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Type: Posts; User: Toilet_X

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  1. Replies
    51
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    3,914

    I havent checked in on this for a while. Looks...

    I havent checked in on this for a while. Looks good, do you think it would pull my float at the pride parade next year?
  2. Replies
    56
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    1,543

    Although i do turn tricks at all hours, i havent...

    Although i do turn tricks at all hours, i havent really taken to technology in regards to business. In fact, a couple of those amazon test drones have already hit my messenger pigeons. Im an old...
  3. Well i got all worked up for nothing

    Well i got all worked up for nothing
  4. Or when the spouse doesnt cut the crusts off yer...

    Or when the spouse doesnt cut the crusts off yer sangy, ya gotta off 'er. It's the only rational thing to do.
  5. Replies
    57
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    1,646

    Are you telling me you DONT have a barret .50 cal...

    Are you telling me you DONT have a barret .50 cal for home defense?
  6. Well if trud had have given me a courtesy pat on...

    Well if trud had have given me a courtesy pat on the buttocks after the reach around we wouldnt be in this mess. Im taking that handsome fuck down.
  7. Replies
    57
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    1,646

    Yup. Getting shot after breaking into someones...

    Yup. Getting shot after breaking into someones house isnt even the biggest thing to worry about. Someone breaks into my house, the next thing they know they'll be in a pit and made into a skin suit...
  8. Replies
    12
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    715

    I prefer mine attached

    I prefer mine attached
  9. Replies
    191
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    6,560

    Well the good news is im no longer using my...

    Well the good news is im no longer using my duramax turbo diesel powered prostate tenderizer. Ive gone green and switched to solar.
  10. Replies
    65
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    4,090

    I was there for a probing. Sad to say it didnt...

    I was there for a probing. Sad to say it didnt happen.
  11. Replies
    101
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    4,485

    I dont like guns. When i lived on the streets i...

    I dont like guns. When i lived on the streets i was invited to a cabin by some crazy dudes that hunted people for sport. Used to keep the heads in jars as trophy's. Anyway, one of them forgot the...
  12. Replies
    1,153
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    57,020

    According to what i just read on urban dick, i...

    According to what i just read on urban dick, i shouldnt even be alive. Jesus.
  13. Replies
    1,153
    Views
    57,020

    When you're giving yourself a Q-job and the Q-tip...

    When you're giving yourself a Q-job and the Q-tip breaks and gets lodged in your pee hole, and you have to wait at the lougheed for 14 hours before they can remove it.
  14. Replies
    18
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    640

    I vape on the odd occasion. I dont wanna go too...

    I vape on the odd occasion. I dont wanna go too hard though cause its super hard to get semen out of my neckbeard and fedora after a bubblegum nicotine jack off session.
  15. Replies
    101
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    4,485

    Wow i didnt hear a damn thing. I was at pro...

    Wow i didnt hear a damn thing. I was at pro hockey life sniffing the jock straps, and didnt notice any ruckus.
  16. Replies
    4
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    500

    Oh my.

    Oh my.
  17. Replies
    9
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    772

    It's kill or be killed out there boys. I was...

    It's kill or be killed out there boys. I was picking a wedgie one time and drifted into the lane next to me, cutting off the korean senior in a kia next to me with his 2 years military service. To...
  18. Replies
    18
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    1,162

    Sounds like its easy to clean i have an alpaca...

    Sounds like its easy to clean i have an alpaca wool blanket that will shatter like a mug if dropped.
  19. Replies
    266
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    18,411

    https://youtu.be/wQY6N9F4JGE The real reason...

    https://youtu.be/wQY6N9F4JGE

    The real reason the amazons burnin. Enjoy these brazillian sweet hearts.
  20. Replies
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    784

    Theyre pretty quiet too

    Theyre pretty quiet too
  21. And just like that, we're buds.

    And just like that, we're buds.
  22. ... what're you doin l8r??????

    ... what're you doin l8r??????
  23. I was three meters away from uncle spencer. Now...

    I was three meters away from uncle spencer. Now im molested. But not really changed.
  24. Replies
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    2,014

    That storms nothing compared to when i came out...

    That storms nothing compared to when i came out to my parents
  25. Replies
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    11,299

    I should move into this neighborhood. My PTSD...

    I should move into this neighborhood. My PTSD related night screams should straighten the neighbors right out.
  26. No. Not even close to the stupiderest. I'll make...

    No. Not even close to the stupiderest. I'll make sure of that
  27. Replies
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    11,299

    Jesus man dial it BACK. GAWD. OP have you tried...

    Jesus man dial it BACK. GAWD.
    OP have you tried drawing a giant dick in their driveway
    with gasoline and lighting it on fire like they did in the crow??????
  28. Replies
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    187,334

    My uncle did it, and its a great set up.

    My uncle did it, and its a great set up.
  29. Its ok man. Honestly i only know because i...

    Its ok man. Honestly i only know because i regurtitate mostly cockrings. Very rare circumstances if its animal parts. Usually the case of a broken retrieval string.
  30. I watched an uncle take a shot of tequila with a...

    I watched an uncle take a shot of tequila with a raw oyster and throw it up. Another uncle got pissed off and told him he cant be wastin good tequila n oysters and picked up the freshly yacked oyster...
  31. Anyone suspected of cheating will be brought in...

    Anyone suspected of cheating will be brought in for taste testing.
  32. Replies
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    5,441

    I wish i still had some of the beer i made to...

    I wish i still had some of the beer i made to give to you guys. It was really smooth and easy to drink. Prolly cause i filtered the shit out of it. My sister shaved her legs in the bath tub and just...
  33. Oh my god man... im so sorry :( These things can...

    Oh my god man... im so sorry :( These things can be really hard to get through. I suggest taking it in and having it cremated. Get a box you can get the ashes put in, spread them in the room the the...
  34. Alright you know the rules boys. You start at the...

    Alright you know the rules boys. You start at the base, and file down the smega. I dont want no cheat inches.
  35. Replies
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    11,299

    Half is all i NEED.

    Half is all i NEED.
  36. Replies
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    1,211

    I found there to be a severe lack of weiner in...

    I found there to be a severe lack of weiner in the matrix. And you can bet your bottom dollar i paused the scene to check where he slid bareassed out of the power plant. Id watch matrix 4, fuck it.
  37. Replies
    61
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    5,623

    I used to have an aztek back when i was turnin...

    I used to have an aztek back when i was turnin tricks. Knocked over a kirkland tub of ky jelly onto the front left tire, ended up spinnin er out down the foot at 140. Sigh, RIP Semen Demon :(
  38. Replies
    1,153
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    57,020

    Is... i.... that never crossed my mind :(

    Is... i.... that never crossed my mind :(
  39. Replies
    230
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    11,299

    Or challenge them to a wrasslun match at the...

    Or challenge them to a wrasslun match at the local mma gym
  40. Replies
    230
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    11,299

    You guys should move to my hood. Loud exhausts...

    You guys should move to my hood. Loud exhausts 'round here get you blown. By me though.
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