Should I dump my girl?

[artieg30]

I don't usually post personal stuff on here but one of the previous posts about OP's g/f texting an ex inspired me to put this up and get some bro advice from beyonders. I apologize for the long ass post, i've tried to summarize in point form as much as possible. Basically i'm dealing with a 26yr old kid (i'm 31) that thinks it's ok for me to pay for everything and that it's alright to call someone like her b/f an "asshole" for no real reasons. She also seems to have issues with me spending time with my family and other stuff i've listed below. I'm at my wits end and i just feel like i should walk away.

- Unreasonable expectations of time spent together. She got mad at me when i had to pick up my niece last min. at the daycare. We didn't have any plans at all that night, though she mentioned she wanted to see me, i compromised and told her I would be able to see her after my parents were able to come and look after my niece.

- A few weeks back i took my niece trick or treating for Halloween, which was planned ahead of time and i communicated to my g/f a week out that i would be doing this. I usually drive my g/f home after work, it just so happened that she had to stay late for work that same night and she got mad at me as a result of me spending time with my family and not being able to drive her home

- On the subject of my niece/family, she seems to think i spend too much time with my family. On average i see my family about 3-4 hrs a week, we usually do Sunday night dinner. it's been this tradition for awhile now. My family is very accepting and has always invited her to dinner.

- We have very different views on money. Her expectation is that the guy or bf should always treat the lady, i've paid for a majority of our expenses to which has frustrated me as there is no equality or balance. I've communicated this to her many times and we've had many fights on this and she finally decided to chip in a little more. i would say now we're at 80/20 split which i can live with, though it's still not where i want things to be.

- my g/f will often call me "cheap" or mentions that i have this look on my face every time i spend money. I genuinely don't believe i make this "face" when i spend money and have been very sensitive to it, though i still don't see it.

- She lives at home w/ her parents and i live out on my own. My expenses are a lot more than hers and i have a huge debt to pay back from a failed business 3 years ago. I have disclosed all my financial details to her in the spirit of openness and in hopes that she understands my situation better; but even after this she still thinks i should pay for all of our outings.

- She seems to think she'll eventually be making more than me in the next few years, this has come up a few times where she said she would leave me if she did start to make more or that she couldn't be with a man that made less than her. Now, i wouldn't say i have a low paying job, i'm at the cusp of 100K/year so i would consider that fairly good for someone my age, but she seems to think that since i've been working longer than her i should be making more which is just nuts. Lastly, it's 2017 and i'm all for equal gender rights which shocks me with her views on this. As a man, I would be proud of my woman making the same or more than me as it shows that we together as society have progressed.

- recently there has been huge issues of respect with her. I find that the slightest things set her off, for example I asked a "stupid" question one time and that enraged her to the point where she started dropping f-bombs on me and actually stormed out of my place and took the bus home. Even then, i offered to take her home (which is hugely inconvenient as she's on the other end of the city) and she declined. She then proceed to berate me on text and said she could find someone better etc.

- She seems to think it's acceptable to call me an asshole, and that I only "deserved it" if she said it. I've told her many times that this behavior is beyond disrespectful and generally something you should NOT call someone like your b/f or loved one. She uses her age as an excuse and says that's how most mid 20's people talk. I know this is a load of crap as i have friends which are in the same age bracket that don't talk like this.

- The word asshole is also a little bit more significant as this is the same word she addresses her biological dad. Her dad wasn't really much of a dad to her in her child hood and so there are deep feelings of resentment and hate towards him which i do understand. For me, if she is so willing to call me an asshole means that she sees me as the same as her dad?
- She's also called me dumb/stupid many times, mostly in a joking manner, but it's still hurtful to be called that from someone that is with you. I've told her how i felt about this many times and she just says i'm being too sensitive or insecure.

- She thinks i treat her like a kid, and this i might be guilty of as most times her behavior are that of a child. She says she hates "being told what to do" but at the same time she's said that she wants to be told if she's doing something wrong or if there is something that's bothering me. It's very conflicting and every time i try to tell her something is up she thinks i'm either lecturing her or "being like her dad".

- issues of privacy and trust have come up. She likes to go through the pictures on my phone or use my phone for games. Now her phone isn't that old and it's just as capable but she uses this as an excuse to go on my phone. I have called her out on this many times and have told her i don't feel comfortable with her being on my phone but she'll use this excuse of me having something to hide due to my more colorful dating past than hers. I have nothing to hide but just found it weird that she would go on my phone. When the tables reversed and i ask her for her phone she would not give it to me.

At the end of the day i have tried talking to her constructively on all these issues and she has no feedback or comment. I suggested solutions such as couples counseling or to try and find ways we can better communicate with each other, all have been shot down. She hasn't ever really been in a "Adult" relationship as she graduated University just last year so the idea of a serious relationship to her is foreign at best. With all these facts i've presented i can't really think of a reason to hang on, and for that matter she doesn't even want to try. I've done my best as a man to care for her and i've sacrificed a lot of time and money in this relationship, but i feel like she's never given back to it, just only taking. Am i being unreasonable here?

