My life sucks

[HRD2PLZ]

Well, April 4th of this year I was in a car accident. It was a 3 car pile up started by me. I proved that I was going less than 8km/h by the damage to both my car and the car I ran into. I pushed the guy I hit into the vehicle infront of him because there wasn't enough space between their cars. Long story short, I hit a "hot-head" who verbally bashed and swore at me up and down threatening law suits, etc. Whatever :dunno: It was proven that this would be his 6th injury claim and my insurance company found out he's in his 50's, recently divorced and just moved from Edmonton to live in his mothers house.
We both reported the accident the next day. On saturday I got served with papers. I'm being charged with "Undue care and attention." The officer said its about a $207 fine, some demerit points and since I'm 19 might result in the loss of my license for a month or two :banghead:
All this right before I go to England for 3 weeks:bullshit: and I recently got diagnosed with Lupus, and am also being currenty tested for diabetes. my life sucks!

[bol]

Well dude I dunno what to say...

but in regards to your ticket - fight it. At the very least talk to the prosecuter at the courts and explain the situation. Chances are you can get it dropped to a lesser charge or dropped all together.

Undue care is a six demerit point ticket if I remember properly... and I bartered one of mine down to an invalid lane change violation (like $50 and two points.)

[Superesc]

Ouch, can't say I know how you feel, sometime life just throws a curve at you and you just gotta take it like monkey in a cage. But like everything in life, where there's a sunset, there'll be a sunrise... :thumbsup:

[5gluder]

Damn!!! Sorry to hear that :(. I can't give you much advice, because I have never been in your shoes. What i can say is that whenever I was stuck in a ditch, my friends were always there to help me out. I'm sure you will get through it :).

[G]

The Universe is very well balanced. Someday you will have what is owed to you. Just need to wait it out. I had a very tough life too but things are turning out better and better for me the last few years. The worst thing that happened to me was having my girlfriend of 4 years die in my arms while her mom was on her knees begging the doctors to save her....
:(

[speedracer]

The ticket I would fight. Careless / Undue attention is a big stain on the record as it can get you a suspension faster. (Call Pointts for help).

As for the guy.. well what can I say. It does seem like he's in it for the $$. I hate people like that.:bullshit:

The answer to life is 6X7
(I agree with Gspot, things eventually work out - just takes time)

[HRD2PLZ]

Well, both of my neighbours are lawyers so they're gonna call some friends and see what they can do. I'm pretty much guaranteed to lose my license so I don't really care too much about that. From my calculations I've only got 6 points left to lose. I guess I'll most likely have to plead guilty to a lesser charge. :banghead:


Oh- and as I was writing this, I got served with more papers. I guy I hit is suing me for $125,000. :dunno: Whatever.


Thanks for the advice guys,

Trevor

[infamous]

well to be honest, i really don't know if there is anything i can say to make you feel better, but i hope that things turn around for you. one thing that i have realized in life is that you don't often encounter 1 problem at a time, they all have to come and take you by surprise like 50 at a time. just hope for the best and take things one at a time. hope you have a better day today!

[Superesc]

Originally posted by GSpot
The Universe is very well balanced. Someday you will have what is owed to you. Just need to wait it out. I had a very tough life too but things are turning out better and better for me the last few years. The worst thing that happened to me was having my girlfriend of 4 years die in my arms while her mom was on her knees begging the doctors to save her....
:(

Woo that's one of the worse experience I've heard ever....

[Fat Dave]

Some people get more than their share of "life experience" like this. Often it seems too much to bear.

After many years in the Canadian military, I was bored stiff and very frustrated, so I went overseas and joined the French Foreign Legion. For five years I toured the worst parts of the globe witnessing firsthand (and participating in) man's inhumanity to man. I buried many comrades and was hospitalized three different times myself.

One thing I learned in my school of hard knocks is that life isn't fair. Some people get dealt far more shit than others their whole life. The only advice I can give you is to recognize that life isn't fair, and there's no sense in worrying about things you have no control over. You can't control whether or not you have lupus, you can't control whether or not you have diabetes, and you can't control jerky people who want to sue you to get paid.

