The wave makes it all okay

[speedog]

Twice in less than the last 10 blocks in my commute home today - experienced the wave from a mid-30's-50's lady. The wave which to them makes it okay to break the law and almost create an accident or not move over to the right on a snow clogged residential street. This wave is usually accompanied by an idyllic grin/smile, but still I don't get it. I don't see men as a rule or youger women doing this wave thing. Or older folks (50+).

Some day, I might just follow one of these wavers after they've placed themselves and myself in a dangerous situation due to their poor driving skills and ask them what the wave was all about.

Then again maybe they just like waving, I really don't know.

[Sentry]

Originally posted by speedog
a mid-30's-50's lady
These people are the worst. Not just in driving, but at everything, and I hate being around them. They have this air of self entitlement.

It's like when they turn 30 something makes them insane.

[ShermanEF9]

i got cut off by a lady once who found it hilarious that i had to brake hard on the highway because of it. needless to say she got an earful when she pulled over for gas.

[Twin_Cam_Turbo]

The wave does not make it ok!

[Mibz]

I always assume the wave is an apology. Whether I'm right or not, it's the only thing stopping me from raging.

[Sugarphreak]

...

[TorqueDog]

I almost got t-boned by some idiot who nearly ran the yield sign. Little older Chinese lady. She waved.


That actually made me even more mad, because her facial expression totally said "Heh, sorry. Oh, I'll wave, now I'm in the clear again". You almost hit someone. Wake the fuck up.

[J-hop]

Originally posted by speedog


Some day, I might just follow one of these wavers after they've placed themselves and myself in a dangerous situation due to their poor driving skills and ask them what the wave was all about.


I did exactly this last summer, guy gave a sheepish wave after he blew a stop sign and crossed over the road I was driving on and I nearly hit him. I slammed on the brakes and followed him until he stopped at a house and got out. So I got out and started reeming him out as his GF came out of the house all done up to go out and stared at me in shock as I was yelling at her BF.

I hope I ruined their night.

[TomcoPDR]

Originally posted by J-hop


I did exactly this last summer, guy gave a sheepish wave after he blew a stop sign and crossed over the road I was driving on and I nearly hit him. I slammed on the brakes and followed him until he stopped at a house and got out. So I got out and started reeming him out as his GF came out of the house all done up to go out and stared at me in shock as I was yelling at her BF.

I hope I ruined their night.

3some?

[black13]

Originally posted by Sugarphreak


I have to agree, at least it is an acknowledgment of some kind. The worst is nearly getting hit & cut off by some jerk on a cell phone who hasn't even realized anything has occurred.

This has happened to me twice this week. But I make them realize it with the horn. And then at the next set of red lights when we are side by side they always stop a bit before my car so they avoid the "WTF" look.

[benyl]

Originally posted by Sentry

These people are the worst. Not just in driving, but at everything, and I hate being around them. They have this air of self entitlement.


This, coming from a millennial.

If you don't know what I am talking about, watch/read this:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/08/60minutes/main3475200.shtml

[beyond_ban]

My rage level decreases significantly when waved at. It doesn't let them off the hook or make what they did alright, but at least they realized they effed up and are trying to make it right in the only way possible.

[jsn]

Originally posted by beyond_ban
My rage level decreases significantly when waved at. It doesn't let them off the hook or make what they did alright, but at least they realized they effed up and are trying to make it right in the only way possible.

This. It doesn't make what they did right, but at least they said sorry. Better than no acknowledgment at all. I wave too, but only when someone stops to let me into a lane or something. I wave as a thank you, not as a "It's ok to fuck up as long as I wave."

[Sentry]

Originally posted by benyl
This, coming from a millennial.
I wasn't raised like that. My parents had been living in the north (goddamn Inuvik NWT, not northern Calgary) for 20 years already when they had me, and they knew participation medals and shit won't fly. I moved from a town of 3000, to a town of 18000, to Calgary at 1 million just 2 years ago.

When things don't go my way, I pick up the pieces and move on. I don't bitch about it and ask for a handout.

Know what I got for my 19th birthday? A layoff notice from my full time employer. (Seriously. Date on the letter, March 10th 2009) What did I do? Went in search of a job the next day.

