Office Bathroom Stalls

[davidI]

Anyone else breathe a sigh of relief when they enter the office bathroom to pinch a morning loaf and no one else is in there?

I mean, it's one thing to be crunching one in a public bathroom somewhere with some random in the stall next door...but it's a bit awkward to be dropping the kids off at the pool when an Executive VP who you're normally trying to impress is right next door doing the same!

If someone else is in the can when I arrive I'll often just blow my nose or wash my hands and then return later when the coast is clear....

Is that normal or am I weird!?

[G-ZUS]

Originally posted by davidI
Anyone else breathe a sigh of relief when they enter the office bathroom to pinch a morning loaf and no one else is in there?

I mean, it's one thing to be crunching one in a public bathroom somewhere with some random in the stall next door...but it's a bit awkward to be dropping the kids off at the pool when an Executive VP who you're normally trying to impress is right next door doing the same!

If someone else is in the can when I arrive I'll often just blow my nose or wash my hands and then return later when the coast is clear....

Is that normal or am I weird!?

I'm the same as you

[R-Audi]

LOL.. I love being in an empty bathroom. No one wants to hear someone else crunching. Especially someone you know.

I always wait for the other person to leave the room so that you dont have the awkward conversation at the sinks!

[core_upt]

100% agree.

Bathroom etiquette, or rather, common sense dictates that that there is a don't look, don't talk rule in place.

It is best practice to avoid seeing other people in the bathroom whenever possible.

And for the love of god, no fucking talking. I HATE people talking through stalls or at the urinal. Bathroom = STFU.

[Kloubek]

I agree. We have two main bathrooms in my office. One has a 2+1 stall setup. (With the 1 being several meters away from the other two). I always use the separate stall if possible. The problem with the 2 stalls side by side (besides obvious proximity concerns) is the fact that there are lights directly above which casts a frighteningly accurate shadow of the person in the stall beside you. (This includes being able to make out the person wiping their ass, etc). Not the most comfortable scenario.

However, it is preferred over the other bathroom in the office which is so quiet you can literally hear a pin drop. Additionally, all the stalls are side-by-side and also have the ill-conceived lighting positioning.

[Grogador]

Buncha weirdos already discussed this in the Unwritten Office Rules (http://forums.beyond.ca/st/312451/unwritten-office-rules/) thread. Personally I crunch with Exec allatime :D

[Troll-ol]

My bathroom has a full door on it, so no one can hear you in there anyways.

[max_boost]

Install a lock on the door.

:D

[E46..sTyLez]

If I walk into one of the company bathrooms and someone is dropping one I just do a U-turn. I don't care if they heard the door open, I'm bailing every time. Most awkward scenario in an office IMO
The worst part is, we have a bathroom that is a single stall with a lock on the main door...but nobody on my floor uses it!! They would rather crap in the public washroom. I don't get it.

[Guillermo]

if someone is in there already, I just leave and find a different bathroom. but the worst thing is when you're taking a dump, and some idiot comes in and sits on the toilet right next to you. that's utterly disgusting. :barf:

[max_boost]

Just have to take care of your business quickly haha

Make sure you eat your veggies and fiber intake is up, ensures smooth passages. :rofl:

[beyond_ban]

Battle shits happens to be one of my favorite games :dunno:

[CapnCrunch]

I still mud if someones in there or not.

[Chester]

We have two bathroom stalls for 100+ guys in an engineering building, its hell. 90 percent chance someone is droppin a deuce when you go in to the bathroom, sometimes I drive to sunridge mall just to take a shit lol.
It really sucks now because I'm on crutches. I don't know about you guys, but my shit's sneak up on me; once that deuce gland starts to tingle I gotta get to the bathroom ASAP. Imagine my disappointment when I finally get my gimp ass to the bathroom and someone is already on the throne.

[JfuckinC]

lol i like it empty, and i can shit in 20 seconds flat usually. We have good toilets at my offfice, i've crushed some monsters in there and it eats them no prob haha...