Understand that this advice comes from a Ch'an Buddhist (and a caucasian one at that), and one who meditates regularly, so what works for me may not work for you, but I highly recommend spending some time focusing on nothing but the present moment. Just sit, and breathe, and "be". You can't control the future, and you can't control the actions of others, so don't waste your energy worrying about them. You can control who you are and what you do, and thus you control how much pleasure you get out of life.

The lawsuit should be covered by your insurance whichever way it goes. Your insurance company will want to fight it anyways, since they're not particularily interested in writing a $125,000 cheque. If it can be shown how incredibly minor the accident was, it'll probably get tossed out.

As for the ticket, definitely go downtown and plead not guilty. You'll get a court date for several months down the road, and you can go fight it then. In the meantime, don't worry about it. If you like, you can get one of those traffic ticket lawyer firms to go in for you and fight it - they can usually get things knocked down or thrown out.

[Fluidic]

OMG dude... Fat Dave man... those are some of the most powerful, some of the most influential, thought provoking words I have ever read!

Dude... you like totally calmed me down about life... I can't believe it...

Wow... *stunned*

Peter

[infamous]

holy fuck...fat dave, you should be a councellor to help people. your words have really hit me hard, because when you think about it, it is very true in life. why worry about things you can't control? it's just not worth it

[HRD2PLZ]

Wow Dave...that was really powerful. I guess these issues seem really big right now because the last 3 years of my life has been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster. But thanks guys :thumbsup:

[Fat Dave]

Thanks, that was just a nugget, but if you can keep even that in mind it will help you.

If you find yourself getting angry or upset, stop and think - am I upset at myself for something I did, or am I upset at "life" for something I have no control over? If you're upset at yourself for something you did, stop! Lesson learned, don't do it again. If you're upset at life, life doesn't care, so don't waste your energy. If you're upset at someone else, just remember that you can't control what they do/think/feel.

If someone honks and yells at you for going to slow or not merging to their standards, who cares? Maybe they're all stressed out about something, and you certainly can't control their mood or how they react to it. You can get all worked up about it and give them the finger or go cut them off or whatever, but why bother? So what if they think you might have done something wrong? It doesn't matter what they think of you or your actions. Chuckle to yourself about his funny reaction, and get back to living in the moment.

Everything you do, do it perfectly, and recognize that you do it perfectly. When you eat, eat perfectly. Taste the food, think about the smell, the texture, the flavours. When you converse, converse perfectly. Don't let your mind wander, don't think about what the other person might or might not be thinking, just listen. When you trip and fall down, recognize that you've fallen down perfectly - exactly as one should fall down. You have executed the perfect trip! How can you not smile?

Some people go for a walk or a jog or a drive or go sit in the park to think about their problems. Try doing one of the above and think only about living the moment. Look at the vibrance of the leaves in the trees, note the expressions of the people you see, feel the wind move across you. Just experience the now. Concentrate only on what you are experiencing that moment. If your mind starts to wander, snap it back to now - you're in charge! Just breathe and observe.

Be mindful of everything you do and everything you feel, and you will find the joy in it.

If you ever need to chat to help you refocus, don't be afraid to give me a holler.

[Rydog]

whoa. Those are some deep thoughts man.

[Fluidic]

Originally posted by Fat Dave
Thanks, that was just a nugget, but if you can keep even that in mind it will help you.

If you find yourself getting angry or upset, stop and think - am I upset at myself for something I did, or am I upset at "life" for something I have no control over? If you're upset at yourself for something you did, stop! Lesson learned, don't do it again. If you're upset at life, life doesn't care, so don't waste your energy. If you're upset at someone else, just remember that you can't control what they do/think/feel.

If someone honks and yells at you for going to slow or not merging to their standards, who cares? Maybe they're all stressed out about something, and you certainly can't control their mood or how they react to it. You can get all worked up about it and give them the finger or go cut them off or whatever, but why bother? So what if they think you might have done something wrong? It doesn't matter what they think of you or your actions. Chuckle to yourself about his funny reaction, and get back to living in the moment.

