Vasectomy time!

[ExtraSlow]

Freezing was worse than procedure for me with Crouse.

[speedog]

I was squeamish reading this entire paragraph.

I've been thinking about getting.this done - believing it was almost painless. (Buying into the radio ads, obviously). Now I'm nervous.

Cut open my arm I am fine with it. But these are my balls, man...

Already had a colonoscapy. That was emasculating enough...

Ffs, quit being a pansy.

[suntan]

6 weeks so far for me now. No nut tugs, a sensation of blueballs once in awhile that seems to be lessening with time.

First time sex was hilarious and horrifying at the same time. Crouse mentioned the first few ejaculates might have some blood. Fapped a few times after a week with nothing to note, but the first sexy fun times resulted in a blood bath facial for my wife. It was pure fucking red jizz. I thought I broke an artery or something, but everything felt fine. Her face was pretty much a reverse red wings.

82558

86718

[Toilet_X]

This is the most beautiful thing ive ever read. Tears.

[bigbadboss101]

Calling tomorrow....

[ExtraSlow]

Best call ever

[ThePenIsMightier]

Gets nuts clipped to reduce risk of preggers.
Blows load on Wifey's face.
Profit?

[Buster]

Gets nuts clipped to reduce risk of preggers.
Blows load on Wifey's face.
Profit?

he hadn't gotten the all-clear from the swimmer counters prolly.

[ExtraSlow]

Blow load on busters wife's face, profit!

[Buster]

ES got into the Costco eggnog again.

[ThePenIsMightier]

Costco eggnog regrows vasdeferens.
#TheMoreYouKnow

I heard from a friend that when they tell you to take your sample to "Calgary South Health" that it's def not the same place as South Health Campus. You can throw it on the wall there and there still won't be anyone available capable of counting to zero.

[ExtraSlow]

ES got into the Costco eggnog again.
Accurate. Don't drink and post kiddies.

[Buster]

lol.

When I did my vasectomy in June, I immediately labelled the sample collection paperwork and jar for Sept 18th as a reminder to knock one out that day and take it in. In the end, I ended up never seeming to have the time in the mornings after that date to actually take the sample and get down to the lab before 10am. Finally in December I got around to it - took my samples (best part of my day), and headed into the lab. Of course it was full of old-timers waiting for their whatever tests and they all stared at me. (Why can't the give you a paper bag instead of a clear plastic bag??!). Anyway, I head up to the counter and the lady looks at me? "Vasectomy sample?" she says loudly. Now the old-timers are really paying attention.

She then looks at the bag, closely, looks at the dates on the paper and the jar (which still say Sept 18th because I forgot), and says loudly: "Sir, we CANNOT accept 3 month old samples!". Now the group of old-timers is on full alert. I think I blurt out something about it being a "new" sample and she asks how old? I said about 20 minutes or so, because of traffic. She hands me a sharpie right there at the desk, pulls everything out of the baggie and puts it on the counter and gets me to change the dates right there.

Thanks lab lady!

My time to cover the distance to the door from the counter was a record, I bet.

[benyl]

lol.

When I did my vasectomy in June, I immediately labelled the sample collection paperwork and jar for Sept 18th as a reminder to knock one out that day and take it in. In the end, I ended up never seeming to have the time in the mornings after that date to actually take the sample and get down to the lab before 10am. Finally in December I got around to it - took my samples (best part of my day), and headed into the lab. Of course it was full of old-timers waiting for their whatever tests and they all stared at me. (Why can't the give you a paper bag instead of a clear plastic bag??!). Anyway, I head up to the counter and the lady looks at me? "Vasectomy sample?" she says loudly. Now the old-timers are really paying attention.

She then looks at the bag, closely, looks at the dates on the paper and the jar (which still say Sept 18th because I forgot), and says loudly: "Sir, we CANNOT accept 3 month old samples!". Now the group of old-timers is on full alert. I think I blurt out something about it being a "new" sample and she asks how old? I said about 20 minutes or so, because of traffic. She hands me a sharpie right there at the desk, pulls everything out of the baggie and puts it on the counter and gets me to change the dates right there.

Thanks lab lady!

My time to cover the distance to the door from the counter was a record, I bet.

ROFL :rofl: :rofl:

[JRSC00LUDE]

lol.

When I did my vasectomy in June, I immediately labelled the sample collection paperwork and jar for Sept 18th as a reminder to knock one out that day and take it in. In the end, I ended up never seeming to have the time in the mornings after that date to actually take the sample and get down to the lab before 10am. Finally in December I got around to it - took my samples (best part of my day), and headed into the lab. Of course it was full of old-timers waiting for their whatever tests and they all stared at me. (Why can't the give you a paper bag instead of a clear plastic bag??!). Anyway, I head up to the counter and the lady looks at me? "Vasectomy sample?" she says loudly. Now the old-timers are really paying attention.

She then looks at the bag, closely, looks at the dates on the paper and the jar (which still say Sept 18th because I forgot), and says loudly: "Sir, we CANNOT accept 3 month old samples!". Now the group of old-timers is on full alert. I think I blurt out something about it being a "new" sample and she asks how old? I said about 20 minutes or so, because of traffic. She hands me a sharpie right there at the desk, pulls everything out of the baggie and puts it on the counter and gets me to change the dates right there.

Thanks lab lady!

My time to cover the distance to the door from the counter was a record, I bet.

They way they treat you at almost any clinic or lab is fucking ridiculous, the whole room of strangers knows your business but then they pretend to make a big deal of privacy laws.

[ExtraSlow]

I blame the private delivery of lab services.

[Buster]

I blame the private delivery of lab services.

private labs would have back rooms with fluffers.

[bigbadboss101]

So no strenuous exercises for a week after procedure? Many years ago I had arthroscopic knee surgery and doctor said take it easy for 4 weeks. Went to play sports the week after and found out why they recommended rest. Should be able to go to gym as long as it’s not squats or kickboxing though.

[Toilet_X]

If any of you are interested in a vasectomy, I have my own clinic going. I perform oral vasectomy, I practice on cherry stems with my tongue, so you KNOW im good.

[The_Rural_Juror]

If any of you are interested in a vasectomy, I have my own clinic going. I perform oral vasectomy, I practice on cherry stems with my tongue, so you KNOW im good.

How much are you paying for referrals?

[bigbadboss101]

Had mine done on Tuesday. Pretty much exactly what Swank mentioned. Had the Asian guy, nice guy. Dr Crouse was super polite and helpful. The staff were nice. Day after so far no pain, knock on wood. Using the ice pack and the meds but if no pain going forward will stop the Ty. No noticeable swelling either.

My wife keeps telling me to not bend over or lift things, even if it’s to pick up our 12 lb dog. Even our 5 year old daughter is asking if she can help daddy. Working from home the rest of the week. I supposed I could have asked for sick days. Oh well.

[jwslam]

89825

[z24_wheels]

lol @ creme pies

[benyl]

Joined the club on Thursday. So far so good. Just a dull ache on da ballz.

Didn’t take the Tylenol on day 1 and only took 1 Advil on the morning of day 2. Let’s see how day 3 goes today.

[ExtraSlow]

Congratulations brother.

[rage2]

Skeet skeet

[benyl]

Sterility confirmed! No more kids!!!!

Haha, so anyway, my experience was pretty good. I went back to building a retaining wall about a week later. Was back on the Mountain Bike after 2 weeks. No tugs or weirdness. No cum blast of blood.

Nice thing about Covid timing is that I didn't need to take anytime off work.

[The_Rural_Juror]

Congratulations?

[ExtraSlow]

Getting that confirmation is a great moment. Truly wonderful.

[The_Rural_Juror]

Personal opinion. After the first 10 months of 2020, I would prefer to see more Benyls breeding in the world than some others. Hope he knocked up some hos before snipping.

[Disoblige]

Personal opinion. After the first 10 months of 2020, I would prefer to see more Benyls breeding in the world than some others. Hope he knocked up some hos before snipping.
Why break up and be lonely during Covid when you can have 5 kids to be the glue to your miserable relationship?

[benyl]

Personal opinion. After the first 10 months of 2020, I would prefer to see more Benyls breeding in the world than some others. Hope he knocked up some hos before snipping.

I feel so loved.

[The_Rural_Juror]

Why break up and be lonely during Covid when you can have 5 kids to be the glue to your miserable relationship?

I'm just saying that we could use more Republicans.

[Kloubek]

No cum blast of blood.

There's an image I did not want...

[asp integra]

Where did you go?
After a recent scare we realized that we are happy with two, no more kids for this guy!

Looking to book sooner than later.

[The_Rural_Juror]

Where did you go?
After a recent scare we realized that we are happy with two, no more kids for this guy!

Looking to book sooner than later.

Intramed has a good history of not stealing your balls to resell in the black market.

[you&me]

Intramed has a good history of not stealing your balls to resell in the black market.

Just one time is too many

[01RedDX]

.

[The_Rural_Juror]

Just one time is too many

It's dead weight anyway. I would have appreciated if they gave me a choice to sell both.

[ExtraSlow]

It's dead weight anyway. I would have appreciated if they gave me a choice to sell both.

