Using cell phones and electronic devices at a dinner function - rude or ok?

[maxwinedog]

Many tell me its fine to be texting or checking your email at the dinner table in a dinner function. Others say not even the cell phone should be taken out of your pocket once until its over and that its extremely rude and inconsiderate....what you think? i brought my ipad with me to the table last night at a function with over 1000 ppl and saw nothing wrong with it. Aside from the 2 old ladies at my table, everyone else was extremely anti social and totally didnt want no part of the function, so i figured why bother keep trying to start convo with them if theyre not interested.. Everyone I could tell just wanted to get it over with and go home. So i just focused on something else thats beneficial to me to pass the time.

:confused:

[ExtraSlow]

rude.

[project240]

Depends how close you are with the people I think as well as what the function is.

To me, I find it a bit on the rude side to be constantly checking your phone or texting while out. With that being said, I've got no problem with a person checking their phone once in awhile. I've got a friend who constantly is messaging people, on his phone when I've been over at his house helping him with something or out eating, etc. I find it quite annoying... especially when I'm over at your house helping you with your project, yet I'm the one doing all the work because you find it more important to text/chat than finish your project.
/rant

Would you invite people over to your house and then sit and talk on the phone while they are over?

[nismodrifter]

Annoying as fuck

[redline]

rude

[spikerS]

fucking unplug man. buy a couple rounds for the table and everyone will loosen up and you might get laid.

[rob the knob]

ipad? rude!

if dinner is with family then you shouldnt pull out your phone. if you are with friends and special occaison then leave the phone away. if with friends at pub then ok.

weindog, what were you checking on you ipad?



Originally posted by maxwinedog
Many tell me its fine to be texting or checking your email at the dinner table in a dinner function. Others say not even the cell phone should be taken out of your pocket once until its over and that its extremely rude and inconsiderate....what you think? i brought my ipad with me to the table last night at a function with over 1000 ppl and saw nothing wrong with it. Aside from the 2 old ladies at my table, everyone else was extremely anti social and totally didnt want no part of the function, so i figured why bother keep trying to start convo with them if theyre not interested.. Everyone I could tell just wanted to get it over with and go home. So i just focused on something else thats beneficial to me to pass the time.

:confused:

[J-hop]

really surprised people actually have to ask this, has our society degraded so badly that people would rather plug in than have actual human contact. I don't buy your claim everyone was being "anti-social" and even if they were, you don't want to look like the rude one so break out of your shell and try to make conversation (no matter how difficult). If I invited you to a dinner function and you brought your ipad I'd ask you to leave.


You also have to consider, the previous generation, who didn't grow up with computers, are still the ones running shit. They grew up in a generation where you sat up straight at the table, chewed with your mouth closed, didn't talk with your mouth full and kept your elbows off the table. Some how my generation (im 25), can't seem to grasp those simple concepts, and worse they are tuning out everyone during the meal with electronics.

I don't even like checking my phone when out with people. If my phone rings while out with friends I don't answer it unless its family, people will leave a message if its really important. People always say "what if someone is calling in an emergency"..well I hope to hell the person is smart enough to call 911 before calling me.......


I actually have a good example of this, my parents host events at our cabin, last year they had 20+ people out for a weekend. One of the husbands decided he would spend dinners/social time sitting on his blackberry. My parents were very offended by this as they had provided, food, entertainment and accommodation for the weekend. Needless to say this person has not been asked back this year....

[derpderp]

Yep, it is very rude and despite what J-hop says the youth I know seem to understand this concept, at least at dinner time.

[J-hop]

Originally posted by derpderp
Yep, it is very rude and despite what J-hop says the youth I know seem to understand this concept, at least at dinner time.

yea see I think this concept goes beyond dinner though, one of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm driving friends somewhere (like to go out for dinner) and one of them is having a text convo while everyone else is chatting in the car. Check your texts when you get home, simple as that, nothing profound ever gets said via text anyways haha

[WhippWhapp]

Breaking bread with someone and pulling an ipad out... ? FFS- think about what you are asking here!

[spike98]

RUDE! Even if you are a bigwig at a multimillion dollar company and you are expecting a call from a highdollar client you keep that shit on vibrate and leave the room before you answer. Excuse yourself politely and duck into the bathroom.

[Tik-Tok]

Rude.

Only time I whip my phone out to use the internet during a dinner function, or even dinner out with my wife, is if we're both wondering about something specific, and I look it up.