Everything you do, do it perfectly, and recognize that you do it perfectly. When you eat, eat perfectly. Taste the food, think about the smell, the texture, the flavours. When you converse, converse perfectly. Don't let your mind wander, don't think about what the other person might or might not be thinking, just listen. When you trip and fall down, recognize that you've fallen down perfectly - exactly as one should fall down. You have executed the perfect trip! How can you not smile?

Some people go for a walk or a jog or a drive or go sit in the park to think about their problems. Try doing one of the above and think only about living the moment. Look at the vibrance of the leaves in the trees, note the expressions of the people you see, feel the wind move across you. Just experience the now. Concentrate only on what you are experiencing that moment. If your mind starts to wander, snap it back to now - you're in charge! Just breathe and observe.

Be mindful of everything you do and everything you feel, and you will find the joy in it.

If you ever need to chat to help you refocus, don't be afraid to give me a holler.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[max_boost]

HRD2PLZ, don't worry, things will get better:)

FatDave, what you wrote was very inspirational:thumbsup:

[infamous]

damn. that's all i can say for right now. fat dave, you should consider writing a book, because what you have wrote in the 4 or 5 paragraphs is incredibly deep, and you should be sharing that with everyone. i could never think that deep, and you really have a talent. all that i can think of is what you said, and how true it is, and :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[4wheeldrift]

Originally posted by HRD2PLZ

All this right before I go to England for 3 weeks:bullshit: and I recently got diagnosed with Lupus, and am also being currenty tested for diabetes. my life sucks!

I know lupus can sound like a terrifying disease when the doctors explain it, and it can be. But it isn't necessarily the end, no matter what the doctors might tell you (if indeed you are shown to have lupus of the necessary strength that it is fatal, and it isn't always). My girlfriend was diagnosed a couple weeks ago with late stage 4 non-hodgkins lymphoma. She is fighting hard to stay with us because what she truly desires is to live. She's on serious chemo and is in agony almost all the time but she is fighting hard. it would have been easy to give up and just wait for the end, but she is battling with all of her strength to keep going. If it is bad, don't lose hope. Positive thinking and a strong desire to live can overcome an awful lot. Healing, especially with a disease like cancer or lupus is as much mental as it is physical. Having a lot of support is essential. I send my girlfriend emails every day telling her how special she is to me, how much she means to be and try to take her mind off of the pain, even if only for a little while. It reminds her of why she is fighting and it helps focus her mind on fighting so that she can fight most effectively. I can't even get in to the hospital to visit her because her immune system is very weak and they have her isolated for fear a cold or anything else could make things much worse. But I manage to give her strength and hope as best I can over ICQ and the phone. If it turns out to be bad, find an anchor, someone you care about deeply and fight for them. Fight for your friends and family, all the people that are special to you. Never lose sight of the goal, to live. Every day, seeming "miracles" occur because someone with a bad disease fought hard and came out on top despite the odds. The news could be bad, but remember that if you desire to live and you fight hard things can always get better.

This is a poem that would seem to apply to this particular situation (once again if it does prove to be that serious).


Do not go gentle into that good night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas-

[HRD2PLZ]

Wow man, I'm really sorry for you. I guess I'm not really worried about my health. I'm not scared to die, I've sort of begun to live my life day to day, I might die tomorrow or I might live an average life span. Nobody knows. But yeah, I've calmed down a bit, my parents are paying for a lawyer. I'll let everyone know how it goes. You guys rule :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[infamous]

hey that's what friends are for!! i hope everything works out for you in the end!

[Big_Six_Boy]

HRD2PLZ, I feel for you man. I've been through much hardship in my life and only now has things been turning around. I'm not a religious person, but I DO believe in Karma. Life will take you on a path that's filled with up's and down's, but in the end things will balance out. You WILL overcome this.

Fat Dave, you rule! I could not have said it better myself. Your talk was both honest and inspiring.

4wheeldrift, sorry to hear about your situation. That's really tough. All the best to you and your girlfriend.

:thumbsup: