Originally Posted by
Misterman
We have separate accounts, but it has nothing to do with hiding money. I have the statistically accurate marriage. Husband makes 80% of the income. My wife would never do anything malicious, but she just can't have access to an account with that much money going into it for reasons of simple human psychology. I know most people here like to pretend they have some perfect life, and that normal human factors somehow don't apply to them. But fact of the matter is, in general terms, people who make say 40k/yr, will struggle greatly with managing something like 200k/yr. We've all been there, when we used to make minimum wage and thinking if we could just make 20$/hr we would feel loaded. Next thing you know you're making 30$/hr and still no farther ahead, just driving a nicer car and living in a nicer house. My wife isn't exempt from these human normalities, so if she has what appears to be unlimited funds compared to her paychecks, suddenly wants start seeming like needs. Then you get a bunch of over spending on unnecessary stuff. Much easier for me to just manage the bills and deal with everything out of my own account. She has her own account that her paycheck goes to, and she can use that for her nails, hair, putting gas in her vehicle, etc.
Speaking of hiding money though, it's not a terrible idea. Nobody goes into a marriage expecting they will get divorced in a few years, yet 50% of marriages end in divorce. So it's a good idea to be prepared. I worked with a guy that used to talk about this a lot as he had been through a terrible divorce. A lawyer informed him that in the future, you should do what they call skimming. You withdraw a few hundred dollars every paycheck, and squirrel it away somewhere, or buy gold with it. When all your financial records are being examined in the event of a divorce, that money will appear to be regular discretionary spending within reasonable limits. I don't do any of this myself, maybe I'll live to regret it one day, hope not.
This shows a lack of understanding about what a team actually is. Which is utilizing eachothers strengths to make up where the other is weak and form a good balance. If one of you is absolutely shit with money, then you would be retarded to give that person enough rope to hang themselves and ruin the entire relationship by giving them unfettered access to both incomes. If you're both amazing with money then power to you, joint everything!! In the real world that isn't very common.
My thoughts are opposite to yours. Considering that fucking with money is the one thing more unforgiveable than infidelity. It blows me away that some people think like you and just dive in head first to the shallow end and combine everything. To each their own though, every couple is different and should find what works for them. There is no ignorant judgement from me.
