm banging cheat on their husbands (maybe whores stick together). One even brings the bf to house parties while the husband is there.

:facepalm:

Marriage is a sham...


Originally posted by CUG
As for picking friends, I'm really impressed with how many people here found sinless groups of friends. Who would have thought Beyond.ca housed such a moral and ethical jackpot!

LOL, so many high horses. In reality, people are all pieces of shit. May as well enjoy yourself...

Go enjoy the debauchery, but I'm sure it's nowhere near as exciting/scandalous as it sounds.

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by CUG

As for picking friends, I'm really impressed with how many people here found sinless groups of friends. Who would have thought Beyond.ca housed such a moral and ethical jackpot!

It's easy when you only have one or two real friends, and considered everyone else dispensable associates. :rofl:

Really though, I cut ties to a dozen "friends" in the past decade, who I just couldn't handle anymore, too much drama, a lot of which I got mixed up in. Every week something would come up, that in my head, all I could think of was "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" :facepalm:

I'd never squeal on someone, but I would avoid and dis-associate myself with anyone who couldn't own up to their own faults and errors. Call it a "high horse" if you want, but I feel better knowing I'm doing what I think is ethical and right.

[89s1]

Originally posted by A790
Honor above all things.

If you can't abide by your ethical responsibilities by going on this trip, then don't go. What these guys are doing is far from ethically sound, but at the same time, their decisions and choices are theirs to make.

Ultimately, you only have control over your actions. If it bothers you, choose to act in a way where you are comfortable with the decisions that you've made/will make.

There are many replies that sum up my attitude towards it, this and what TKRIS said do a very good job.


I once had a chick straddling me naked, and had her necklace dangling in my face, I told her I liked her necklace, she told me "her boyfriend" gave it to her, I said, "you mean your ex?" She's like "no... teeheehee" She was lucky to even get a ride home.

Scandalous cunts.

[in*10*se]

Originally posted by A790
Honor above all things.

If you can't abide by your ethical responsibilities by going on this trip, then don't go. What these guys are doing is far from ethically sound, but at the same time, their decisions and choices are theirs to make.

Ultimately, you only have control over your actions. If it bothers you, choose to act in a way where you are comfortable with the decisions that you've made/will make.

:werd:

unless its your sister thats getting screwed over. then go and rat. family above all things. unless you hate your sister.

[in*10*se]

Originally posted by 89s1


There are many replies that sum up my attitude towards it, this and what TKRIS said do a very good job.


I once had a chick straddling me naked, and had her necklace dangling in my face, I told her I liked her necklace, she told me "her boyfriend" gave it to her, I said, "you mean your ex?" She's like "no... teeheehee" She was lucky to even get a ride home.

Scandalous cunts.

seriously? :whocares: I woulda probably fucked her harder just for that ;)

[polarice]

If their wives ask them about it and say something along of the lines of "were you faithful, or did you flirt/hook up/make out" would they answer honestly?

If they would lie, then I would think they are sacks of shit. Do what ever you want but at least have the integrity to own up to it. I mean what if these guys got a girl pregnant, or had an STD/I would they tell their wives then? Worst case scenario but again you cannot help but feel bad for the women staying at home with the kids.

UNLESS of course the women get to fuck around as well. As long as open relationships are consensual and not a by product of cheating made to be okay, then I think its alright.

That doesn't sound like my type of weekend anyways, and I wouldn't go based on that, nor do I surround my self with friends who are like that.

[TKRIS]

Originally posted by CUG
As for picking friends, I'm really impressed with how many people here found sinless groups of friends. Who would have thought Beyond.ca housed such a moral and ethical jackpot!

Some people need to be friends with anyone who will have them.
Some are more selective.

If you hang around with dishonest people, you're not allowed to play the poor bereaved victim when you inevitably end up getting screwed over.

You make that bed and you are going to end up sleeping in it.

[arian_ma]

TKRIS, are you of the opinion that people treat all of the people in their lives the exact same way?

The way I see it, someone who cheats on their wife could still be a great friend, a great dad, a great whatever. It's pretty unfair to judge someone's entire moral stance based on one thing. How do you know that his wife isn't a cause of huge problems in his life and that leads him to "cheat"?

[Kloubek]

Originally posted by CUG
As for picking friends, I'm really impressed with how many people here found sinless groups of friends. Who would have thought Beyond.ca housed such a moral and ethical jackpot!

Sinless? Hell no. But I choose not to associate myself on a regular basis with people who engage in obviously undesirable practices. It's a well known fact that people adapt themselves to the crowd they hang out with. Not sure if it is due to peer pressure or just a subconcious "molding" (moulding? Always had problems with these two versions of the word) of the person to their environment. But I generally choose not to involve myself with people who do things which contradict my moral beliefs.

Call it a moral "guilty by association" thought process....

It's the same reason I don't hang out with crackheads, drug dealers, or thieves.

[TKRIS]

Originally posted by arian_ma
The way I see it, someone who rapes coeds could still be a great friend, a great dad, a great whatever. It's pretty unfair to judge someone's entire moral stance based on one thing.


Originally posted by arian_ma
The way I see it, someone who steals cars could still be a great friend, a great dad, a great whatever. It's pretty unfair to judge someone's entire moral stance based on one thing.


Originally posted by arian_ma
The way I see it, someone who sells crack to kids could still be a great friend, a great dad, a great whatever. It's pretty unfair to judge someone's entire moral stance based on one thing.

We ALL make mistakes. I'm certainly no exception to that rule. I have far more in life than I probably deserve. That said, it's how we learn, react to, and change because of, or sometimes in spite of, these mistakes that speaks to our character.

Making a mistake is inevitable. Making a mistake just means you're human.
Rationalizing it so you can continue to make it over and over again speaks directly to your character.

As an example:
Getting drunk off your ass after having a huge fight with your wife and fucking a waitress is different than planning an annual trip away from your wife and kids so that you can fuck strippers.
I'm not saying I'm "OK" with the first scenario, but the type of premeditation, rationalization, and emotional indifference shown in the second makes it a completely different animal.


Originally posted by Kloubek


Sinless? Hell no. But I choose not to associate myself on a regular basis with people who engage in obviously undesirable practices. It's a well known fact that people adapt themselves to the crowd they hang out with. Not sure if it is due to peer pressure or just a subconcious "molding" (moulding? Always had problems with these two versions of the word) of the person to their environment. But I generally choose not to involve myself with people who do things which contradict my moral beliefs.

Call it a moral "guilty by association" thought process....

It's the same reason I don't hang out with crackheads, drug dealers, or thieves.

Agreed.
Choose to spend time with people who make you a better person.

[arian_ma]

Ah that makes it more clear. It's sort of like a "first degree" crime to you in this sense then.

[CUG]

Originally posted by TKRIS


Some people need to be friends with anyone who will have them.
Some are more selective.

If you hang around with dishonest people, you're not allowed to play the poor bereaved victim when you inevitably end up getting screwed over.

You make that bed and you are going to end up sleeping in it. I just don't buy the idea that you or others like you in this thread have denounced all who exist that may have flexible ethics, especially considering some of the people saying this seem to be coming from the intelligent crowd. Granted, I have a friend from when I was 10 who in the last 2 years became a devout criminal; we don't hang out anymore, but I don't ignore the once-in-a-while calls I get from him; I grew up with the guy.

I suppose I should have specified the "level" of acquaintance in my query. Business wise, I've befriended people of definitive devolving ethics in relation to fidelity. It puts food on the table. These aren't the same people I'm telling the peanut-butter + family dog stories to though. (No, I didn't actually do that)

For the record, I've never cheated on any girl I've dated. I haven't had to.