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It is very difficult. If one of us can stay home for the whole day, then we burn a vacation day. If we have critical stuff we have to be at work for, then we'll split the day. My wife is her own boss and I have a very understanding manager at my work, so we can make it work... but it is very hard.Quote:
Originally Posted by sabad66
Kids are hard. The fun thing is raising them keeps being hard but the things that make it hard change.
im lucky my wife is still on mat leave. but i agree, one of my employees is dealing with it right now i feel bad, i need him here but his wife just went back after mat leave so its tough for her to miss work too. Both their kids were sick as well.
Kids are legit hard, but fuck the cute shit they do just melts my heart haha, big softy now.
I partially chalk it up to being the age where everyone is having kids so its more apparent to us all the sick kids haha
I think people underestimate how awesome and financially accessible it is to have only one working parent. The costs of daycare/nanny/extra time off etc is no joke.
There are reasons other than money to have two working parents as well, I realize. That was the case in our house for sure.
Chalk this fellow up for having a stay at home wife with our kids and absolutely zero regertz...Quote:
Originally Posted by ExtraSlow
I'd love my wife to be a Stay at home mom... But she loves her job and would lose seniority and her line and whatever else happens with union bull shit lol
Have my first on the way in about 6 months. Not gonna lie, pretty nervous/excited/extremely concerned.
Was nice reading through this thread. Lots of info and good experiences to read.
Those are the appropriate emotions. Best wishes bro, you know we are all here for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by lasimmon
RipQuote:
Originally Posted by lasimmon
Thanks ES!Quote:
Originally Posted by ExtraSlow
Funny, my dad said the same!Quote:
Originally Posted by Buster
The person you were and would become is gone forever. All that is left is the inevitable drudgery and entertaining the delusion that things might be different for you than the countless generations that came before.Quote:
Originally Posted by lasimmon
Took my 20.5month old to the science center this morning and the pool this afternoon. Man she's a blast. No regertz at all...kids are a lot of fun.
I think this is bullshit, it’s easy to have a life balance between kids and a social life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buster
but how much experience do you have with kidSQuote:
Originally Posted by 89coupe
I have twoQuote:
Originally Posted by Buster
We've been through this. Did you have two small children at the same time?Quote:
Originally Posted by 89coupe
I blame the pop
No, but I have friends who have and managed just fine, social time never changed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buster
But the guy you replied to RIP, was having just one, so not sure why you make this comment.
He said it's his first.Quote:
Originally Posted by 89coupe
Nope, Buster is actually spot on in this case. Kids are amazing, but goodbye to who you could have been. Social life being probably the least important metric in that regard.Quote:
Originally Posted by 89coupe
We will be the 6th baby in our “friend group” in 2023, though second for some. Hoping that will help socialize a bit.. maybe I’m dreaming.
If you make the effort to socialize you will. If you don’t, you will never see these people again.Quote:
Originally Posted by lasimmon
NonsenseQuote:
Originally Posted by Misterman
- - - Updated - - -
Correct, it’s a choice. A lot choose not to, so lame.Quote:
Originally Posted by killramos
Totally agree it's about choices and priorities, to an extent.
Got my ass kicked at hockey today by 1 kid this afternoon, and got my laptime beaten by 1/2 sec go karting at speeders by the other. Then all 3 bullied me into a Ruth’s Chris steak dinner. This shit ain’t worth it.
See!!!
Fatherhood leads to corn-fed beef, nonsense...
If kids aren't altering your priorities you're doing it wrong. Or you have only had one small kid at a time and a house with 1.5 careers rather than two full careers.Quote:
Originally Posted by 89coupe
Be better.Quote:
Originally Posted by rage2
Give them melatonin before any competitive activity. Expert your alpha ways.
1 kid at a time would be so easy lol! My day starts at 5:00am with my son (18.48 mo), then my daughter gets up around 6:30 (45.6 months old). Then it's insanity until nap time when I get maybe an hour to stuff food in my face and clean up a bit of the mess before round 2 starts. Then it's insanity again until 7:00pm when bed time routine starts. Clean up and lunches isn't done until 8:30 and even then it's half assed. That brief period between 8:30 and 9:45 is the free time, which hopefully doesn't involve any projects that come up. Hopefully I can be asleep by 10:30 and it's a rare night when I'm not woken up by one of the kids before it all starts again then next morning at 5:00.
With 1 little kid, it's not a hardship doing 1-1 so the other parent can get something done, but dumping the other parent into a 2-1 situation is rough. The best thing for us is to get out of the house and do something. That cuts the grind down quite a bit. The other option is to just check out and plop your kids in front of the TV, but we're not there yet.
Certain people will always find an excuse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buster
My kid can beat up your kid.