Fuck me, I would have entertained offers on mine at the time, I was pretty broke!

[never]

Fuck me, I would have entertained offers on mine at the time, I was pretty broke!

Takes a lot of balls to admit that.

[rage2]

There's an image I did not want...
95174

[dirtsniffer]

Is this free or what?

[rage2]

Is this free or what?
Intramed is like $50 or $100? The base procedure is covered by Alberta Health. The $50 or $100 is the tip for grabbing your junk. I think.

[dirtsniffer]

That's good. Depending on how they calculate the size of the tip I should get a discount.

[benyl]

I think I paid $225 or $250.

Usually you get to finish at least once for that price. Instead, you get two different dudes touching your balls. One takes you dick and tapes it to your belly button, the other one BBQs your nuts.

All around good time was had by all.

[ThePenIsMightier]

I think I paid $225 or $250.

Usually you get to finish at least once for that price. Instead, you get two different dudes touching your balls. One takes you dick and tapes it to your belly button, the other one BBQs your nuts.

All around good time was had by all.

Wait - what!!?
They just set a racquetball eye patch over mine. Is this results not typical!??

[never]

Usually you get to finish at least once for that price. Instead, you get two different dudes touching your balls. One takes you dick and tapes it to your belly button, the other one BBQs your nuts.



I only had one guy...he didn't need the second guy because he just told me to tuck it under my chin and hold it out of the way. Was a little awkward but...meh.

[spike98]

Intramed is like $50 or $100? The base procedure is covered by Alberta Health. The $50 or $100 is the tip for grabbing your junk. I think.

Mine was $50 at Intramed. Its probably for the grab bag they give you when you leave.

Crouse had my balls in his hand and was asking me what my favorite chips were as his assistant was shoving goodies into the bag. Amazing.

[cyra1ax]

I have nothing to add to this thread other than it brought me a link to this awesome story haha.
https://forums.beyond.ca/threads/168521-Get-A-Vasectomy-But-Keep-It-A-Secret!

[killramos]

Mine was $50 at Intramed. Its probably for the grab bag they give you when you leave.

Crouse had my balls in his hand and was asking me what my favorite chips were as his assistant was shoving goodies into the bag. Amazing.

That’s a man who loves his job

[never]

That’s a man who loves his job

The doctors that do it may not love it but they definitely love the amount of money they can make pumping out so many simple procedures!

[killramos]

The doctors that do it may not love it but they definitely love the amount of money they can make pumping out so many simple procedures!

Lots of ways to slice net job satisfaction that’s for sure.

[Disoblige]

I like spikerS' story more. Where a hot doctor came in and something about the doctor flicking his balls to tame his erection.

Or that's what I keep thinking the story was...

[skandalouz_08]

Just got back from Dr. Crouse, glad I had 18 pages of comments to read through before I went in. Was really fast and efficient and no hot nurses in sight... Now to wait for the freezing to wear off and see what kind of pain I'll be in.

[ExtraSlow]

Take it easy, use the peas, take it easy some more.

[Darell_n]

This is your last opportunity in your life to play the sympathy card to your wife. Use it wisely, my friend.

[legendboy]

2021 update, balls are fine, pain free and sterile. I have met a few guys over the year who made their woman get their tubes tied, shame on you selfish bastards!
Glad my post is still a living thread, I consider this my lifetime ultimate contribution to the internet :D

[skandalouz_08]

This is your last opportunity in your life to play the sympathy card to your wife. Use it wisely, my friend.

Oh, for sure. I got to play it a couple years ago with laser eye surgery for a day. This one is much better as I can actually sit on my phone/laptop/watch TV rather than laying in a dark room.
ExtraSlow - the gel ice pads they give out are money, no peas here!

[ExtraSlow]

I went back to peas. Delicious.

[ThePenIsMightier]

2021 update, balls are fine, pain free and sterile. I have met a few guys over the year who made their woman get their tubes tied, shame on you selfish bastards!
Glad my post is still a living thread, I consider this my lifetime ultimate contribution to the internet :D

Boy: you a Legend!

[JRSC00LUDE]

I went back to peas. Delicious.

#dickpeas

[ExtraSlow]

#thosetaintpeas

[benyl]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwulM1sTrxc

[Cagare]

Just had mine done on June 1. Pain was very very low after the fact. That is one efficient procedure.

Some swelling and the occasional ball tug, but all in all was pretty smooth. Just the occasional icing and I am good now.

[Darell_n]

It’s a good feeling to get vasectomated and stop being contagious to the opposite gender.

[ExtraSlow]

It’s a good feeling to get vasectomated and stop being contagious to the opposite gender.

