To the ASSHAT in our office washroom...

[JRSC00LUDE]

Two questions (because it's gotta be the same loser, I refuse to believe there could be more than one of you retards):

1. How can you consistently manage to stand directly in front of the urinal or toilet to piss and somehow manage to still piss all over the fucking floor? Is your dick really that short that you can't make it all the way or are you just completely retarded?

2. And, how did you manage to take a piss and then get a paper towel to dry your hands off WHEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN TURN ON THE TAPS AND USE THE FUCKING SINK???? THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!

[PINOY-X]

ahahah wow! ,,, i get that at my work too only the this person or these people just dont like to flush!

[avow]

ugh tell me about it, here at my work people must take the most compressed torque fired shits of all time in the public bathrooms... and then leave me to flush it for them

[rage2]

haha. we had a phantom nosepicker in our office... guy laid out new snot plantings daily in the stalls. I figured out who it was via process of elimination, and confirmed it after I sent out an office email threatening DNA sampling (u can get that done for a few grand lol).

Once he quit the job, the nosepickings stopped haha.

[JRSC00LUDE]

Originally posted by rage2
I figured out who it was via process of elimination, and confirmed it after I sent out an office email threatening DNA sampling (u can get that done for a few grand lol).

And if I know you as well I think I do (which I don't haha) you'd likely pony up the $$ and do it just to make an example out of him!

[joyridder]

The womens @ my work is brutally disgusting...so bad that they have to post signs reminding to flush the toilet, wash hands, and dispose of "things' properly instead of leaving them on the floor. One girl in particular in my office, i always get stuck beside her and her biz in the bathroom, Gross!! And knowing she does not wash her hands at all and leaves before me sometimes so I gotta use several paper towel just to get the door open (gag)....

[arian_ma]

Originally posted by JRSC00LUDE


And if I know you as well I think I do (which I don't haha) you'd likely pony up the $$ and do it just to make an example out of him!

And then write it off as "business advancement"

[SCHIDER23]

That is probably one of the things I like were I work everything is automatic no need to flush or even turn on the fusset is all automatic

[Aleks]

Originally posted by SCHIDER23
That is probably one of the things I like were I work everything is automatic no need to flush or even turn on the fusset is all automatic

what about courtesy flushes?

[PINOY-X]

Originally posted by Aleks


what about courtesy flushes?

bahahaha ....

[Schwa]

I hate when you're taking a dump and people don't respect that.

If you walk into a bathroom and someone is pinching a loaf you are supposed to pretend you only want to wash your hands and get the fuck out.

Nothing worse than getting "sidecarred" by another guy who decides to drop one right next to you, and you end up waiting it out cuz I can't take a shit with a guy right next to me.

[nagooro]

Originally posted by Schwa
I hate when you're taking a dump and people don't respect that.

If you walk into a bathroom and someone is pinching a loaf you are supposed to pretend you only want to wash your hands and get the fuck out.

Nothing worse than getting "sidecarred" by another guy who decides to drop one right next to you, and you end up waiting it out cuz I can't take a shit with a guy right next to me.

That post made my day

[rage2]

Originally posted by JRSC00LUDE
And if I know you as well I think I do (which I don't haha) you'd likely pony up the $$ and do it just to make an example out of him!

haha fucking rights! Here's the email I sent out to the entire company distribution list.

Since we’re in a festive mood for reminders, I would like to add one of my own. I dunno where the start stop keep is (yea I’m a horrible manager) so I’ll just send this to all myself. I have no reason to hide on this complaint, as I’m sure I speak for 98% of the males on the 8th floor.

As you all know, we have a “phantom nosepicker” here on the 8th floor at Replicon. According to my CSI skills, this gentleman has been working at Replicon for at least 18 months now. He picks his nose and wipes it on the walls of the 8th floor male washroom. It’s disgusting, and really unnecessary, as the effort to grab some paper towels or toiler paper literally takes an additional 10 seconds of their time, so it’s no excuse. The building people have washed the walls off once a month, and the random snot, sometimes with traces of blood and nose hairs, always comes back. It’s very disturbing especially for any new employees.

I have collected a sample for potential DNA analysis. Yes, there are local places that do this with a 2 day turnaround. It costs $300 per sample to find a match, and I will personally pay out of my pocket to find the culprit if this habit does not stop because Replicon is my second home, and it’s like wiping snot on the walls of my house.

So please, phantom nosepicker, I know you’re reading this. If it doesn’t stop, I’m sure the rest of the male population on the 8th floor here will gladly submit a hair sample for analysis to find who the culprit is.

Got quite a few laughs out of it haha. I think I made a thread on beyond asking about DNA testing, and surprisingly, a bunch of ppl pointed me in the right direction haha.

[sputnik]

Originally posted by Schwa
I hate when you're taking a dump and people don't respect that.

If you walk into a bathroom and someone is pinching a loaf you are supposed to pretend you only want to wash your hands and get the fuck out.

Nothing worse than getting "sidecarred" by another guy who decides to drop one right next to you, and you end up waiting it out cuz I can't take a shit with a guy right next to me.

Very true. There are two stalls so that we have selection... not someone riding shotgun.

[D'z Nutz]

Originally posted by rage2
haha fucking rights! Here's the email I sent out to the entire company distribution list.

<snip>

Haha, that's fucken hilarious! Haha


I can't stand the motherfucker who can't be bothered to flush. God damn, that'd disgusting. Or the fucker that can be bothered to flush, but manages to clog up the toilet so nobody else can

[BerserkerCatSplat]

Originally posted by Schwa
I hate when you're taking a dump and people don't respect that.

If you walk into a bathroom and someone is pinching a loaf you are supposed to pretend you only want to wash your hands and get the fuck out.

Nothing worse than getting &quot;sidecarred&quot; by another guy who decides to drop one right next to you, and you end up waiting it out cuz I can't take a shit with a guy right next to me.

Please direct your attention to this thread:

http://forums.beyond.ca/st/34495/how-to-poop-at-work/

[BigMass]

Speaking of office shitting, if i had to take a shit at work i'd drive home, take a dump, then drive back into downtown and pay another $23 to park because there's NO WAY i'm taking a shit in a public washroom. (Hotels excluded)

I have a hard enough time taking a piss at work. I have to use a stall because I don’t want some dude to come in and start taking a piss in the bowl next to me, rubbing shoulders and talking about last nights “game” while I have my cock in my hand.

Oh, and nothing beats walking into a stall full of fresh rotten smelling diarrhea because the asshole before you couldnt flush the fucking toilet.

[viff3r]

Originally posted by D'z Nutz

Or the fucker that can be bothered to flush, but manages to clog up the toilet so nobody else can

Sometimes that can't be helped. Some of us manly men have fat turdz y0

[bobby_lu]

Our auto flushers have a seperate button on the side that say "courtesy flush" on them haha

[Schwa]

Do you guys stand up to courtesy flush or just twist around and fucking pull the lever? The problem with office toilets is that mine are so powerful that I end up getting shitty poop water all over my bare ass and its fucking disgusting.

On the plus side, my office toilets are SO powerful that they pretty much will take anything down - much like a 1st year college girl from out of state.