[arian_ma]

The 3 O's of terrible driving:

1. Old
2. Oriental
3. Ovaries

Combining any of these makes it even more exciting. Imagine if you have all 3 at once!!!

[Mibz]

Originally posted by benyl
This, coming from a millennial. Maybe I missed it, but did he exhibit ANY of those traits before you labeled him? Or was it completely based on his age?

[Idratherbsidewayz]

Originally posted by Mibz
Maybe I missed it, but did he exhibit ANY of those traits before you labeled him? Or was it completely based on his age?

Lay off, he must be having a really tough month :( . Nothing but hate posts, recently.

I wave as an apology/fuck you when people don't want to let me in and I go anyways.

[Afrodeziak]

Haha you guys bitch way too much. I too agree the wave is a form of acknowledgment.. Whether it's for being let in on a busy merge lane, or you know you've f'd up and acknowledge you've made a mistake.

What really pisses me off? When you're a pedestrian and people almost run you over.... some people miss seeing you, then at the last second wave, which well, at least shows they saw you.. As well, when crossing 4 lanes of traffic with a overhead pedestrian light, people can't be bothered to stop and wait until you're crossed. Therefore you're still on the road, they leave and other people coming up think the road is clear since people are not stopped. EVERYONE is supposed to stop for a reason.. shit's learned in Drivers Ed.

Some people just fly by, talking on their phones.. I want to carry rocks in my pocket to let them know I am there sometimes.

[davesparky6]

After they've made a mistake and cut you off, what do you expect them to do? Pull you over and waste more of your time apologizing? Start crying and beg for forgiveness? The "wave" is the closest thing to an apology when driving. At least the other person is acknowledging that what they did was wrong.

[Sentry]

Originally posted by Idratherbsidewayz


Lay off, he must be having a really tough month :(
Nah that was 2 years ago almost.

[benyl]

Originally posted by Mibz
Maybe I missed it, but did he exhibit ANY of those traits before you labeled him? Or was it completely based on his age?

nah, he didn't. It was based on his age / generation.

Millennials have a sense of entitlement. Him suggesting the generation before him has that was a bit ironic. For me anyway.

Hating on all 30+ year old people isn't any different than what I did.

Sentry, you will be 30 before you know it. haha, it came up for me really fast.

[Sentry]

Originally posted by benyl
Hating on all 30+ year old people isn't any different than what I did.
But that's not what I was doing, I was hating on 30+ year old women, specifically. ;)

[speedog]

Okay, I'll accept that for many the wave is a form of acknowledgment that they know that they screwed up. But still, the waves I hate are from those that blatantly won't make room for two vehicles to pass on a snow clogged residential street - the ones who will just push through as if the world needs to yield to them. For those people, I wish I was driving a 70's Ford pick-up with big ugly scraped up steel bush guards sticking out on every corner and the beefiest west coast mirrors around - this I am sure would force a few of these idiots to reconsider their positioning on the roads they're driving and maybe eliminate one of those waves.

[epp01]

I can't stand people who have no idea of any of the other cars on the road. People who won't move over to the left or pull forward 12inchs to I can get by trying to turn right at a light.

I'm a very defensive driver, people don't realize that they can DIE because they have no idea what's going on, on the road.

[Mibz]

Winter makes everybody grumpy. Especially thirty-somethings with their high-surface area wrinkly skin, fogged up bifocals and cold metal walkers.

I suppose I can't blame them for taking it out on those of us who aren't halfway to death.

[BerserkerCatSplat]

Relevant.

http://theoatmeal.com/blog/car_needs

[SGForever]

Originally posted by Mibz
Winter makes everybody grumpy. Especially thirty-somethings with their high-surface area wrinkly skin, fogged up bifocals and cold metal walkers.

I suppose I can't blame them for taking it out on those of us who aren't halfway to death.


I couldn't have said it better myself :thumbsup:

[shakalaka]

The fact that the person acknowledges that they've made a mistake by apologizing, deff makes me feel a little better and less angry at them.

