Friday joke

[Cavey]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."
He sighed...............
"Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

[EnRich]

hah

[CrvenaZvezda]

BaHaHaHaHaHa

[/////AMG]

meh...

[Moonracer]

[R!zz0]

Originally posted by /////AMG
meh...

[joyridder]

hehe typical.....lol

[djayz]

too long for a blonde joke

[Pee_Sack]

Yeah I heard that one before.

Still funny though

[/////AMG]

Originally posted by R!zz0

lol, I meant meh as in. Meh, that wasn't that funny

[Cavey]

WOMEN ARE EVIL BY NATURE

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her
immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or
paper towels in the ladies room.

[shakalaka]

o right..hahah frosted flakes got tiger on their box..right nice..hah

[shakalaka]

Originally posted by Cavey
WOMEN ARE EVIL BY NATURE

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her
immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or
paper towels in the ladies room.

[jcrules99]

for both jokes

[Cavey]

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, are in
California. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic
cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he buys them
and wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into
the house and says to his wife: 'Notice anything
different about me?'

Margaret looks him over, 'Nope.'

Frustrated, Bert storms off into the bathroom,
undresses, and walks back into the room completely
naked except for the boots. Again he asks, a little
louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Margaret looks up and says, ' Bert, what's different?
It's hanging down today, it was hanging down
yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.'

Furious, Bert yells, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING
DOWN, MARGARET?'

'Nope', she replies.

'IT'S HANGING
DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW
BOOTS!!!!!'

Margaret replies... 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert .
Shoulda bought a hat.'

[bspot]

What did the zero say to the eight?






Nice belt

[Chester]

The first joke, don't know if its just me, but I thought it was fucking hilarious, maybe its cuz work is so boring today hahahaha

[snade831]

i enjoyed that one

[Bill Cosby]

Originally posted by Chester
The first joke, don't know if its just me, but I thought it was fucking hilarious, maybe its cuz work is so boring today hahahaha

haha naw it wasnt just you, work is SOO BORING today too fuck homie lets play some games or something haha

[Cavey]

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of
food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district
instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money.
Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."