School me on being a Dad

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Originally Posted by nismodrifter

6. Sleep now, watch movies now, order nice dinners now, tinker on your car now, work in the yard now. Very hard to do this stuff with new-born. Slowly gets better.

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I found the opposite. New born is so much easier in the sense that they just eat, poop, and sleep 24/7, and it takes no time to make milk/formula or change a diaper so I found myself working on the yard or playing video games alot more than before while the baby sleeps, or even going out for lunch/dinner quite frequently because the baby can sleep anywhere in the car seat/ Bassinet.

Now that our girl is eating solids (which means we need to spend time making 3 meals/day) and crawling everywhere ( aka requires constant supervision) and get bored so quickly (stuck watching baby shows on TV ) we have no time to do anything else. Things were so much easier a year ago when she was a new born lol.

If you're early enough in the pregnancy apply to get into midwifery care. I cannot stress how much this helped us with both of our kids. Having a trained professional who is invested in your pregnancy and sees you every step of the way was huge for us. We had our first kid with some complications at the hospital and the second at home. In both cases the midwife was the primary care provider and it helped my wife immensely knowing that the woman (or team of women) she saw the whole pregnancy was there for the delivery and then all the postpartum care. Its not just for the granola hippie dippy type, they are trained medical professionals who can prescribe medication and all the tests you need plus are regulated through AHS. Plus most mid wife centers facilitate groups for all the moms under their care due around the same time so they have a safe comfortable space to ask questions and talk. This and our pre natal glass were easily the two best things we did to set ourselves and our kids up for success, it helped with her anxiety and my need to be in control.

Like most have mentioned get used clothes. Friends with kids will be giving you boxes of them so wash and take what you need then when your kid outgrows them pass them on to someone else. Get a swing or a bouncer, they are life savers when you're trying to eat supper or get some chores done. Invest in a good quality car seat, they are expensive but they are also carrying your child. On that same thought get a good quality stroller. There are tons of good used ones out there so you don't need to spend new prices but you will be using it a ton so make sure you get one thats comfortable for you and the baby and can carry your shit.

Unlike the other beyonder who said don't use reusable cloth diapers I quite like them. Sure you end up doing laundry much more frequently but there are no blowouts and we aren't rushing out for diapers when we forget. YMMV but don't count it out just because someone said it was too hard, it really isn't. Both have great qualities - we cloth diaper at home and when we travel its back to disposables with a cloth diaper cover for ease of use.

Discuss depression, anxiety and postpartum depression with your wife BEFORE you have the baby. Make sure it becomes an easy subject to talk about with both of you so that should it start to creep in once the baby is here there isn't any stigma surrounding it. If you aren't good at reading your wife implement the number system like what was suggested before, but at the very least make sure you are in touch with how she is doing. Ask her frequently and listen to what she says. Help where you can because "you have useless nipples" (as my wife likes to say) so put in the extra effort elsewhere like diaper changes, making meals, or hanging with baby so she can get 15 minutes of alone time.

All you need for when baby is here is diapers, a car seat, a place for it to sleep, and a few sleepers. Everything else can come after. Make sure you at least have those items before and you're golden.

second getting a mid-wife.

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Originally Posted by schurchill39

If you're early enough in the pregnancy apply to get into midwifery care. I cannot stress how much this helped us with both of our kids. Having a trained professional who is invested in your pregnancy and sees you every step of the way was huge for us. We had our first kid with some complications at the hospital and the second at home. In both cases the midwife was the primary care provider and it helped my wife immensely knowing that the woman (or team of women) she saw the whole pregnancy was there for the delivery and then all the postpartum care. Its not just for the granola hippie dippy type, they are trained medical professionals who can prescribe medication and all the tests you need plus are regulated through AHS. Plus most mid wife centers facilitate groups for all the moms under their care due around the same time so they have a safe comfortable space to ask questions and talk. This and our pre natal glass were easily the two best things we did to set ourselves and our kids up for success, it helped with her anxiety and my need to be in control.

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Third. I'll call out @SQ2 to post her thoughts on it. She's laying beside me reading my shit every night it's about time she contributes here more.

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Originally Posted by schurchill39

If you're early enough in the pregnancy apply to get into midwifery care.

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What is the typical cost for this though?

Third. Also don't be afraid to look into a planned home birth. It was awesome not having to drive to/from a hospital in the middle of a February cold snap.

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Originally Posted by Disoblige

What is the typical cost for this though?

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5 years ago it was covered under AB health. Don't know about now though.

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Originally Posted by spikerS

My advice, and it sounds so cliche, but savour every second. They DO grow up so fast, and man, I miss the early days a lot. Now that my kids are 11 and 15, I find myself longing for when they were 2 or 3. I miss it a lot. No, I am not having any more lol

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This is probably the single greatest piece of advice in here... Everyone says it goes by so quickly. And even if you prepare yourself for that, it's still faster than you expect.

Also we used a doula for both our births and for the first one it was awesome she helped a ton, was in training so she couldn't charge much (it's based on experience). Think she was only able to charge 150.00 and it was a solid 20 hours ... Paid her her 150.00 and I think I got her a Chinook gift card as she had to have the 150.00 payment separate .

