School me on being a Dad

[DonJuan]

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I have a friend who did the co sleeping thing from a young age, they are having a nightmare of a time trying to get their kid to even sleep in a crib now.

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fml

[Doozer]

Lots of good stuff here. Agree with the consequences 100%. In fact, I would often sometimes over-react on purpose a bit when I was at home, in a controlled environment. IE take their games away for some minor infraction. By showing that you'll carry through with things in a controlled environment, I rarely had to worry about it when I made threats in public. They knew I'd carried through with other punishments (which were suitable to me) so why wouldn't I carry through that one?

Also, letting them into your bed is something you should only do if you're prepared to do it forever. Go sleep in their bed if you need to, but our bed was always off-limits. I know too many people with teenagers that are still bothered by their kids coming in sometimes. No thank you. It caused some hefty fights with the wife but we got through it when the kids were young and she's happier now for it.

Also, like some have said, this "waking up" may be a phase that you have to live through. It's terrible while it's happening but honestly most of the time it doesn't last long. The only other thing I might suggest that hasn't been stated is seeing if you can manage the sleep times differently. Depending on the age, she just might not quite be old enough to sleep through the whole night? I don't know if she was doing that in her crib, but stretching our her bedtime or manipulating her naps/sleeping/etc might help her get through that stretch better.

[bjstare]

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Also, like some have said, this "waking up" may be a phase that you have to live through. It's terrible while it's happening but honestly most of the time it doesn't last long. The only other thing I might suggest that hasn't been stated is seeing if you can manage the sleep times differently. Depending on the age, she just might not quite be old enough to sleep through the whole night? I don't know if she was doing that in her crib, but stretching our her bedtime or manipulating her naps/sleeping/etc might help her get through that stretch better.

Yeah she's always been a phenomenal sleeper. Made it through the whole night starting from some really early age like 6-7 months old IIRC. She's almost 4 now, this is just a regression since she's discovering newfound freedom.

[Darell_n]

My 5 year old has been waking up with nightmares after Christmas. Her same age cousin was sleeping over in my daughters bedroom and my daughter told her that her bookshelf comes alive at night and the books attack her. Her cousin noped out of there so fast it was hilarious. They really start to get an active imagination when they’re 4/5.

[JustinL]

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Did your kids have a history of being in bed with mom and dad when they are younger?

Never for us; always in her crib until she changed to a new room with a double bed. It's just a new found freedom and testing the boundaries of that freedom. It was a tough month or so getting her to learn that she can't come out and play, but now it's a dream. She stays in her bed and sings or talks until she falls asleep. If she gets up in the night, we know something's wrong. It's hard, but just be consistent and don't break their trust. Don't yell or show your frustration, just keep walking her back to bed. Decide where the boundary is, tell your kid, then enforce it consistently. They're good learners even though they fight it.

[JfuckinC]

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My 5 year old has been waking up with nightmares after Christmas. Her same age cousin was sleeping over in my daughters bedroom and my daughter told her that her bookshelf comes alive at night and the books attack her. Her cousin noped out of there so fast it was hilarious. They really start to get an active imagination when they’re 4/5.

hahahah wtf, that's creepy.

I love this thread, just a bunch of dads blindly making their way through fatherhood. I'm right there with you fellas. No co sleeping though, our kid only like sleeping in her crib, literally no where else haha.. it took 19 months, but she sure is being an asshole lately (her being an asshole took 19 months, shes always slept like a dream... not to rub it in)

[vengie]

Any advice on dealing with the terrible two's?

My son has become an asshole.

[DonJuan]

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Any advice on dealing with the terrible two's?

My son has become an asshole.

Have you tried fucking his dad? ... wait

[rage2]

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Any advice on dealing with the terrible two's?

My son has become an asshole.

It's more like terrible 2 to 5. Man I remember our 2nd child starting the terrible 2's phase when we were expecting our 3rd. Had us saying WTF were we thinking. Fuck those were tough years.

I have no advice for you.

[88CRX]

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I love this thread, just a bunch of dads blindly making their way through fatherhood. I'm right there with you fellas. No co sleeping though, our kid only like sleeping in her crib, literally no where else haha.. it took 19 months, but she sure is being an asshole lately (her being an asshole took 19 months, shes always slept like a dream... not to rub it in)

I read this thread and wonder how bad its going to get in the coming years haha. Ours is 8 months old and sleeps 8:30-9:30 every night and has for months (knock on wood).

[vengie]

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It's more like terrible 2 to 5. Man I remember our 2nd child starting the terrible 2's phase when we were expecting our 3rd. Had us saying WTF were we thinking. Fuck those were tough years.

I have no advice for you.

Even worse is we now have a newborn as well

The assholeness does not coincide with the new baby, he was an asshole before baby came.

[bjstare]

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Even worse is we now have a newborn as well

The assholeness does not coincide with the new baby, he was an asshole before baby came.

Like others said, it'll get worse before it gets better. Good luck.

[haggis88]

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I read this thread and wonder how bad its going to get in the coming years haha. Ours is 8 months old and sleeps 8:30-9:30 every night and has for months (knock on wood).

There will be regressions, its just natural development of babies brain. Our little guy is 19 months now and going through another regression. He'll go down fine at his usual 8pm bedtime and for the last ~8 months was sleeping thru til 10am sometimes, but now he's back up at around 2am, moans a little bit for 10 mins and goes back down. Then at 6am there's a scream-fest for about 10 mins and he goes back down before getting up around 8-9am

We had a similar thing around 9 months, then about 13 months and now this. There's milestones they approach with brain development at these ages, the wife reads some baby journal thing and so far everything has gone along with what it says.

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Even worse is we now have a newborn as well

The assholeness does not coincide with the new baby, he was an asshole before baby came.

I'm coming up about 5/6 months behind you here brother...we'll have 2 newborns coming and #1 is going through an asshole stage now. No-one is allowed to do anything for him except mummy and he'll have a shit-fit over not getting his own way

Trying to teach him to help mummy out by feeding the dog and cats, and he's gotten quite good at it, even though he's still trying to eat the dogs kibble

[ExtraSlow]

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Like others said, it'll get worse before it gets better. Good luck.

This right here. They turn nice again usually by grade 2.

[Darell_n]

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This right here. They turn nice again usually by grade 2.

Agreed. Then you can have actual civil and intellectual conversations with them. I think a handful of members posting lately haven’t progressed to Grade 2 yet.

[schurchill39]

My boy likes to fiddle fuck around before he goes to sleep which includes getting up a lot to check if I am in bed too. Or he will start getting up around 5:30-6am every 10 minutes when we usually don't get them out of bed until 7:30. Although I try not to, if I am desperate I usually give him a few books and turn his lamp on. For my kid he gets up because he says he's done sleeping or doesn't want to sleep so I tell him he doesn't have to but he has to stay in his room and he can read books until I get him. 9/10 times I find him asleep when I come back, the other 1/10 times hes signing to himself while stacking the books.

We transitioned my son just after his 2nd birthday to a real bed (twin from ikea) that had a hockey stick guard rail on it that I built. We made a big deal about it which I think helped solidify how cool it was for him. He actually would never get out of bed at all until he was 3.5 and we started to night potty train. My daughter is going to be a handful though so she might have to stay in the crib for longer.

We never co-slept but had friends whose kids were 6 and 4 before he finally put his foot down and made them sleep in their own beds. That sounds like hell.

[bjstare]

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My boy likes to fiddle fuck around before he goes to sleep which includes getting up a lot to check if I am in bed too. Or he will start getting up around 5:30-6am every 10 minutes when we usually don't get them out of bed until 7:30.

[...]

We never co-slept but had friends whose kids were 6 and 4 before he finally put his foot down and made them sleep in their own beds. That sounds like hell.

Yeah, now my girl is making it through the night fine, but it's exactly what you just described. She has to watch me go into my room to "go to bed" at the same time as her, and she'll be up by 5:45-6:00. Oh well, progress is progress.

RE: Co-sleeping, a buddy of mine did the co-sleeping with his two kids, I think they transitioned them to their own rooms somewhere between 2-3yo. He didn't have anything bad to say about it, says now they sleep in their own beds normally for the most part (they're 4 and 6 now). What I don't understand is how you find the time to conceive a second child when the other one is with you whenever it's sleeping

[skandalouz_08]

If my daughter comes to our room in the middle of the night because of a nightmare we let her sleep with us. However, at some point when she starts kicking or laying across the bed sideways I try to carry her back to her bed and then she'll typically stay there until the morning. If you constantly let her stay then it becomes the norm and we don't want that as a norm.

[RX_EVOLV]

We are dealing with our 3yo coming over at around 1am and/or 3am every night too . Not necessarily to climb into our bed, but she need to know we are there. We just need to walk her back to her room and wait ~ 1-2 mins for her to fall back asleep. It's not too bad but it also means I haven't had an uninterrupted sleep in about 1.5 years.

[suntan]

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Yeah, now my girl is making it through the night fine, but it's exactly what you just described. She has to watch me go into my room to "go to bed" at the same time as her, and she'll be up by 5:45-6:00. Oh well, progress is progress.

RE: Co-sleeping, a buddy of mine did the co-sleeping with his two kids, I think they transitioned them to their own rooms somewhere between 2-3yo. He didn't have anything bad to say about it, says now they sleep in their own beds normally for the most part (they're 4 and 6 now). What I don't understand is how you find the time to conceive a second child when the other one is with you whenever it's sleeping

I'm sure I mentioned it in this thread but the wife and I took turns co-sleeping with our second in her bedroom. One day she just said "I can sleep by myself" and that was that.