Stories: Dumb things your family has done

So I've got a great dumb thing our family did some 15 or so years ago and this should serve as a fair warning to any of you beyond members with younger families. Be forewarned, it's a speedog story.

Soooooo, around 2004 I was still under the employ of HELUS and was working out of a location in the NE close to where the NE Princess Auto used to be. During the warmer months I'd cycle to/from work and during more inclement weather I'd take transit and walk the last little bit. Anyhow, one morning I happened to notice a family of Great Horned owls, two parents and two youngsters with a nest in a tree about two blocks from where I worked.

Of course I told the family of this owl family and sure enough they all wanted to see them. So one Saturday morning we drove over and checked them out and as usual, my brainiac son spotted owl pellets on the ground beneath their tree and figured those would make a good show and tell type of item for school.

So we collected some owl pellets and took them home. As the wise parents we thought we were, we decided the owl pellets should be sterilized before they found their way to school - a logical decision. Now maybe the only moment of brilliance here was our decision to not sterilize them in the house, that was most certainly the one thing we did right.

Anyhow, into the barbeque they went on a cookie sheet at a very low temperature setting - the thought being that we cook anything to death that was in those owl pellets and also take any moisture out of them at the same time even though they appeared to be very, very dry. Fast forward an hour or so and a very wretched smell was starting emminate from our covered patio where we kept our barbeque - think wet dog mixed with vomit and roasting that mixture.

It was just absolutely horrible, must've taken a few days for that smell to disappear. The cookie sheet got thrown out and the barbeque got a complete scrubbing plus an extended highest heat setting burn. The owl pellets, well they came out as dry as popcorn farts and did make their way to school and like I said, thank the heavens we did not sterilize them in our oven in the house.

To this day, this is an experience our family can all look back at and get quite a few laughs from and even at the time, we got quite a few laughs out of the situation despite the most horrid smells we created. speedog story #1

I watched an uncle take a shot of tequila with a raw oyster and throw it up. Another uncle got pissed off and told him he cant be wastin good tequila n oysters and picked up the freshly yacked oyster and ate it. To be honest i dont remember much other than that, as i drank a bottle of famous grouse and woke up the next morning feeling like a human ash tray.

Had me.

So you roasted animal feces on the grill and it smelled bad... wheres the story here?

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Originally Posted by cjblair

So you roasted animal feces on the grill and it smelled bad... wheres the story here?

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Owl pellets are not feces.

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Originally Posted by cjblair

So you roasted animal feces on the grill and it smelled bad... wheres the story here?

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Its ok man. Honestly i only know because i regurtitate mostly cockrings. Very rare circumstances if its animal parts. Usually the case of a broken retrieval string.

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A pellet, in ornithology, is the mass of undigested parts of a bird's food that some bird species occasionally regurgitate. The contents of a bird's pellet depend on its diet, but can include the exoskeletons of insects, indigestible plant matter, bones, fur, feathers, bills, claws, and teeth.

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LMAO.. You tried to BBQ this.. :rofl:

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Originally Posted by tonytiger55

LMAO.. You tried to BBQ this.. :rofl:

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The intent was not to barbeque, just sterilize them on the lowest heat setting. It's a funny story that'll be told again and again in our family.

In the late 70's, Relative sold his E-type and bought a new Lada from the dealership.

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Originally Posted by e31

In the late 70's, Relative sold his E-type and bought a new Lada from the dealership.

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He hada Lada high hopes but shouldn't have been Russian into that deal in hindsight.

This thread is interesting. It made me think really hard of a story but I could only think of this because I remember it well to this day. Not really "dumb" but whatever.

When I was a kid (around 8?), my dad and I was at the Radio Shack in Marlborough buying some connectors or whatnot he needed for our TV. The store was quite small but the lazy staff there decided to put boxes of random storage containers in front of stuff for sale and it was totally in the way for customers trying to shop. My dad accidentally broke the lid on one of these containers because he was trying to reach for something off the shelf and one of the associates noticed. He was super aggressive and immediately threatened my dad he had to pay for damages (somehow determined it was $40 worth of damage) of their container or else he will call security to escort us out. My dad held his ground and told them of the situation that why would they put all this shit in the way of customers and that he felt extremely stupid shopping there. Eventually my dad, the nice guy that he is, paid the $40 and whatever else he needed because he did not want any trouble and wanted to move on with life. In hindsight he totally didn't have to because 1) I don't think it's the customer's fault when staff is putting obstructions in the way of people trying to shop so what would security really do, and 2) $40 was extreme for what the cost of what looked like some Rubbermaid container. I remember being so mad about this even at that young age. My parents aren't exactly ballers either.

Fast forward a couple weeks later, I was in the mall again and went on my own into the Radio Shack and spent around 20 minutes in there sneakily ripping open a ton of stuff open so it made it difficult or impossible to sell. I must have opened at least 50 before I was worried of getting caught. Fuck them and the guy who treated my dad like a criminal. I have other stories of my dad like this but I think this was one of the first ones where I realized how calm and respectful my dad is.

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Originally Posted by speedog

Owl pellets are not feces.

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Same same.

A certain family member of mine thru a bunch of rotten smelts (fishing bait) onto a popular nightclub dance floor a number of years ago. Evacuated the entire building. Somehow, as the bouncers were moving thru the crowd asking who was responsible, these two chicks pointed at his friend. These bouncers grabbed his friend and thru him in a broom closet and put the boots to him. He wasn't even the guy responsible....

I happened to be in the club that night as well but I was with my gf towards the front of the building beside the DJ. I could see people running away from the center of the dance floor but I didn't know why until after. I left and parked in a parking lot a few blocks to the south and I saw the owner of the club FLYING down the street. He had to be going well over 100kph. Must have gotten a call about what was happening.

Also heard about it on the local radio news the next day.

On a side note, this is the same club where a chick climbed up onto the roof and discharged a few cans of bear spray into the ventilation system during a concert. Again, evac'd the whole building.

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Originally Posted by 16hypen3sp

A certain family member of mine thru a bunch of rotten smelts (fishing bait) onto a popular nightclub dance floor a number of years ago. Evacuated the entire building. Somehow, as the bouncers were moving thru the crowd asking who was responsible, these two chicks pointed at his friend. These bouncers grabbed his friend and thru him in a broom closet and put the boots to him. He wasn't even the guy responsible....

I happened to be in the club that night as well but I was with my gf towards the front of the building beside the DJ. I could see people running away from the center of the dance floor but I didn't know why until after. I left and parked in a parking lot a few blocks to the south and I saw the owner of the club FLYING down the street. He had to be going well over 100kph. Must have gotten a call about what was happening.

Also heard about it on the local radio news the next day.

On a side note, this is the same club where a chick climbed up onto the roof and discharged a few cans of bear spray into the ventilation system during a concert. Again, evac'd the whole building.

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Because Red Deer...amirite lol

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Originally Posted by 03ozwhip

Because Red Deer...amirite lol

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Absolutely.

Was that bear spray thing at cowboys Edmonton? I got evacuated from that place due to a bear spray incident. Would have been 2000 or 2001 maybe?

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Originally Posted by ExtraSlow

Was that bear spray thing at cowboys Edmonton? I got evacuated from that place due to a bear spray incident. Would have been 2000 or 2001 maybe?

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This incident was maybe a couple years later than that, mid-00's I think. It was in Red Deer. I used to work with a guy who went to school with the chick responsible. She's a hair stylist now. Imagine that. Red Deer hairdressers are usually crazy. Hot, but crazy.

Need pics :rofl:

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Originally Posted by rx7boi

Need pics :rofl:

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Can't remember her exact name, but I believe it was one of these chicks. IIRC, he told me this quite a number of years ago.
https://cherrybombhairloungedotcom.w...meet-our-team/

I watched my son cut his apple iphone cords to make airpods because he saw it online. We had a big discussion after that.

Way long ago dad took us to DQ cause we got some coupons in the mail. We were small and dad no speak english so we somehow managed to order all the coupons which was like the entire menu lol and there was a lot of food.

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Originally Posted by SJW

I watched my son cut his apple iphone cords to make airpods because he saw it online. We had a big discussion after that.

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Make sure he doesn't see the video of charging your iphone in the microwave.......

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Originally Posted by SJW

I watched my son cut his apple iphone cords to make airpods because he saw it online. We had a big discussion after that.

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Did he also microwave his iPhone to supercharge it?

edit: late.

One nice summer day circa-1997, my sister and I were trying to spoil our dinners with chips, like any normal kid would. "Not until after dinner" said mom, which was met with a groans of "but mooooooooouhhhhhhhm!". persistent pestering ("just one? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease") lead to attempts to sneak chips out of the pantry but we were quickly busted.

Finally, my dad had enough of us bugging mom, and decided he'd "teach us a lesson."

Since we wouldn't respect the decision and wouldn't let up, he decided that nobody was going to have any chips. He took the whole bag, tore it open, dumped it into the toilet and hit flush. Unsurprisingly, potato chips, at least in "pre-eaten" form, aren't very flushable, an the toilet promptly got plugged and started to overflow. Cue dad on his knees, sleeves rolled up digging wet soggy chips out of the toilet and trying to plunge away the clog. Lesson not learned, A+ entertainment, not even sad that we didn't get any chips that night.

Totally emphasize with your dad. One vacation my kids were bugging me while I was driving. They weren't sharing the bag of skittles I gave them nicely. Reached back, ripped t of thier hands, tossed it out the window on the San Diego Expressway.

I can't believe I littered.