number of defications by 30 years old...

[Thaco]

In keeping with the theme of "by 30" threads... i am concerned, i was talkign with my friends, and they've all averaged around 16000 poops by age 30.... i am 29 years old and only at 14000 poops... should i try to poop more or will that stress my anus?

should i fibreload? or save my poops for when i am older and they'll pass easier? how many poops have you had?

[Disoblige]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[Chester]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[G]

Take exlax why would anybody want to aim for average is beyond me.

[benyl]

Holy shit you shit a lot.

I am almost 36 and average 1 dump per day.


I am barely over 13,000 dumps.

[KRyn]

:rofl:

Too many seriously lame threads on beyond.ca recently! One can only tolerate beyond members stroking their E-peens so much.

Try fireloading instead of fiberloading! Eat at least 5 heaping tablespoons of Siracha, it is sure to increase your poop count! If nothing else it will give you some entertainment in the form of the ring of fire!

[Thaco]

Originally posted by benyl
Holy shit you shit a lot.

I am almost 36 and average 1 dump per day.


I am barely over 13,000 dumps. well, your response is very releiving

[Tarrantula]

Originally posted by Thaco
well, your response is very releiving

Its this kind of crap that is clogging up beyond servers

[Thaco]

Originally posted by Tarrantula


Its this kind of crap that is clogging up beyond servers HAH< i see what you did thar!

[chibwack]

My brother, it's called Oxy-Powder!

[Chester]

Originally posted by benyl
Holy shit you shit a lot.

I am almost 36 and average 1 dump per day.


I am barely over 13,000 dumps.

Damn, a dump a day. I'm already on my 3rd dump haha.

[benyl]

Originally posted by Chester


Damn, a dump a day. I'm already on my 3rd dump haha.

I don't like to waste time with shit. I just do it all at once.

[FullFledgedYYC]

Originally posted by benyl


I don't like to waste time with shit. I just do it all at once.

Can we please push past this topic now?

[Xtrema]

Originally posted by Thaco
or save my poops for when i am older and they'll pass easier?

Why wait? Just buy your GF a strap-on and go to town!

[nismodrifter]

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/010/334/U-WOT-M8.jpg

[ga16i]

I prefer quality over quantity. At 16k dumps by age 30 that's avg. ~1.4 dumps per day. I just can't see quality crap coming out of that. Take your time and take pride in your work. You can also weigh yourself before and after to get an estimate of real useful output.

[Disoblige]

Originally posted by benyl


I don't like to waste time with shit. I just do it all at once.
So most of the time you're full of shit. I get it!

[FraserB]

The key is to cut it down to once a week. If you average five minutes per visit, you end up saving 26 hours of the course over a year.

[finboy]

A+ thread

Try chipotle? It's good that beyond members are actively trying to be less full of shit :thumbsup:

[benyl]

http://mylittlereviewcorner.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/004.jpg

[ExtraSlow]

For some real enjoyment, try adding some psyillium fibre to your (presumably) already fibre rich diet. Benfibre is one brand that has produced results that were impressive for me in the past.

If you travel for work, or work in any position in the oilpatch, one added bonus of this is that it also increases the volume and frequecy of gaseous emmisions. This can increase the hilarity of your day tenfold.

Caution, not suitable for some carreer choices.

Another enjoyable way to add vareity is to eat at least six eggs in one day, along with some dark, hoppy beer.

Variety is the spice of life my friend, don't judge yourself on merely the numerical total of your excretions, but enjoy the rich tapestry that life has to offer.

[Darkane]

You guys need to spend more time on toilet.

The bowls keep moving well after your first shit.

Grab a magazine, an Iphone, Ipad or Newspaper and shit man. None of this 1-2 minute shit crap.

[Disoblige]

Originally posted by Thaco
should i try to poop more or will that stress my anus?

should i fibreload? or save my poops for when i am older and they'll pass easier? how many poops have you had?
I think that you should definitely try to poop more if you can since you're still young. My mom and dad regretted not pooping as much when they were younger. They're doing it more now, but it's a totally different experience.

Poop for the right reasons. Pooping is meant to set you free and give you opportunities to enrich your life with experiences. I'm just being realistic. It allows you to do so much shit you otherwise couldn't.

[ga16i]

Originally posted by Darkane
You guys need to spend more time on toilet.

The bowls keep moving well after your first shit.

Grab a magazine, an Iphone, Ipad or Newspaper and shit man. None of this 1-2 minute shit crap.

Damn right! It's Al Bundy time.

Who the eff suggested people save it up for a week?!!! I'm pretty regular and go everyday. I can't imagine how much shit that is physically after a whole week. Regular crap volume times 7 is absolutely insane and I'd imagine would completely fill up the damn toilet.

[civic_stylez]

I used to take advantage of Taco Tuesday years ago. My shit count was off the chart.

[Xtrema]

Originally posted by FraserB
The key is to cut it down to once a week. If you average five minutes per visit, you end up saving 26 hours of the course over a year.

But you do it on someone else's dime. So you do that at work. Also less wear and tear for the toilet at home = less time spend on cleaning after your own shit. Save $ on water bill too.

:rofl:

[Sugarphreak]

...

[ekguy]

Is anyone factoring having the shits in here? I know there's been quite a few times where i'll shit a "solid" 12 to 15 times in a night if I ate something that really fucked me over....

This could definitely increase some of your guys' numbers...

I feel like there are too many variables to calculate this accurately.

Just sayin...

:dunno:

[ga16i]

Originally posted by Sugarphreak
My goal was to poop 1.7 Million times

Of course you might say anybody trying to chalk up 1.7M is likely going to fall short and full of shit.


YES!

1,700,00 / 365 = 4658 dumps per day
4658 / 100 = 47

On average you'd need to take 47 dumps in a day or roughly twice an hour for every day in your life if you live to 100.

[speedog]

Originally posted by ga16i
YES!

1,700,00 / 365 = 4658 dumps per day
4658 / 100 = 47

On average you'd need to take 47 dumps in a day or roughly twice an hour for every day in your life if you live to 100. Now you're just shitting us.

[XylathaneGTR]

Originally posted by benyl


I don't like to waste time with shit. I just do it all at once.

The boss makes a dollar while I make a dime, so that's why I shit on company time!

[Thaco]

Originally posted by XylathaneGTR


The boss makes a dollar while I make a dime, so that's why I shit on company time! new sig, bahahahahahaha, it's even funnier because my boss surfs beyond!

[ZorroAMG]

Crap...I'm in the wrong thread.

[sabad66]

Am I the only one that avgs. < 1 per day? probably about 5/week (srs lol)

[DeeK]

I find that the number of craps in my average day is directly proportional to the amount of ehtnic food I have eaten. For example, I splurge and make some butter chicken. That's at least 2 dumps the next day.

I can demonstrate this with a graph, but I'm thinking that its not really necessary.

Now take an ethnic food and mix it with another shit instigator, like spicy food. Well, they just multiply off each other.

This simple formula usually works quite well.

(1 + x)^x = my daily dump
- 1 being my average daily dumps.
- x being the number of ethic foods, spicy foods, or other such shit inducing foods

If I decide to be an experimental eater the night before. well fuck, some days I don't even leave the bathroom.


edit: if any of you have ever had to do one of those organs x-rays at the doctors/hospital, the ones where you have to take the barium supplement to make things show up. Barium = 100x. I'm not joking. don't bother leaving the can.

[buh_buh]

I used to average about 3-4 per week. Now I'm eating more fruit and vegetables and I'd say I'm up to maybe one solid shit a day. Definitely feels better to be on the can more.

[acura_el]

Originally posted by ga16i
I prefer quality over quantity. At 16k dumps by age 30 that's avg. ~1.4 dumps per day. I just can't see quality crap coming out of that. Take your time and take pride in your work. You can also weigh yourself before and after to get an estimate of real useful output.

I started weighing myself recently. I'm averaging one per day and the last one, I lost 1.8lbs between my pre and post weigh-in.

[Darkane]

:rofl:

You fucking guys

[max_boost]

Always take a dump before the big game. Always.

[diamondedge]

Originally posted by max_boost
Always take a dump before the big game. Always.

I love dropping a deuce before the gym, feels like I can lift more haha

[sputnik]

My poopdometer broke after 11234 poops.

What am I going to do without the proper count?

[KRyn]

Originally posted by Sugarphreak
You sound a little butt hurt over it dude :rofl:

Nah bro, I don't care what everyone posts anonymously via the Internet on beyond.ca. Bro, buddy, guy, chief, I am only here for the LOLS and the TROLLS... but mainly the TROLLS!


Originally posted by diamondedge


I love dropping a deuce before the gym, feels like I can lift more haha

If you want to walk on the wild side don't deuce before a max effort squat day. If the thought of voiding your bowels in front of numerous strangers doesn't get you out of the hole real fast nothing will.

[Disoblige]

Originally posted by KRyn

If you want to walk on the wild side don't deuce before a max effort squat day. If the thought of voiding your bowels in front of numerous strangers doesn't get you out of the hole real fast nothing will.
Worst. Idea. Ever. :rofl: