School me on being a Dad

[ExtraSlow]

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I guess where I am coming from is even if the risk is 1%, why take it when it's unnecessary?

It's not adding 1% risk. IT IS NOT RISKIER, no matter what your uninformed opinion is. And again, it's optional, and choosing midwives doesn't mean you have to give birth at home. Only something like half choose that.

[benyl]

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I try to be open minded, but if the choice is between Medical Doctor, and glorified nurse ( actually I would imagine most nurses are more qualified ).

This is the misconception.

Doctors don't deliver babies, Nurses do. There are a lot of shitty nurses and our first kid had a shitty nurse. Wife had tearing and we had to wait for the doctor for almost an hour for her to be stitched up due to a complicated birth in the next room. The midwife can stitch you up, no waiting.

Our second kid with the midwife was 10,000x better. They know what they are doing.

The midwife stays with you the entire time. Nurses come in and out. The doctor comes once and then disappears until the baby is crowning.

Traditional birth in an hospital if for those that want no attention or no attention to detail. It infuriating. I can ramble on and on about how crappy the first round for us was.

[Tik-Tok]

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Who enforces that? To my knowledge nobody can stop you if you insist on a home birth, I have never heard otherwise but maybe I'm wrong.

Directly, no one. Midwife groups/businesses will refuse to do it if you're high risk. If a death were to occur because they accepted a known high risk patient, they would lose their permit to practice, along with any possible legal charges.

So I'm sure there are some that still will do it, but there will always be that segment regardless.

[benyl]

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Directly, no one. Midwife groups/businesses will refuse to do it if you're high risk. If a death were to occur because they accepted a known high risk patient, they would lose their permit to practice, along with any possible legal charges.

So I'm sure there are some that still will do it, but there will always be that segment regardless.

You can have a birth anywhere you want, with or without a doctor or a midwife. People do it all time all around the world.

Western civilization has made giving birth out to be an "illness" where a doctor is required to facilitate the process to becoming "well" again. WTF. It's a natural process, that yes, can have complications, but women's bodies were made to give birth without interference.

[Mitsu3000gt]

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It's not adding 1% risk. IT IS NOT RISKIER, no matter what your uninformed opinion is. And again, it's optional, and choosing midwives doesn't mean you have to give birth at home. Only something like half choose that.

Well we were discussing home births, or at least that was the impression I got. What makes you think my opinion is uninformed? Every doctor I've ever spoken to about it shares my opinion. Let me ask you this then - if an unexpected complication occurs that requires immediate, life-saving surgery (regardless of the chances), would you rather your wife and child be in a hospital or at home with a midwife?

As I said before, I am not judging and I'm glad to have the choice, it's just not something I would personally ever agree with.

[bjstare]

This thread is perfect. I hope OP got what he wanted

[rage2]

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I don't understand it either. Seems wildly irresponsible to not have both the baby and the mother at an actual hospital in case of complications or unforeseen events that could very easily be life threatening for one or both of them. Even if your mid wife is medically trained, that is nowhere near the same as being in a hospital or having access to diagnostics and an OR with surgeons. I don't get it, but each to their own.

It's why we chose to use midwife with a hospital delivery. Best of both worlds. The reason for the midwife for our 2nd and 3rd was purely to work with the same person. Without a midwife, you're basically delivering a baby with whomever is working at the hospital at the time, adding to the stress of an already stressful situation. I wasn't a fan of midwives at first, let the experts do it's thing, but after giving it a try, I wouldn't do it any other way. Totally changed my opinion 2 appointments in. They're experts as well and having the same person with you from -4 months to +1 month is a much better experience. They even plan their holidays around the delivery date to ensure you're only dealing with them. It's like VIP service, for free.

Homebirth isn't worth the risk IMO, however minuscule the risk may be. So I agree with you there.

[01RedDX]

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[dirtsniffer]

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How much involvement do you think a doctor has in a hospital birth these days? It isn't as they depict on TV.

In my (my wifes actually lol) experience a dr administered the epidural. Took about 5 minutes, was a surgeon who did it I am fairly sure.

Resident (Dr supervised) delivered the baby and did the stitches after. Maybe was involved for 30 minutes. Didn't see another one during our overnight stay.

Mid wives sound awesome. if we have another we will look into it for sure.

[killramos]

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This thread is perfect. I hope OP got what he wanted

I think I am definitely failing on trying to be open minded, at least tonally.

I have nothing to add or argue about aside from my uneducated opinion (hence my general deferal to medical doctors).

I continue to be interested in what people have to say though

[sabad66]

We had both of our kids without midwives, but our first had a couple of minor complications (umbilical cord wrapped around neck + pooped while still inside) so we were very happy to be in the hospital. They had the "green team" on standby which was basically 4 or 5 nurses/doctors ready to go during delivery to handle any issues. Luckily there were none but having them there ready to go was reassuring. After that experience i would never do a home birth.

If we have any more, might look into a midwife based on the feedback i'm reading, but would still be hospital for sure.

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In my (my wifes actually lol) experience a dr administered the epidural. Took about 5 minutes, was a surgeon who did it I am fairly sure.

Resident (Dr supervised) delivered the baby and did the stitches after. Maybe was involved for 30 minutes. Didn't see another one during our overnight stay.

Mid wives sound awesome. if we have another we will look into it for sure.

Anesthesiologists are the only doctors allowed to administer epidurals as far as i know. Could be wrong on that though.

[90_Shelby]

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It's cool that choices exist.

Apparently not, based on the negative rep and someone calling me a "bitch" for posting that comment.

HAHAHAHAHA

[Skrilla]

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This thread is perfect. I hope OP got what he wanted

And then some

[ExtraSlow]

I think the thread had relevant helpful advice before we started arguing about risk statistics. Or I hope so anyway. OP if you have more questions, ask away and we can help get back on track.

[sabad66]

After you have your kid, your username should change to Had_Skrilla

[Mitsu3000gt]

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It's why we chose to use midwife with a hospital delivery. Best of both worlds. The reason for the midwife for our 2nd and 3rd was purely to work with the same person. Without a midwife, you're basically delivering a baby with whomever is working at the hospital at the time, adding to the stress of an already stressful situation. I wasn't a fan of midwives at first, let the experts do it's thing, but after giving it a try, I wouldn't do it any other way. Totally changed my opinion 2 appointments in. They're experts as well and having the same person with you from -4 months to +1 month is a much better experience. They even plan their holidays around the delivery date to ensure you're only dealing with them. It's like VIP service, for free.

Homebirth isn't worth the risk IMO, however minuscule the risk may be. So I agree with you there.

This makes complete sense to me and I think midwives are great just in case that was not clear. Combined with a hospital I think that is a win/win. It is specifically the home birth scenario that I would never risk, regardless of who is doing it. Even if you had a team of doctors in your house, it's still not as good as being in a hospital if something went terribly wrong unexpectedly.

Both of my nieces had unexpected complications at birth that required them to be at a hospital and that has definitely opened my eyes as to how dangerous it would be if it was done at home.

[Skrilla]

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After you have your kid, your username should change to Had_Skrilla

NGL I am not a fan of my username anymore haha. Thought I was cooler 12 years ago

[Tik-Tok]

Back on topic.


Don't shake the baby. Also no NyQuil until they're at least 5yo. No matter how much you want them to sleep.

[SQ2]

I’ll chime in with the perspective of a mom who has gone both dr and midwife routes.

Dr: I had never met the dr who delivered my eldest until I was in labour. She was nice, but I don’t even remember her name, and probably interacted with her for 30 minutes total. I had a great nurse during labour, then a terrible one post-delivery. It’s a total gamble what the experience will be, depending on who happens to get assigned to you in the hospital. Then, staying overnight in the hospital alone, I had little to no support as I lay there trying to figure out what the heck to do with a tiny human.

Midwife: We met with her regularly from 4 months on. Her career is focused on maternal health, and delivering babies safely. Going home shortly after the birth to be able to immediately settle in, and have access to family support was huge. Another big bonus was that rather than having to go anywhere with a newborn for a checkup, she continues to come to your home to check in post birth.

On advice for a soon to be dad, I think it’s been covered. But, I agree, support and understanding for your wife is incredibly important. And - food. She will have no energy to think of cooking. Have meals ready to go, and get your freezer full prior to your due date with things that just need to be heated up. If you’re home with her, don’t even think of getting food for yourself without making something for her too.

[Skrilla]

Thankfully my wife is a RN so she knows most of the nurses at the hospital. I got some great ideas to make life easier for sure, much appreciated! We have an ultrasound next week to hopefully determine gender.

Was curious, for time off, how much did you guys take off when your child was born? Was thinking 10-14 days tops but maybe that's off.