It's not adding 1% risk. IT IS NOT RISKIER, no matter what your uninformed opinion is. And again, it's optional, and choosing midwives doesn't mean you have to give birth at home. Only something like half choose that.
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This is the misconception.
Doctors don't deliver babies, Nurses do. There are a lot of shitty nurses and our first kid had a shitty nurse. Wife had tearing and we had to wait for the doctor for almost an hour for her to be stitched up due to a complicated birth in the next room. The midwife can stitch you up, no waiting.
Our second kid with the midwife was 10,000x better. They know what they are doing.
The midwife stays with you the entire time. Nurses come in and out. The doctor comes once and then disappears until the baby is crowning.
Traditional birth in an hospital if for those that want no attention or no attention to detail. It infuriating. I can ramble on and on about how crappy the first round for us was.
Directly, no one. Midwife groups/businesses will refuse to do it if you're high risk. If a death were to occur because they accepted a known high risk patient, they would lose their permit to practice, along with any possible legal charges.
So I'm sure there are some that still will do it, but there will always be that segment regardless.
You can have a birth anywhere you want, with or without a doctor or a midwife. People do it all time all around the world.
Western civilization has made giving birth out to be an "illness" where a doctor is required to facilitate the process to becoming "well" again. WTF. It's a natural process, that yes, can have complications, but women's bodies were made to give birth without interference.
Well we were discussing home births, or at least that was the impression I got. What makes you think my opinion is uninformed? Every doctor I've ever spoken to about it shares my opinion. Let me ask you this then - if an unexpected complication occurs that requires immediate, life-saving surgery (regardless of the chances), would you rather your wife and child be in a hospital or at home with a midwife?
As I said before, I am not judging and I'm glad to have the choice, it's just not something I would personally ever agree with.
This thread is perfect. I hope OP got what he wanted :rofl:
It's why we chose to use midwife with a hospital delivery. Best of both worlds. The reason for the midwife for our 2nd and 3rd was purely to work with the same person. Without a midwife, you're basically delivering a baby with whomever is working at the hospital at the time, adding to the stress of an already stressful situation. I wasn't a fan of midwives at first, let the experts do it's thing, but after giving it a try, I wouldn't do it any other way. Totally changed my opinion 2 appointments in. They're experts as well and having the same person with you from -4 months to +1 month is a much better experience. They even plan their holidays around the delivery date to ensure you're only dealing with them. It's like VIP service, for free.
Homebirth isn't worth the risk IMO, however minuscule the risk may be. So I agree with you there.
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In my (my wifes actually lol) experience a dr administered the epidural. Took about 5 minutes, was a surgeon who did it I am fairly sure.
Resident (Dr supervised) delivered the baby and did the stitches after. Maybe was involved for 30 minutes. Didn't see another one during our overnight stay.
Mid wives sound awesome. if we have another we will look into it for sure.
I think I am definitely failing on trying to be open minded, at least tonally. :rofl:
I have nothing to add or argue about aside from my uneducated opinion (hence my general deferal to medical doctors).
I continue to be interested in what people have to say though :dunno:
We had both of our kids without midwives, but our first had a couple of minor complications (umbilical cord wrapped around neck + pooped while still inside) so we were very happy to be in the hospital. They had the "green team" on standby which was basically 4 or 5 nurses/doctors ready to go during delivery to handle any issues. Luckily there were none but having them there ready to go was reassuring. After that experience i would never do a home birth.
If we have any more, might look into a midwife based on the feedback i'm reading, but would still be hospital for sure.
Anesthesiologists are the only doctors allowed to administer epidurals as far as i know. Could be wrong on that though.
I think the thread had relevant helpful advice before we started arguing about risk statistics. Or I hope so anyway. OP if you have more questions, ask away and we can help get back on track.
After you have your kid, your username should change to Had_Skrilla
This makes complete sense to me and I think midwives are great just in case that was not clear. Combined with a hospital I think that is a win/win. It is specifically the home birth scenario that I would never risk, regardless of who is doing it. Even if you had a team of doctors in your house, it's still not as good as being in a hospital if something went terribly wrong unexpectedly.
