Official Short-term Investments Thread

[ExtraSlow]

I usually rate myself reasonably highly on the "financial knowledge" scale, but I understood less than 25% of that. Guess I'll stick to basic shit like buying stock in companies I want to own and leave the rest to y'all.

[ercchry]

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I usually rate myself reasonably highly on the "financial knowledge" scale, but I understood less than 25% of that. Guess I'll stick to basic shit like buying stock in companies I want to own and leave the rest to y'all.

That’s not have you get tendies bro!!!

[ExtraSlow]

I also don't know what tendies are. Is that some kinda Instagram thing? Fuck I am old.

[max_boost]

I'm with ExtraSlow lol I'll just stick to the basics and only risk what I have. You guys talking all advanced level Billions lingo.

[The_Rural_Juror]

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I usually rate myself reasonably highly on the "financial knowledge" scale, but I understood less than 25% of that. Guess I'll stick to basic shit like buying stock in companies I want to own and leave the rest to y'all.

Dont worry. The 25% of it is probably the only part that makes sense.

[The_Rural_Juror]

Allow my autism to contribute by translating 1 month old options trader wallstreet bro here.

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He had written contracts, aka sold them. This is some lvl 3 options shit, this requires margin.

Levels 1 to 4 are option approval levels granted to you. Higher levels = Riskier contracts.



When you buy a contract, your risk is the losing the premium that you paid for it. When you sell (write) a contract, your risk could be the entire market value of the option (if selling a call) or theoretically unlimited (if selling a put). If you are buying, you are in a "long" position. If you are selling, you are in a "short" position. As you can see, you are allowed to write Covered Calls in Level 1. This is "safer" because you already own the stocks that you writing calls on. As you lose money on the call options, you gain on the underlying stocks that you own (it's not 1:1 but I need to clean more Haskayne toilets to get into that).

no 0DTE buying, and if you write contracts you must also buy the opposite contract (ie put vs call) you cannot exit the written contracts till you sell the covered buy... so no naked sells... naked sell on margin is when you can get a deep fucking.

0 Day To Expiry (DTE) are options that have an expiry date of less than one day. If you are long, you are buying bargain basement contracts hoping that the prices jump significantly in the trading session. If you are short, you are betting that doesn't happen and want to make a few extra dollars. Both valid strategies if you know what you are doing.

"Naked sells" means you are writing a contract without an offsetting position to limit your losses (ie. opposite of the Covered Call scenario above). Naked sell on margin...isn't the leverage that you are probably thinking. Every time you write an option, you are required to post margin (or collateral). This is a percentage of your position. If your position worsens to a certain point, you could get a "margin call" - basically the broker wants you to put more cash in your account against potential losses. Many brokers don't do that anymore and just sell your position when you are at the margin call level.

"Deep fucking" to me is when my bidet sprays right into the bullseye. Wallstreet bros have a much deeper interpretation.

Robin Hood since this has said they will restrict people from higher levels till proof of education, which is good

Education means little in trading. That's why you have Wallstreet bros spouting nonsense lining up to lick the nut sack of the one teenager who turned 300 into 9999999999 tendies overnight. Do you even CFA/FRM/CCCP, bro?

This also probably doesn’t effect many people in Canada as most will be using a registered account, which is cash

Registered account in Canada refers to TFSA, RRSP, LIRA, etc. You could write options in some accounts, but CRA will "deep fucking" you if you make too many transactions as those are supposed to be "savings and investment" accounts rather than "trading" accounts.

iron condors, which means no way to beat those damn broomsticks on witching weeks

Iron Condor is a trading strategy composed of two spreads (4 options) with the payoff diagram looking like a bird.



"Witching weeks" means days where you have the regular options expiry dates lineup for multiple exchanges. Yesterday was a "quadruple witching" where you have a gangbang of options expiry dates. Volatility and volume tends to be higher on those dates. However, it isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be if you already have a good strategy.

strangle broken even after taking a pounding on decay Wednesday/Thursday due to that flat fuckening

"Strangle" is another options strategy where you buy an out of the money (OTM) call and an OTM put because you don't know where the flat fuckening market is headed but think it's going to go somewhere magnificently like the diarrhea out of your asshole. The market has to move enough to cover the premiums that you paid on both options in order for you to make tendies - which is /r/wsb talk for ten dollar bills...or chicken tenders depending who you talk to.

"Decay" is time decay or "Theta". You lose a bit of value of the option as time approaches expiry if you are in a long position.

Basically buddy here didn't know where the market was headed, so he tried to play both sides because of he thought that he was going to get gangbanged by four Hermiones on Friday. So he bought short time to expiry options because long expirations are expensive. Friday came and went without the expected volatility and volume, so he was left holding a "flat fuckening" broomstick dildo as his two options expired worthless.

Hope that was helpful. Now I will return to cleaning skidmarks at the Geology faculty. Dumb jocks...

[BavarianBeast]

You forgot to explain tendies. They’re the most expensive item on the fast food menu, which becomes affordable once you trade stonk options. If you don’t trade options you can usually only afford nuggets.

Hope that helps.

[killramos]

Confirm nugget eater here

[ercchry]

Oh good, I have picked up on the new language sufficiently

I must say a lot has changed since I gave it up after 2015’s “oil is totally going to be a v-recovery” BS... last banger... err... tendie I scored was a gold play during brexit!

[BavarianBeast]

Holly Madison is in. Tendies for the bulls next week

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetb...on_says_bulls/

[The_Rural_Juror]

I better ask my mom for an advance on my allowance so that I can put more 0DTE strangles on.

[ercchry]

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I better ask my mom for an advance on my allowance so that I can put more 0DTE strangles on.

I’m not going to let you shame me into being a “responsible” “investor” ... it’s 2020, bullying is wrong mmmmkay

And for the record it was a 3.5 day strangle that went sideways... the 0DTE put did save me though... well would have, sold early... again

[The_Rural_Juror]

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You forgot to explain tendies.

I did, but I understand that you have the attention span of poultry from all the tendies you have been eating.

[The_Rural_Juror]

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bullying is wrong mmmmkay

That's what your brokerage account is trying to tell you.

[BavarianBeast]

You guys actually read posts on this forum?

[ercchry]

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You guys actually read posts on this forum?

Only if they have small words in them... I read like I trade

[killramos]

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You guys actually read posts on this forum?

I didn’t realize anyone on this forum could read...

[max_boost]

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Allow my autism to contribute by translating 1 month old options trader wallstreet bro here.

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You guys actually read posts on this forum?

I read all that but I didn't understand very much lol but it was funny. The_Rural_Juror has much to be proud of. What a gem of a poster.

[ercchry]

I wish suntan would just start posting from his primary account again... or is suntan his alt account???

[bjstare]

I love this thread. Like every 6 months another wannabe finance hardo comes out of the woodwork. They never seem to last though; I assume it's because they all become too wealthy to waste time posting here, and are spending all their time partying with Dan Bilzerian.