What would u do?

[MrPid]

Originally posted by adam c


so because i was in a serious relationship and did shit for someone i love that makes me a chump?

No...going back time after time after time and the fact that you are asking this forum whether you should continue the behavior or not makes you a chump. Move on, channel your anger into something positive, and resolve not to let yourself be a woman's doormat ever again.

There's this joke. It goes "Why does a dog lick his balls?"...and the punchline is simply "because he can!". It is painfully obvious to me and sadly not to you that this young lady has learned from past experience that she can treat you so poorly with no significant consequences. So why does she treat you so poorly..."because she can.".

You go ahead and throw out the question to the females on this board about their take on this situation and in particular about how much respect they think this girl has for you in the relationship and if they were in this girls shoes how much respect they would have for you in the same circumstances. Also ask them how much respect they think you're going to get even if you move forward with this girl.

It might seem a little harsh but I agree with whomever earlier said "grow some balls" and "suck it up". Now that you've learned this harsh little life lesson - certainly don't continue the behavior and definitely don't repeat it in the future!

[quikkoop]

Thats total I have had previous encounters with dumb sults like this one! I got out of it a little too late, but didnt get as deep as you. Im sorry to say, but she's playing you in her little game of chess. Shes got you in the perfect position and going for the checkmate, ditch this bitch and burn the board shes playing on! Get over her, because she's the type of person that will cut both of your kidneys out to make a quik penny that will make her happy! The bitch I ran into messed my best friend and my relationship up just for her self pleasure, just so she could 'get ahead' of the game, but in all honesty and reality, she will NEVER EVER be happy with herself, or anyone else! She will never get 'exactly' what she wants, but she'll keep taking, thinking thats the way to get it. If you let her keep taking from you, and walking all over you, you'll find that your self-hate will go through the roof, your self-esteem down the drain, and depression approaching you, getting ready to piss all over you like a dog with a fire hydrant. Tell this whore that youre done with her game of trying to make your life a living hell, because thats the next step. And even if you do break up with her, something tells me that she'll dig up all the dirt about yourself that you've told her, and itll come back to get you (personal experience). Tough this shit out, straighten up whatever she tries to fuck around with, and get this bitch OUT of your life, for your own sake!

Wanted to type a short little note, but got a little out of hand sorry!

P.S. Tell us how it goes!

[nederlande]

time to move on adam

[adam c]

Originally posted by MrPid


No...going back time after time after time and the fact that you are asking this forum whether you should continue the behavior or not makes you a chump. Move on, channel your anger into something positive, and resolve not to let yourself be a woman's doormat ever again.

There's this joke. It goes "Why does a dog lick his balls?"...and the punchline is simply "because he can!". It is painfully obvious to me and sadly not to you that this young lady has learned from past experience that she can treat you so poorly with no significant consequences. So why does she treat you so poorly..."because she can.".

You go ahead and throw out the question to the females on this board about their take on this situation and in particular about how much respect they think this girl has for you in the relationship and if they were in this girls shoes how much respect they would have for you in the same circumstances. Also ask them how much respect they think you're going to get even if you move forward with this girl.

It might seem a little harsh but I agree with whomever earlier said "grow some balls" and "suck it up". Now that you've learned this harsh little life lesson - certainly don't continue the behavior and definitely don't repeat it in the future!

see i never went back to her, she came back to me.. sorry if u have never gone through shit like this before and dont know what its like or u wouldnt post shit like this.. like i said in my first post, i dont need to be flamed for writing this. if u dont have anything to contribute execpt kicking me in the face then shut up, seriously.. i had one intention in mind by posting this, not getting sympathy or any other shit, but to find out if anyone else has gone through this and how they got through it.. simple, yea i think so

Originally posted by quikkoop
Thats total I have had previous encounters with dumb sults like this one! I got out of it a little too late, but didnt get as deep as you. Im sorry to say, but she's playing you in her little game of chess. Shes got you in the perfect position and going for the checkmate, ditch this bitch and burn the board shes playing on! Get over her, because she's the type of person that will cut both of your kidneys out to make a quik penny that will make her happy! The bitch I ran into messed my best friend and my relationship up just for her self pleasure, just so she could 'get ahead' of the game, but in all honesty and reality, she will NEVER EVER be happy with herself, or anyone else! She will never get 'exactly' what she wants, but she'll keep taking, thinking thats the way to get it. If you let her keep taking from you, and walking all over you, you'll find that your self-hate will go through the roof, your self-esteem down the drain, and depression approaching you, getting ready to piss all over you like a dog with a fire hydrant. Tell this whore that youre done with her game of trying to make your life a living hell, because thats the next step. And even if you do break up with her, something tells me that she'll dig up all the dirt about yourself that you've told her, and itll come back to get you (personal experience). Tough this shit out, straighten up whatever she tries to fuck around with, and get this bitch OUT of your life, for your own sake!

Wanted to type a short little note, but got a little out of hand sorry!

P.S. Tell us how it goes!

see, something to actually contribute, not some other crap like the quoted one before.

calling me a chump, thats good on u but how is that going to solve anything, really?

[quikkoop]

By getting out? It saves you getting thrashed by someone who doesnt deserve the respect you're giving her! Fool me once shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me! Learn from your mistakes! I could understand letting her come back once, but twice!? That should have been the kick to the teeth that you needed to realize that this girl wont stop until shes used you up completely! This girl that I told to fuck off was SO bad that she tried to get with me at her bfs house! I didnt know that they were going out at the time, but if I would have, let me tell you, that bitch woulda been on tha floor cryin! She was tryin to get me back into her little game, WHILE she was cashing out from her boyfriend (he had just bought her an ipod). AND WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE GIVING BACK TO YOU!? A fake 'love'? Buddy, if that 'love' comforts you, you got some problems that we cant help you with. This bitch is taking you for all that you're worth, and you just let her keep coming back. And she now knows that by saying she 'loves' you, shes getting whatever she wants out of you! TWICE! Shes going to get every last drop outta ya unless you stop her RIGHT NOW! If she isnt with you tonite, I bet shes out sleepin with another guy. Oh and she didnt go out with friends on Canada Day. Gaurenteed she was in a backseat, or on a bed, belly up takin it so that she can sucker that guy into giving her what she wants. Shes a taker, not a giver. Think about it. The bitch I knew broke her phone and wanted ME to buy her a new one! Her friends called me and told me that she had a bad family life and that I OWED her a new phone. At the time, she was the one with the job, and I didnt. I had practically no money left, and she was begging me for a $400 phone! You cant put up with that shit! Its like saying "Cut my nuts off please!" Take that skank by the hand, show her where 3rd Ave. is, and tell her she can lay on her back ALL she wants there and she'll make some decent cash. GET HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE!

[JAYMEZ]

Hrmm , I dunno how genuine she is with her feelings , but maybe have a real sit down with her.. Tell her how you feel and how you have trust issues and you want to talk shit out..

Also make sure she knows your the boss of the relationship man , maybe she keeps moving around because your not showing enough muscles in the relationship .. I know how it feels to depend on someone and it feels depressing as hell , but fuck man someone will always have it worse than you..

Its hard but you need to work on yourself and then more ppl will like you and you might meet someone better?

[MrPid]

Originally posted by adam c


see i never went back to her, she came back to me.. sorry if u have never gone through shit like this before and dont know what its like or u wouldnt post shit like this.. like i said in my first post, i dont need to be flamed for writing this. if u dont have anything to contribute execpt kicking me in the face then shut up, seriously.. i had one intention in mind by posting this, not getting sympathy or any other shit, but to find out if anyone else has gone through this and how they got through it.. simple, yea i think so



see, something to actually contribute, not some other crap like the quoted one before.

calling me a chump, thats good on u but how is that going to solve anything, really?

You're not being flamed...trust me on that. If you were being flamed, things a lot more critical than this would be said to you. Think of it not as a kick in the face but rather a slap. And, it sounds to me like you need one to wake you up out of the horrible nightmare you've been living in.

A lot of these posts are conveying similar types of messages if you read between the lines. "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" is another good one somebody wrote... I'm just saying the same thing only a little more directly.

Unfortunately, when you air your grief so publicly and invite opinion, then you are going to get it and not everything people say is going to be palatable. You can expect some of it to strike a nerve or two.

You sound very depressed and a little desperate. That's understandable in your situation. Have you considered seeking the advice of a professional counsellor or such? You might want to go that route. They may be able to give you better advice than a bunch of car nuts. I think there are free counselling services available to you as money is a concern but you will have to let your fingers do the walking to find them out.

[JAYMEZ]

Originally posted by MrPid

You sound very depressed and a little desperate. That's understandable in your situation. Have you considered seeking the advice of a professional counsellor or such? You might want to go that route. They may be able to give you better advice than a bunch of car nuts. I think there are free counselling services available to you as money is a concern but you will have to let your fingers do the walking to find them out.

I think this is great advice , I mean when I broke up with my gf , it was suprising how many people were willing to help me , even alot of the beyonders helped me out .. alot! But I mean if you really need someone to talk to , give me a PM , or you can talk to a counselor , I talked to a counselor when I was going through my bad times , and it really helped.. I learned that in order for others to appreciate me more , I need to appreciate myself more and make me number one in my life , not "her" number one.

If you can achieve that and keep your self distracted then you are already taking a step forward... My goal was to have an 8 pack and just look fuckin amazing so that all the girls will come to me , and I am high onto that road .. and it makes me happy.

Also with making this thread , you have already found your problem , now you just need to solve it and take the step forward.

Remember , bad things are always followed by good things.


p.s I have no idea why the hell I am up at 5:30am.

[abyss]

She's taking advantage of you and you're pratically blind to it. You can take my advice with a grain of salt, but I've seen that game played before, there's nothing more thrilling than having a guy totally devoted to you, however, the thrill wears off, which is why she left. But she missed it so she came back for that thrill again, and then left again. She'll continue until she gets totally bored with you alltogether or something changes ie the money and gifts stop. My advice, get another job, see if your family will lend you some money to get back on your feet and make something of yourself (success is the ultimate revenge). You don't need to buy your girl stuff for her to stay with you, if she really wants you she'll want you in richer AND in poorer... . Find a hobby, something you're heavily interested in will help to keep her off your mind, plus you may learn something valuable at the same time. If it gets really bad talk to a counseller. Cut off all contact with her, she plays this game a lot better than you can ever hope to, she doesn't have feelings that get in the way, and she'll just cause more hurt and cost you more if you continue to communicate with her right now.

[rony_espana]

Originally posted by adam c
alright well these are all valid points, and yea i am young but old enough that i should probably know better...

so in my situation how would u deal with not having her in ur life, the emptiness and lonliness, yea thats what friends are for and work, but they arent there 24/7

If your profile has your correct age, I would not say your young...you should really be mature enough to know what the solution to this problem is. If she already left you twice for another person...do you really think she feel ANYTHING for you at all...this is a no brainer really...just leave her!

[romanianmagic10]

Dude I went trough similar shit well no the same way but the aftermath of the ending and al that stuff. You tend to do a lot of day dreaming and think what it would be like to be alone and all that. I was close to selling my car and getting ready for a condo for me and her lol. Well it didn’t work out and I had to end it. I was left behind wounded. I love going to Tequila on the weekend and I must say the girls there have definitely healed my wounds. Go out slut it up. There is way to many ladies out there. Treat them like a soccer ball you pump em you kick em

T-pain------ I’m sprung ( very good song for your situation)

[Moonracer]

Yeah love is blind and pretty much everyone goes through something like this at least once in their lives. No it's not easy to cut her off and move on because you care about her. But she obviously doesn't care about you if she keeps coming and going. You have to dump her, move on and by all means tell her why. Goodluck

[calgarygts]

Wow, went through this very same thing which all ended up in a big mess for me last summer. I know exactly how you feel, you know deep down what's going on and that it probably isn't right for you to take her back but the heart wants what it wants. You can't really change that part of it.
The advice I would give you is to tell her that she's screwed up too many times and it's never going to work out between you two. You don't have to be a prick, and if you care for her then you won't be. Just be honest. Then COMPLETELY cut her out of your life. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I stopped emails, phone calls, threw out everything associated with her, etc. You'll still think about her a lot (if you're anything like me) but doing this will make it much easier on you. Know that it will be better for you.
I also took up some new sports, and so far I'd have to say rugby has been the best. Tonnes of guys who are always ready to giv'r which really helps a guy in your shoes. Lots of clubs, sports, activities to pick up with all your free time. Oh, and get ready to screw some ladies over (it's inevitable).