Both of my nieces had unexpected complications at birth that required them to be at a hospital and that has definitely opened my eyes as to how dangerous it would be if it was done at home.
Back on topic.
Don't shake the baby. Also no NyQuil until they're at least 5yo. No matter how much you want them to sleep.
I’ll chime in with the perspective of a mom who has gone both dr and midwife routes.
Dr: I had never met the dr who delivered my eldest until I was in labour. She was nice, but I don’t even remember her name, and probably interacted with her for 30 minutes total. I had a great nurse during labour, then a terrible one post-delivery. It’s a total gamble what the experience will be, depending on who happens to get assigned to you in the hospital. Then, staying overnight in the hospital alone, I had little to no support as I lay there trying to figure out what the heck to do with a tiny human.
Midwife: We met with her regularly from 4 months on. Her career is focused on maternal health, and delivering babies safely. Going home shortly after the birth to be able to immediately settle in, and have access to family support was huge. Another big bonus was that rather than having to go anywhere with a newborn for a checkup, she continues to come to your home to check in post birth.
On advice for a soon to be dad, I think it’s been covered. But, I agree, support and understanding for your wife is incredibly important. And - food. She will have no energy to think of cooking. Have meals ready to go, and get your freezer full prior to your due date with things that just need to be heated up. If you’re home with her, don’t even think of getting food for yourself without making something for her too.
Thankfully my wife is a RN so she knows most of the nurses at the hospital. I got some great ideas to make life easier for sure, much appreciated! We have an ultrasound next week to hopefully determine gender.
Was curious, for time off, how much did you guys take off when your child was born? Was thinking 10-14 days tops but maybe that's off.
I took 3 full weeks, then worked 2 days a week for 2 weeks, then 3 days for 2 weeks, then back full time. Wife took one year then back 3 days a week now that daycare is back open.
I took about 10 weeks. My company is pretty good, they offer 17 weeks of parental leave at 85% of my salary. I had intended to take the whole 17 weeks, but the right opportunity at work came up, so I came back for that.
We're expecting our second on July 20th, and again I'm planning on taking the whole time, but anticipate coming back a little bit early if the right role comes up.
The first it was mostly like vacation. She was an easy baby, and both of our parents are in town, so we just enjoyed lots of family time. I'm anticipating this will be much more work for us as a couple, since we have a busy toddler to chase around.
I would take as much time as you can justify being away from work.
If you want to learn about car seats, just message me. Did inspections/installs full time for 7 years.
My little guy is creeping up on 2. Its been amazing but also one of the hardest things I've done. Make sure you keep it balanced, ie. if the kiddo wakes up crying in the night, take half of the turns going to sooth/change/feed. You dont get special privileges just because you get to go to work everyday. And put the phone down. They grow at a lightning pace and it will be over before you know it, so be mindful to be present.
FYI Doula /= Midwife.
A Doula is a support person and will be with you during the birth, but they don't have any medical involvement.
To O.P
First off congrats! its a amazing time and live in the moment.
My wife and I had a doula (which I personally highly recommend) and she was phenomenal.
My Tips:
Birthing process
1) Take over the room, lights off play music, move the bed in any way you want. Keep your wife moving as much as possible.
2) Snacks! Bring a lot of snacks... My wife labored for nearly 18 hours (hence why a doula is phenomenal)
3) Keep her hydrated - Even if she doesn't want water, have her drink some every 10 mins
At Home
1) Have your baby introduced to a bottle ASAP!! This will allow you to take over 1 night feed and allow mom an extra couple hours of sleep - this is a big deal.
We had our son introduced to a bottle on day 3, and wife pumped all milk required.
2) Move baby to their own crib/ room relatively quickly (We moved our son into his crib at 4 weeks) This will drastically improve sleep for both of you
3) Don't buy new things - they are expensive as hell, kids out grow things extremely fast and things are cheap on kijiji/ marketplace
4) Dr Chase Kolik Gripe Water ,this stuff has been gold in our house as our son was/ is quite gassy - Get the good stuff, not the alcohol free. Its very gentle on baby so no worries.
Again live in the moment and good luck! If you want me to elaborate on any of this PM me.