[Aleks]

Originally posted by beyond_ban
Battle shits happens to be one of my favorite games :dunno:

I know guys at my work that actually do this. :dunno:

[heavyD]

I used to be conscious of that but now I just don't care and go regardless of other people occupying adjacent stalls. What bothers me more is how gross people are. There's rarely a day where one or two bowls don't have have massive shit stains (double flush people) and sometimes shit splatter up to the seat. It's like there's a handful of people here with a major case of the shits every single day.

[cycosis]

Really? I cant believe you guys have a problem taking a crap with someone else in the room. "OMG I can hear him pooping!!! How embarrassing!!!!" or "OMG im trying to impress him, better not poop!"

People shit for a reason. I love laughing my ass of to make people uncomfortable when I have a loud/gassy poop. Hahah

[davidI]

Originally posted by CapnCrunch
I still mud if someones in there or not.

Now I understand your username.


Originally posted by heavyD
I used to be conscious of that but now I just don't care and go regardless of other people occupying adjacent stalls. What bothers me more is how gross people are. There's rarely a day where one or two bowls don't have have massive shit stains (double flush people) and sometimes shit splatter up to the seat. It's like there's a handful of people here with a major case of the shits every single day.

There's a difference between some randoms and your colleagues in an office. If I'm in a field office wearing coveralls I don't really care either. If you're in the head office I think it's a bit different. It just seems strange to spend so much time & energy on dry-cleaning, appearance, handshakes, & proper presentation to the upper management all day and then go play battle shits in the can.

[GOnSHO]

i tend to use the 1 stall rule that is the same for a urinal if at all possible...


we have 3 stalls side by side on every floor (18 floors)... so if someone is in the 1st stall, ill take the 3rd one.. but if 2nd is occupado.. im walking a floor....

[sabad66]

Lol totally wasn't expecting the general consensus to lean this way. You guys worry too much. Everyone has to do it (including execs)... No need to be embarrassed. Just flush while pinching if you are worried about noises. But for the love of god please keep it clean! Nothing I hate more than random ass hairs/shit particles all over the seat. I usually double layer a base, but I'll still try another stall if it's bad.

[william_olynyk]

Originally posted by davidI
Anyone else breathe a sigh of relief when they enter the office bathroom to pinch a morning loaf and no one else is in there?

I mean, it's one thing to be crunching one in a public bathroom somewhere with some random in the stall next door...but it's a bit awkward to be dropping the kids off at the pool when an Executive VP who you're normally trying to impress is right next door doing the same!

If someone else is in the can when I arrive I'll often just blow my nose or wash my hands and then return later when the coast is clear....

Is that normal or am I weird!?

I am with you there! I just can't go if someone else is in the bathroom, I'll wait until everyone leaves before I let loose. I've checked 5 different washrooms on my search for an empty one. Nothing worse than someone in the stall next door dropping shrapnel into the toilet, while you're trying not to gag from holding your breathe.

[swak]

The worst is just going to the urinal, I find (and if there's only two with no divider), I usually wait.
Its super awkward walking up 1" away from the other guy, whipping it out and taking care of things...

Shits, there's always a wall between stalls, so who really cares? Nobodys gonna recognize your shoes and call you out on pooing in the same "piblic bathroom" as them. What if you really really had to go, and couldn't wait?
Just wait til they get out of the bathroom before you get out and wash your hands if you're that worried... Or do the opposite and try to beat them out of the bathroom.

[Jeremiah]

Never shit when someone is shitting, doesn't matter just can't do it. and if someone walks in I hold my breath and make no noise LOL.

Anyone notice when people are shitting and you go in there, they start making random noises to mask their embarassment. I hear a lot of sniffing, fucking weird.

[civic_stylez]

Originally posted by Jeremiah
Never shit when someone is shitting, doesn't matter just can't do it. and if someone walks in I hold my breath and make no noise LOL.