You don’t think I tried?Quote:
Originally Posted by vengie
Attachment 110654
Maybe I’m just getting old.
0.5 seems generousQuote:
Originally Posted by Buster
Get a nanny if you can, or try to source some outside help on a regular basis. My girls are young (2 and 5) and there's obviously daily challenges to get them organized and behaving appropriately etc but I find the endless daily house/life chores layered on top to be absolutely soul sucking. This way, there's just more bandwidth available to have fun with them rather then slowly descending into a relentless state of frustration tending to their every single, never ending, backbreaking need. I realize that to have a nanny is a privileged position, but our quality of life has improved so dramatically, that I would advocate for this type of solution to any family if it was a feasible option.
If anyone in your neighborhood has a nanny, see if you can hire them for 1 day per week of laundry and chores to free up your own time. Lots cheaper than full time, but makes a huge difference.
Immigrant type nanny highly preferred for the chores aspect.
We had white canandian nannies, and well, that's a whole different deal.
I think I might be the only twin dad in this thread?
The wife defo wouldn't be able to have a 0.5 career with the 3 under 3, but if it was just the toddler, it would be a cinch :)
How many kids did you have with that nanny?Quote:
Originally Posted by ExtraSlow
The immigrant type?Quote:
Originally Posted by suntan
No you make the nanny have abortions.
Too familiar....wait until the nap gets cut out. I never had it too bad since the kids always wanted/want mommyQuote:
Originally Posted by JustinL
Took the kids to Trolls Fall and Kidzgo last week. Now my son has a cough and runny nose. The other day my wife and son had sick stomach. Our daughter said her stomach feels funny.
Since November they have been 'sick' a dozen times between the three of them. Need to strengthen the immune system.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kJUMP
Agree completely. And not necessarily a nanny, but anything you can do to take the load off some of the household chores makes an immense difference, both in quality of life for you and your wife, but also in the extra time it frees up to spend with your kids, especially while they're young.Quote:
Originally Posted by ExtraSlow
I can definitely relate with many of the comments on here, with 1 - 18mo.
A small lifestyle upgrade that has been huge with a kiddo is a garborator. All of the partially eaten food on the plates/floow no longer thrown in the compost etc - just right down the drain.
Weird, I hated our garburator, and think my life is better now without one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Neil4Speed
My lifestyle has not decreased one iota since ditching ours. In fact I would say it's improved (very minusculely thought)Quote:
Originally Posted by ExtraSlow
Wait a few months until your kid figures out the parents jump out of their skin when they turn it on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Neil4Speed
Wall-mounted switch well out of reach ftw. Our kid will be 7 before she can turn it on.Quote:
Originally Posted by killramos
What kind of moron installs a garburator switch within reach of any small child? That’s comically poor placement.Quote:
Originally Posted by killramos
It’s an experience.Quote:
Originally Posted by bjstare
We mostly keep it unplugged, but anyone with a garburetor knows they get clogged up like no one’s business eventually and need to be run to clear fairly often.
Wondering if some kind of safety switch can be installed.
Hit a milestone over the holidays in which we went skiing with both kids and had zero meltdowns and did a decent combination of blue and black runs. Its been a long time coming, but at 8 and 10 we are starting to be able to enjoy activities like this again! (Not that teaching them on the magic carpet wasnt enjoyable, but being able to fully enjoy a day at the hill together on the actual hill) Im sure this could have come earlier if there hadnt been so much hockey, but happy none the less!
I can't wait for this kinda stuff...i mean i love watching the babies and the toddler learn and grow but it's gonna be so good to teach them "big people" stuffQuote:
Originally Posted by R-Audi
School-age kids who are actually "into" things are pretty fun.
well, big changes for kids sure make things different. Recently switched to a big girl bed, ditched the soother and started potty training. our toddler is a fucking monster now :rofl:
haha that's a lot to do in a short period of time.Quote:
Originally Posted by JfuckinC
We ditched soother at like ~6mo for both of our kids (well, one kid did it on their own and since it worked out well, we forced the second around the same time). Whenever I see a 3yo with a soother, all I can think about is how much of a fight it's gonna be to take it away.
My kid stuffed the soothers down the heat-vents, the second time they did it, we "couldn't find them" and it was all over. Don't even remember how old they were, it was a real non-event.
Our kids are 4 and 8. I asked them about boxing and soccer but neither are into it. Some forms of gymnastics/climbing would be cool too. For now, only swimming, piano lessons, and pottery.
