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View Full Version : Hockey Can Be Saved! HELP NOW!



Z_Fan
11-10-2004, 01:18 PM
Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil,wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL Player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW THAT I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player You sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an Unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a Special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is(check below):

[ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender
[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)
[ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)


Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, Along with a Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA
player's Union) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________

Telephone Number: _______________________

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

QuasarCav
11-10-2004, 01:25 PM
I feel so bad for those guys.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Marsh
11-10-2004, 01:47 PM
Haha thats just awesome:rofl: :rofl:

GoChris
11-10-2004, 01:51 PM
:thumbsup:

and they say they dont need a salary cap...welcome to every other major sport

boi-alien
11-10-2004, 02:05 PM
hahah

Z_Fan
11-10-2004, 02:11 PM
I was hoping this wasn't a repost.

LOL it is funny as hell.

Kobe
11-10-2004, 02:24 PM
Originally posted by Z_Fan
Your Name: Bill Gates

Telephone Number: 1-403-233-4242

Account Number: 432-42432424 Exp.Date:July2004

[ X ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: Millionsadaybiatchh

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

Sign me up :)

Ajay
11-10-2004, 02:24 PM
That's wicked!

I'm sad that there isn't any hockey and probably won't be any this season which really blows for Calgary but I kinda side with the owners on this one.

Chandler_Racing
11-10-2004, 02:28 PM
haha :drama:

Z_Fan
11-10-2004, 03:18 PM
Maybe, just maybe, if we ALL pool our money together, we can come up with $700. This will cover the FIRST day for ONE player.

Please, we need to help them get by at this crucial time of need.

Bwahahahahah.

Lot's of these guys want to get paid $75000US per game. Gimme a break...


You know who we SHOULD subsidize. The REFS. They are the 'people' who are really getting screwed here. Not the players. The players will wait it out, the REFS have to get REAL JOBS like normal people cuz they were never overpaid in the first place - like the players...

Oh well...

max_boost
11-10-2004, 04:23 PM
Originally posted by Z_Fan
Maybe, just maybe, if we ALL pool our money together, we can come up with $700. This will cover the FIRST day for ONE player.

Please, we need to help them get by at this crucial time of need.

Bwahahahahah.

Lot's of these guys want to get paid $75000US per game. Gimme a break...


You know who we SHOULD subsidize. The REFS. They are the 'people' who are really getting screwed here. Not the players. The players will wait it out, the REFS have to get REAL JOBS like normal people cuz they were never overpaid in the first place - like the players...

Oh well... :werd: Absolutely no sympathy here for the players!!! Bunch of fags crying about money!!! SEriously, even $300K for a role player i.e. guy who sits on the bench, plays in practice, on the farm, or just a goon is more than what most of us will ever make. I don't buy the BS that it is not enough money to cover players cost i.e. insurance, special training, etc.etc.

:whocares:

With the NBA and NFL is full swing, who cares about hockey.:guns:

toyboy88
11-10-2004, 05:23 PM
thats good :D :thumbsup: :rofl:

toyboy88
11-10-2004, 05:23 PM
thats good :D :thumbsup: :rofl:

Skylinelover
11-10-2004, 05:32 PM
Old but still funny

DUBBED
11-10-2004, 06:40 PM
Paramedic -> saves your life $45,000/year

Hockey Player -> play the game they love $7.5 million/year



What a fucked up world.

hyperwhite
11-12-2004, 10:51 PM
here's proof that the system is screwed up. montreal was paying chad kilger 1 million a year. then when they had to resign him the 110% qualifying offer rule means that a shit player was getting a 100 grand raise! no wonder they traded his ass