Need advice, having first kid

[jf97talon]

Hey guys,

I have mentioned in a few other threads that im going to have my first child.

I am only 19 shes 18.

We just found out yesterday that she is 5 months pregnant already.

We have missed all previous appointments and everything, she had no signs of being pregnant.

I have no clue what to do next.
I just would like some advice to what to do next prior to her having the baby?

Any advice will help
No flaming please this is a serious matter.

Thanks everyone

[Nav13]

hmmm. just a question but didnt she noticed that she hasnt had her rag for more than a month and that could possible mean that shes pregnant.

only advice we can really give you is to be there for the kid and start saving money cause kids arent cheap. Either that or ask your parents for finicial help.

[5hift]

Originally posted by jf97talon
Hey guys,

We just found out yesterday that she is 5 months pregnant already.

Thanks everyone

You mean YOU just found out yesterday that your gf is 5 months pregnant. I have a hard time believing a girl can be 5 months prego and not know. I guess its too far along that the Kengsington Clinic can't solve your problems now, so I wish you good luck. Your life as you know it is over.

Edit: if she waited 5 months to let you know she was pregnant, she could be witholding some other important info... as in if its yours or not.

[yellowsnow]

Well I guess if you haven't already, get a full time job. a baby is expensive and is a huge life long responsibility. Does your parents know about this? they may be mad at first, but once the baby is born that all goes away. they can probably help you two out financially and mentally.

is your GF going to the doctor's regularly to have her baby checked out? If not, make sure she goes asap, get ultasounds done, make sure your gf isn't drinking or doing anything stupid! i hope she hasn't drank any alcohol since she's been pregnant.

how did she not know she was 5 months pregnant??

best of luck to you two... i know a couple girls who got pregnant in high school, and their so called boyfriends fled town.

[jf97talon]

Actually she went back on the pill

And everytime she has in the past she has missed a couple months.
By the time she missed her 3rd month we were freaking and took a home test.

By then its too late for any options. Which we wouldnt consider anyway.

My parents arent fully financially stable to help with anything else.

We both live at home, we are finding a place, im selling my Talon to buy a 4 door. And we need to save up big time.
Its going to be really hard

I just would like some advice on what we should be doing in the last 4 months prior to delivery!?

[Dj Dhaliwal]

how could she not know that she missed her period man?
she prob hid it from u
she prob wants to keep the kid
and she prob wants u to suffer now


congrats ur gonna be a daddy now



no way a girl wouldnt know shes preg.. for 5 months

[jf97talon]

Originally posted by 5hift


You mean YOU just found out yesterday that your gf is 5 months pregnant. I have a hard time believing a girl can be 5 months prego and not know. I guess its too far along that the Kengsington Clinic can't solve your problems now, so I wish you good luck. Your life as you know it is over.

Edit: if she waited 5 months to let you know she was pregnant, she could be witholding some other important info... as in if its yours or not.

We took the home test right before x-mas. Found out she was.

Then went to the kensignton clinic yesterday to find out she was an unbeliviable 20 weeks and it is too late for anything.

[Euro_Trash]

Originally posted by 5hift


I guess its too far along that the Kengsington Clinic can't solve your problems now, so I wish you good luck. Your life as you know it is over.

One of the lowest things I have ever heard on beyond...

Read all of the literature you can find. Don't get in fights with your or her parents because you are going to need them, thats for sure.

[jf97talon]

No guys, no hiding nothing,
I well aware of all that stuff
I have explained the reasoning, just read it prior to posting.

It was a simple miss.
She was one of the lucky few to not have 80% of the signs of pregnancy.

Its all good


I just need advice on what to do for the next 4 months, i.e. doctors what to check for. etc

[yellowsnow]

i'm sure if you go to a doctor, they would know what to check for.

[jf97talon]

Me and her parents get along fine.

Her dad might kill me now.
We have been together for 2 1/2 years now.

We will make it through hopefully without any financial support

However i just dont know what to do now.
We are in the process of calling certain physicians that will take walk-ins this late in the pregnancy.

[Melinda]

First of all, congratulations. Scarry probably, but I believe it'll be worth it for you in the end.

I think I'd sit down with your g/f and have a good talk. Talk about what your expectations are from one another, what your plan is in terms of the future, perhaps marriage, living together, ect. If you aren't going to live together, figure out a custody arrangement, and what your chances are for this relationship to make it all the way. It'll be hard, but I think you guys need some honesty in this situation. Also, figure out finances and how much each of you will be making or if you will be the only one working and then budget what you'll need every month to make this work.

And as a previous poster mentioned, save save save. Some sacrifices will probably need to be made for happiness in the long run, but good luck!

[Dj Dhaliwal]

check with ur family phys.
then get readin on books
chapters and indigo books have good ones
my sis is preg.. and her and my bro in law.. read like krzy amounts of books online.
and they enrolled in soo many classes and etc..
i think they spent like $ 8 g's on baby stuff
like clothes and diapers and car seats and stuff u NEED

[xrayvsn]

I see this every other day. Women dont always know they are pregnant, for a number of different reasons.

To prepare for the next 4 months:

Take a prenatal course with your GF. It will help you prepare for the delivery which can be a bit overwhelming. Buy the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting". It will go through each month and describe all of the common things that a lot of pregnant women experience.

At this point, she will need to find a doctor who will be able to deliver the baby. She will expect to see the doctor once a month until the last couple of months where she will go in every other week, just to make sure the baby is growing ok, and that mom doesn't get high blood pressure.

She probably will get an ultrasound, and some bloodwork.

Enjoy your sleep, since you will be short of it in a few months

[MrPid]

Lots of talk on things too late to do anything about.

This is the "nesting" period. Get a nursery ready, gather clothing together for the baby and other sundries he/she will need.

Save any excess money - you are going to need it later!

You can also go to childbirth prep classes and parenting classes.

[Melinda]

Originally posted by Dj Dhaliwal
i think they spent like $ 8 g's on baby stuff
like clothes and diapers and car seats and stuff u NEED

A lot of stuff can be bought second hand, you can easily get away with spending MUCH less than that. Plus baby showers are GREAT for free baby stuff lol

[jf97talon]

^ Theres no way we can afford that.


I am making about $35,000 /year.

She is making about $20,000 /year.
(gross)

She wont be working, i will be.

We need to pay our normal bills (car payments/insurance/phones/loans)

Then rent, utilities and a kid.

I believe we can have about $12,000 saved if i sell my car and buy a beater.

Not sure how far that will get me, buts its all we can do in the next 4 months.

[yellowsnow]

where will you two be living? you two are young, but once you have the baby, it would be best if you lived together. maybe you need to move in with her parents or vice verca.

you can apply for child support i think through the government, i don't know how you go about doing this though.

good luck man

[Whitetiger]

Congrats on the baby, best of luck!

[wheelz]

Congrats?

Its not totally unheard of for a girl to still have some bleeding in the first months, therefore making it harder to tell they are prego.

Take prenatal classes, get a doctor, save money, read books, Take a first aid course that covers babies.


My other half is a maternity nurse so here is some advice from her. An epidural (pain killer) or C-section, sometimes are necessary. So dont be to rigid in the birth plan( some of the books will tell you to make a birth plan). As well, alot of people dont realize how hard it can be for a new mother to get the baby to breast feed. So formula sometimes needs to be an option, until the baby can start feeding.

Good luck, and quit drinking and smoking, if you did that sort of thing. It will help you save money