Look into a Pico switch. Remote contact switch allowing you to place the on-off control elsewhere, out of reach. If you can install a normal switch, you can install one of these too.Quote:
Originally Posted by killramos
When they are small, try doing some day-trips to places where they can try out the skills. Gymnastics, trampoline places, climbing gyms etc all have all drop in or party rentals. Same with a lot of art places.Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbadboss101
That was our strategy, let them try absolutely everything to see what sticks. They won't know from asking. The only bad that came out of that is that we have one in baseball and boxing, another in cheer, and 3rd into hockey and art. Our kids schedules are insane.Quote:
Originally Posted by ExtraSlow
Things should look up next year as the oldest can get his license.
Well, three kids is part of your issue.
My kid in wrestling got thier collarbone broken within a couple months of starting out, so done that sport for the year. Wonder if they will want to try again next year......
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjstare
She chewed a hole in 3 in one night, so we were like k you're done with this shit haha. Doesn't ask for it anymore but definitely fucks around for 10x as long before she will sleep now.Quote:
Originally Posted by ExtraSlow
My kid is obsessed with the soothers and is way too old for them (2)
But my wife doesn’t have the balls to do anything about it the 100 times I have tried to stop so it’s her problem now.
It doesn’t help that my mother in law lets her break all the boundaries we set with them every time she sees her. My mother in law causes a lot of issues actually.
Stop earlier. We made the mistake of stopping late, and we're in a world of hurt for ortho starting next year for one of our kids. It transitions from soother, to thumb, and you get into a situation where they're subconsciously sucking a thumb in the middle of the night. Then it's fixing the overbite caused by thumb sucking.Quote:
Originally Posted by killramos
Ortho basically told us kids need to stop soothers/thumb sucking by 3 to prevent jaw misalignment or whatever it's called.
poke little holes in the soother so it isnt satisfying to suck. then make the hole a bit bigger every day.
My youngest are 2 and 3 right now. Both kids rarely used a soother past 6 months. Got the older one transitioned into her bed when she was 1 1/2. A friend said to transition our youngest into her bed when she turned 1 which we thought we should try. Everything went great as the younger one wants to be like her older sister. By the time they were both 1 & 2 they were sharing a room.
Only issue these days are the kids want to get up all the time. Sometimes 4 or 5 times a night they'll wander into our room. Doesn't help it started from them being sick so often but now the oldest almost wakes up at the same times every night.
You are going to trigger my PTSD with talk about kids waking up 5 times a night.
it's horrible right now. Originally my 2 yr old slept through the non sense but now she's up and wandering around with the 3 yr old. Will wait for the upcoming pediatrician apt to see if she thinks melatonin can help the older one sleep through the night.Quote:
Originally Posted by ExtraSlow
She seems to be a super vivid dreamer and talks alot in her sleep. But now she wakes up just to wake us up.
One night I opened my bedroom door and she was just standing there. She scared the crap out of me. Reminded me of a scene straight out of a horror movie.
There exists sleep training programs. They are controversial, but simple, and to be honest, they are more about training the parents than anything else.
Mine sleeps through the night mostly and only wakes up with bad dreams etc. She also talks in her sleep quite a bit. I'm hoping the next one will do the same too.
Bun in the oven, and due in July, just in time for me to not spend any time in the garage.
Our 4 year old son jumps into our bed sometime during the night, 85% of the time. Our soon to be 8 year old daughter jumps into our king size bed 40% of the time. Too nice to send them back I guess.
Right now son had croup and ear infection. My wife is not feeling well today. Cold like symptoms. Our daughter is starting to cough. Not fun when everyone else in the house is sick.
I think we passed the tough times with our kids. Youngest just turned 7 and can cook himself breakfast (microwave eggs, reheat bacon, make toast). I had 10 days off this xmas, played video games till 2, and slept in till 10 or 11 every day. Felt fucking good.
I swear, watching that old enough show on Netflix with the kids last year and sending them in stores with their own credit cards taught them how to be independent. The kids buy their own shit now, we set them up with mydoh so they have their own cards, earn their own money thru chores. Of course they're still irresponsible with money and broke till payday buying Pokemon cards and vbucks, but they're learning.
Oldest starts driving lessons in a couple of weeks.
This sounds like bliss.....Quote:
Originally Posted by rage2
4 more years.... :(
Don't reset the clock with another one lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by vengie
Was in a group chat talking about my top 3 parenting tips.
1. Don't have 3 kids
2. Stop soother/thumbsucking early
3. Turn on subtitles
Lol well technically I do have another one...Quote:
Originally Posted by rage2
Currently 3 years old and 10 months old.
Sure as shit not having a third.
Attachment 110739Quote:
Originally Posted by rage2
I'm doing all 3 of these. Nice.Quote:
Originally Posted by rage2
Damn, the thumb sucking is by far the worst thing we have with our oldest. Cannot break him of it. We were already told we need to go see an ortho soon. Fortunate that it is the worst of our problems but frustrating all the same.Quote:
Originally Posted by rage2
You guys let your kids have soothers? Worse than soda sippers.