[Kennyredline]

Originally posted by TorqueDog
I almost got t-boned by some idiot who nearly ran the yield sign. Little older Chinese lady. She waved.


That actually made me even more mad, because her facial expression totally said "Heh, sorry. Oh, I'll wave, now I'm in the clear again". You almost hit someone. Wake the fuck up.

A wave from THAT person says "I know I can't drive, but they give me license so I drive anyway. I stupid."

[colinxx235]

My perception of the wave was to be a "Thank you for slowing down and letting me in when others wouldn't" type scenario...

unlike today when I'm on crowchild and a women in her mid 20's turns right into my lane (couldn't see her signal because it was aligned with my front post and my car was probably a few feet past her back bumper... plus her signal at best was only on for 2 seconds) but yet she aggressively swings into my lane, makes me slam my breaks and almost go into a snow bank on crowchild and figures a wave fixes it all... :dunno:

but I guess a wave for a mistake is always better than someone throwing the bird "hey fuck you, I don't know how to drive but you didn't adhere to my stupidity so here you go"

[Freeskier]

Originally posted by davesparky6
After they've made a mistake and cut you off, what do you expect them to do? Pull you over and waste more of your time apologizing? Start crying and beg for forgiveness? The "wave" is the closest thing to an apology when driving. At least the other person is acknowledging that what they did was wrong.

:werd: I know I'm a good driver, but yes. Even I make mistakes sometimes. I know I've been distracted at times and maybe cut someone off or whatever. The wave is simply an acknowledgement that yea i fucked up, sorry bro!

[speedog]

I'm not concerned about waves from people who've acknowledged they've done something wrong as we've all been that person at one time or another. It's the waves from inconsiderate drivers that irks me - ones that know they're doing something wrong and that have the room/time/ability to correct that wrong but still continue on forcing you to accommodate them while they go on their happy way even though they could've easily adjusted their driving to as to not make the particular situation so perilous to both parties. I'm talking about the people in parking lots who will drive down the wrong side forcing you to stop or move out of the way for them. People who will not move to the right on narrow residential streets. People who will park in the fire zones forcing others to maneuver around them. These people are well aware of what they're doing and probably would plead that they're innocent even if they caused an accident due to their poor driving habits.

[rojhero]

Originally posted by J-hop


I did exactly this last summer, guy gave a sheepish wave after he blew a stop sign and crossed over the road I was driving on and I nearly hit him. I slammed on the brakes and followed him until he stopped at a house and got out. So I got out and started reeming him out as his GF came out of the house all done up to go out and stared at me in shock as I was yelling at her BF.

I hope I ruined their night.

Over an unintentional action which was followed by an act of remorse?

I agree with freeskier. We've all made mistakes driving. As long as the person waves, I see no reason why it should escalate further. Even if the person doesn't wave, we all need to just relax on the streets. By waving, the person acknowledges the mistake, says sorry to you, and will also likely recognize the gravity of the mistake and try not to make the same mistake again in the future. Sure you can get upset about it, but no need to follow someone home and yell at them.

It's like walking into someone in a busy mall or club. If the offender says sorry, the two just keep going on and no feelings hurt.

I know this is not quite the same (both sides were offenders), but I absolutely love this video.

Biker Hits Pedestrian (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG3RLRdETgw)

[bignerd]

So what are we supposed to do when you make a mistake?

Waving is not allowed.
Not waving/ignoring is not allowed.
Assuming the finger is not OK.
Head nod of embarassment? Mouthing "SORRY"?
What?

Personally for me people who are totally un-aware piss me off the most, so I guess I would rather receive a wave than nothing.

[sr20s14zenki]

Originally posted by bignerd
So what are we supposed to do when you make a mistake?

Waving is not allowed.
Not waving/ignoring is not allowed.
Assuming the finger is not OK.
Head nod of embarassment? Mouthing "SORRY"?
What?

Personally for me people who are totally un-aware piss me off the most, so I guess I would rather receive a wave than nothing.

yep same here. If you dont KNOW you just fucked up, you are clearly not paying attention, which is BAD when you are driving. You are in the car to drive, thats it, not yack, and text, and eat a burger, blah blah blah, drive the fucking car. That being said, i always make an effort to roll window down and wave when i fuck up, or say sorry. I also always wave when people let me into traffic. Were human, and we make mistakes, but if your mistakes are being made from pure ignorance or not paying attention, get off the fucking road.

