:: Random Joke Thread ::

[Zephyr]

Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up, nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and eleven other bells began to ring......

[Zephyr]

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable. "Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?" After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. "Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day. Does anyone know another word?" Johnny from the back of the room yells, "I do! I do!" Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. "OK Mike, what is your word." Saturday says Mike. "Great, that has three syllables..." Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion." Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."

"No Ma'am, your thinking of 'blowjob', and that's only two syllables."

[cycosis]

Original Post Removed. (Please read the Forum Rules and Terms of Use (http://forums.beyond.ca/articles.php?action=data&item=1) before posting again, or risk getting banned).

[cycosis]

Original Post Removed. (Please read the Forum Rules and Terms of Use (http://forums.beyond.ca/articles.php?action=data&item=1) before posting again, or risk getting banned).

[D'z Nutz]

Let's keep the racist jokes to ourselves :rolleyes:

[cycosis]

Original Post Removed. (Please read the Forum Rules and Terms of Use (http://forums.beyond.ca/articles.php?action=data&item=1) before posting again, or risk getting banned).

[cycosis]

They wernt that racist.......:D

[BebeAphrodite]

I guess you don't know the meaning of racist.

[finboy]

*insert "baby seal walks into a club" joke here* ;)

[Gspotracer]

Originally posted by finboy
*insert "baby seal walks into a club" joke here* ;)

:rofl:

[statick]

:rofl: first one is awsome

[Lorne@UrbanX]

Your momma so FAT she went to weigh herself and the scale said


"TO BE CONTINUED!"

[Carfanman]

^that was horrible for a bunch of reasons.
Its a corny 1liner
mamajokes are so used
that specific one has been heard a million times.

Dont have any jokes to contribuit right this second but I might l8r

[Lorne@UrbanX]

Originally posted by Carfanman
^
mamajokes are so used



I heard it on Oprah when all the Wayon's siblings were on there and when Damon Wayon's said it it was HILARIOUS. Guess you had to watch it.

[mazda_maniac]

What gave Michael Jackson food poisoning?
A six year old weiner.

How do you know if there's a party at Mj's house?
The number of tricycles outside his house.

What similiar between MJ and Walmart?
All little boy underwear half-off.

Now for one last longer one:

There's a child with his Grandpa on the porch. The Grandpa pulls out a beer, so naturally the kid asks, "Grandpa can I have one?" Grandpa replies "Can you're dick touch you're ass?" The kid says "No...." so grandpa says "No you're not mature enough yet then." So they continue sitting on the porch and the kids a little bummed. Grandpa tehn pulls out a cigar and starts smoking it. With killing curiousity the child asks again "Grandpa can I have some?" Grandpa replies with the same question..."Can you're dick touch you're ass?" the child with a sudden sink in emotion replies "no...." and Grandpa says "No you're not mature enough then." So all bumemd the child goes into the house and comes out with some cookies. As he eats a few Grandpa asks if he can have one and the kid replies "Can you're dick touch you're ass?" Grandpa smiles and says "Of course!" The kid smiles and kind of teases Grandpa by pulling out a cookie then says "Fuck yourself then grandma made these cookies for me!" and pulls the cookie away.

Sorry I wrote that out shitty hopefully you all willl get the just of it.