Asian female thing?

[RedDawn]

I had a conversation with a friend the other day and she thinks her husband should appreciate her more, solely for the fact that she's working. This is in comparison to two other couples she's aware of where the wives aren't working. These stay at home wives (no kids yet) don't cook or clean and stay home all day doing....I'm not sure what they do.

Her main argument is this:

"Those stay at home wives stay at home all day and their husband's treat them just as nice, if not nicer, than my husband treats me. I think I deserve some appreciation just because I'm not like one those girls and am actually busting my ass off in the workforce. I've talked with my other (asian) working girlfriends and they all agree our significant others should appreciate us more for the fact that we're working"

My response:

"I don't think you deserve any extra appreciation just for the fact that you're working. A woman with a job these days is pretty much standard and one of the reasons your husband married you is because you are the type that works. In the same way you wouldn't think it's fair if he brought home a man from the homeless shelter and told you how much you should appreciate him because he's not like this homeless man, you recieving extra appreciation just because you work isn't justified."

Her response:
"A working husband is a set standard though, but a working wife isn't. Therefore, your husband-bum analogy doesn't hold up, but mine still does. A woman deserves credit for working."

She thinks our differing views is based on the fact that I was raised in a western society and she was raised primarily in an asian culture. She thinks western husbands don't place any extra value on their wives working, but asian societies do.

To the asians on here, what's your opinion on this? Anyone else from any other culture, please chime in with your viewpoints as I'm curious to see different culture's opinions on this matter.

Do working wives deserve extra credit simply for the fact that they're working, when compared to stay at home wives? This is relating strictly to stay-at-home WIVES and not MOMs. As in newlyweds - no kids yet.

[buh_buh]

She is out to lunch. If women want equality, there should be no double standards. Since when was having a job deserving of extra appreciation?

[DeeK]

Well I can't chime in about the whole Asian culture thing because I'm white.


However. Women will be women. Most of the time anyways :P
Women will always bitch about being treated like equals, regardless if they are feminists or not. Yet when they perform as an equal member of society/workplace/home they will whine that they should receive extra appreciation for these tasks.


Just my opinion/experiences.

[KrisYYC]

Depends, if she's working AND still doing all of the domestic stuff I can see why she's frustrated.

The two other couples she's talking about must be white, only white North American males are pussified and whipped enough to work their ass off so wifey can stay at home and do nothing.

[maxomilll]

yeaaaah thats a bunch O

I agree you should treat your significant other with much respect and appreciation regardless. Wife or husband.
It's about equality, drop these double standards.

[LongCity]

From what I know, older Asian tradition has it that women cater to the men. Maybe you should tell her to ask her mom what she had to do for her dad, or better yet, ask her grandma. I find it funny how she gets this feeling of self entitlement cause she has a... job?! Unless her husband is a millionaire or better, she should do work, son! Also, tell her that her analogy doesn't work either because we are no longer in the generation she is referring to.

[Vince1]

By old school Eastern standards, it is what it is. Over here it's a load of crap. My GF is Asian, works full time, goes to school, gym, yoga, etc. and she doesn't want anything "extra" for it. Appreciation should be equal and reciprocal.

[spikerS]

i would say he appreciates her, and showed it by marrying her. If she decided to quit her job and stay home all day, I would think he would show his appreciation of that by kicking her to the curb, forcing her to get a job again to find a place to live.

vicious cycle no?

[Cos]

sounds like she would be a pain in the ass

[topmade]

Her response:
"A working husband is a set standard though, but a working wife isn't. Therefore, your husband-bum analogy doesn't hold up, but mine still does. A woman deserves credit for working."

Sorry ma'am, but this IS a set standard in Canada and has been for a while now.

To each and their own, I married my wife because she's hard working. She watches the kids in the day, goes to school in the evenings and works on the weekends sometimes. She's self reliant and pulls her weight very well. I don't like useless women and wouldn't of married her if she wanted to stay at home and do nothing. We are both asian, I came here when I was 3 and she came here in her 20's from China, so she was pretty traditional. I would say those wives and/or husbands came from rich spoiled families. We know of one couple where the husband is a relator who makes alright money, but the wife stays home and does shit all. She stays at home and trims the plants and flowers and has naps during the day because it's so exhausting. They have a kid, but she's in her teens already. My "traditional" wife calls her useless and I tell her if she's ever like that, she can GTFO haha.

[lelalong]

What is she expecting for extra appreciation? Gifts?

I'm a working asian female and never would I think this. I prefer to be self-reliant and work as hard as my parents did. I don't understand women who stay at home if there's no kids and don't do anything at home. Why would a guy want someone unless like that? Some women really have the bar set that low? (From some of the other threads, guys seem to end up with these winners... )

It honestly annoys me when I hear a co-worker wishing she had a sugardaddy so she could stay home.

Not all women are losers demanding material appreciation. I know lots of them! Funny how they are the ones who have a hard time finding a decent guy.

[UndrgroundRider]

Originally posted by RedDawn
She thinks our differing views is based on the fact that I was raised in a western society and she was raised primarily in an asian culture. She thinks western husbands don't place any extra value on their wives working, but asian societies do.

I'm not asian, but I work for a ton of asian owned small businesses, and I've travelled throughout asia. The wives always work.

Sounds like this girl has had a spoiled upbringing.

[codetrap]

I think it's a useless tit thing. If she's griping about appreciation now, he's not beating her often enough.

[rage2]

Originally posted by Cos
sounds like she would be a pain in the ass

Sounds like your typical asian bitch.

[Supa Dexta]

I'll want my wife to stay home with the kids, but not before.

[n1zm0]

Originally posted by KrisYYC
only white North American males are pussified and whipped enough to work their ass off so wifey can stay at home and do nothing.

+1 on this imo, this stay at home wife thing is a load of shit, you both do your part in the breadwinnings, this is a by-product of the 50's american perfect family BS i think, where this WAS the norm, i mean back then women in the workforce #s was significantly less that it is now, why did they fight for all those rights in the 60s-70s.. the concept of 'equal pay for equal work' for women was for shits and giggles?..

[D'z Nutz]

Bottom line: she sounds lazy with a sense of entitlement while fishing for new LV.

If anything, she should appreciate her husband more for not making her work like they do in the motherland


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[Vince1]

Originally posted by D'z Nutz
Bottom line: she sounds lazy with a sense of entitlement while fishing for new LV.

If anything, she should appreciate her husband more for not making her work like they do in the motherland


» Click image for larger version

Jesus Christ that looks brutal

[snoop101]

My fiance is Viet and she has been working since she moved to Canada. I dont think she would even want to stay home everyday.

As for the whole culture thing I could understand that, but also back in the 40's-60's here in North America it was somewhat normal for the wife to stay home, but the woman worked her ass off and it was somewhat of the norm to have 5-8 kids.

I do agree that asian women show more appriciation then lets say white women, but I think men who are with asian tend to appriciate and respect them more (im talking about FOB's, not the stuck up north americanized asians). My fiance does all the cleaning in the house and I cook and look after the outdoor/car stuff. We know what needs to be done and know the other will do it.


On a side note I wonder if this chick pleases her man. Most chicks that are stay at home women usually are with older/fatter/nerdy/rich men and the women have to put out daily (i swear this is a fact or so it seems lol )

[Masked Bandit]

Man I can't stand Princesses like that. Just wait until she actually pops out a couple rug rats. She'll be screaming for a nanny & maid.