[sputnik]

What is with all of these pathetic threads on Beyond lately. You would think that Beyond is full of crybabies that cant get over a girlfriend. Hell, it can be rough but in a day or so use some of that self-confidence that God gave you and MOVE ON.

Lets face it. She sounds like a grade-A bitch. I dont understand why you are crying about it. Do you really want a bitch as a wife? Be thankful its over before it got any worse.

BE A MAN.

[adam c]

Originally posted by sputnik
What is with all of these pathetic threads on Beyond lately. You would think that Beyond is full of crybabies that cant get over a girlfriend. Hell, it can be rough but in a day or so use some of that self-confidence that God gave you and MOVE ON.

Lets face it. She sounds like a grade-A bitch. I dont understand why you are crying about it. Do you really want a bitch as a wife? Be thankful its over before it got any worse.

BE A MAN.

if u dont like them.. dont read them.. some of us dont live in fantasy worlds like some of u.. some of us are real people, and when shit happens to u, thinking u might be some kind of normal human being then ur gonna want to turn to people

[Lex350]

Originally posted by adam c
alright well these are all valid points, and yea i am young but old enough that i should probably know better...

so in my situation how would u deal with not having her in ur life, the emptiness and lonliness, yea thats what friends are for and work, but they arent there 24/7

work, clubs, sports, hobbies...all good distractions and also good places to meet someone else....take your pick. Just keep yourself busy.

[yellowsnow]

buddy, she has no respect for you. PERIOD. She will never have respect for you if you keep taking her back. Why did she break up with you in the first place? Why does she keep coming back? If you think about it, she's only with you because you're there. And she treats you like shit because she knows you'll take her back eventually. What's to stop her from dumping you for another guy again? nothing! Her words are meaningless obviously! How many more times does she have to hurt you before you learn your lesson? 4? 5?

Draw the line. Tell her she screwed up, and there won't be another time and just go your seperate ways. It hurts yeah, but in the long run, you're better off. I can only see your relationship with her getting worse. There's nothing keeping her with you. It sounds like she just wants to have fun and isn't ready for a committment, but likes your company and how you help her out.

Tell her it's through, if you even think about getting back together, remember the hurt she's put you through, and ask yourself if you want to feel that again. I'm sure that feeling is much worse than your feeling of lonliness.

[max_boost]

Originally posted by sputnik
What is with all of these pathetic threads on Beyond lately. You would think that Beyond is full of crybabies that cant get over a girlfriend. Hell, it can be rough but in a day or so use some of that self-confidence that God gave you and MOVE ON.

Lets face it. She sounds like a grade-A bitch. I dont understand why you are crying about it. Do you really want a bitch as a wife? Be thankful its over before it got any worse.

BE A MAN.

While I will your post. Come on man. It's a tough time for the guy. Cut him some slack.

I think everyone has to go through this, I know for a fact it changed me for the better.

[Clever]

You might think that some of the other members reply is too harsh or inappropriate, unfortunately I'm going to have to agree with them, stop being a pussy. Listen, sugar coating the position YOU put yourself in will not make things any better. Would you rather have people patronize you and say the things you would like to hear? In the real world there are people like me that will tell you how it is, TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH, but keep in mind I do not know you, it is unsolicited advice, that applied to myself or others that were in your situation before. If you let her play you then that is your own fault, where you are now in life is an end result to the decisions YOU made, take responsiblity for it and if you don't like it, MAN UP and DO something about it, you probably know this already but you are afraid to admit to it, at the end of the day you we're the one that started a thread about your real life relationship problem I/we are just replying to your thread.

[sputnik]

Originally posted by max_boost
I think everyone has to go through this, I know for a fact it changed me for the better.

I guess thats where I see it. I broke up with a chick that I was dating for over 5 years. Now I am married to the woman of my dreams and look back and realize that breaking up with the other girl was the best decision of my life. It would have been hell had I stayed with her and married her.

However, if I just sat around feeling sorry for myself I would be some single lonely loser.

Short term pain. Long term gain.