[JRSC00LUDE]

I only read the 1st paragraph, turf the bitch.

[Seth1968]

Sheesh man. You have to ask?

[D'z Nutz]

I already knew what my suggestion was going to be after the first paragraph.

Maybe you should re-read what you wrote, but imagine a friend asking you this question.

[Twin_Cam_Turbo]

Read the whole thing. Do yourself a favour and end it now before it gets any deeper, you will be happier I bet.

[Tik-Tok]

80608

[firebane]

Does she has a sister that texts her ex bf?

[diamondedge]

Drop it like it's hot.

When the bitch is giving you attitude...

[J.M.]

GTFO right now.

[01RedDX]

.

[Maxx Mazda]

Get out.

[civicHB]

I read about half of this. You need to "dump her" and move on. Family and Money are the biggest causes of relationship issues, and it seems like you both have varied opinions on both. Life is too short and you are better of single than with someone who has issues with how much time you are spending with your family (3-4 hrs per week is minimal). She knows about your prior financial issues, and should be helping you get through them, not making it worse.

[Seth1968]

I hope she doesn't go psycho when you dump here. That is, even more so than she already is.

[ZenOps]

pics first

[beyond_ban]

Run my man, run. These types of situations only get worse and end with you mad at yourself for not ending it earlier. I think you already know what you should do, so here is the confirmation that it's time to get the fishing gear back out.

[J-hop]

Her general shitty attitude aside, No offence but 31 with a career living on your own vs 26 living at home going to school (I’m guessing?) is WAY too big a gap.

The world has dropped you on your ass, you know what it’s about, she still thinks the world is ponies and rainbows.

She’s fit for the pit (she probably wouldn’t get that reference so don’t use that on her)

[BokCh0y]

You need to move on. She's too immature and has no respect for you, it's almost as bad as texting an ex in terms of disrespect. She isn't going to change nor does she want to change. If she has this attitude right now, you're gonna be miserable for the rest of your time with her. Cut your losses.

Good luck.

[spikerS]

https://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1ae5a7e4ddb5ab82e8810236af56836ab9.png

[artieg30]

Thanks guys, i knew what to do before even posting but i thought maybe i was insane or missing something... For me, i drew the straw when she got pissed that i was taking care of my niece and looking after family. She graduated Uni last year and she's currently working full time as a new grab student at a big O&G company as a trading analyst. She does alright being it's her first "real" job but i just couldn't understand how she could say shit like how she'd leave if she made more. Feels almost like she went back in time to 1953 or something. Thanks for all the input guys.

[TurboMedic]

SO, my question is what's good about her. You focused on all of that negative stuff, which was the point of the post, but what does she bring to the table that was keeping you there or brought you there in the first place. Genuinely curious

[JRSC00LUDE]

Looks.

[artieg30]

SO, my question is what's good about her. You focused on all of that negative stuff, which was the point of the post, but what does she bring to the table that was keeping you there or brought you there in the first place. Genuinely curious


Looks wouldn't be the first thing that came to mind, don't get me wrong she's got a nice bod but it was her fun and outgoing personality which initially attracted me to her. I can admit to being a bit of an old fart at times and for the first few months she brought me out of my own comfort space and challenged me to do more things together. Overall she was just fun to be around. She had volunteered a lot in her spare time with kids and that also impressed me, i figured this was a person that seemed to have a level head on their shoulders which i could potentially build something with. Beyond that she's a great cook and all but that's not why i wanted her around, as far as i'm concerned i'll eat my shitty salad and bland chicken breasts lol.

I guess what was keeping me was that i couldn't see past all the other issues like her previous relationships and she valued (or didn't in this case family etc. The stuff about money was around since day 1 but i figured once we started getting more "serious" into the relationship she would be inclined to contribute more etc.

[max_boost]

I have seen this play too many times now lol never again!

[rx7boi]

Find a better person to be with and don't be such a stepping stone next time.

The world is big enough that you don't have to second guess staying with someone like that.

You'll find someone with the same family values and show you the respect you deserve that you'll look back and feel embarrassed that you even dated this chick :rofl:

[BokCh0y]

Curiously, how long have you been with her for?

Only a sucker wouldn't address the paying for everything issue and continue to pay for all her shit.

[JRSC00LUDE]

Lucky you're getting out now, this is the chick who gets herself knocked up if she's still around in a year or so with a yo-yo style relationship. At least, if she sees the control working.

Beware the rebound hookup a few months down the road. Kill it with fire (metaphorically), she's cancer.

[revelations]

Is she a red head by chance? lol

[NissanFanBoy]

As someone who is a little bit older than you (37)... I'm going to go ahead and guess that this chick is....Asian? Sounds pretty typical of Asian chicks and I'm sure other beyonders are going to agree. It's a cultural thing, they're just raised that way. This is especially true for Asian chicks that are born here but are NOT white washed, it's usually drilled into them by their parents. I've dated all races and cultures and I can tell you for a fact that the only white girls I've known like this are the ones that hang out with Asian girls lol

One last thing and nothing personal but... Man you are putting up with a lot of shit. Quit being this bitch's bitch because that's what you are.

