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Lots of good stuff here. Agree with the consequences 100%. In fact, I would often sometimes over-react on purpose a bit when I was at home, in a controlled environment. IE take their games away for some minor infraction. By showing that you'll carry through with things in a controlled environment, I rarely had to worry about it when I made threats in public. They knew I'd carried through with other punishments (which were suitable to me) so why wouldn't I carry through that one?
Also, letting them into your bed is something you should only do if you're prepared to do it forever. Go sleep in their bed if you need to, but our bed was always off-limits. I know too many people with teenagers that are still bothered by their kids coming in sometimes. No thank you. It caused some hefty fights with the wife but we got through it when the kids were young and she's happier now for it.
Also, like some have said, this "waking up" may be a phase that you have to live through. It's terrible while it's happening but honestly most of the time it doesn't last long. The only other thing I might suggest that hasn't been stated is seeing if you can manage the sleep times differently. Depending on the age, she just might not quite be old enough to sleep through the whole night? I don't know if she was doing that in her crib, but stretching our her bedtime or manipulating her naps/sleeping/etc might help her get through that stretch better.
My 5 year old has been waking up with nightmares after Christmas. Her same age cousin was sleeping over in my daughters bedroom and my daughter told her that her bookshelf comes alive at night and the books attack her. Her cousin noped out of there so fast it was hilarious. They really start to get an active imagination when they’re 4/5.
Never for us; always in her crib until she changed to a new room with a double bed. It's just a new found freedom and testing the boundaries of that freedom. It was a tough month or so getting her to learn that she can't come out and play, but now it's a dream. She stays in her bed and sings or talks until she falls asleep. If she gets up in the night, we know something's wrong. It's hard, but just be consistent and don't break their trust. Don't yell or show your frustration, just keep walking her back to bed. Decide where the boundary is, tell your kid, then enforce it consistently. They're good learners even though they fight it.
hahahah wtf, that's creepy.
I love this thread, just a bunch of dads blindly making their way through fatherhood. I'm right there with you fellas. No co sleeping though, our kid only like sleeping in her crib, literally no where else haha.. it took 19 months, but she sure is being an asshole lately :rofl: (her being an asshole took 19 months, shes always slept like a dream... not to rub it in)
Any advice on dealing with the terrible two's?
My son has become an asshole.
There will be regressions, its just natural development of babies brain. Our little guy is 19 months now and going through another regression. He'll go down fine at his usual 8pm bedtime and for the last ~8 months was sleeping thru til 10am sometimes, but now he's back up at around 2am, moans a little bit for 10 mins and goes back down. Then at 6am there's a scream-fest for about 10 mins and he goes back down before getting up around 8-9am
We had a similar thing around 9 months, then about 13 months and now this. There's milestones they approach with brain development at these ages, the wife reads some baby journal thing and so far everything has gone along with what it says.
I'm coming up about 5/6 months behind you here brother...we'll have 2 newborns coming and #1 is going through an asshole stage now. No-one is allowed to do anything for him except mummy and he'll have a shit-fit over not getting his own way
Trying to teach him to help mummy out by feeding the dog and cats, and he's gotten quite good at it, even though he's still trying to eat the dogs kibble :rofl:
My boy likes to fiddle fuck around before he goes to sleep which includes getting up a lot to check if I am in bed too. Or he will start getting up around 5:30-6am every 10 minutes when we usually don't get them out of bed until 7:30. Although I try not to, if I am desperate I usually give him a few books and turn his lamp on. For my kid he gets up because he says he's done sleeping or doesn't want to sleep so I tell him he doesn't have to but he has to stay in his room and he can read books until I get him. 9/10 times I find him asleep when I come back, the other 1/10 times hes signing to himself while stacking the books.
We transitioned my son just after his 2nd birthday to a real bed (twin from ikea) that had a hockey stick guard rail on it that I built. We made a big deal about it which I think helped solidify how cool it was for him. He actually would never get out of bed at all until he was 3.5 and we started to night potty train. My daughter is going to be a handful though so she might have to stay in the crib for longer.
We never co-slept but had friends whose kids were 6 and 4 before he finally put his foot down and made them sleep in their own beds. That sounds like hell.
Yeah, now my girl is making it through the night fine, but it's exactly what you just described. She has to watch me go into my room to "go to bed" at the same time as her, and she'll be up by 5:45-6:00. Oh well, progress is progress.
RE: Co-sleeping, a buddy of mine did the co-sleeping with his two kids, I think they transitioned them to their own rooms somewhere between 2-3yo. He didn't have anything bad to say about it, says now they sleep in their own beds normally for the most part (they're 4 and 6 now). What I don't understand is how you find the time to conceive a second child when the other one is with you whenever it's sleeping :confused:
If my daughter comes to our room in the middle of the night because of a nightmare we let her sleep with us. However, at some point when she starts kicking or laying across the bed sideways I try to carry her back to her bed and then she'll typically stay there until the morning. If you constantly let her stay then it becomes the norm and we don't want that as a norm.
We are dealing with our 3yo coming over at around 1am and/or 3am every night too . Not necessarily to climb into our bed, but she need to know we are there. We just need to walk her back to her room and wait ~ 1-2 mins for her to fall back asleep. It's not too bad but it also means I haven't had an uninterrupted sleep in about 1.5 years.
Kids are very interesting. All winter long we kept on trying to get our 2 year old to wear his gloves/mittens. He refused. This was an issue for many outings unfortunately. We had to return home many times because his hands couldn't be out in the cold that long. Nor could he play in the snow etc for too long.
Yesterday I see him digging through his little basket of clothes, and in his hands are on his winter gloves, never worn of course. He was very interested in putting them on (weather outside was +16c). He calmly let me put them on for him and was amazed. Did not want to take them off.
:nut:
Toddlers are basically hard wired for power struggles. I just try to avoid giving him hard NO's on the things I can, and getting to that level with him. The strategy I read about that seems to work pretty well for us, is to give him a choice of things as much as possible. For example, if he doesn't want PJ's on, I don't argue with him and try to force him into them. I hold up two pairs and ask him to choose which one he wants. It's not fool proof, but it certainly saves a lot of headaches.
The illusion of choice has been a great method of control for centuries.
Lol. Mine isn't that wild yet, he is still 3 months away from being 2. So I'm sure I have more joys of terrible twos coming my way.
But I've found it helpful to read a lot about this stuff. There's been a lot of parents before my time that have figured things out that can potentially work for me. Seems like a lot of parents tend to just assume this parenting thing is all intuitive and expect to get it right all on their own. I follow a few toddler parenting pages on Instagram, and they tend to have some helpful suggestions more times than not.
We also have a three week old newborn... So that's also a thing.
We do the choice thing too, it works well.
Also, terrible twos is inaccurate. Was not terrible at all for us. Year 3 was way harder than year 2.
There is the emotional/reputational harm of knowing your kid literally eats dog food…
2 wasnt bad for either of my boys, but came across someone calling them the 'fucking fours' which seemed to fit.
I used to eat some dog bones (much to the dismay of Drago) and I turned out fi...
*It's harmful...
Another useful tip that is insanely effective for our kids is using a timer. We use one for everything from sharing a toy they both seem to want, to TV time, to playing before we have to leave anywhere. Anything that was previously a fight and you can associate a time frame too has been made so much easier. For example there is a park on the walk back from daycare, before if we stopped it was a nightmare getting them to leave when it was time to keep going home but as we walk up we tell them we are going to set a timer for 10 minutes and when it goes off its time to go. I have them press the "start" button on my phone so they have some involvement and off they go. The other day they were fighting over riding a scooter on the deck so we set 2 minute timers where each got a turn and repeated that until they were over it. Its been one of the most effective tools we've had.
haha we're at the terrible 1.5's, everything is a battle right now... and i jinxed myself, last couple nights shes been waking up at 12 in like 10-15 minutes intervals and crying. im scared for june and kid 2 :cry:
I’m starting to get the sense that kids can be little shits at all ages or something…
My kids now: "I can't do the dishes, I have to study!"
Tell me you are Asian without telling me
Buster told me I'm white.
Easy way to win dad of the year award is to buy this at Sunridge Costco:
Attachment 106197
A steal at $30. We put our kids’ towels and pyjamas in here before bath time and they love it. We went thru a phase where they hated baths but now we mention the warm pjs after and they love it again.
Husband of the year too for your wife. Warm towel and pj's and a long bath while you handle kids.
Going to need to find my Costco card.
That's something I need that I didn't realize I needed.
You guys don’t own clothes dryers?
Such flex. Much stairs
Either that or it’s in the communal laundry in the basement of his apartment building :rofl:
True ballin is a bungalow.
Can’t even afford a second dryer.
Number 2 came a week early last week, so now I’m designated toddler dad. Way more work than expected lol.
Anyone know how to secure a child seat in the back seat of an S14? The seat belt is too loose for sure..
We used bungee chords when I was a kid?
I gave it a reasonably quick tug and it had a lot of play lol
Babies!
I've offered to put one in mine... wife was a hard no because of noise level and exhaust fumes.
But if you do really want to get it in, get one of these buckles, its how they used to do it back in the day. It's called a seatbelt lock clip or something like that.
Attachment 106724
My bad, stupid pic didn't work.
Congrats!
The image in my head:
Attachment 106678
Alright way too much misinformation being given here. In a prior job, I was a certified car seat tech (yea those are a thing).
Need some info from ya. Is your kiddo rear facing or forward facing and what carseat do you have them in?
If rear facing, you can use EITHER the UAS (universal anchor system) clips OR the seatbelt. Not both.
If you are forward facing, and your child is under 40 lbs, you can use UAS clips OR seatbelt, but you MUST also use the top anchor. If your car does not have a top anchor, you cannot legally or safely use any forward facing carseat in your vehicle until you have one installed.
Being that your car is older, you may not have UAS anchor points at all. So you're stuck with a seat belt install. If this is the case, you now need to figure how to lock your seatbelt. You'll need to determine if the seatbelt's retractor is only an emergency locking retractor (meaning it locks when you pull on it quick, but releases if pull on it gently), or if it is a switchable locking retractor (meaning if you pull all the webbing out, the seat belt is then locked as you feed it back in - you'll hear a ratcheting sound - and you can only pull it out again if you feed it all back in first).
If you an emergency only locking retractor, you'll need a locking clip and they are a pain. If you have a switchable retractor, there are numerous videos online demonstration how to install car seats with this method in a secure manner.
Now, this is where your carseat model matters because some newer carseats have built in seatbelt locks, which enable you to skip dealing with your vehicle's retractor and makes the install much easier. Every brand/model is different, but let me know cause Im pretty familiar with all of them.
Over 90% of carseats are installed incorrectly and frankly, if its not done properly, you may as well stick your kid on the roof cause you're providing no benefit from a harm reduction perspective during a collision.
Cycosis recommends the following:
1. Read your damn carseat manual cover to cover.
2. Understand the terminology.
3. Know the weight and height limits of your carseat for both positions (if applicable).
4. Learn what installation options you have specific to the vehicle your are installing the car seat in.
5. Practice the install. If the carseat just slides around on the vehicle's upholstery once you think its 'installed', you've done a terrible job. The goal is to make the carseat part of the frame of the vehicle as much as possible. You should have less than 1" of lateral movement in any direction. When you go to move the car seat, the vehicle should rock back and forth on the suspension, the carseat should not move.
Hit me up with any questions, feel free to post pictures.
I feel like it might need to be explained that I was joking about the bungie chords… lol
My all time favourite was someone was using a plastic bath seat and then had rolls of duct tape in the footwell. They literally taped their kid each time and then used scissors to cut them out.
*This was not observed by me, but a lead trainer at ST Johns ambulance.
I once saw a family in a Toyota pass me, the kid was in the front seat in the mom's lap. I then passed them as a cop pulled them over a couple of lights up.
Dog owners do this all the time as well. I can only imagine a dog between someone’s face and an air bag going off……
Woof!
great info Cycosis, i will take it all in and try and make it work...
I don't think it's going to work though, so my hopes are not high haha
All done with these. Free to the next dad that wants to pick them up. Still lots of paper left. @Pacman ?