Second one. Experienced doula that pretty much sat around as my wife knew what she was doing and what she wanted. Cost way more and was there for 5 hours. Couldn't use the first one as she was pumping out a baby at the same time .

Still for the first one I think it was worth it .

For the love of god don’t snip the poor fella

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Originally Posted by Disoblige

What is the typical cost for this though?

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It's covered. Something like $100 out of pocket. You have an option of a home birth or hospital birth. Hospital typically keeps rooms free for midwives, and there's doctors and nurses available if anything goes south. If everything goes smooth, you do not see any doctors or nurses at all. You also get to go home right away. After the birth, we filled out the paperwork (30 mins) and left.

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Originally Posted by RX_EVOLV

I found the opposite. New born is so much easier in the sense that they just eat, poop, and sleep 24/7, and it takes no time to make milk/formula or change a diaper so I found myself working on the yard or playing video games alot more than before while the baby sleeps, or even going out for lunch/dinner quite frequently because the baby can sleep anywhere in the car seat/ Bassinet.

Now that our girl is eating solids (which means we need to spend time making 3 meals/day) and crawling everywhere ( aka requires constant supervision) and get bored so quickly (stuck watching baby shows on TV ) we have no time to do anything else. Things were so much easier a year ago when she was a new born lol.

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Same! Our girls are similar age and it was way easier a year ago when she didn't move around as much. From 11 months to 16 months (now) it's just trying to keep her safe and not flipping off the couch or into the bath tub. We're also down to one nap, so the time to get actual stuff done is way shorter too. It's also way more fun because we can actually play together now, but exhausting.

Any recommendations on a good quality monitor/camera?

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Originally Posted by Skrilla

Any recommendations on a good quality monitor/camera?

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Basic Wyze cam works just fine in our experience. Nightvision is decent enough for a $30 camera.

We had an older D-link babycam that had temperature and a few other gimmicky features, but we never used them so that's why i say the Wyze are just fine.

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Originally Posted by rage2

It's covered. Something like $100 out of pocket. You have an option of a home birth or hospital birth. Hospital typically keeps rooms free for midwives, and there's doctors and nurses available if anything goes south. If everything goes smooth, you do not see any doctors or nurses at all. You also get to go home right away. After the birth, we filled out the paperwork (30 mins) and left.

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They are completely covered. The only thing we paid for was a private room at the hospital for recovery, and a small gift after. Nothing is out of pocket except for any supplements she decides to take. A doula is what costs money and those are not the same as a midwife. A midwife is a primary care provider and a doula is just there to comfort and help out where she can.

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Originally Posted by Skrilla

Any recommendations on a good quality monitor/camera?

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We went through a few with the first kid and honestly the best one we got was just a Wyze cam thanks to someone's advice on here. We have one in the nursery and another in my toddlers room. We just use an old phone for the monitor and it works great. Plus when I am working nights or away I can check in at bedtime or if we are in the back yard I just check in on my phone. We even bought a third one for traveling to the inlaws too. They are so cheap and such good quality you'd be silly to drop $250 on anything when you can get a 2 pack for $80.

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Originally Posted by Tik-Tok

Third. Also don't be afraid to look into a planned home birth. It was awesome not having to drive to/from a hospital in the middle of a February cold snap.

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Our second came so fast that I delivered her as the midwife just got to our house. They brought in their equipment, checked over mom and baby, did all the appropriate paperwork, cleaned up the bathroom and bed, then left us as a family. They were in and out before my toddler woke up.

Plus they do the first two weeks worth of follow ups at home so they come to you. It was amazing.

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Originally Posted by Skrilla

Any recommendations on a good quality monitor/camera?

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I had an old iPod and bought the baby cam app.

https://cloudbabymonitor.com

Went through 3 kids with that iPod haha.

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Originally Posted by schurchill39

Our second came so fast that I delivered her as the midwife just got to our house. They brought in their equipment, checked over mom and baby, did all the appropriate paperwork, cleaned up the bathroom and bed, then left us as a family. They were in and out before my toddler woke up.

Plus they do the first two weeks worth of follow ups at home so they come to you. It was amazing.

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You delivered??

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Originally Posted by Skrilla

You delivered??

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From the time her water broke to the time we were holding her was 16 minutes. All those years of fantasy football had me well prepared. I honed in on my inner Tom Brady so when the wife snapped it back to me instinct took over. The midwife showed up about 3 minutes after birth to pass me a Gatorade.

Hopefully you didn't try to deflate the ball.

Seriously though good job. I would have passed out.

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Originally Posted by schurchill39

From the time her water broke to the time we were holding her was 16 minutes. All those years of fantasy football had me well prepared. I honed in on my inner Tom Brady so when the wife snapped it back to me instinct took over. The midwife showed up about 3 minutes after birth to pass me a Gatorade.

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That's crazy stuff man! I too would have passed the fuck out

I never looked during delivery. I too would've passed out. Looked out the window, held her hand, till baby was fully out haha.

Glad to see I'm not the only weak sauce around here.