[J-hop]

Originally posted by rojhero


Over an unintentional action which was followed by an act of remorse?



LOL ok first, with his GF (I assume because I started noticing the car in the neighborhood after the incident) I am assuming that couldn't have been the first time he encountered this stop sign on the way to her house (it is located on the end of her street where it crosses over more or less a main drag.

Second, I saw him slow (indicating to me that he saw the stop sign) then mash the gas to cross the road which is when I nearly clipped him, me being the logical person thinking "hey he is slowing for the stop sign he isn't going to blow it right in front of me" figured this guy was half intelligent, but I guess reality demonstrated otherwise.

So please in your infinite wisdom explain to me how this was an "unintentional" act. Yes him not seeing me was unintentional probably, but blowing the stop sign was not.

I mentioned an incident that I encountered with "the wave". In order to save beyonders time reading I didn't work everyone through my thought process on why I was justified in reeming this guy out. But unfortunately people like you that make assumptions require that I take everyone on a mental journey through the incident and my thought process and elaborately describe the situation and generally bore the reader to death, thanks!

[K3RMiTdot]

Originally posted by Mibz
I always assume the wave is an apology. Whether I'm right or not, it's the only thing stopping me from raging.

:werd:

[rojhero]

Originally posted by J-hop


LOL ok first, with his GF (I assume because I started noticing the car in the neighborhood after the incident) I am assuming that couldn't have been the first time he encountered this stop sign on the way to her house (it is located on the end of her street where it crosses over more or less a main drag.

Second, I saw him slow (indicating to me that he saw the stop sign) then mash the gas to cross the road which is when I nearly clipped him, me being the logical person thinking "hey he is slowing for the stop sign he isn't going to blow it right in front of me" figured this guy was half intelligent, but I guess reality demonstrated otherwise.

So please in your infinite wisdom explain to me how this was an "unintentional" act. Yes him not seeing me was unintentional probably, but blowing the stop sign was not.

I mentioned an incident that I encountered with "the wave". In order to save beyonders time reading I didn't work everyone through my thought process on why I was justified in reeming this guy out. But unfortunately people like you that make assumptions require that I take everyone on a mental journey through the incident and my thought process and elaborately describe the situation and generally bore the reader to death, thanks!

I’m just trying to promote less road rage. I asked if your response was appropriate for the situation. Even with your revised explanation, I feel that the action was not justified.

First off, I have only made one assumption. An assumption that I think is reasonable based on what you wrote. I assumed that if someone “blew a stop sign” they likely didn’t know it was there. No sane person is crazy enough (cyclists aside) to intentionally blow through a stop sign at say 30km/hr (another fair assumption given summer conditions). Therefore, I came to the conclusion that it was unintentional.

I feel that you are making equal if not more assumptions. You’ve made the following assumptions:

- he is meeting his girlfriend (irrelevant, but I’m thorough)
- it was not the first time he was there (reasonable assumption)
- he saw the stop sign (maybe he didn’t see the stop sign, but slowed for the intersection)
- intelligence relates to performing a rolling stop and driving into an oncoming vehicle (again irrelevant)
- I have infinite wisdom (incorrect, haha)

If you saw the guy slow down and it looked like he was going to stop, he clearly did not “blow a stop sign”. I think “rolling stop” would be a better term for this situation. So let’s say he intentionally did a rolling stop causing you to narrowly miss him. I still believe you can be upset about it, but you should not follow the person home and yell at them. We all (myself included) just need to give people the benefit of doubt in this type of situation. This is especially so when the person has apologized and thus recognized the mistake.

Please don’t take this personal. I disagree with an action that you have made, but don’t know you at all. The question was meant to provoke some thought into whether or not it is ok to rage on someone that has waved. It was not meant to sound condescending and I apologize since it seems to have come out that way.