[suntan]

She had better be giving you the best sex of your life.

[max_boost]

Send her my way. I need a project but first, pics.

[tonytiger55]

As someone who is a little bit older than you (37)... I'm going to go ahead and guess that this chick is....Asian? Sounds pretty typical of Asian chicks and I'm sure other beyonders are going to agree. It's a cultural thing, they're just raised that way. This is especially true for Asian chicks that are born here but are NOT white washed, it's usually drilled into them by their parents. I've dated all races and cultures and I can tell you for a fact that the only white girls I've known like this are the ones that hang out with Asian girls lol

One last thing and nothing personal but... Man you are putting up with a lot of shit. Quit being this bitch's bitch because that's what you are.

I was actually going to ask if she was East Indian. :rofl:

One of the questions I would yourself is, 'is this how we both go about dealing with day to day issues?' or how we function as a couple?

As TurboMedic rightly pointed out.. what does she bring to the table? Im sure she has brough some good things. But does it balance out with the bad?

You live out on your own, she does not. She has no frame of reference to identify the responsibilities that comes with that. Those things are big.
Her going through your phone. Thats a insecurity issue and calling you names is downright disrespectful.
As for you paying for a lot of shit, thats YOUR money. Not hers. That philosophy might work in the old world, but here it does not. Expand your own frame of reference of that.

I have the same issues when I go dating. Girls have it good, they live at home with mummy and daddy, great career and going vegas with their bunnies (they all have those small ugly fucking dogs.. like wtf?). They don't understanding how hard it is moving to a new country on your own. Starting from nothing, the responsibilities of living on your own, cooking, adapting to day to day life events or even understanding why I drive a old boring reliable vehicle. They have no frame of reference or survival skills. I found a lot of the time I was babysitting them or having to deal with issues they should have worked out in their early 20's. I walked away. Im not saying your girlfriend has not any life skills. But girl should not treat you like that. Thats not how relationships work.

The way I view a relationship is that if there is a problem, you guys are on the same team. Its BTOH your problem. Both of you gota adapt and help each other out and balance out each others weaknesses. But it looks like your doing all the heavy lifting and she is being ...a bitch. Simple as. Sometimes walking away is the hardest thing. I know, ive been there.

Here is a interesting psychological way to look at it. Look at her relationship with her parents. Who is the dominant figure..? Is it her dad or her mum?
Ask the same for yourself, are you looking for someone who is like your own mother? Does it subconsciously feel comfotable to be with someone like that? It might be a good space for some self development and growth. Its how ive gone about dealing with my own issues and not repeating bad relationship habits.
Whatever you decide to do. Read what others have posted, you are NOT the first to have dealt with this issue.

[revelations]

she said she would leave me if she did start to make more or that she couldn't be with a man that made less than her.


she then proceed to berate me on text and said she could find someone better etc.

Am i being unreasonable here?


You must be on some good drugs to put up with this horseshit. So many decent women out there to choose from.

The door should not even have a chance to hit her on the way out. She needs to be gone that fast.

[ExtraSlow]

Don't dump her, just start fucking other gals at the same time and stop giving any shits about her. She's brutal.

[Seth1968]

Don't have sex with her ever again either. She may be the type who would deliberately try and get pregnant.

[revelations]

Don't dump her, just start fucking other gals at the same time and stop giving any shits about her. She's brutal.

Thats a good way to have your place trashed or your dick cut off. She is that fucked in the head.

[Tej.S]

Why put yourself through so much punishment? Before you establish a relationship with someone, form some goddamn ground rules. I honestly can't believe some of you guys put up with so much crap, it's mind-baffling.

Whatever happened to the days of common sense & logic?

[eblend]

As someone who is a little bit older than you (37)... I'm going to go ahead and guess that this chick is....Asian? Sounds pretty typical of Asian chicks and I'm sure other beyonders are going to agree. It's a cultural thing, they're just raised that way. This is especially true for Asian chicks that are born here but are NOT white washed, it's usually drilled into them by their parents. I've dated all races and cultures and I can tell you for a fact that the only white girls I've known like this are the ones that hang out with Asian girls lol

One last thing and nothing personal but... Man you are putting up with a lot of shit. Quit being this bitch's bitch because that's what you are.

Hahaha, read this, and it was exactly like the Korean girl I dated back in the day. I swear the god some of these chicks are in it for convenience of getting things paid for, rides ect, and just want someone...while they look for their perfect man.

Was the same idea with me, was first girlfriend, treated me like shit often, but I hung on for a while. We were both young and living with parents at the time, but I was working labor while in my teens to pay for university, while her parents paid for everything for her. She always seemed to look down on my for my job as I hardly ever had any money after my university was paid for. The moment she got an intern job in a big accounting company downtown, things just got worse. She thought she was all big shot all of the sudden, and not long after, fell for some co-worker at work, and broke up with me. This was the best thing to have ever happened to me. In my mind she was the one, so I held on for much longer than I should have, glad that never worked out. She did marry the guy she dump me for, and I feel sorry for the guy. She knew how to play mind games like crazy.