I just had my second on the 23rd. Definitely a change having a toddler plus a little one. I took off 2 weeks, back to work this week but still working from home so I can still go help with nap time and anything else that's needed. So far so good though and wife hasn't needed much help.
The nurse made me look with my second and it was pretty intense.....
Im really surprised too but after reading the posts i would probably go midwife/hospital route too. We got lucky with our kids because the nurses were all amazing but i could see the experience being way better with an actual person being there the whole time helping my wife out
vengie- your advice on the bottle made me laugh. I had a friend say breastfeeding is the only way to go this way they never had to help with bottles.
I took a month off with my first born and was planning for the same amount of time with my second until covid happened and it turned into 3 months. Not only was it beneficial for my wife to have me around as we navigated life with a baby, but it really helped me and forming a bond with the tiny human who is now screaming at me all the time. I wouldn't have traded that time for anything in the world. We try not to give any unsolicited advice to any new parents because we know how brutal and scary most of that advice can be, but the one piece of advice I do give any expecting dads is take as much time off as you possibly can because its time you will never get back and your wife could really use a hand.
This is all great advice! One note on the snacks front though is that make sure what ever you bring or give her is easy to throw up so things like muffins and soft fruit will be easier than granola bars.
The bottle thing is also key the only thing I would add is that I believe its more about consistency than it is about early age as they can't form an association for quite a while. But if you're consistent with the bottle then once that ability to associate boob + bottle = food then you are ahead of the game. Our first was really good with the bottle but I wasn't consistent with it and we had about 3 months there where it was a fight to get him back on it. Also, your kid will end up having a preference for a bottle type and it probably won't be any of the first 2-3 that you buy because kids are assholes.
Gripe water is the shit. It was the only thing that calmed our son down, it was our life blood for a little bit because he was so gassy. The second one hasn't needed it but we have a bottle on standby just in case.
I'd also recommend getting the app or the book Wonder Weeks. It had phenomenal information about the gestation of baby then about all of their developmental leaps. Just when you think they are in a routine they will switch it up and turn into terrorists, this book/app helps explain what new skills they are learning and why the sudden change in their behavior.
Also, you're a ways away from this point now but when baby is here you're going to probably want a way to track naps, feeds, diapers, medication etc so find a good app to track that. We've used BabyTime for both kids because it syncs between our phones and its been clutch. Things are going to be a blurr and you and momma are going to forget when baby last ate or was changed so it really helps with your sanity. Plus when they start having legit naps and not sporadic sleeping its good to track that and get a bit of a feel of how that is going. Mind you, my wife and I are engineers so maybe we just like data....
EDIT: Side note, midwives carry the same amount of equipment with them everywhere they go that you would find in a level 1 hospital like High River. If you are a low risk pregnancy you're more than covered with medical training and equipment regardless of where you choose to have your kid and if there is an unexpected issue they are more than capable of handling it to get you transferred to emergency care (regardless if you are at the hospital or home). Again, like many people have mentioned just because you have a midwife doesn't mean you have to have a home birth, if you feel more comfortable in a hospital then the midwife will deliver your baby there. You get the same level of care and experience with a midwife regardless of where you choose to have the baby and I would say there is no argument that the total experience with a Midwife from pre to post birth far exceeds the random Doctor/Nurse combo you're going to get come delivery. Its more about having the same person who saw you through your whole pregnancy be there for the actual birth and do all of the follow up. It was a really educational experience for me and instilled a ton of confidence in us.
Ya it’s a lot. Our company is driving pretty hard towards gender equality, and parental leave is an obvious area where typically men don’t take much time off, so they strongly encourage it. I could go on, but maybe save it for next time we get a coffee.
In the grand scheme though, 3 weeks vs 10 or even 20 is inconsequential as far as my work is concerned. I only have one shot to spend that kind of time with my kids, I’m gonna take advantage of it, at least to some extent.
I had booked 1 week off for baby. I instantly turned that into 2 as soon as we returned home. I then worked usual hours for 2 weeks until we were told to shut down re COVID. Since that time I've been working 1/2 days only by choice. Going into month 5 now.
COVID + WFH has been a blessing in disguise. I am self employed, so this has essentially been a paid paternity leave. Without COVID being the push to WFH I don't think I would have worked reduced hours for this long. Staying at home and seeing all the stuff happen during the day that I would have otherwise missed has made me realize how important these early months are. Take as much time off as possible, you will never regret it. I will definitely try and do this for future kids as well. :)
I just had my second child last month and have a two year old as well.
Be prepared you will be tired all the time for the first three months so buy stronger coffee. I reccomend death wish coffee or make sure you are well stocked up on your favortie caffine source.
Take as much time off as you can (see point one) you will be tired and will need to try to watch the baby while your wife sleeps etc.
I just hope you do a better job than I did with Rurr Jurr. I know it's a little late son but, I finally bought that pack of cigarettes I went out to get in 1993.
Instead of starting a new thread, I'm just going to piggy back off of this one.
Expecting our first little one in the summer and finally went shopping for some stuff last week and there are tons of options for everything, obviously.
So I'm looking for some help in recommendations with your must haves and things you found helpful to have.
Also if there are decent sites to review different car seats / strollers etc. It seems as though every site I've come across are just terrible haha.
Any help would be much appreciated.
This isn't popular with the aspen crown, but get the graco for both. Wal mart and Costco both sell em. Buy a base for the infant seat for each car.
There's better stuff than graco out there, but not better value. It's a baby not a fashion accessory.
x2 sort of. I recommend the Baby Trends brand for infant car seats because it had a handle that meant your hand was in a natural position when lugging it around. If your palms are facing forward, it's a lot more difficult and awkward.
Save the Diono car seats for Aspen. Fuck those completely. Horribly heavy and fragile.
Buy a used City Select stroller on Kijiji for like $700 and sell it in two years for $650. Or, scavenge hard and get one for $600 that you sell for a profit in two years.
We have 2 babies a year apart at home right now. The wife decided peg perrego strollers and car seats. Biggest help early on was a good swing. A good bouncy chair.
Both babies were born in summer so a good shade protector for spending time outside was crucial. Our back yard has turned into a jungle gym as we aren't taking the kids out much.
We picked up a Pickler recently which has been awesome for the older baby inside the house. Also the kitchen helper/stool device has been perfect for when cooking in the kitchen. The older baby likes helping or being involved.
Added options to consider for the wife are anything to help with simplifying some dinners. I bought a souve vide machine and one of the insta pots.
That baby carrier just get the most reasonable thing you can get. They are not in it long enough to justify it. It's when they get into a car seat, get one that will go from rear to front facing, that will last you a long ass time and will be more of an annoyance if not a good quality.
My in-laws agreed to buy our stroller, so we bought new, and a nice one. If I were paying, 100% go used as noted above. For everything else focus on functionality first. I think we would have bought a lot more stuff used if we didn't have family giving gifts, etc.
The biggest game changer when our kids were born was the video baby monitor which was a relatively ne thing then. Especially one that can pan and tilt remotely, or multiple cameras if it doesn't have that.
Help for the wife is a huge one. Some families use a "postpartum doula" or a "mothers helper" when they are babies. Or house cleaners, or a husband who steps up and does the majority of the "pink" chores. Or weekly babysitting/respite care for the older kids.
Don’t go overboard on clothes, especially in NB sizes. Clothes are the easiest gifts and you will likely get a lot. That and people are always peddling them online in huge quantities if you are ok with used.
Our daughter is super into those little double arc play gym things that flash lights and sounds with hanging mobiles etc. Thing could 3/4 of the way to babysit her most of the day.
We have a mamaroo seat, huge waste of money for our kid, she much prefers the cheappo bouncer. Try not to get too much shit because there are going to be things your kid won’t gaf about. I know lots of people who swore by the mamaroo but just shows that the kid is the one in the driver seat for those preferences etc.
Have realistic expectations about what your life will be like post kiddo and you will be better off for it. Current covid rules of being locked up and never really seeing people, that’s your new life regardless of where covid is later in the year. At least for a while. It’s not so bad as long as you don’t expect otherwise.
Number one thing I can say, is if you are up before mom in the morning. Grab the baby and leave to let her get a few minutes of uninterrupted sleep. It’s easy for you to hold the baby while having your morning coffee and means a lot to mom.
Get your child into set schedules.
Sleeping
Eating
Activities
If you don’t they will rule your world. Once they become accustom to schedules they will never argue or complain about bedtime, eating, or anything really.
Don’t spend crazy money on, car seats, strollers, cribs, etc. Waste of money.
Simple is best.
Don’t go crazy on brand name clothes, waste of money, they grow too fast to bother.
Take lots of photos, memories are amazing, they grow so fast.
Get them reading as early as possible, the more they read, the faster their brains develop.
Keep them away from iPads and electronics, or at least limit their exposure.
Get them involved in activities, sports, interaction with other kids, helps with social development.
My two cents.
Congrats and good luck. Kids are amazing!
Appreciate the info / opinions. Keep them coming.
Trackhawk is the perfect family vehicle.
Save your money and don't buy the fancy stuff. Graco has treated we well for the parts that ive conviced my wife for. Try not to buy much. 3 years later im still finding things new with tags. We had good luck with swaddlers diapers. Blow outs suck, so try s fee brands. Get used to a messy house.
Do a birth and babies class, you'll learn some useful info, but the biggest thing is your wife will have a group of people to talk and share with about some fucking hard realities. That's my biggest piece of advice, 3 years later and we are still friends with some and most still talk weekly.
If you have a 2 story house put a second change and nap station on the main floor.
No need to scare you with all the hard stuff. Take lots of photos, it'll go faster than you can believe
It's true when they say The days are long, but the years are short. Can't believe our girl is turning 2 already. Feels like it was yesterday when we brought her home.
My opinion is that there are some stuff absolutely worth splurging on (like a good baby monitor) and some stuff just go cheap or even borrow if you can since you might only need it for a couple of months. But either way, dont get it until you need it since every baby is different.
We got so much stuff that we later realize we didn't need at all, like a bouncer/rocker or baby gates. Somehow we got away not needing either. or the infant insert for the baby carrier. That one is still BNIB.
I'm going to buck the trend here, and say that lots of the brand name baby gear is actually nicer. It may or may not be worth the full pop retail cost to you (extra 50% cost gets you 15% more quality/better design), but at a minimum it's definitely worth scouring kijiji and getting a used "nice" [insert piece of baby gear] for the same price as a new "average" [same piece of baby gear]. We have basically all higher end stuff and when we end up selling it, it's going to be very lightly used, and significantly cheaper than retail.
If you like to spend any time outside, get a jogging stroller of some type. Doesn't necessarily have to be expensive, just have big wheels. Doing any type of outdoor walk with your normal mall cruiser Nuna or even worse yet an umbrella stroller is not great in summer, and impossible in winter if people haven't shovelled. FWIW we have a Thule chariot cross 2, and of all the expensive brand name kid stuff we have, this one is by far the most worthy of the cost. Quality is fantastic and our only experience with the warranty process (wife ripped the padding on the handle) was painless and efficient.
Yea, this was our mindset too for the most part too. One caveat is that when we spent more money, it was something that would last a long time or serve multiple purposes. We got an expensive convertible car seat (a wool Clek Foonf), but one he stays in longer since it has a higher height limit than other car seats. This car seat is also a tank and one of the safest ones out there. A couple of other things we splurged on were his crib and high chair. Both of which you buy cheaply, but if you get a 3 in 1 or 4 in 1 crib (West Elm/Pottery Barn Mid-Century) that will last till he's 16+, it is a lot easier to open up the wallet. The high chair (Nomi) we got was one that is highly adjustable and as he grows, we just move the footrest and seat to accommodate him. When he outgrows it, it becomes a stool that's rated for 200 lbs or so. You can always buy a cheap Ikea highchair for the grandparent's house.
Screw high chairs. Fisher Price makes one that sits in a kitchen chair and is super easy to drag to others' houses.
It's called a Space Saver. You buy meow.
Ikea is amazing for kids stuff. If they sell it, get it there. High chairs, cribs, dishes, bedding, stuffed animals etc.
We used the Ikea high chair for quite a while (>2years). In some senses it's great (cheap, reasonably easy to clean); it's got it's drawbacks too. Not adjustable, no footrest, and the legs stick out so goddamn far that every single person who walks past it will trip on them. Literally every family member, including those of us that actually live in this house, has tripped over that fucking chair.
We replaced it with a Stokke Tripp Trapp. Granted it's 15 or 20x the cost of the ikea chair (yes, it's ridiculous), it's definitely nicer in every respect. Also highly configurable, etc. After having a cheap high chair for the first kid, and an expensive one for the second kid, for us it was definitely an item worth splurging on. It gets many hundreds of hours of use.
Scour marketplace for good things. My wife got really good at this, so we were able to score nice things that were gently used for cheap.....Things we found value in:
Bassinest by Halo - Find a used one, use it for a couple months, and sell it for the same. This was a zero cost item for us in the end.
Hatch Baby Grow change pad scale - Again, look for used, picked up for the price of a mid range changing pad, and is awesome for tracking feeds, tracking growth, etc.
Boon High chair - Looks good, rolls around, easy to clean, and again can be sold for what you buy it for used
Powered swing - Another short use item, when clean and used can be flipped for no cost
Jolly jumper - from about 4 months on this seems to be the favorite activity, and its stupid cheap.
V-Tech RM5764HD baby monitor - We discussed monitors for a long time. We wanted the ability to watch local while we were in the house, but also the ability to watch while we were at the neighbors, or anywhere else. This one is an authenticated remote access (so not like an IP cam), where you can watch on the local monitor and a smart phone at the same time, you can control the pan tilt, talk, listen, everything through both as well. This covers us when babysat and when I'm at work and just want to peek at him sleeping. Super happy with this purchase and the research we did.
Little einstein activity mat or fisher price kick piano - great entertainment to put the kid down and shower, or just let him/her explore.
Bumbo seat - kids want to be part of the action, so sometimes when the activity mat is not what they want, bumbo them on the counter to just be part of it all.
Uppababy Cruz v2 stoller - this is one we paid full bore for, and I will admit when I was wrong. I wanted a cheaper stroller, but this thing is just made good, folds and rolls good, has tons of accessories, and hold their value for resale. Its expensive, but you'll use it lots.
Used carseat peg perego 4-32 - This is controversial, and I admit I won't buy a carseat from just anyone. This is a friends and family or coworkers kind of deal. We got a car seat with 2 more years to go on the clock, with 2 bases for $75. Our friends bought a Mesa for $600 and had to buy another base one top of that. Guess who makes out better in the end when they graduate to a convertible in the year
Britax convertible car seat - These are expensive but you'll use them a long time. For me, it was down to safety, comfort, adjustability as they grow (do you have to disassemble to adjust the belts? no good), and cup holders. My wife is funny with this because she makes fun of me wanting cup holders, well where do you think your kid is going to put things in their hands if there aren't places for it.......right on the perforated leather. Unfortunately you'll need 2 of these unless you want to lug a heavy seat back and forth between vehicles. Either way in our research, we liked these. Maybe a grandma wants to contribute
Car seat protector - just get a Diono knock off from Amazon, they all do the same thing.
Things we didn't find value in:
Mammaroo - just a waste, glad we had this lent to us because it just wasn't as good as a swing.
Boutique diapers, or kirklands - Just bulkier, not as nice, tended to not seal as well, and cost more. Just stick with pampers, do a subscribe and save
Definitely buy the Britax seats. They weren't in Canada when our kids were born, got them a couple of years later and they were way better to use than what we had before.
We went full hippie with the second child for sleep. Laid down with her in her room until she fell asleep and then left.
Then one day when she was about two, she said "I don't need you anymore. Good night".
I could write an essay on this subject but I am not going to. I have 2 daughters, 11 and 14. I am 42 and my wife just turned 40. Let me know if you have any specific questions. I can't add to all the advice given in this thread, it is top notch. Take lots of pictures and videos so you can go back and re live the awesomeness of them as babies, toddlers and growing up. Frig I am almost in tears posting this, thinking about all of my experiences over the years. Time flies my friend. Lots of hard times the first year for you but mostly for your wife. Amazingness awaits!