I’m not perfect nor do I have infinite wisdom. I’ve also participated in road rage to some extent. I have a bad (and strange) habit of always trying to look an offender in the face to see if they’ve realized their mistake or it they’re on a cell phone. I’ve seen all sorts of reactions. Some are clueless, some look nervous and don’t look back, and some even wave to apologize. It’s something I’ve been cutting out, because it can potentially make the situation worse. I challenge everyone to reduce road rage by accepting apologies. A guy I knew once had a gun revealed to him in Calgary for giving a glare (while driving). There are some pretty crazy people here in Calgary. If not for others, reduce road rage for your own protection.

[J-hop]

the thing is though, if I were to be dumb enough to pull something like that I would respect if someone came and verballed me about it.

I personally believe people only change if they have an event occur that is memorable and/or traumatic. Having someone get out of their car and yell at me for an idiotic move I made would definitely have an impact on me so I think it is much better than not doing anything (IMO) especially when you put that person's well being at risk by being an idiot

[yellowsnow]

Originally posted by J-hop
the thing is though, if I were to be dumb enough to pull something like that I would respect if someone came and verballed me about it.

I personally believe people only change if they have an event occur that is memorable and/or traumatic. Having someone get out of their car and yell at me for an idiotic move I made would definitely have an impact on me so I think it is much better than not doing anything (IMO) especially when you put that person's well being at risk by being an idiot

wow road rage much :rofl:

so you actually stalked the guy afterwards, then mouthed him off at someone's house... lol. people make mistakes, are u some old 60 year old man who needs to go aroudn lecturing the youngins on proper respect? gimme a break. so you're gonna follow everyone who cuts you off, accidentally misses a stop sign, or runs a red light? i dunno how you get anything else done in the day :nut: if you love doing that, u should seriously consider being a traffic cop... then u can get paid for being a complete asshole

take a chill pill, shit happens... get on with your life ;)

[ClearBluewater]

Op its actually your fault.

You need to anticipate the women drivers on the road and be extra cautious.

She was waving to let you know that "yes, there are women like me on the road, please watch out for me." You should be grateful for the reminder she gave you. :facepalm:

[Graham_A_M]

^ yes to be sure. The op should acknowledge everybody elses importance and patiently wait off to to the side of the road until the residential road is free of the other vip's, which was the whole point of this thread. ;)

[jonnycat]

Originally posted by J-hop
the thing is though, if I were to be dumb enough to pull something like that I would respect if someone came and verballed me about it.

I personally believe people only change if they have an event occur that is memorable and/or traumatic. Having someone get out of their car and yell at me for an idiotic move I made would definitely have an impact on me so I think it is much better than not doing anything (IMO) especially when you put that person's well being at risk by being an idiot

I could understand your reaction if he laughed at you or gave you the finger, but after a sheepish wave acknowleding that he
knows he fucked up, you follow him and verbally berate him?

What would you have done if he laughed or fingered you?

Honestly if you had done that to me after what could have only been considered as an apology, I would have laughed at you and told you to fuck off.

[Singulari]

Originally posted by speedog
Okay, I'll accept that for many the wave is a form of acknowledgment that they know that they screwed up. But still, the waves I hate are from those that blatantly won't make room for two vehicles to pass on a snow clogged residential street - the ones who will just push through as if the world needs to yield to them. For those people, I wish I was driving a 70's Ford pick-up with big ugly scraped up steel bush guards sticking out on every corner and the beefiest west coast mirrors around - this I am sure would force a few of these idiots to reconsider their positioning on the roads they're driving and maybe eliminate one of those waves.

Maybe you should reconsider the truck for a "Canadian Built" vehicle.

http://www.topgear.com.ph/blogs/head-over-wheels/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/knight-xv-suv-vs-hummer.jpg

Made in Canada and can resist gunfire for up to 24 hours.

[btimbit]

The wave at least means they know they screwed up. I had a close call yesterday with a van pulling out of a parking lot, making me swerve into the thankfully empty opposite lane. I was pissed, but when we met again at the next set of lights she did the wave. She knew she fucked up, and probably learned from it, no harm done.

Their are the people that use the wave as if it lets them get away with anything. That still ticks me off.