Wedding ideas and costs

[LUDELVR]

To all you married folks out there, I've been looking into prices for weddings and I know that there are some pretty baller weddings but could some of you more frugal spenders out there please elucidate me on the average costs with a break down of what you paid for and what was needed? Also, where would you cut down and where would you splurge if you would do it again.

PM me if you don't want to post it up publicly too.

Cheers folks!

[taemo]

It depends on venue, how many guests, reception, food. some people values all their families to be present, others want a small quiet wedding and some (like us) wants to go somewhere nice for our honeymoon.
I've heard of people spending $2,000 and some that went up to $60,000-80,000

Personally my fiance and I are saving $10,000-15,000 for our wedding next year but we are planning on a destination wedding

[JRSC00LUDE]

As far as the splurge, open bar. :thumbsup:

I did that for mine and it was a legendary party. In fact, the marriage is long dead but the memories of the party live to this day! :rofl:

[ExtraSlow]

Mine was pretty mid-range on most things, but we splurged on photography. It ended up being the single biggest expense, but we were so happy with did that.

You want the food to be good, but IMO, it's not the main attraction, so don't overdo it.

Also, if you are considering destination weddings, be respectful of the limitations of your guests. Not everyone can afford to fly to mexico to attend a wedding, and some people just won't want to spend an entire week "celebrating" your relationship when they feel like laying on the beach. Some people also have very limited vacation time.

I was invited to two different destinations weddins in the same year once, and I simply didn't have the funds to attend both. I felt like a real jerk telling the second guy I wasn't going.

[gretz]

Destination wedding was a must...

People from both of our close friends and families are mostly from Ontario. Instead of flying out to Calgary and paying for food, hotels, etc.. why not just go on vacation with everyone...

5 star resort in Cuba, ~$900 each ticket, 10 days, +$1300 for our wedding package, that's it.

They do all of the setup, which included;
-palm tree lined runway with a gazebo on the beach
-a photographer (really good photographer, nice equipment)
-all of the girls flowers and hair
-a catamaran for pictures
-another gazebo with champagne and fresh fruit for toasts / speeches
-A 6 course fully catered dinner
-2 tier wedding cake
-music, DJ, venue
-Open bar (lol, all inclusive)

Then you get another 8 days or so to party it up with your friends and family.

It wasn't even comparable, in any way, to anything we could have got out here, aside from the price. Oh, and they forgot to charge us for the wedding upon checkout, couldn't have been better lol...

[sillysod]

9 years ago did it at the Sheraton Eau Claire.

2 drink tickets per person then full fare for booze
300 guests and plated service (I hate buffet style at a wedding).

Wedding ceremony was done at the same location with a JP.

Almost 10 years ago I remember it costing just under $50k.

[Disoblige]

Originally posted by gretz
Oh, and they forgot to charge us for the wedding upon checkout, couldn't have been better lol...
:eek: Awesome! lol

[eblend]

Think mine was about 5k total, with the cost of wedding rings which were about 2k. We had a small 25 person thing at Canmore Nordic Center. We didn't see the value of spending any more than thatg when money could be better used elsewhere. Lunch time wedding, then some activities, and then just drove out with everyone to a few lakes around banff, took more pictures and that was it, over and done with.

My buddy is a pro photographer so I only had to pay like $400 bucks for 3 wedding albums, one for us, one for my inlaws and one for my parents, so worked out well :D

[ExtraSlow]

My wedding band was $80 bucks, and I bought it for myself two days before the ceremony. Still like it, although my wife keeps talking about getting a "better" one for me.

[Mitsu3000gt]

1) Get married in front of a judge, or hold some sort of small, private, ceremony.

2) Throw a free-booze & food party for all your friends & family at a community hall, large back yard, or similar place that costs next to nothing.

3) Take the $10,20, 50K+++++ you would have otherwise wasted on a single day and put a down payment on a house, start an education fund for future kids, or take a crazy awesome honeymoon.

I find these days weddings are more about pleasing everyone else instead of the bride & groom, and I personally think it's pointless. I've been to so many weddings where the bride & groom didn't even know half the people at the wedding because they were all people their parents' wanted them to invite, etc. etc.

Destination wedding is another option, but the downside is that some people who may not be able to afford it or get time off work are sort of forced to come, especially immediate family and bridal parties.

Just my opinion of course :D

[mo_money2supe]

Got married almost 3 years ago and here's a breakdown of our costs then:

- Church: Free-will donation (~$500-$1000)
- Food: ~$60/person, included cost for two bottles of wine per table of 10 ppl (one white, one red); we had about 300 people but between monetary gifts and lucky red envelopes, we broke even on the food
- Photography: $6,000 (used Andras Schram, back when he was reasonably affordable)
- Dresses: #1=$1500 (bought main dress), #2=$500 (rented Chinese dress); Suit (MTM): $500 from HK
- Wedding Bands: Hers: $1,500; His: $300
- Misc. extras (ie. A/V equipment, decorations, guest sign-in books, etc.): $1,000
- All helpers at wedding were volunteers so various gifts and thank-you meals; price: unknown
- Honeymoon: $5,500 all-inclusive to St. Lucia for a week for the both of us, incl. flights, hotels, food, etc. (+$1,100 'cause we mis-read our itinerary, missed our flight there, and had to pay out of pocket for another pair of one-way tickets :cry: )

[heavyfuel]

Spending all that money for a pompous party and to officially throw your life away... un fuckin real lol

[sputnik]

If I had the chance to do it again...

I would have a much smaller wedding and rent out a larger room at nice restaurant instead of having 120+ people at a typical banquet hall.

Keeping a guest list to around 50-60 people keeps the night intimate and close. It gives you a chance to really hang out with your guest and not have a bunch of random relatives and acquaintances there.

[cosmok]

Not getting married is free, and you save on the divorce costs.

[gretz]

Originally posted by cosmok
Not getting married is free, and you save on the divorce costs.

Not eating is free, and you save on weight loss supplements...

nice post donkey lol

[sillysod]

I dunno, I don't regret it been a easy last 9 years.

The thing I don't get it people borrowing money for a wedding or spending a bunch of money when they don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.

If you plan for it and can comfortably save up spend what you want. I only plan on doing this once and personally I have no problem paying a little more to not have people sitting on plastic lawn chairs, drinking big bear and eating boiled hot dogs.

[ntegra98rs]

Originally posted by sillysod
I dunno, I don't regret it been a easy last 9 years.

The thing I don't get it people borrowing money for a wedding or spending a bunch of money when they don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.

If you plan for it and can comfortably save up spend what you want. I only plan on doing this once and personally I have no problem paying a little more to not have people sitting on plastic lawn chairs, drinking big bear and eating boiled hot dogs.

This.

[bignerd]

28 people including ourselves, about 10 grand.
We splurged on open bar-any and all alcohol was included, and we had a seated 3 course meal with multiple options.

My brother is a photographer so we flew him in from Japan, we didn't have to pay him but I guess it was still a "splurge".

Our wedding was also out of town, not destination but guests had to get hotel etc.. so we felt it necessary to have a proper dinner and free booze.


Lamest wedding we went to was a long ceremony, then only appetizers after, a glass of wine and that was it. Was a long night to go without eating...

Even with only 26 guests the night was still busy and rushed, I barely ate dinner, don't even think I had cake? Small is better!!!!!!!

[Sugarphreak]

...

[LUDELVR]

Thanks for the posts and insights guys.

In the end, we are looking at a bigger wedding in Calgary simply because most of our friends and family is here with the exception of a few across Canada and some in the states. Thought about a destination wedding but like many have said, a lot of people wouldn't be able to get the time off from work and I have quite a few people in my life that have seen me blossom (or wilt depending on how you look at it) into the wonderful flower I am today and I would love to have them at this event.

Thinking about 200 guests tops and it's looking like it'll be in February around family day so yeah, a winter's wedding. I reckon this will cut costs down on venue as well. That being said, where would a cool/unique venue be for a winter wedding in Calgary that can accommodate 200 guests.

Looking at buffet meal for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I love variety! I know, pretty ironic considering that it's a wedding! :devil: also, people can get as much or as little as they want and of what they want. I was told that this will also save vs. a plated meal. To be honest, I was never satisfied with a plated meal and found myself always picking off other people's plates!!! :rofl:

Things are still in the works so I'll try and list things as they come along but yeah, any other ideas to cut costs like doing certain things by yourself. Oh yeah, like the cake! I can't believe people are paying what they do for cake! Unbelievable!

The idea is to have a bigger wedding that is still cost effective (cheaper) yet still fun and fancy!

[nickyh]

Figure out what is important to you first and go from there.

Do you want a fancy reception but a basic ceremony (or vice versa), is food important, is booze important, is a DJ and cake important. There are million things you can spend your money on but all those little things won't make the day any extra special.

Once you know what you can live with / without and will not compromise on it's easier to set a budget.

If you and the future spouse already live together, then having people buy gifts off a registry is probably best avoided (unless you really need to upgrade things) as most people will just give money. Some people even register for a honeymoon so maybe that's a route to go as well?
Most people tend to give enough money to pay for their dinner and then a little something else so that can offset the cost of the reception to some degree.

[bigbadboss101]

I am in the middle of planning ours. We are going with the traditional way. Ceremony, reception but we will try to be a bit different. Now if I have to do it again I would go destination wedding. Pay for family members and invite friends. With the 'usual' wedding a lot of it is a show for friends and family but I think they would understand if we decide to elope or a do destaination wedding. Planning is stressful and our reception isn't going to be too expensive, likely ~$10,000. But all the little things here and there and we are looking closer to $23,000. I rather use the $ for travels, kids fund, stuff around the house, cars, etc.

[tom_9109]

The only suggestion I will make is do the wedding photos before the wedding (with rings on) or several days before. Takes all the pressure off.

[mo_money2supe]

Don't forget about your guests' costs :bigpimp:

http://business.financialpost.com/2013/05/07/no-i-dont-want-to-go-to-your-expensive-wedding/

[5G_celica]

Going through this right now. 3 more weeks and then no more eff'in wedding talk.

as mentioned before, figure out what you find important and splurge on that

for me photography/videography is want I splurged on. (almost 20% of my budget)

Get a spreadsheet going and play around with the numbers. that'll give you a good idea. if you'd like pm me your email and I'll email you my cost tracking spreadsheet to give you a good sense of how much it'll cost.

[ExtraSlow]

I like the Al Ahazar shirners place in Bowness. they have a biig room that I'm surew would accomodate 200 guests. It's a bit prettier in summer,s ince they have the big lawn and a priavate lake to look at, but I'll be it's scenic in winter too. Don't have the hassles of a downtown wedding where guests have a hard time finding parking.

[LUDELVR]

Here's a question regarding those who are catholic and got married in a catholic church and got married to someone who wasn't catholic. What had to be done I'n order for you guys to be married there?

[boarderfatty]

My parents just went through this with my cousins wedding, Things they splurged on that made a difference were 1) Open Bar, sure it's expensive, and guest may overdo it, but it is usually a lot of fun, and depending on your family may be expected. 2) a good photographer, everyone and their dog is a photographer no a days and will charge for it, review their portfolio, and check references, your wedding is only 1 day, make sure the pictures that you have to remember it forever with are up to your standards 3) have a served meal versus a buffet. Food is usually better quality, people arent forced to get up to get their food (nice for old grandparents and reatives) there is no congestion in a food line up, everyone gets the same portion of the same thing, I hate going to a wedding with a buffet, waiting till later to get food and avoid congestion then find that some of the good items are gone, like getting no chicken breast because some asshole that went up before you took 6 of which 4 would probably not get eaten.

One thing about having a big local wedding to consider is the gifts. with my cousins wedding between the gifts at the shower, and cash at the wedding, even if my cousins paid for the wedding they would have ended up ahead after the wedding. If people dont have to travel or spend money on anything, the gift will be bigger. My cousin had about 500 guests, averaged just over $200 per guest in cheques and cash, plus gifts and appliances at the shower and gift cards at he wedding as well.

[ExtraSlow]

Here's an el-cheapo tip for anyone looking to save money. Tell the florist it's for an anniversary party. Most places charge more for weddings than for other events.

This tip can also work with the cake, hair and makeup if you want to get creative.

[MrSector9]

Originally posted by sillysod
eating boiled hot dogs.

as you know I love boiled hot dogs though :(

I have been to both large expensive weddings and smaller less expensive weddings.

I totally agree to spend more on everything but have a way smaller guest list with people you care about and want to be around..... instead of cousin frank the boiled hot dog eater looking for some free food :P

[Jry_79]

Originally posted by LUDELVR
Here's a question regarding those who are catholic and got married in a catholic church and got married to someone who wasn't catholic. What had to be done I'n order for you guys to be married there?

Same as any Catholic Couples, it's okay to have a "mix" wedding, the priest may not or may not give you a "full" catholic wedding but that's not a bad thing either.

Only thing the catholic system wants the catholic individual to consider is that marriage is one of the (i think) 7 sacraments and you will not be eligible to recieve that sacrament.

And just to add value to your first question, if your thinking of open bar, to save money have free wine all night and open bar only at cocktail time before the reception. If you have open bar after the reception you may see allot of half filled drinks at the end of the night.

[ExtraSlow]

Even loonie bar cuts down on the wasted half-drinks tremendously, and isn't expensive for your guests. Hell, maybe it a loonie bar for charity if you don't want to look cheap.