Like everyone else said time flys by. Enjoy it. Routines helped our kids, but the third kid we handled things a lot different. 1st kid is like disinfect everything, 3rd kid you don’t worry as much on this. (Besides COVID obviously taking a new swing on this). Don’t get to hung up on trying to to do everything by the book, find what works for you and your family. We have two older boys and decided 5 years later to have a baby. She’s just about 2 now but I will tell you we did spend a little extra on thing like stroller and others after using cheap stufff for first two. There is a difference but as mentioned in here look for used. If you need anything specifically and are ok with 2nd hand I’m willing to pass some stuff along. We have one of those uppababy strollers and bassinet combo but not sure if i would be able to pry from wife’s hands before you want. Everyone else advice so far totally agree with. Embrace the stages and enjoy the sleep while you can haha
Britax convertible car seat has been great for us.
Birth and babies was really good too, but they have changed how it works due to covid is what I have heard. But still a great support group for your wife if you guys get along with the other couples, we had an amazing group.
babybrezza Steam Sterilizer, if you can find a used one in good condition is worth it. Makes life so easy for cleaning and drying the bottles. A bottle warmer is good too, especially when its some time in the middle of the night and the newborn is screaming their face off for food. My wife pumped so it made it easy for me to feed the monster in the middle of the night, the easier it is to feed them at night, the better for your sanity.
I thought that was an old wives tale, and that thumb sucking doesn't actually fuck up kids' teeth?
On a somewhat related note for new dads, take away the soother early. We took it away around 4 months IIRC (whenever they start rolling over and sleep with arms outside the swaddle). They complain a bit, but get over it within a couple days. I see people on my social media that have to take the soother away when the kid is 1-2yo, and it's a battle.
Do not set your kid on a counter in a Bumbo seat.
Birth and Babies courses are all virtual right now so I'm not sure how beneficial they would be, not being able to really interact with other couples.
I’m sure it’s been said, but postpartum depression.
Covid amplifies it, Keep an eye out for signs and changes in behaviour.
A lot of women change for life after children. The woman you married and dated might not be the same. Not trying to scare you, just stating.
We took a birth and babies from AHS virtually and it was really really terrible.
I guess it depends on how interested you are in paying money to listen to a group of extremely pregnant ladies and new moms complain about how rough their week has been for 50-75% of the class time (0 exaggeration btw, we started every class with how has your week been) to watch a 90’s PowerPoint delivered by someone who’s qualifications can be summarized by “I’ve had 5 kids” rather than any actual medical credentials for a couple hours a week for a couple months.
IMHO you would be far better off cracking a beer and watching a few YouTube videos instead.
Yup, first hand experience...luckily dental work for under-18s in the UK is provided by the NHS so my parents weren't out thousands for the extensive orthodontic work I had to have. I also apparently have a pretty severe tongue-tie which can contribute to it aswell. They diagnosed my son with it at the first visit to the Lactation consultant and it was fixed when he was like a week old.
My friends just had a daughter they diagnosed with a lip and cheek tie, she had it all lasered at 3 weeks old, but the bone of her top gum hadn't fully grown so she could have a slight cleft pallet - again, easy to reverse when they're newborns and will save extensive/expensive dental work later on.
The lactation consultant and baby chiropractor have been two invaluable resources for us. I'm not a believer in chiros, but I'd say she's more of a baby masseuse than a chiropractor in the adult sense, she doesn't crack baby at all, just massages and shows you different holds to stretch them for various scenarios
Also, the Once Upon A Child "thrift" stores....wife gets everything from there. They only take very good quality and clean stuff and have great sales on it too, we got the Basinest thing mentioned above and it was amazing!
Ugh, i haven't even considered that angle. Really need to get my 3 yr old son off it to avoid expensive braces in the future.
With my 1 yr old girl, we stopped her before it became a habit which was harder than people might think considering she watches her older brother do it all the time. We didn't let her get hooked to a soother either (she stopped taking it after 6 months) so definitely learned and applied the lesson from the first kiddo.
It's our own fault for taking advice from random internet parent forums when we googled about children sucking thumbs...the overwhelming consensus seemed to be to let them do it and they would grow out of it but it's much easier for everyone to just stop it early.
I am going to disagree with most beyonders here on the baby monitor suggestion. We tried a few of the expensive ones (on loan from friends in between kids) but always came back to the $40 wyze cams. Wyze cams were better video quality than 90% of what we tried and what other friends in my wife's birthing class use and you can access them from anywhere. If I am working on the road I am able to check in on them from my cell phone or if we are in the basement watching a movie we have an old cell phone we use as a monitor. We can talk back through it (to scare the shit out of my toddler so he naps) and the audio is great. We've had 1 crater in the 3 years its been set up so we replaced it for another $40. I believe @rage2 had a suggestion a few years ago about using an app with an old cellphone which is basically how we came across the wyze cams and we've never regretted it since. This is an excellent comment. Make a point of discussing PPD and PPA early in the pregnancy so it doesn't become a taboo subject. If you're with a midwife or even a doctor ask them about resources should momma go through that after baby is here. It all helps break down the stigma about recognizing there might be an issue and asking for help if she needs it. For our first we went as far as having a phone call with a therapist as a pseudo introduction should my wife need to talk to someone after. I don't think you necessarily need to go that far but talking about it before is key, then watch your wife closely after just to be sure she's okay.
We have taken both kids to chiro with Dr. Lindsay Nealon since they were about a month old and I 100% agree with you that they are a valuable resource. Like you said they don't crack or do weird manipulations like they do for adults and its more of a massage/information session. She helped identify different developmental milestones and when our kids might not be grasping a certain skill quite yet she gave us stretches or activities to do that definitely helped. Plus when they get mobile and fall on their asses she helps make sure nothing gets jammed up. My wife also saw her throughout her second pregnancy which helped a lot with her hip/back pain.
I splurged on a Nanit camera. Maybe a bit overkill but the quality is great, we make use of the white noise machine built in every night, the night light is also nice built in all in a solid app with great background audio support.
We use the “breathing monitor” features built in which helps my wife sleep at night.
No ragrets.
There is one piece of advise that i think is universal when looking at buying stuff. That is, to understand that this stuff is going to be almost worthless or sell for penny's on the dollar when the child grows out of them. Some stuff will hold a bit better value but for the most part, you lose BIG TIME.
Get hand me downs on clothes where you can. That's the biggest waste IMO as the kid grows SO FAST you are just buying and buying then you have to sell a giant garbage back of it for $20 just to not have to throw it out. Second hand equipment where you would also save big. The only thing i wouldn't buy used would be the car seat(s).
As for my recommendation, the number one piece of equipment we couldn't live without would have been the Baby Brezza. Think keurig for milk. We put it in the baby's room and make late night feedings super easy and quick.
Same here. The few things we have no regret splurging on and would recommend (if you need it).
1) Baby Brezza Formula Pro - Keurig for formula. life changing
2) Baby Brezza one step sterilizer
3) Arlo Baby monitor - all the convenience of a webcam (cast to any TV and phone around the house) + built in night light and sound machine. It also works on internal battery for a few hours so we can move it around the house the odd times the baby fell asleep somewhere else.
4) Snuggle Me - at first I thought my wife was crazy spending almost $200 on a pillow, but so worth it.
5) Chicco keyfit 30 - it's so worth it to spend the money on an as light weight of an infant seat as possible. We didn't go with the Pipe lite because it can't stay flat on the ground by itself.
6) Pack and Play for the living room - we ended up changing 90% of the diapers (when she was an infant) in the living room pack and play changing pad rather than in her room.
7) Diaper pail - I don't know why anyone would decide not to get a proper diaper pail but it's such a no brainer purchase. We use the Ubbi and then get Glad odorshield trash bag for it.
I'm sure this is an experience thing, and it always goes without saying that my suggestion was on the assumption they would not be left unattended and placement is key. I fail to see how its any different than a lobster chair. Keep stuff far enough away to not grab, and don't put them near an edge. I place mine on a big island. A little common sense is reasonable, no reason to bubble wrap
6 months in, so far so good.
only advice i can give is limit how much pop they get, we set that at 1 a day(usually diet too). and keep an eye on ipad usage, we avg about 4 hours per day (this doesn't include tv time).
Other wise have fun! take it all in, they grow up so fast.