[core_upt]

I don't see anything wrong with it. Hell, before the iPad, I used to bring books, an art set and some board games to dinner functions. If people aren't going to talk, I'll bust out some Yahtzee or get through a few chapters of War and Peace.

That's acceptable, right? /sarcasm

[Unknown303]

I hate when electronics are busted out at the table, although i have done it before. Generally i think its best to leave them alone.

[ddduke]

It all depends. There's lots of old guys here so they're probably out of touch with current society.

If you're on a date: no phone
Business meeting: no phone
Family: your choice, they won't cut you off anyways
Lunch/dinner with work mates: totally fine
Large seminar/social event with tons of people: totally fine

It also depends what you're doing on your phone/ipad. I get emails a few times an hour and calls non stop between 9am and 6pm. I'm not going to try to make someone else happy and potentially fuck myself over with work because they think it's rude. Same with my gf, she understands that I pay for almost everything and I'm paying for the dinner she's about to eat, so she better be cool with me taking calls/emails while we eat or otherwise she can foot the bill for everything from now on.

Edit:
I also goto a lot of sales/business/marketing seminars and at every single one as I look around every single person has their hands under the table playing with phones.

[msommers]

Dinner function? Work related? Rude and unprofessional.

[HiTempguy1]

Originally posted by J-hop


yea see I think this concept goes beyond dinner though, one of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm driving friends somewhere (like to go out for dinner) and one of them is having a text convo while everyone else is chatting in the car. Check your texts when you get home, simple as that, nothing profound ever gets said via text anyways haha

I've thrown headphones out the window before when I've been driving and somebody has put them in their ears. Like, what?

[Xtrema]

No phone/text during any group gathering unless it's life and death.

[Troll-ol]

If the people at the function are boring , I would for sure use my phone and If they don't like it can pound sand. If the people are somewhat socialable and you're having a conversation it would be rude to
Pull out your phone or iPad and use it. Big pet peeve is when I'm with one person and she is constantly on her phone...

[bignerd]

I don't know I find it annoying even with family and friends?

We go out for dinner with friends on a weekend, having a nice time and you can't talk to them because they are constantly texting...

Its nice just to relax, talk and have a conversation, have someone look at you when you speak to them instead of just having their head buried in their phone muttering "uh-huh, uh-huh".....

I can understand if you have to take a business call or check an email, but I doubt that many of us have things so urgent they can't wait until the dinner is over.

[Cooked Rice]

Originally posted by ddduke
If you're on a date: no phone
Business meeting: no phone
Family: your choice, they won't cut you off anyways
Lunch/dinner with work mates: totally fine
Large seminar/social event with tons of people: totally fine


:werd: If it's casual and not on something like a date I say it's fine, obviously I think age group matters too, probably less likely to as you get older I would think. I think it's fine to check it and respond, different case if it's a constant text convo they are having, then yes it can be annoying.

[Pinner]

Originally posted by ddduke
It all depends. There's lots of old guys here so they're probably out of touch with current society.

So what you're saying is the "old guys" are wrong to be polite in public, they're just "out of touch"? LoL

[snip] (Cooked Rice took care of that part.)



Originally posted by ddduke
Same with my gf, she understands that I pay for almost everything and I'm paying for the dinner she's about to eat, so she better be cool with me taking calls/emails while we eat or otherwise she can foot the bill for everything from now on.

With that attitude, you're going to be the "forever alone guy". LoL



Originally posted by ddduke
Edit:
I also goto a lot of sales/business/marketing seminars and at every single one as I look around every single person has their hands under the table playing with phones.

Just because others are doing it doesn't make it's right.

I can't believe how much time my fellow students (college) waste on their smart phones, unreal. They will pass, but learn nothing, sure they'll pass because they will cram for an easy test, but they didn't learn anything.

They just drag down the credibility of the courses and turn employers away.

[ddduke]

Originally posted by Pinner


So what you're saying is the "old guys" are wrong to be polite in public, they're just "out of touch"? LoL

[snip] (Cooked Rice took care of that part.)




With that attitude, you're going to be the "forever alone guy". LoL




Just because others are doing it doesn't make it's right.



1. It's not rude to email someone on your phone if it's important and work related, same with a phone call. What I'm saying is that a bunch of the guys I met from beyond are super old and probably don't understand how smart phones work so ofcourse they're gonna think it's rude.

2. I actually have a great relationship and my gf understands when I take a call or send an email that it's probably important. I don't just sit there the whole time and text my buddy.

3. it's fine in that situation because if you want then you can take in the information and if you don't then you don't have to. What exactly makes it wrong? Just because you think it's wrong doesn't mean everyone else does.

You're probably one of those guys that's still rocking a Razr and has hardly mastered t9. so I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Picture this:
You're at dinner with a buddy/gf/brother that's casual or at a seminar that if you were sleeping at no one would even notice. You're getting calls/emails non stop from employees, partners, customers, operations managers that you work for, many of which are really important. You expect me to make everyone wait an hour or more just to get back to them? Give me a break buddy.

[anarchy]

Checking your phone during a work function is unprofessional. Using your iPad at a work function is ridiculous!

[Cos]

Surfing beyond or facebook is fucking rude. Checking or sending a text and promptly putting the phone away, probably not so bad. If you are there with one other person I leave the phone in the pocket, if there are 8 people at a pub ill send a text out.

I pad? Are you fucking kidding.

[sputnik]

What are you? 16?

Someone should have beaten you with the iPad.

[Marsh]

Its rude enough with a phone, but a fucking Ipad? That's just ridiculous man

[ercchry]

the following is text/bbm/email. surfing the web is rude unless its to end an argument at the table

date: fine, got to show that woman she isnt the centre of the universe and your life doesnt revolve around her :rofl:

pub with friends: fine if its a large table and people are not engaging you in conversation at the time you check the phone

close family dinner for a celebration: no, not enough people to be left out of the conversation at any given time, you should be participating

large family gathering: see pub with friends

business lunch: see close family dinner

quick work lunch with co-workers: fine, only time to catch up with friends, family, etc during the day... also when dealing with people in other time zones they are still working, and you should at least reply if the request is simple enough

quick bite with friends: not formal, so its fine as long as you keep it quick

[kvg]

You pulled an ipad out:rofl: I thought a phone was rude.:rofl:

[codetrap]

Pulling out a phone or an ipad when you're at a social event effectively gives the message to everyone else at the table that you don't give a damn what they may have to think or say. That is why it's rude.

Diving into your ipad/phone instead of making an attempt to conversation is a social cop out. It doesn't mean you're more connected, or well put together, or more important. It means you lack the social skills to make small talk or "network".

Unless it's within the context of the conversation, pulling our your tablet/smartphone is just plain rude. I for one would be inclined to have an accident and spill my wine on your electronics if you did that in front of me.

Edit:

For those times when you're oncall and it's truly important, as in life threatening, then the proper etiquette is to quickly check, then put it away. Not to reply, not to read deeply etc.. If you have to respond, then you politely excuse yourself, and exit the engagement to deal with the issue so as to not disturb the rest of the gathering.

Some people may say IT type people don't ever get into life threatening stuff, but that's oddly enough not true. I support services where tele-surgery happens, and it's all real time, and it can be life and death. But then again, I wouldn't be going to a social gathering when I'm oncall for that type of situation, so it's rarely an issue.

[FraserB]

These rules do not apply if its urgent business/you are on call for work.

[nissanK]

RUDE.

This is my opinion only though. It appears to be a socially accepted norm now :rolleyes:

[Myrrinda]

I think it's so rude. I'll only check my phone QUICKLY if I'm in a casual restaurant with family or close friends. Never when I'm with strangers. It gives such a bad impression. If it's an important call or email, then excuse yourself and leave the room. I see people allow their kids to play with their DSs at the table in restaurants, etc. My parents would have cut my hands off if I had even tried to pull out a book at the table, whether in public or at home. Learn to socialize!

[Ben]

This is more of a comment for people that are on their phones while out for dinner with their wife/husband/partner.

I don't care who anyone is, if you're out for dinner with your significant other, at a place anything better than lets say "Dennys", and you cant unplug for long enough to enjoy your night out together, it says to me and a lot of people I'm sure, that you have a combination of the following:

a) have little respect for your partner
b) have little interest in being out with your partner
c) have little interest in what your partner has to say (especially if you're just texting friends, responding to non urgent work matters, surfing a website/Facebook)
d) have little respect for anyone else in the restaurant because you're "That Guy/Girl" at the restaurant on the phone all night that always seems to be at the table beside you.

Of course there will be people who disagree, and that is fine, some cultures see this as no big deal whatsoever, and need their phones glued to their hands at all times. And some people are in a line of work that enslaves you at all hours expecting you to answer calls on evenings, weekends, days off. (No thanks did that for a long time, never again).

