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Type: Posts; User: Epididymitis

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  1. Replies
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    28,650

    I dont know much about boats. But i do know ill...

    I dont know much about boats. But i do know ill float yours, big fella.
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    7,130

    I always stop, and administer blow jobs if i...

    I always stop, and administer blow jobs if i witness an accident. Last major pile up on deerfoot my esophagus had so much travel i ended up coughing and hacking up so much dead skin it looked like...
  3. Sorry, too busy smelling my own farts in my...

    Sorry, too busy smelling my own farts in my jacked up F 350
  4. Replies
    170
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    34,064

    3500 eh? I'll watch your kids for a small price...

    3500 eh? I'll watch your kids for a small price oooof, leave me a 24 in the fridge.
  5. Im not allowed to eat 'em. I have diverticulitis...

    Im not allowed to eat 'em. I have diverticulitis and the last time i tried eating one, i swallowed someones kidney stone and had a massive flareup.
  6. LOL @ washing hands with soap. Have you simple...

    LOL @ washing hands with soap. Have you simple bastards not figured out that is what the urinal cake is for?
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    393,010

    Gave myself rhino skin watching hugh jackman in...

    Gave myself rhino skin watching hugh jackman in chappie
  8. How can someone say such... such things of...

    How can someone say such... such things of beyond? Honest to god with all the genital mutilation ive endured over the years beyond is the only thing that keeps me erect in the morning.
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    4,878

    I have hold music for my home line. Its just me...

    I have hold music for my home line. Its just me farting into a cardboard tube.
  10. Replies
    21
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    3,688

    I wouldnt donate money to snowcat if he fell off...

    I wouldnt donate money to snowcat if he fell off his longboard face first into my dick.
  11. Replies
    27
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    2,597

    Omg, such a classic. I used to have like, the...

    Omg, such a classic. I used to have like, the DRYEST orgasms to this as a little fella.
  12. Replies
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    2,555

    I agree with your keyboarding. I learned on a 600...

    I agree with your keyboarding. I learned on a 600 from da streets and had i have just went to a school, i would have saved myself numerous pairs of underwear. No accidents though, if you exclude the...
  13. I think every one here knows that the koreans...

    I think every one here knows that the koreans play enough star craft to know how to blow the united states to smithereenies.
  14. Replies
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    44,978

    Pick an island and just turn over rocks on...

    Pick an island and just turn over rocks on beaches and look for critters all day every day.
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    2,597

    Your kids ever heard of the maiden?????

    Your kids ever heard of the maiden?????
  16. I used to use a wooden avocado masher as a...

    I used to use a wooden avocado masher as a buttplug while masturbating. So much so the paint began to flake off and spike into the walls of my rectum. I had to go on a diet of jello and water, so...
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    170,934

    Ive caught a few restraint orders in my day. This...

    Ive caught a few restraint orders in my day. This pokerman go sounds pretty kewl.
  18. This is where my zuchini practice all pays off....

    This is where my zuchini practice all pays off.
    Cop gets testy with you, suck his dick. Do or dont, you get shot in both situations though.
  19. Replies
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    7,425

    Make it a reach around party, and im there.

    Make it a reach around party, and im there.
  20. You guys actually enjoy canned sphincter meat?

    You guys actually enjoy canned sphincter meat?
  21. Replies
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    7,574

    Just a heads up guys, be careful of a company...

    Just a heads up guys, be careful of a company called Austins Moving. Something about credit card fraud/unauthorized charges/not showing up. Guy who runs it is named Jason Leask. Revenue canada has...
  22. Replies
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    4,086

    I can tell you and i are gonna get along very...

    I can tell you and i are gonna get along very well.
  23. Holy shit, the jailbait thread. Watching all the...

    Holy shit, the jailbait thread. Watching all the would be pedophiles protesting that thread being shut down was nothing short of hilarious. Beyonds darkest hour.
  24. Replies
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    Poll: Wre-heh-heh-heeeecked.

    Wre-heh-heh-heeeecked.
  25. Uggghh my eyes and ears.... RAPED.

    Uggghh my eyes and ears.... RAPED.
  26. Replies
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    Poll: I'll be returning to O&G. Been rigging under a...

    I'll be returning to O&G. Been rigging under a tower crane in hirise construction since i was laid off two years ago, and sick of it.
  27. Yeah, i started a gofundme for the family of the...

    Yeah, i started a gofundme for the family of the dude i killed while giving him road head, you insensitive dick. Although, what you said sounds like a better idea than wiping out on a long board with...
  28. Shit no, rules dont apply to me because ive...

    Shit no, rules dont apply to me because ive befallen hard times.
  29. All i know is that if buddy can get away with...

    All i know is that if buddy can get away with this shit, im taking the old ski-doo down deerfoot with an automaxx rep draped over the front of the seat while suckin' me dry through my one piece sun...
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    Buddy i know just what you mean, ive had to buy...

    Buddy i know just what you mean, ive had to buy no name brand ramen for the last two years. Im 'bout to ride dat ichiban train.
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    Aw it doesnt even look that bad. I'd still allow...

    Aw it doesnt even look that bad. I'd still allow you to thrice lay me in that car.
  32. Replies
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    Oh snap, i didnt even see this! Go ahead and...

    Oh snap, i didnt even see this! Go ahead and delete my bs thread. Sorry buds!
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    I bought the first one on the blu ray for my...

    I bought the first one on the blu ray for my brother and he just didnt appreciate the humor :(.

    Glatt, yer ridin' piss hole!
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    The Metal Thread

    One of my fav things to do is scour youtube for great metal bands. But then i thought... why, beyond should have a few fans here and there. For those of you that are fans, feel free to share with me...
  35. Heheheheheheh!!!!!!!

    Heheheheheheh!!!!!!!
  36. Replies
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    Poll: a lack of a sense of taste would only improve my...

    a lack of a sense of taste would only improve my gag reflex.
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    thats a gooder, i really enjoy the balvenie line...

    thats a gooder, i really enjoy the balvenie line up, port wood being my fav.
  38. the only solution here, is to break into the guys...

    the only solution here, is to break into the guys house, and have him wake up with his dick in your mouth. as it happens, you simply ask .... " gonna stop using my email? "
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    As different as that is, it is still very clear...

    As different as that is, it is still very clear to me where the owner of this vehicle wants his penis. In dudes.
  40. 'Scuse me feller, can you direct me to the rally...

    'Scuse me feller, can you direct me to the rally tonight?
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