Like

[bjstare]

Got mine done today. Glad to get it over with, but feeling reasonably uncomfortable right now. I was expecting very little discomfort, but that’s not the case. Definitely moving slow.

Doesn’t help that both kids want to come jump on my lap every 3 mins, and the older one keeps trying to peek down my sweatpants to see what the doctor did :rofl:

[ExtraSlow]

Just don't walk around much if you can help it. Serious, don't move. All the guys I know with big swelling admit they overdid things. Sit still, keep 'em cold, drink a couple beers, and you'll be shooting blanks in no time.

[suntan]

Got mine done today. Glad to get it over with, but feeling reasonably uncomfortable right now. I was expecting very little discomfort, but that’s not the case. Definitely moving slow.

Doesn’t help that both kids want to come jump on my lap every 3 mins, and the older one keeps trying to peek down my sweatpants to see what the doctor did :rofl:

Hopefully the wife will want to do that soon enough.

[ExtraSlow]

It was a while ago for me, but is there still a certain number of loads that need to be dumped before your sterility test? Make reaching that number a responsibility with the wife, and promise a big celebration when the results come back. Vasectomies can be sexy.

[bjstare]

3mo, 20 loads.

[SJW]

It was a while ago for me, but is there still a certain number of loads that need to be dumped before your sterility test? Make reaching that number a responsibility with the wife, and promise a big celebration when the results come back. Vasectomies can be sexy.

I never did the sterility test. I'm that confident.

[suntan]

I dunno, I've seen a lot of sjws around.

[ExtraSlow]

I got a few extra blowjobs out of my system. Plus I wanted the test, I was terrified of more kids. win-win.

[suntan]

I got a few extra blowjobs out of my system. Plus I wanted the test, I was terrified of more kids. win-win.

Not sure how you giving BJs helped.

[ExtraSlow]

You sure didn't complain.

[suntan]

Hey beggars can't be choosers.

[npham]

Got mine done today. Glad to get it over with, but feeling reasonably uncomfortable right now. I was expecting very little discomfort, but that’s not the case. Definitely moving slow.

Doesn’t help that both kids want to come jump on my lap every 3 mins, and the older one keeps trying to peek down my sweatpants to see what the doctor did :rofl:

Where did you go? One is enough for us...

[bjstare]

Intramed. Seamless experience. Pay the extra $50 to get the consult+procedure in one appt. My appt was 9am, and I was sitting in the waiting room, snipped and relaxing with ice on my junk by 9:30.

[Tik-Tok]

Where did you go? One is enough for us...

One vasectomy should be all you need.

[ThePenIsMightier]

One vasectomy should be all you need.

You're on a roll, today!

But he's gots two nuts!!¡

[prae]

After givin' me a good fondling, Dr Crouse turned me away, my balls are too weird. He warned me never to let anyone operate on them lest I end up with a lifetime of being like rage2, which is decidedly a fate I wished to avoid.

The wife was unimpressed.

[schurchill39]

After givin' me a good fondling, Dr Crouse turned me away, my balls are too weird.
Pics or it didn't happen

[rage2]

After givin' me a good fondling, Dr Crouse turned me away, my balls are too weird. He warned me never to let anyone operate on them lest I end up with a lifetime of being like rage2, which is decidedly a fate I wished to avoid.

The wife was unimpressed.
My phantom tugs went away so it ain't that bad.

[prae]

Pics or it didn't happen

I believe this one falls under the category of "fuck around and find out"...

- - - Updated - - -


My phantom tugs went away so it ain't that bad.

Great to hear!

[ExtraSlow]

Little update for me, I had a trip to Las Vegas exactly 14 days after my procedure. Let me tell you, those aggressive russian strippers certainly tested the limits of my recovery. I found the lap dances pretty uncomfortable. Probably saved me a bunch of money. Those "little pulling sensations" that I was getting occasionally are 99% gone now, had one this week. Seems to be kind of random.

As for driving home, I drove myself home, and I didn't have issues. However, you want to be gentle with yourself. It would be stupid to get yourself into a car accident if you felt nauseous or something.

Quoted for posterity from my 2015 procedure.

[asp integra]

Quoted for posterity from my 2015 procedure.

pics of agressive russian strippers

[vengie]

Three months away from my wife and I's agreed upon "one year after our son is born" decision.

Look forward to joining the club

[ExtraSlow]

pics of agressive russian strippers

I swear in vegas strip clubs, at least 50% of the white girls are russian, ukranian, or some other kind of east-euro. This year, they all said Ukrainian or Polish, but I'm sure they are the same mix of nationalities as before.