At the end of the day I found a much nicer girl (been married for 9 years now), and make much more money now, so jokes on her. I say dump the bitch and never look back.

[zhao]

As someone who is a little bit older than you (37)... I'm going to go ahead and guess that this chick is....Asian? Sounds pretty typical of Asian chicks and I'm sure other beyonders are going to agree..

I had to laugh at you and tony's posts, as I was thinking odds are canadian born viet or canadian born east indian. Gold digger + lives at home + batshit crazy = good chance probably one of those. University degree puts the odds in tony's favour though for picking east indian lol.

OP you should be able to find someone else easy enough. If you attracted this crazy chick and didn't piss her off enough to dump you it should be easy to attract someone more normal. Maybe tell her you are getting demoted at work and are going to make 45g a year from now on and that sounds great to you because its less responsibility and you aren't very ambitious, so hopefully she dumps you and you dont have to deal with your car getting keyed and phone calls at 3am. I wouldn't string her along or blow up at her with dumping her as the crazy could be strong with her. If only half of what you wrote is true she sounds pretty unstable.

[CompletelyNumb]

PIITB. Then kick her out forever.

[J-hop]

Show her this thread

[NissanFanBoy]

Don't sell yourself short, everyone in this thread will tell you it's not normal and it's not worth it....plenty of nice girls out there. Be patient, they do exist.

[The_Rural_Juror]

I don't get why you are overreacting.:thumbsdow

[TomcoPDR]

Show her this thread

Kinda misread your post as show her tits in this thread for some reason

[IggyB]

Not to be insensitive................

But what's taking so long to put the pics up?

Dump her!

[btimbit]

Sounds like you already know what to do.

[jwslam]

The stuff about money was around since day 1 but i figured once we started getting more "serious" into the relationship she would be inclined to contribute more etc.
There's a big difference between "I want to spend money on her" and "She demands I spend money on her"

[Swank]

Don't have sex with her ever again either. She may be the type who would deliberately try and get pregnant.

Agreed, and wait til she gets her next period to be sure. Last thing you need is her running out and getting pregnant by another guy and then claiming it's yours for revenge.

[bulaian]

I only read the 1st paragraph, turf the bitch.

This

[bleu]

You should be with someone who mutually respects you. Everyday you waste on this girl, is a day you are unable to find someone deserving of your time and efforts.

Good luck!

[LilDrunkenSmurf]

Walk away from her. Unless she's a 12/10 and a superstar in bed, there's zero reason to put up with this bullshit.

[lasimmon]

Walk away from her. Unless she's a 12/10 and a superstar in bed, there's zero reason to put up with this bullshit.

Yah even those 2 things are not a reason to put up with this BS. Maybe if you were 20.

[hampstor]

Aside from the fact she has no respect for you and expects you to be her doormat. She's sounds like one of those girls who are focused on social status (money/control/authority, has she ever used the words "saving face" ?) and sees you as a way to obtain or maintain a high "social status". Here are the red flags that (based on what you have said) support this:

- She can't be with a man that makes less money than her.
- She expects you to pay for her
- She calls you cheap, repeatedly (I presume when you don't want to pay for her)

As I said in the other thread... relationships are about respect. If you don't respect each other, than why are you in a relationship? For you is it sex, and for her is it getting nice things? Because if that's the case then you're her sugar daddy, plus you're getting abused (verbally). Honestly, I couldn't imagine someone like that emotionally supporting me if I hit some hard times (eg. If I got laid off).

If you split her, be 1000000000% prepared she'll latch on to the next guy who drives a nice car/has a big house/makes 6 figures, and then flaunts how much 'better' he is than you. In her mind, material things = higher social status = better person. Also i'd recommend that you block her number (so she doesn't text you a pic of her mid fucking said sugar daddy), block her on facebook/any social media you have, and consider actually disabling your social media accounts all together for at least a few months.

How much self respect do you still have, and how are you going to regain it? If you don't respect yourself how can you expect anyone else to respect you?

[JordanEG6]

Read the first paragraph. That's pretty much it for me. Dump her.

80611

EDIT: Read the whole thing for fun. There are definitely some red flags there that many posters in this thread have pointed out already. Honestly, you are better off. She has zero respect for you and seems spoiled and immature. You will not be happy going down this road load term.

[klumsy_tumbler]

Female input: that bitch needs to go.

You said it aptly in one of your earlier posts, OP... that mentality is straight 1950's.

Find someone that views a relationship with you as a PARTNERSHIP, not whatever parasitic preconceived notion she's operating under.

[artieg30]

All of you were quite close, but she's actually from China and moved here in her teens (around Jr. High) when she was 14. In terms of culture she would definitely identify herself as more Western and she doesn't celebrate Asian holidays like new years, but there are times i feel it's a contradiction. She has this huge sense of looking after her little sister and often times when they go out it'll be her paying for her lil sis etc, or how she takes care of her "white parents". That's another fucked up bit I won't go into but long story short, she has such a messed up relationship with her biological parents that she identifies with her neighbors as her "white parents".

I appreciate the feedback from everyone, i knew i had to this and so i pulled the trigger last night. I was just looking for further confirmation/verification that i'm not crazy. We've been together since the start of January this year so i'd say a little over 10 months. I don't know how i can explain it but i did see something in her that made me want to stay and work it out. Or, perhaps there was false hope that i would be able to change her; this was the wake up call that I needed to realize she would never change, unless by circumstances. In terms of why i was in this relationship a lot of it was for the desire to settle down and have something meaningful. I had a great relationship in the past with this one girl of 4yrs and it ended because i was a dumb ass at the time and didn't bother to work on things or improve myself. I guess I was afraid of repeating my then mistakes into now which made me want to stay or try working it out a little longer. That said, shit only works when the both of you are working towards an issue, not just one person.

I have a lot of respect for myself, i've stood my ground on the verbal abuse with her and even the shit she says about making more than me; but when she got pissed about me taking time to look after my family that was the breaking point where i knew this would never work out. I agree with everyone on the mutual respect bit, it's how i've lived my life and how i've treated people in my work and other personal relationships and i've found that it's always been the best policy. Ive treated her with absolute respect from my side though she never gave me the same courtesy. When i called her out on this all she had to say was the fact that I never respected her when i wanted to have sex which simply isn't true, keep in mind she would be walking around my place topless or grabbing my junk etc so what's a guy to do? I never once forced myself on her or made her do anything she wasn't ok with, all she had to respond back with was that i got pissy with her when we didnt do it, she doesn't seem to understand the concept of blue balls..

And the stuff about cheap, it's not because i don't want to pay for her, because in fact i have. I paid a majority of our trip to Van and Seattle last month which was around $4000 and a few months before that i bought her a nice MK watch for our 6 month.I'll suggest doing practical things to save here and there. Contrary to popular beyond belief, not everyone can afford to ball out lol. Since being on my own for the last decade almost i've learned to budget, save, and just plan, which again is something she doesn't understand. One example is she would laugh at me for buying stuff in bulk at Costco, or the fact that i shop around for a big item purchase. Another example is she wanted a Xmas tree at my place (i live in a tiny 600 sq ft condo) and i already told her i wasn't really up for having one since space was already limited at my place as is and i really didn't feel like spending money on a tree we'd only use for a month. I had a solution though, my parents had a tree they rarely used and it's a decent 6ft one so i told her we could use that as my parents didn't mind at all. She gave me this wtf look and later told her "white parents" where they had the same reaction. I didn't really think it was a big deal and i still don't but it's shit like that that just boils your blood.

[Mitsu3000gt]

Congrats OP, I bet you feel relief right now - that's how you know you made the right decision.

[OTown]

All good points. Out of curiosity - did she take it well?

[IggyB]

Well done and had to be done!

[JRSC00LUDE]

Oh man, the more you talk about her the more apparent it is she isn't a quality human. Matrix style bullet dodging, be happy.

[rx7boi]

No worries. Chicks from China are fucked up.

Their mentality over there is all about money and resources because they can afford to be moneygrubbers. Women know that they are in demand over there so males are pussywhipped and will let women step all over them.

Even for CBC's, many of them have immigrant parents who bring that same mentality so it is inevitable that these values get passed onto their kids as well. Then you have the classic golddiggers regardless of culture.

Go find yourself a nice white girl who can appreciate a guy who's making close to 100k :rofl:

Good for you for not ending things right away and trying to work it out; IMO relationships aren't disposable just because things aren't going great but you need the insight on which battles are worth fighting.

It may or may not be applicable to your situation but it can be a bit of a struggle for guys that don't get alot of girls or have alot of experience with dating.

[artieg30]

She took it alright more or less. There wasn't anything physical, just rather a heated exchange. She kept saying that I always felt i had to be right with every argument debate etc which simply wasn't true. For the people that know me they would say i'm fairly open minded and self-aware, so this is definitely coming out of left field. I personally never noticed this behavior but i could only imagine she felt this way because maybe deep down she knows a lot of the shit she was doing or saying was wrong and that i was the only one to call her out on it. Anywho, it's all done now, back to the drawing board!

[asp integra]

Congrats! No need for that kind of girl in your life!

On a side note, I notice a huge difference in the mentality of mid 20 something people and early 30 somethings even though the age difference isn't that much. I am 31 (turning 32 pretty soon) and my sister and her friends (mid to later 20s) are all very different.

I find a good number of the people in their mid 20s to be VERY entitled and feel they are deserving of a lot without actually working for it. Might be good to meet someone in their early 30s for a more stress free relationship!

[JRSC00LUDE]

I find a good number of the people in their mid 20s to be VERY entitled and feel they are deserving of a lot without actually working for it.

Off topic but isn't that the truth. Young people sure seem to be lazy right now, we see it often within our trades but one of my friend's who owns his own company posted this on facebook today and fuck did it make me laugh!

"If anyone knows any young people looking for a labour job that requires hard work, endless satisfaction, and regular wage increases that will turn into an apprenticeship, tell them to call me. The latest Millenial doesn't want to work. Looking for a Millenial to prove me wrong about their useless generation."

[artieg30]

Off topic but isn't that the truth. Young people sure seem to be lazy right now, we see it often within our trades but one of my friend's who owns his own company posted this on facebook today and fuck did it make me laugh!

"If anyone knows any young people looking for a labour job that requires hard work, endless satisfaction, and regular wage increases that will turn into an apprenticeship, tell them to call me. The latest Millenial doesn't want to work. Looking for a Millenial to prove me wrong about their useless generation."

I find it's a mixed bag but more or less the general impression is that most millennials are lazier than the Gen X and Gen Y'ers. No different than how my ex (now) thought she would be making $100k in a year or two when she started out at $63k in a Jr. position. Not that this couldn't happen but it seems like they think because they have a Uni degree they get to command that type of salary in whatever their field/profession is.

[eblend]

If you got Yellow Fever, find yourself a nice Japanese girl. I find that because they are a well developed country for a long time, they really don't demand too much from you. Not to offend anyone, but I find that if you marry a Filipino, you will be sending money to her relatives overseas forever (friend in this situation), if you marry Chinese you will have the inlaws living with you at some point when they get older (another friend is building inlaws suite right now in a new house..), if you marry Korean, well they just appear to whine a lot (personal experience haha). So with that being said, most Japanese who end up in Canada are here because they want to be here, and not because of some prosecution or poor life back home, so usually they will be fairly well off and respectful, which is just part of their culture. As someone who has travelled all the countries I just mentioned from, you can see the difference like night and day just from people's manners alone.

[JordanEG6]

Congrats, dude. You are better off.



Not to offend anyone, but I find that if you marry a Filipino, you will be sending money to her relatives overseas forever (friend in this situation)

This. The reason why many Filipinos in this country work so hard and have multiple jobs is because they need to support someone/some people back home who don't work.

LOTS of Filipinos back home are lazy as fuck because they know cash is coming from someone overseas. Unless its an emergency or I know FOR sure it's going to be put into good use (IE: My family and I collectively put my cousin through college in the recent years), I never send money back home and I don't respond to those who ask.

They think it comes super easy living in a first world country.

[Jlude]

I only read the 1st paragraph, turf the bitch.

Same. As soon as you felt the need to create this thread, you had your answer. Just kick her to the fucking curb and take control of your life and your own happiness.

[civicHB]

She took it alright more or less. There wasn't anything physical, just rather a heated exchange. She kept saying that I always felt i had to be right with every argument debate etc which simply wasn't true. For the people that know me they would say i'm fairly open minded and self-aware, so this is definitely coming out of left field. I personally never noticed this behavior but i could only imagine she felt this way because maybe deep down she knows a lot of the shit she was doing or saying was wrong and that i was the only one to call her out on it. Anywho, it's all done now, back to the drawing board!

Good On Ya! good to see people making the right decisions.

[D'z Nutz]

If you got Yellow Fever, find yourself a nice Japanese girl. I find that because they are a well developed country for a long time, they really don't demand too much from you. Not to offend anyone, but I find that if you marry a Filipino, you will be sending money to her relatives overseas forever (friend in this situation), if you marry Chinese you will have the inlaws living with you at some point when they get older (another friend is building inlaws suite right now in a new house..), if you marry Korean, well they just appear to whine a lot (personal experience haha). So with that being said, most Japanese who end up in Canada are here because they want to be here, and not because of some prosecution or poor life back home, so usually they will be fairly well off and respectful, which is just part of their culture. As someone who has travelled all the countries I just mentioned from, you can see the difference like night and day just from people's manners alone.

hahaha there's so much awesome in this post


This. The reason why many Filipinos in this country work so hard and have multiple jobs is because they need to support someone/some people back home who don't work.

LOTS of Filipinos back home are lazy as fuck because they know cash is coming from someone overseas. Unless its an emergency or I know FOR sure it's going to be put into good use (IE: My family and I collectively put my cousin through college in the recent years), I never send money back home and I don't respond to those who ask.

A friend of mine has a Filipino nanny and she was complaining to her nanny one day about her job and the nanny (who hadn't been back to the Philippines or seen her children in 14 years) replied by saying she found out her husband was fooling around back home and if she went back to divorce him, she'd be murdered because she'd be no more use to him if the gravy train stopped, so she was stressing about how to get her kids to Canada and get rid of the husband. Totally shitty situation for the nanny, but I had to laugh so hard at my friend. That shut her up pretty quickly :rofl:

[vengie]

A friend of mine has a Filipino nanny and she was complaining to her nanny one day about her job and the nanny (who hadn't been back to the Philippines or seen her children in 14 years) replied by saying she found out her husband was fooling around back home and if she went back to divorce him, she'd be murdered because she'd be no more use to him if the gravy train stopped, so she was stressing about how to get her kids to Canada and get rid of the husband. Totally shitty situation for the nanny, but I had to laugh so hard at my friend. That shut her up pretty quickly :rofl:


No kidding! Lol.

Friend: "My life is hard"
Nanny: "Hold my beer"

[LUDELVR]

Congrats! No need for that kind of girl in your life!

On a side note, I notice a huge difference in the mentality of mid 20 something people and early 30 somethings even though the age difference isn't that much. I am 31 (turning 32 pretty soon) and my sister and her friends (mid to later 20s) are all very different.

I find a good number of the people in their mid 20s to be VERY entitled and feel they are deserving of a lot without actually working for it. Might be good to meet someone in their early 30s for a more stress free relationship!


This is EXACTLY the situation with this age group! When I was in my early 30s, I was dating a girl in her later 20s and I still found this to be the absolute truth. It's funny because you would think that older you get the wiser or more logical you get but this is not always the case. There is definitely a shift in mentality and people get maturer; however, that's not to say that it is mature yet! My mentality from 18 to 21 shifted and I thought I was mature. From 21- 25 I thought I matured a great deal. From 25 to 28 I thought I was totally mature. From 29 to 32 I thought I finally had matured. The only thing I realize is that at none of those shifts would I now consider myself even close to being a mature guy and to this point in my life, I'm still an immature guy but am I more mature than I used to be? Absolutely. My shifts in responsibilities have altered a great deal and this is also what changes.

In my early 30s, I dated a range of age groups and it was absolutely SHOCKING to see the differences in priorities and maturity with those girls but what was funny is that each one in each age group thought she was very mature and each one of them felt completely entitled.

[tonytiger55]

She took it alright more or less. There wasn't anything physical, just rather a heated exchange. She kept saying that I always felt i had to be right with every argument debate etc which simply wasn't true. For the people that know me they would say i'm fairly open minded and self-aware, so this is definitely coming out of left field. I personally never noticed this behavior but i could only imagine she felt this way because maybe deep down she knows a lot of the shit she was doing or saying was wrong and that i was the only one to call her out on it. Anywho, it's all done now, back to the drawing board!

Daaang I thought she was East Indian.. Good to hear you walked away. It took me years to figure that shit out. Watch out for the crazyness after.

Off topic, its interesting to hear about the fillipinios. I worked with loads here. Most of the women that came over here played the good girl card but all had affairs on the side (kids too). I mean all of them, same for the guys.
With Asian girls I find they fall into two groups, they are either the geeky weird ones or the high maintenance sexy bitchy $1000 high heel type.
Im still finding a lot of the women in their 30's are dating like their 20's. The sense of entitlement is insane. Funny though, I had dated two girls in their mid 20's. It was actually them who came on and chatted me up...I dated them for a bit. They were waaay more mature and balanced than any of the girls I dated in their late 20's and 30's. I was like WTF..? :eek:

Where do you go to date Japanese girls in Calgary?... asking for a friend...

[Darkane]

When done dating settle down with a down to earth farm girl that isn’t afraid of the city.

Profit.

[max_boost]

Live and Learn.

[jaylo]

Every time I hear my friends say they started dating an asian chick that's not nerdy I say RIP to their wallet, dignity, and mental health.

Always about saving face, money, and status.

[Tik-Tok]

Now the hard part begins. Not responding to her when she comes calling.

[BokCh0y]

Don't be that "guy". Don't text your ex.

[Twin_Cam_Turbo]

Now the hard part begins. Not responding to her when she comes calling.

I genuinely really struggled with this.

[ExtraSlow]

If you thought she treated you shitty when she was your girlfriend, just wait till she's your ex. Only reason she's contact you would be to play mind games and continue the abuse.

[suntan]

No way, text her back pics of your dick in another girl's mouth.

[revelations]

When done dating settle down with a down to earth farm girl that isn’t afraid of the city.

Profit.

This is exactly what I did. An absolute keeper.

[J-hop]

When done dating settle down with a down to earth farm girl that isn’t afraid of the city.

Profit.

I think you’d be sadly surprised at how many guys actually like high maintenance girls with their heads in the clouds.

I agree with you though. And my personal advice is find someone as similar to you as you can.

As I’m entering true adulthood I’ve realized the old saying “opposites attract” although maybe has some truth to it is actually horrible advice. The number of guys I’ve seen who settle down and end up compromising many things that used to bring them a lot of joy because their spouse doesn’t share the same interests is ridiculous.

[Sentry]

Chinese girl would rather cry in a mercedes than laugh on a bicycle.

[Skyline_Addict]

Peace the fuck out!

[tcon]

She seems to think she'll eventually be making more than me in the next few years, this has come up a few times where she said she would leave me if she did start to make more or that she couldn't be with a man that made less than her.

WTF...

[Seth1968]

OR to all of this, stay single.

You'll avoid all the BS, and you don't have to change who you are.

[TomcoPDR]

Send her my way. I need a project but first, pics.


All of you were quite close, but she's actually from China

rage2 Would be interesting if there was a gf swap section, make guys realize their gf isn’t/is as crazy as another.

[Buster]

hahaha there's so much awesome in this post



A friend of mine has a Filipino nanny and she was complaining to her nanny one day about her job and the nanny (who hadn't been back to the Philippines or seen her children in 14 years) replied by saying she found out her husband was fooling around back home and if she went back to divorce him, she'd be murdered because she'd be no more use to him if the gravy train stopped, so she was stressing about how to get her kids to Canada and get rid of the husband. Totally shitty situation for the nanny, but I had to laugh so hard at my friend. That shut her up pretty quickly :rofl:

We actively avoided the Filipino nanny this time around.

1. no more Filipino Nanny mafia
2. I'm too lazy and uncaring to hear about the stories. Our cleaning lady is Filipino. She's great. But don't think I could take it 5 days a week,
3. We always found that Filipino nannies are trained to keep the parents happy, rather than focus on the values of the kids. (Clean house, good food trumps kids activities/educations/etc).

[J-hop]

rage2 Would be interesting if there was a gf swap section, make guys realize their gf isn’t/is as crazy as another.

Do you mean story swap or actual swap haha.

[ExtraSlow]

Yeah, Philippines nanny system certainly trains them a very specific way. Ever met philipino teens? Like fuck I want me kids to act like that.

[JordanEG6]

Yeah, Philippines nanny system certainly trains them a very specific way. Ever met philipino teens? Like fuck I want me kids to act like that.

Then you should hit your kids ;):rofl:

[flipstah]

then you should hit your kids ;):rofl:

fear the flip flops!

[Shlade]

OR to all of this, stay single.

You'll avoid all the BS, and you don't have to change who you are.

But first, go get snipped before any oopsies happen with random chicks haha

[TomcoPDR]

Do you mean story swap or actual swap haha.

Either or :D

[jaylo]

Chinese girl would rather cry in a mercedes than laugh on a bicycle.

I once did a gag gift to my ex-Chinese gf a small boombox and I wrapped it her face was priceless when she opened it in front of her family.

Needless to say, she got that LV bag she was hoping to get in return.

[eblend]

Where do you go to date Japanese girls in Calgary?... asking for a friend...

Not too many around unfortunately, as previously stated, they aren't escaping a terrible country by any stretch of imagination, so those who end up here are fed up with 24/7 work schedule with no vacations, because otherwise, Canada is third world to them technologically in almost every single way haha. As I have an option of working in Japan, I have considered moving there a few times, but I like my vacations way too much, and couldn't possibly spend 18 hours a day with co-workers, either working super late or going out for drinks nightly.

[nzwasp]

We actively avoided the Filipino nanny this time around.

1. no more Filipino Nanny mafia
2. I'm too lazy and uncaring to hear about the stories. Our cleaning lady is Filipino. She's great. But don't think I could take it 5 days a week,
3. We always found that Filipino nannies are trained to keep the parents happy, rather than focus on the values of the kids. (Clean house, good food trumps kids activities/educations/etc).

Whats the Filipino nanny mafia?

We have a Filipino nanny currently but shes fucking pregnant (already was 3 months pregnant when we hired her) - just hid it until a month later, so on the lookout for a new one.

[NissanFanBoy]

Grew up in Van, my first gf was a Jap fob girl only in Canada to learn English, she definitely had $, and was not a gold digger and was really down to earth compared to the CBC girls I usually liked at the time...I don't have much experience or know much about their culture but they seem to be less about keeping up with the Jones' like in Chinese culture...oh and she also insisted on splitting bills on dates too and didn't dress to impress all the time. I recall that the Jap FOBs at that time didn't even have interest in cars, nice clothes, go to fancy clubs and fancy hoyty toyty stuff either...

[J-hop]

I once did a gag gift to my ex-Chinese gf a small boombox and I wrapped it her face was priceless when she opened it in front of her family.

Needless to say, she got that LV bag she was hoping to get in return.

She asked for an LV bag? Get out while you still can man :rofl:

[Darkane]

I think you’d be sadly surprised at how many guys actually like high maintenance girls with their heads in the clouds.

I agree with you though. And my personal advice is find someone as similar to you as you can.

As I’m entering true adulthood I’ve realized the old saying “opposites attract” although maybe has some truth to it is actually horrible advice. The number of guys I’ve seen who settle down and end up compromising many things that used to bring them a lot of joy because their spouse doesn’t share the same interests is ridiculous.

Yeah. Finding someone with the same core values is key.

Little shit like cleaning up, toothpaste, toilet seats, stupid menial stuff can be partially trained (Habitually - Both sides). If the marriage lasts, with some happiness it's a success.

No woman is perfect, no couple is perfect. It just doesn't exist, people do fool themselves. Take the good with the bad, hopefully it's like 60/40 ratio lol.

Ultimately I've found it comes down to who was the boss in the house growing up. That's the kind of partner people migrate to.