Speeka De English?

[haggis88]

So basically I'm applying to become a permanent resident of this intriguingly weird and wonderful colony you call Canada.

I've discovered that in order to do this, I must take an IELTS test. This test proves my ability to comprehend one of the official languages of this country (English).

Regardless of the fact I've been a British Citizen since birth with English being my native language and all my elementary, secondary and post-secondary education from ages 5-22 being conducted in English.

So anyway, I have applied to take the test (CIC sure seems to love bits of paper that prove things), and this is the email I received back from the official test centre. These are the people who are in charge of examining PR applicants in their abilities to understand English.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r173/haggis1988/Untitled-4.jpg

Fantastic.

:english:

[shakalaka]

Your PR is in their hands, so you better do what they tell you right now. Plus, you're from Scotland, I wouldn't call what they speak over there English. :D

[The BMW Guy]

Maybe they write that so that easier the majority of people applying can understand.

[haggis88]

Originally posted by shakalaka
Your PR is in their hands, so you better do what they tell you right now. Plus, you're from Scotland, I wouldn't call what they speak over there English. :D

I love the bureaucratic nature of Canada, its rather comical compared to the UK where they just let people in to sponge off the benefits system.

I'm actually from the South of Scotland, I speak better English than most English people :bigpimp:

[shakalaka]

Where in Scotland exactly? I lived in Dundee for 4 years and it was quite interesting. I had the toughest time understanding people initially, although it did get better eventually.

[Skyline_Addict]

love the ezcarsandtrucks.com thread in the tab lol.

[haggis88]

Originally posted by shakalaka
Where in Scotland exactly? I lived in Dundee for 4 years and it was quite interesting. I had the toughest time understanding people initially, although it did get better eventually.

Ayrshire

Even I would have a hard time understanding Dundonians...the further up the east coast you go, the worse it gets :D

I guess you went to university there? I've heard the Unis are really good up there, even though it's the aids capital of Britain :rofl:


Originally posted by Skyline_Addict
love the ezcarsandtrucks.com thread in the tab lol.


constant F5 material :rofl:

[shakalaka]

Originally posted by haggis88


Ayrshire

Even I would have a hard time understanding Dundonians...the further up the east coast you go, the worse it gets :D

I guess you went to university there? I've heard the Unis are really good up there, even though it's the aids capital of Britain :rofl:




constant F5 material :rofl:

Haha yes the reason for going there was the reputation of the school. I managed to stay away from aids and avoided knocking up a teenager as well. Apparently, they have a really high rate of teenage pregnancies there too. lol

[haggis88]

Originally posted by shakalaka


Haha yes the reason for going there was the reputation of the school. I managed to stay away from aids and avoided knocking up a teenager as well. Apparently, they have a really high rate of teenage pregnancies there too. lol

well done buddy! haha, yeah it's got a reputation for that too, the rest of the UK won't be far behind though...

[englishbob]

Ask for a translator to assist you like others do.

[haggis88]

Originally posted by englishbob
Ask for a translator to assist you like others do.

maybe if i turn up in hockey gear drinking Tim Hortons coffee i'll get an automatic pass? :dunno:

people can seriously take translators to these tests?

[DeeK]

Originally posted by haggis88
people can seriously take translators to these tests?

From B.C.? then yes you can!

[voodoo]

Lol I'm from Aberdeen. Luckily when I came over there was no test.

[revelations]

OMG ..... nice email .... Might as well have said "wercome to canadar"

[dirtsniffer]

That's scary bro. Hopefully you don't get scammed out of 357 big ones.

[btimbit]

If you don't pass you have to pull one of these

http://gifstumblr.com/images/me-fail-english-thats-unpossible_605.gif

[raceman6135]

Global Village ESL schools have been around for a while but have never been particularly good. Kind of like the Wal-Mart of ESL schools.

OP won't get ripped off from a scam, and thankfully he knows more English than the communications person at GVE.

[Tezzating]

I got my PR in Nov. last year and never had to take any tests to prove I speak english?
But I'm from Australia.. probably a colonial thing, gotta stick together against motherland oppression :poosie:

[haggis88]

Originally posted by Tezzating
I got my PR in Nov. last year and never had to take any tests to prove I speak english?
But I'm from Australia.. probably a colonial thing, gotta stick together against motherland oppression :poosie:

We Scots are trying to do the same against those English opressors right now :rofl:

It depends on what route you go through for PR (there are over 50 ways) and unfortunately for me, the easiest one with regards to timescale and applying for myself has the requirement for IELTS test results... :thumbsdow

[eblend]

Originally posted by Tezzating
I got my PR in Nov. last year and never had to take any tests to prove I speak english?
But I'm from Australia.. probably a colonial thing, gotta stick together against motherland oppression :poosie:

Ditto, my wife got her PR like 4 years ago...no English tests required? Must be something new?

[haggis88]

Originally posted by eblend


Ditto, my wife got her PR like 4 years ago...no English tests required? Must be something new?

see my post above

[lilmira]

Me english good, you five dollars, take it and go!

[haggis88]

Originally posted by lilmira
Me english good, you five dollars, take it and go!

how about tree fiddy?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbi55fbitm1rp5r3ao1_1280.jpg

[cancer man]

When u can read this and understand it..you will be golden.\
From one of my previous posts.


Mr Okeri was d PHE teacher of d JSS classes back then in my secondary school days. He was tall & lanky wit an old skul look. He had a reputation 4 being harsh & a good 'flogger'. Most students dreaded him as no1 wants 2 get into any trouble wit him. Mr Okeri was usually d teacher dat executed d principal's flogging order on erring students @ d assembly ground in d mornings. He was virtually like the commandant in charge of discipline matters in our school then.
On fridays, some students usually don't feel like learning much as they don't return to their classes afta d break period. They simply went home through d back of d sch compd 4 an early start of d weekend. Dis was their own 'Thank God it's friday' (TGIF) attitude.
On a fateful friday aftanoon, a group of boys were still playing football long afta d bell had sounded 4 d end of break. Of course they had their sch bags around them so dat they culd jst go home afta some good playing time. Mr Okeri who jst entered d sch compd, was dismayed when he saw these students. He picked up a long cane & went afta them. He was shouting 'go back to ur classes' as he tried 2 chase them. These stubborn boys who were rily in their nasty moods dat day, picked up their sch shirts, sandals & bags & fled 2 d other end of the large field area. They began making fun of him by showing him all sorts of mockery signs 4rm making faces @ him to performing acrobatics & displaying their backsides wit dancing steps. 'Catch us if u can, we are going home anyway' was simply d msg to the teacher. They had d impression dat he would not recognise any1 of them as they were standin @ a seemingly safe distance away 4rm him. An albino (oboboh) was @ d forefront of dis group. Dis albino was almost d gang leader as he led d displays & took d moment wit relish. Unfortunately he didn't realize dat he was different & easily traceable among many black boys. Mr Okeri who took good note of dis albino, felt humiliated & went back to d staff room. The rackals then went home 4 d wkend.
On d following monday morning, Mr Okeri simply went round d JSS 2 classes & picked up d foolish albino. He was forced 2 expose his partners-in-crime & they were all given 5days of 'labour' afta receiving d flogging of their lives. D albino lost most of his friends afta dis experience as they wuldn't want 2 be easily tracked afta some stubborn acts.

[haggis88]

Originally posted by cancer man
When u can read this and understand it..you will be golden.\
From one of my previous posts.


Mr Okeri was d PHE teacher of d JSS classes back then in my secondary school days. He was tall & lanky wit an old skul look. He had a reputation 4 being harsh & a good 'flogger'. Most students dreaded him as no1 wants 2 get into any trouble wit him. Mr Okeri was usually d teacher dat executed d principal's flogging order on erring students @ d assembly ground in d mornings. He was virtually like the commandant in charge of discipline matters in our school then.
On fridays, some students usually don't feel like learning much as they don't return to their classes afta d break period. They simply went home through d back of d sch compd 4 an early start of d weekend. Dis was their own 'Thank God it's friday' (TGIF) attitude.
On a fateful friday aftanoon, a group of boys were still playing football long afta d bell had sounded 4 d end of break. Of course they had their sch bags around them so dat they culd jst go home afta some good playing time. Mr Okeri who jst entered d sch compd, was dismayed when he saw these students. He picked up a long cane & went afta them. He was shouting 'go back to ur classes' as he tried 2 chase them. These stubborn boys who were rily in their nasty moods dat day, picked up their sch shirts, sandals & bags & fled 2 d other end of the large field area. They began making fun of him by showing him all sorts of mockery signs 4rm making faces @ him to performing acrobatics & displaying their backsides wit dancing steps. 'Catch us if u can, we are going home anyway' was simply d msg to the teacher. They had d impression dat he would not recognise any1 of them as they were standin @ a seemingly safe distance away 4rm him. An albino (oboboh) was @ d forefront of dis group. Dis albino was almost d gang leader as he led d displays & took d moment wit relish. Unfortunately he didn't realize dat he was different & easily traceable among many black boys. Mr Okeri who took good note of dis albino, felt humiliated & went back to d staff room. The rackals then went home 4 d wkend.
On d following monday morning, Mr Okeri simply went round d JSS 2 classes & picked up d foolish albino. He was forced 2 expose his partners-in-crime & they were all given 5days of 'labour' afta receiving d flogging of their lives. D albino lost most of his friends afta dis experience as they wuldn't want 2 be easily tracked afta some stubborn acts.

Reminds me of the scene in Family Guy when Brian is teaching Remidial English and gives a "street" lesson on Romeo & Juliet