Anyone notice when people are shitting and you go in there, they start making random noises to mask their embarassment. I hear a lot of sniffing, fucking weird.

I totally go covert quiet if someone walks in... taking a ducer is always best when done in private... id rather not listen to a guy stand at a urinal and break ass while im sitting in the oval office. Airports are the worst.. go in to take a leak and 9 dudes from that 13 hour flight from bangladesh are crunching in the stalls... brutal.

[HiTempguy1]

Originally posted by civic_stylez


I totally go covert quiet if someone walks in..

I love it when I walk in the door and somebody is taking a dump, and the whole bathroom just goes dead silent. You can tell the person is clenching pretty good waiting for you to leave :rofl:

[Jeremiah]

Originally posted by civic_stylez


I totally go covert quiet if someone walks in... taking a ducer is always best when done in private... id rather not listen to a guy stand at a urinal and break ass while im sitting in the oval office. Airports are the worst.. go in to take a leak and 9 dudes from that 13 hour flight from bangladesh are crunching in the stalls... brutal.

:rofl:

Well said..

I've actually been quite lucky with my airport shitscapades.

YYC, YYZ, YEG, YVR, YKF, MAD, LAS, LAX, ZIH, EWR, MAH have all fell victim to my bowels

[Maxt]

Wow, I put extra effort into the expulsion process just to see if I can make the other people in the can laugh..

[cycosis]

^Hahha yup. I just dont get why so many of you are all hung up over this.

[03ozwhip]

^^^^noooo nothing worse than laughing at someone elses shit expense and then getting out at the same time and finding out its your boss....

[Kloubek]

If I'm just dropping a well-formed log or two, I will generally not care. In fact, I'm almost proud to get in there and back out before the person in there before me finishes their business. I appear efficient and dedicated to the task.

It's just when my shits are less than well-constructed when I have a problem. For some reason, lately my daily coffee is really having an adverse effect on me. And this results in... well... some less-than-solid mornings. It is bad enough I have to deal with that... I don't need other people to know my business.

Of course, now it is online for everyone to see. So fuck it... I'm just gonna let er rip from here on in...

[Mibz]

I feel like a superior man when I walk in, do my business and get out all while somebody else who got there before me is in the next stall clenching for fear of making a sound.

[Jlude]

Agreed

I'll check the bathrooms on other floors of our office if the first one has someone there.

Sometimes I don't bother even checking the office bathrooms, I live so close to work, that I come home, do my business then grab a snack and head back to work.

[Mitsu3000gt]

Why are so many people worried about shitting next to someone you know? Are you poking your heads under the stall to see who is next to you? Unless you walk in at the exact same time, or purposely walk out of the stalls at the exact same time, nobody is going to know who is next to them.

Just go in and do what you gotta do. No need to exaggerate anything, but take your shit and leave. Courtesy flush if it's especially nasty. I think its stupid to go back to your desk at the office and be in discomfort while you wait for the other guy in the bathroom to finish shitting.

I used to be more worried about it when I was younger but it's not a big deal at all.

[Xtrema]

Everyone uses the handicap bathroom because a) nobody is handicapped on our floor and b) it's private.

[J-hop]

I'm the same way, doesn't help I take a lot of protein so my passages go far from unnoticed.

One thing I hate about my work is all the lights in the washroom are on sensors, so after about 5 mins of no movement they shut off. Leaving you pooping in the dark (kinda awkward when someone comes in and realizes you've been sitting in the dark). So I used to try to stand up to wave my hand above the stall door at the sensor. Problem with that is as soon as you stand up the toilet flushes and coats you with overspray.

Not the best washrooms for dropping one in, they cater to the efficient poopers I guess.

[GQBalla]

throw balls of toilet paper out the door to turn the lights on.

[max_boost]

Originally posted by J-hop
I'm the same way, doesn't help I take a lot of protein so my passages go far from unnoticed.

One thing I hate about my work is all the lights in the washroom are on sensors, so after about 5 mins of no movement they shut off. Leaving you pooping in the dark (kinda awkward when someone comes in and realizes you've been sitting in the dark). So I used to try to stand up to wave my hand above the stall door at the sensor. Problem with that is as soon as you stand up the toilet flushes and coats you with overspray.

Not the best washrooms for dropping one in, they cater to the efficient poopers I guess.

You are in there for 5 mins? :eek:

[403Gemini]

Story of my life when I worked in the office:

kCaJWQyjlwY

Like EVERY guy on my floor didn't know washroom etiquette... I ended up going to other floors where people didnt know me to take a leak just so people wouldnt talk to me while im pissing... while dropping a deuce, I dont really care if somebody goes into the next stall if im there first, but if I see somebody already in a stall I'll and there's only 2 , I'll come back later since i'm more concerned that it will bother them rather than bother me.

[J-hop]

Originally posted by GQBalla
throw balls of toilet paper out the door to turn the lights on.

tried it, even removed my belt and tried swinging it around

[Idratherbsidewayz]

Unless I really have to shit, the only reason to do the 180 is if someone is in the VIP luxury handicap stall. Just not worth shitting without plenty of room to relax, BBM, and read magazines.

[TomcoPDR]

I used to avoid anyone present too (like OP)... espeically 1st or 2nd time meeting a new gf's parents, eating out at a restaurant, I try to time it so that the male members (her dad, brother) would use the bathroom before I need to, or if I really have to drop one, I make sure I'd start a controversial topic so the table is "stuck" within the conversation; then I'd excuse myself.

But if I'm stuck at those situations (meeting new gf's parents at restaurant)... I'd rather do things more elegantly, such as: "Oh, I better go wash my hands" (just becareful with this as it could and has backfire).. where her dad doesn't do anything initially, but then decides to wash his hands too, and catches you going into the stall... Now if I use the "wash hand" excuse, I make sure I'm not being followed, or it'd have to be a ninja poop. I'm only weirded out in social situations (not work).

Office/Work wise, I've gotten over that fear. (but I'm in trades, not suits and ties)... I've been able to open line of communication with co-workers, business assoicates, bosses... Like if I run into them in the shitter, I can totally do the whole: "Oh, you got to go too" "oh man, I got a big one coming"

It's actually pretty relaxing when you can openly communicate with the people you work with, vice-versa, like being proud of your accomplishment: "pewwww, you do NOT wanna go in there, hahaha"

[jwslam]

i can't believe this isn't here yet!

KOmDn1A5lTc

[mowglee]

I have a manager who is way too comfortable talking in the bathroom, whether it be at the urinal or sink. I think the sink is another awkward place too because some people think that its okay territory for a conversation, but its not.

[kaput]

.

[ekguy]

I do moving/construction/furniture installs downtown and I have no problems pinching one off if there are people in there haha.

Personally I don't work with them so i couldn't care less haha.

But for the most part I usually end up alone in the bathroom anyways.

[TomcoPDR]

Originally posted by ekguy
I do moving/construction/furniture installs downtown and I have no problems pinching one off if there are people in there haha.



More awkward if you work in construction and the out-house is smack downtown on a main street... But it's not like people on the street will know if you're #1 or #2 when you're going in.

[FraserB]

Originally posted by TomcoPDR


More awkward if you work in construction and the out-house is smack downtown on a main street... But it's not like people on the street will know if you're #1 or #2 when you're going in.

I can top that one. When we were doing the Glenmore/Elbow interchange someone had the great idea of putting the out-house right next to Glenmore with the door facing east. Imagine hundreds of people seeing you go in and then hundreds more seeing you come out.:banghead:

[civic_stylez]

Originally posted by J-hop
I'm the same way, doesn't help I take a lot of protein so my passages go far from unnoticed.

One thing I hate about my work is all the lights in the washroom are on sensors, so after about 5 mins of no movement they shut off. Leaving you pooping in the dark (kinda awkward when someone comes in and realizes you've been sitting in the dark). So I used to try to stand up to wave my hand above the stall door at the sensor. Problem with that is as soon as you stand up the toilet flushes and coats you with overspray.

Not the best washrooms for dropping one in, they cater to the efficient poopers I guess.

That sir, is one of the funniest things ive read in a long time. :rofl:

[403Gemini]

Originally posted by FraserB


I can top that one. When we were doing the Glenmore/Elbow interchange someone had the great idea of putting the out-house right next to Glenmore with the door facing east. Imagine hundreds of people seeing you go in and then hundreds more seeing you come out.:banghead:

lol, so?

"OMG LOOK AT THAT GUY! HE HAD TO PEE!!!! :rofl: HES HUMAN TOO!!!"

[123focus]

i can just hold the shit in til i get home. i once held my shit for a week. i think i was just constipated but there were probably 30 hotdogs and many packs of kraft dinner in me that werent coming out

[desi112]

funny. I just went to drop some logs, and there was somebody in the stall next to me who was stinking shit up.

This thread guilt-ed me into leaving before chopping.

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by desi112


This thread guilt-ed me into leaving before chopping.


This thread made me realize how many bathroom pansies there are on Beyond :rofl:

Maybe they should start making all bathrooms one-stall only, and have them spread as far apart as each other in buildings as they can :rofl: :rofl:

[ExtraSlow]

I eat a hearty breakfast of raw oats every day. That ensures two things:
1) I'm shitting before 9:00am every single day and
2) My shits are large, and efficient.

While I prefer to have the place to myself, it's not a big deal. I know I'll be in and out quickly. There are some unhealthy people at my work, and I win the race every time. :D :clap: :clap:

[civic_stylez]

Originally posted by ExtraSlow
I eat a hearty breakfast of raw oats every day. That ensures two things:
1) I'm shitting before 9:00am every single day and
2) My shits are large, and efficient.

While I prefer to have the place to myself, it's not a big deal. I know I'll be in and out quickly. There are some unhealthy people at my work, and I win the race every time. :D :clap: :clap:

raw oats FTW... awesome power food for breakfast and definitely keeps the daily sched on time!!!!

[thrasher22]

Considering I wear super bright/recognizable shoes I really should care, but I really couldn't care less.

Everybody poops :dunno:

[Spoons]

Originally posted by thrasher22
Considering I wear super bright/recognizable shoes I really should care, but I really couldn't care less.

Everybody poops :dunno:

Same, but I don't give a fuck.

Everyone has to shit. When I have to shit, I go and take a shit. If it's fucking gross sounding, its gross sounding. If I come out of the washroom and someone says to me, "Damn that was rowdy" I say, "Fuck yeah it was, god damn burritos." If someone looks awkwardly at me at the sink, I stare the fuck back. If someone goes in to the stall next to me, you best fucking believe I will try to show that mother fucker up. If someone says, "Damn Russ you take a lot of shits" I say, "Yeah I am 150 fucking pounds and almost eat my fucking body weight a day, high metabolism for the win you fat fuck."

Everyone... Fucking... Shits... It's natural. Some of you guys really need to get some confidence if you think the way people think/look at you is related to you shitting at work.

[Guillermo]

who cares if everyone does it, it's still disgusting. it stinks. i don't wanna smell that nastiness. actually, if i go in a bathroom and it reeks, i leave and find a different one, even just to pee.

feces spread disease, this is why humans have an aversion to the process. there isn't anything wrong or sissy about that. :dunno:

[Tik-Tok]

Originally posted by Guillermo

feces spread disease, this is why humans have an aversion to the process. there isn't anything wrong or sissy about that. :dunno:

You're right, feces spreads disease, farts don't, nor does the stink from feces (well, except maybe pink eye, if someone farts on your pillow).

Going to another bathroom because you don't like the stink is one thing, but going to another bathroom because you fear a imaginary disease you may get from the stink is very sissy.

[jwslam]

Originally posted by Tik-Tok
You're right, feces spreads disease, farts don't, nor does the stink from feces (well, except maybe pink eye, if someone farts on your pillow).

Didn't they prove pink eye is only from the tiny crap particles in fart?

[Guillermo]

^^who said anything about fearing a disease? it's not a conscious decision to not like it - it's an instinctual aversion. :dunno:

[davidI]

Originally posted by Spoons


Everyone... Fucking... Shits... It's natural. Some of you guys really need to get some confidence if you think the way people think/look at you is related to you shitting at work.

I get that - but just because you think that way doesn't mean everyone does. I find it a bit weird to be sitting across the conference room table from a senior exec after hearing them drop nasty bombs.

That said, it's not a big deal to me to hear others and I can laugh it off, but who is to say that the sr. exec wouldn't be looking across that table at me strangely if I was just given 'er hell in the stall next to him 5 minutes prior?

[mdeluxe]

What a great thread... :thumbsup:

[max_boost]

Suggestion box. VP's of the company should have their own washrooms somewhere else on the floor. That way davidI doesn't have to worry about running into them. :D

[nismodrifter]

http://i.imgur.com/MRVa6.jpg

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[B20EF]

Originally posted by Kloubek
The problem with the 2 stalls side by side (besides obvious proximity concerns) is the fact that there are lights directly above which casts a frighteningly accurate shadow of the person in the stall beside you. (This includes being able to make out the person wiping their ass, etc). Not the most comfortable scenario.

Haha thats brutal. I hate it when I'm pinching beside someone and notice my access card with picture has been showing faceup so the guy in the next stall knows who he's shitting bedside.

[davidI]

Originally posted by max_boost
Suggestion box. VP's of the company should have their own washrooms somewhere else on the floor. That way davidI doesn't have to worry about running into them. :D

Suggestion Box: Make me VP so I can drop nasty shits next to my minions.

[sabad66]

http://i.imgur.com/LAn6n.png

[Maxx Mazda]

I have no problem at work. If I have to push some brown, I go in and do it. I don't like to listen to the guy beside me shit though, so I usually jus throw my headphones in and YouTube or something. I like to relax and shit, like 30 minutes worth.

[takkyu]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71610F1MDNL._SL500_AA300_.gif

[Cos]

The poker face one has me in stitches! Lol

[viff3r]

I don't care who's in there with me, I sit down and rip it. I do try to avoid exiting the stall if there are other people in the bathroom, though.

And I always remember to flip my ID card around when my pants are around my ankles :rofl:

[Spoons]

To be honest nothing is better than a shit in the morning at work. The bathroom is squeaky clean.

[LilDrunkenSmurf]

I have no issues with sitting next to some one, but I'm the quiet guy that either waits it out, or tries to get out first. I also always put my ID badge in my pocket, so no one knows it's me.

[CorollaXRS]

In our office, we only got 1 bathroom and there are 6 guys to share it and i don't see a problem with that.

[msommers]

Some of you guys are such pansy asses :rofl: Ya it's an unwritten rule not to strike up a conversation while you're pissing next to each other but guess what, it'll happen and you have no where to run! Keep your eyes upwards and forwards, that's it.

There would be no chance in hell that I would do a 180 if I had to shit. EVERY ONE POOPS. Hahaha I seriously can't believe how uncomfortable some of you are!

[Guillermo]

everyone jacks off too, but that doesn't mean you want to do it cramped in a tiny stinky room next your office mates. :rofl:

[Mibz]

Originally posted by Guillermo
everyone jacks off too, but that doesn't mean you want to do it cramped in a tiny stinky room next your office mates. :rofl: Speak for yourself.

[Guillermo]

Originally posted by Mibz
Speak for yourself.

are you trying to tell us you have office circle jerks in the bathroom? :rofl:

[Mibz]

Originally posted by Guillermo
are you trying to tell us you have office circle jerks in the bathroom? :rofl: That would be cramped in a giant stinky circle next to my office mates.