And dont say "My partner doesn't care" because unless they're doing the exact same thing as you and your dinner nights out consist of talking more to clients to each other, they do. I know I would hate to not have the full attention from the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, of even the person I'm currently spending my night with. On the phone = disinterested in you, chops up the night, and is rude. After a while, it will wear on someone. Lack of Communication is a major relationship killer, and those nights out should be more about you two, and less about work. Work Life Balance.

Obviously if you're on call like a doctor or something, your spouse will understand because they should have expected there will be occasions that shit happens when they committed to the relationship. But you plan for nights your not on call, leave the phone/pager at home (or car) and enjoy each others company. Or...dump them and buy stock in your phones manufacturer and cuddle with that at night.

My opinion.

[Tik-Tok]

Well said.



Originally posted by Ben

And dont say "My partner doesn't care" because unless they're doing the exact same thing as you


I always get a laugh when I see another couple in a restaurant, both on their phones furiously clicking away. I always joke that they're texting each other :rofl: But really, I wonder why the fuck they're even on a date.

[Feruk]

Wow now, there are perfectly acceptable ways of integrating phones and socializing. I get work related important phone calls at any random time on any random day. I check who's calling, and if it's important enough, I'll just excuse myself for a minute and take it. A rig that my company is paying tens of thousands of dollars for daily ain't gonna sit around because I'm having dinner! You'd have to be an idiot not to take a call like that. Take the call quickly and get back to what you were doing.

Having said that, there is the other end of the spectrum. I took this girl out once that kept getting texts and replying to them over and over. After a few minutes, I flat out told her the phone stays in her pocket or I'm out of there.

I think checking e-mails when you're out with more than one person is ok as long as you quickly browse through them and put your phone away. No spending 5 minutes reading them and replying. Reply later; they call if it's important.

If you're at a big presentation that's intensely boring, web surfing on your phone comes back on the table. I will admit this is rude, but so is the dullness of the presentation to my time.

Do what makes sense, duh! I've found the above to be typical in industry. As for the IPAD, that's a combination of epic and rude overkill haha. I admire your creativity, but if you were over for dinner at my place, you'd be getting booted.

[max_boost]

When I hang out with some of my girlfriends, we have 'text' breaks lol where we both proceed to check our messages haha

[blitz]

Originally posted by Ben
This is more of a comment for people that are on their phones while out for dinner with their wife/husband/partner.

I don't care who anyone is, if you're out for dinner with your significant other, at a place anything better than lets say "Dennys", and you cant unplug for long enough to enjoy your night out together, it says to me and a lot of people I'm sure, that you have a combination of the following:

a) have little respect for your partner
b) have little interest in being out with your partner
c) have little interest in what your partner has to say (especially if you're just texting friends, responding to non urgent work matters, surfing a website/Facebook)
d) have little respect for anyone else in the restaurant because you're "That Guy/Girl" at the restaurant on the phone all night that always seems to be at the table beside you.

Of course there will be people who disagree, and that is fine, some cultures see this as no big deal whatsoever, and need their phones glued to their hands at all times. And some people are in a line of work that enslaves you at all hours expecting you to answer calls on evenings, weekends, days off. (No thanks did that for a long time, never again).

And dont say "My partner doesn't care" because unless they're doing the exact same thing as you and your dinner nights out consist of talking more to clients to each other, they do. I know I would hate to not have the full attention from the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, of even the person I'm currently spending my night with. On the phone = disinterested in you, chops up the night, and is rude. After a while, it will wear on someone. Lack of Communication is a major relationship killer, and those nights out should be more about you two, and less about work. Work Life Balance.

Obviously if you're on call like a doctor or something, your spouse will understand because they should have expected there will be occasions that shit happens when they committed to the relationship. But you plan for nights your not on call, leave the phone/pager at home (or car) and enjoy each others company. Or...dump them and buy stock in your phones manufacturer and cuddle with that at night.

My opinion.

Couldn't have said it better.

[Squishy]

I think it's rude. Ben said it very well.

You're trying to have a conversation and there is complete lack of interest and if their phone is right in their face, they hardly pay attention anyways. It makes me less motivated to talk so I just sit there and mind my business. Then I get asked "Why are you so quiet?" or "What's wrong?"

hmmm.....

[Jlude]

unless it's an emergency or a important business deal call you've been waiting for... it's rude.

If I give a shit about the person I'm with, I don't touch my phone.

That being said, I almost always use my phone at dinner. :rofl: