Official Kijiji Funnies Thread

@MalibuStacy
Did you only live in the first quarter of 1990? You missed the next 117 months?
Boom boxes were exceedingly not 90's things.
Please put up ad again so I can give it 1-star.

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Originally Posted by ThePenIsMightier

@MalibuStacy
Did you only live in the first quarter of 1990? You missed the next 117 months?
Boom boxes were exceedingly not 90's things.
Please put up ad again so I can give it 1-star.

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I dunno all my friends had those grey boom box stereos growing up. I'm talking about one of the curvy style ones

Here's the details on their new shitty ratings system:
https://help.kijiji.ca/helpdesk/basi...eviews#android

All you need is seven messages between the two parties and you can leave a review. This will do nothing to deter low-ballers because who wants to invest enough messages with them to leave a rating.

"why are you selling? Buyer's remorse?"
"No. Need a larger vehicle."
...
... 30 mins later
"Are you interested?"
"No I ended up buying an Escalade"

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Originally Posted by ThePenIsMightier

Here's the details on their new shitty ratings system:
https://help.kijiji.ca/helpdesk/basi...eviews#android

All you need is seven messages between the two parties and you can leave a review. This will do nothing to deter low-ballers because who wants to invest enough messages with them to leave a rating.

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Kijiji could not possibly care less how your experience is, all they care about is sheer number of ads and how many people pay for visibility. It's in their interest financially to discourage people getting rated poorly and stop using Kijiji. 90% of the replies I get are a price approximately 1/3 of asking followed by a question mark, and you're right, who wants to engage those idiots. A lot of them are bots anyway that send emails to everyone on Kijiji at certain price points, and then if you reply, the person will take a look and see if it's something they can get for cheap.

Looking for some shelving or tables for my greenhouse, came across this and gave me a laugh

https://www.kijiji.ca/v-bookcase-she...elf/1513935190

Seen on kijiji, not sure if meant to be funny or not - last picture in a series of 10. I suppose it's safer there then at the beginning of the series. Still...

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:rofl: Link pls!

100% chance that's in the NE.

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Originally Posted by dirtsniffer

100% chance that's in the NE.

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Nailed it!

https://www.kijiji.ca/v-cars-trucks/...1585?undefined

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Fun fact. Type a postal code into Google maps. Gives you quite a good idea of where someone is lol

https://www.kijiji.ca/v-view-details...dId=1464844989

Check out the health tips on this ad, good stuff!

This person posts ads for this old Dodge truck once in a while, and I'm very fond of the pictures.

https://www.kijiji.ca/v-voiture-coll...teLocale=en_CA

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Originally Posted by derran.m

Not sure if this one is actually legit, got it emailed to me from a friend

OK, let me start off by saying this jeep is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this jeep would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop. This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need._ It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The jeep_ also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man. My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $9950, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 142000 on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash. To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants. Rock on.

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Is it a Wrangler? lol

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Originally Posted by speedog

Seen on kijiji, not sure if meant to be funny or not - last picture in a series of 10. I suppose it's safer there then at the beginning of the series. Still...

Attachment 93117

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I'd pay good money to see all that person's responses lol...I bet you 90% of them are actually interested in the lady.

Looks like this guys did a good job on this truck, but $28k seems funny to me... it was 29.5 earlier this week haha.

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Super legit, one owner SUPER RARE Turbo - None Turbo Porsche 944.

Funny says it's original 103,000kms (Gauge cluster is from a Turbo model 944) but the bumpers and engine bay would say otherwise. Carfax would be interesting on this one.

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I have always wanted a 928 and some old time rock and roll. 944 will have to do.

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Originally Posted by JfuckinC

Looks like this guys did a good job on this truck, but $28k seems funny to me... it was 29.5 earlier this week haha.

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I'd be asking for receipts on that engine/trans rebuild. I know for a fact he bought a running '08 parts truck for its drivetrain and had zero intentions of rebuilding it before it went into that truck.

(The rest of the story is that he had asked my father and I to do the LS swap for him, we spent a bunch of time doing up a budget and parts list for him and ironing out some issues for him, and then he flat ghosted us. We'd initially tried to convince him that he was better off just beefing up his 350 and putting in a nicer manual trans since he just wanted a fun cruiser, but he was dead-set on an LS even though we tried to impress upon him he'd never get his money back out of it if he had to sell it.)

Spidey senses is to stay far away from that. Looks like a recipe for disaster with the chance of many corners being cut.