What's with Calgary!?

[4doorj]

Originally posted by max_boost


I am suspicious of this post because normally that's not how you write! haha

haha yeah the last section of picking up girls at the mall was a joke.... hahahha
The rest is true!

But when you do have a kid you do have to compromise. One reason why I sold my s2000 No time for it. But at least I still have lots of fun with my lancer.

[Melinda]

Gah, the whole "your life is over when you get married" argument bugs me, it really really bugs me. Truth be told, my life hasn't changed on iota since I got married (at 21 no less). My husband is my best friend and we do a lot together. All the things that the pro-single life side are saying are important to do before you settle down, we did together. When we got married, the only thing that changed was my last name. We still had our same friends, our same routines, our same activites (both together and separeately).

We had our son when I was 24 and he was 29. So far, it's great. Sure, you have to slow down the pace of your life for a bit, but the older he gets, the more things seem to pick back up again. I don't consider my life to be 'over', 'wasted' or 'passing me by', it's just different than it was before.

So yeah, when you know you're ready, you know. And someone who's not ready won't really ever understand someone who is until they're at that point in their life as well.

[B4tMan]

Originally posted by you&me
3. Get a pet rock

MMM you can eat ketchup with fries off of it, Joe Dirt style

jokes aside, what can you expect :
1. Buy House
2. Get Married
3. Have Kids
typical boring conventional lifestyle. add golf, curling, mandatory resort in spanish colonies ...

[dannie]

For me, the issue is the social stigma that comes along with age. For both men and women.

If you are a guy who has lived the bachelor lifestyle until you are 37, a womans first thought is: whats wrong with him.

If you are a woman who lived a bachelorette lifestyle until you are 37, a mans first thought is: crazy cat lady.

If you aren't married with kids by a certain age, it is viewed as wrong. There is a certain expectation to conform to what society sees as normal. There is a lot of pressure to do what everyone else does. Its all about keeping up with the Jones.

That all being said, once you get over the fact that everyone will have their opinion (and voice it), you will be fine. For example, my husband and I are both professionals and own our own businesses. Our issue is that our businesses are not in the same city and neither of us has the ability to move. So we have a home in Edmonton and a home in Calgary. We both plan our lives in advance due to this. We sit down for an evening and plan the upcoming month around who is travelling to Calgary or Edmonton. It works for us. We are with each other at least four days a week and we both have the luxury of having msn on our computers throughout the day, so the first thing we both do in the morning is log in and turn our webcams on. He is on my computer screen for 9-10 hours a day while I am working. It is not the most conventional or ideal situation, but it works. We get harassed about it constantly because it doesn't fit what society sees as normal.

We have also made the decision to not have kids. We have been together for 7 years now and are sticking with that choice. We are both too selfish to have them. But friends and family are always asking when we will be having kids. When people find out that we dont want them, its like they are shocked. From there people poke and prod to find out why, like we are crazy to not want it.

To be able to live outside the social normalcy, you have to be strong and confident. You have to be able to hold your own and know that what you are doing is right for YOU.

[SilverGS]

So OP,

Given all the comments do you have any changes in your thinking?

Sounds like most people are of the same mind. Do what is good for you whether its traveling the world or settling down and having a family.

[R-Audi]

I'll be the first to admit when some of my friends started settling down it scared the shit out of me! Always . I always thought would end up being the crazy single 'Uncle' to my friends kids. (I guess I should add that Im now 29)
Well...... things havea way of changing on you! Met a girl I am crazy about... and now Im getting married in October. Can't say it was in my 'plan' but when you meet that person you KNOW you want to spend the rest of your life with (frick.. thats cheesy.. did I just say that?!?) things just fall into place. We've lived together for about a year now, dating for two, known each other since high school and I cant say other then the trips to the bar on the weekend with just the guys, that anything has changed that much. We go out both as a couple and seperately.. and enjoy both!
Right now I can't say that I want Children right away... but as with the above.. things change. Priorities change.. and life changes!

I've done lots of travelling (26 Countries I beleive?) Own a house.. and I will say that I've enjoyed my teens-Twenties! Would I be married if my fiancee and I started dating 3 or 4 years earlier? Probably not.. but its all a matter of timing.. and to be honest.. if the right person comes around... you can't (and really I dont want to) tell them that they arent in your plan... things change and you just have to be open to that.

[hampstor]

Owned my first home at 23, married at 25, first child at 28.

I didn't do things according to a 'plan' or because of peer pressure. It was just the right time. I try not to make too many firm longterm plans with my life since i may be potentially setting myself up for disappointment.

[ringer]

All of those things are a personal choice.

My theory is some insecure people have to be the first to do things or have to follow what they are "supposed" to do.. Which is why some of your friends may be incredibly unhappy...
For example to be the first one to have sex or the first to have a place or the first to be engaged, I just find I see this a lot..

Personally I am in a comfortable relationship where we live together and are 20-30 but I couldn't imagine planning a wedding for next year or having a child on the way..
Personally I want to grow in my career and move to different cities with my significant other, not married, just together. Experience life and make the most of my youth while it's still here.
Marriage is just a clarification that the relationship is a lifetime commitment.
But if you both know that it is then what's the rush.

And I can no agree enough with being financially ready before having a planned child. If it's not planned thats another story. Another theory.. I think some people have children because they are bored with the marriage?.. another brutal thing to do.

Maybe I'm way off.
I just think don't rush life, things will happen when they happen.

[masoncgy]

Originally posted by ringer
I just think don't rush life, things will happen when they happen.

Exactly!

Alberta, as a whole, is a very traditional/family oriented province. It should come as no surprise that most people living here see home ownership, marriage & children as the main priorities in their lives.

I moved here when I was 20 and I am 30 today... what I saw over the years was a distinct split in the majority of the young people I have known over the years... we partied hard together, but some people decided that Calgary & it's lifestyle wasn't for them, and moved on to travel the world, live in more cosmopolitan centres, or returned back to their rural lives. The remainder of us have stayed in Calgary, purchasing homes, settling down with our spouses & having kids.

People change as they mature. What seemed like something one wanted nothing to do with at age 20, it becomes something one desires at age 25 or 30. For some, it's owning a home and raising a family... for others, it's travelling the world, partying their faces off, and so forth.

Calgary is a pretty family oriented city, especially for it's size. I don't think it should be a surprise that the main things people want here are a home & a family... it's exactly the crowd that Calgary caters to.

[speedog]

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First post here and am quite amused by this thread. Soon to be 48, slightly younger wife (5.5 years) and married 19 years. 3 kids (boys 17 and 15, girl 10). Worked for a large international corporation for 26.5 years before resigning and now own our own business.

Is there a right age to get married, have kids, get a house? No. Ya do what feels right to you. Make sure the own you settle down with is the right one - don't go on for years basically living as two singles together. Have seen too many do this and then get separated/divorced when the kids are 7-11 years old. Know your mate well - be each other's soul mates.

Owning house - do it if that's what you want. Know many that have rented all their lives - never had to deal with the major maintenance headaches. Some were able to invest and come out ahead as compared to owning but most just pissed away any extra monies they had. Equity, though, is a wonderful thing - allowed us to be our own bankers when we bought our business.

Kids - lotsa fun, but there is no right age that I will say you should have them. Know ppl who had them in the teens or early 20's, know ppl who had them in their 50's. Many plusses and minuses for any age with respect to having kids. Having them early can crimp what you could have done when you were young, quite fit and most likely quite a bit more fearless. Having them in your 30's will ensure that you may not be physically or mentally welll enough to keep up to them in your 50's. Having them in your 40's & 50's - crazy in my mind.

Do what feels right for you, but don't be so critical of what others are doing. Certainly if you leave finding that soul mate until you're in your late 30' - 40's will ensure a good variety of used goods to peruse along with the baggage that often comes with those used goods.

Me - married at 28, first house at 29, first kid at 30, last kid at 37, 26.5 year career followed by a new career now in our own business. Had some fun cars and motorbikes when I was single (got ones that are fun to me now too), did lots of crazy physical stuff when I was in my early 20's and am enjoying being a kid with my kids now. Do know that my body now couldn't take what I did to it in my 20's - either mentally or physically and I've never smoked, entertained drugs or alcohol to any great lengths. Just a fact of life - aging slows ya down, even got the progressive glasses a couple of years ago and that what great. Everything has felt right all along the way and can't be critical of what others have done in their life and at what stages.

Do what's right for you and be happy for those that are doing what they feel is right for them.

Wow, my first post from just over eleven and a half years ago and now beyond just doesn't feel like a place for me anymore. To be honest, I just don't feel like I provide any worthwhile input here anymore or at least input that has any value to most that are active here. My past posts, they'll remain - hell, there's a few members who still feel the need to neg rep ancient posts of mine and make nasty remarks at the same time so what the hell, who am I to deprive them of getting their rocks off on anonymously dissing me.

In closing things up, I've met very few of you in person over the years but the ones I have seem like good peeps. There are some that I haven't met that I wish I would've had the chance to meet but fate just hasn't seen that to be yet. Never the less, maybe I'll find myself back here in the future or maybe not - could get hit by a truck tomorrow ya know.

Anyhow, ciao.

[firebane]

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Wow, my first post from just over eleven and a half years ago and now beyond just doesn't feel like a place for me anymore. To be honest, I just don't feel like I provide any worthwhile input here anymore or at least input that has any value to most that are active here. My past posts, they'll remain - hell, there's a few members who still feel the need to neg rep ancient posts of mine and make nasty remarks at the same time so what the hell, who am I to deprive them of getting their rocks off on anonymously dissing me.

In closing things up, I've met very few of you in person over the years but the ones I have seem like good peeps. There are some that I haven't met that I wish I would've had the chance to meet but fate just hasn't seen that to be yet. Never the less, maybe I'll find myself back here in the future or maybe not - could get hit by a truck tomorrow ya know.

Anyhow, ciao.

Uh you ok there?

Pretty dramatic

[The_Rural_Juror]

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Wow, my first post from just over eleven and a half years ago and now beyond just doesn't feel like a place for me anymore. To be honest, I just don't feel like I provide any worthwhile input here anymore or at least input that has any value to most that are active here. My past posts, they'll remain - hell, there's a few members who still feel the need to neg rep ancient posts of mine and make nasty remarks at the same time so what the hell, who am I to deprive them of getting their rocks off on anonymously dissing me.

In closing things up, I've met very few of you in person over the years but the ones I have seem like good peeps. There are some that I haven't met that I wish I would've had the chance to meet but fate just hasn't seen that to be yet. Never the less, maybe I'll find myself back here in the future or maybe not - could get hit by a truck tomorrow ya know.

Anyhow, ciao.

I know how ya feel. Love reading your comments on r/Calgary. I don't know how the rep power system adds value.

[Disoblige]

Beyond definitely has evolved over the years.
People come and go. Key thing on longevity here is to be authentic if you can but at the same time not take things too seriously. I do shake my head at the neg reps, especially anonymous ones. It would be neat if positive and negative reps automatically showed who did it.

[The_Rural_Juror]

You deserve to be negged for catfishing people with that avatar.

[Disoblige]

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You deserve to be negged for catfishing people with that avatar. ;rofl:

Hey, I follow my idol Zephyr

[Buster]

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You deserve to be negged for catfishing people with that avatar.

You also deserve it.

[roopi]

Where do you even see neg/pos reps?

[msommers]

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Hey, I follow my idol Zephyr

Zephyr was, and always will be, a hot single female.

[killramos]

Speedog will have forgotten he quit by tomorrow

[max_boost]

These old threads should be automatically closed lol