Official Kijiji Funnies Thread

[ddduke]

Originally posted by adidas
http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-real-esta...AdIdZ344779519

We need only ONE person to get pics for us. INB4 we are disappointed

I'll get some, already replied:

Hey,
We have some extra room and would be willing to let you stay here in exchange for 2 weekly cleanups. Only catch is you need to send us a picture of yourself. If you"re interested reply with a picture and a bit more info about yourself. thanks

[Jsen-DC2]

http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ345351227

one pic is a rc car, cant speak english too lol

[xnvy]

Just see for yourself. http://toronto.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ344273406

[dexlargo]

^

Had to save it for posterity (you're welcome for not preserving the fonts):

Date Listed 08-Jan-12
Price $5,500.00
Address Concord, ON L4K 5H5, Canada
Make Volvo
Model S40
Trim Tubo
Year 2001
Kilometers 226000
Body Type Sedan
Transmission Automatic
Colour Yellow
Drivetrain Front-wheel drive (FWD)

Description

2001 Volvo S40 Turbo.Automatic, 226,000 km. This 1 of a Kind Volvo you haven't ever seen before, runs like new, fully loaded with leather seating, many upgrades installed. Winter and Summer Rims (Ferrari) and tires included, upgraded Stereo with Blue-tooth tech. HID headlight conversion included, Neon lights under car kit installed. Tinted Windows. Limited Edition. Original Paint.No Rust. Please call me 416-XXX-XXXX for more information.

I bet those horns sound awesome! I bet they play a tune - La Cucaracha perhaps?

[xnvy]

^ or maybe some FnF music lol. That makes me sad because I quite like the S40. I just 'd myself again because I just noticed the massive Ferrari decal on the roof. What makes it even more sad is he's probably around 18 years old, just like me.

[Mckenzie]

I've had a lot of funnies on Kijiji, but nothing beat this one which was for a guitar I was looking to get around $500 for....check out the last item he offers.

Hi would you take $200 plus a couple items for trade?

I have these items and more for trade:
- Demarini White Steele Softball bat (worth around $170, used 1 season)
- Demarini FV4 Softball bat (worth about $190, only .5 season old)
- New & Wrapped softballs in two sizes
- Portable Sony DVD player with remote (power button doesn't work, but you can still turn on via the remote, was $300 new about 2 years ago)
- portable free standing punching bag
- several Xbox 360 games
- EFX Power Bands (only have size medium, in black or white, these are new. Worth $35ea, I have lots of these)
- bb gun (i can send pics)
- belt buckles
- coffee makers
- blackberry pearl with charger
- basically new micro fibre couch (brown, worth about $200)
- Black Epiphone acoustic guitar with pick up ( $350) and hard case
- new work 'bump' hat (never worn)
- 2 laptop hard drives (120 gig)
- wheel barrow
- large 'rabbit or small animal' cage

Thanks for your consideration,

Take care and talk soon

[Tomaz]

Ok, that is mint. hahaha

That's one way to clean out the closet.

[black300]

^ HAHA!

Try getting all those items and the $200 cash, sell the items afterwards you might make more then your asking for.

[ddduke]

http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-buy-and-s...AdIdZ353612270

typical ad to come out of the NE

[bourge73]

<http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ353662011>

Olds race car...

[1JZ-Soarer]

http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-real-esta...AdIdZ355075914

Your Worst (Best?) Room-Mate Ever
Watch | Share | Print | Report Ad


Date Listed 14-Feb-12
Price $500.00
Address Pineridge, Calgary, AB, Canada
View map
Furnished No
Pet Friendly Yes




I am a smoker, pet owner and an alcoholic. I play video games when I'm not working or drinking or trying to have kinky sex with whom I most deem fit . I can pay my way each and every month, my business is mine, your business is yours. If this is something you are looking for- mail me. Please keep your critisisms to yourself if you are without sin. Thank you.

[AndyL]

http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ355071148

Date Listed 14-Feb-12
Last Edited 14-Feb-12
Price Free
Address Calgary, AB, Canada
View map
For Sale By Owner
Make Other
Model Other
Year 1979
Kilometers 250
couch with skiiiiiiiiiiii's:

Let me first introduce Ol' Sneer the couch. She was born on a frosty eve much like this. Many moons ago she had a home with a family that loved her dearly. But one day she was abandoned by the ones she loved the most. For years she passed hands as a slave hopping from place to place. Being used and abused, losing a little bit of herself everyday. Just when she had lost all hope a man came along and set her free. This man was me, I was going through a rough patch in my life and was desperately looking for a companion. Who knew I would find it in a couch. I felt the Sneer needed a new look so I attached some of the best ski's money could buy to her under carriage. She was reborn, now a feisty snow bullet with a need for speed. She loves when the wind gently kisses every stitch on her saggy body. Long story short, She forever changed my life and now it is time for me to pass on the torch. Are you up for the challenge? To the first person to bring me a 8 pack of beer the Ol' Sneer is yours. This moment is yours!
Mreh!!
The dude.

[Hallowed_point]

http://alberta.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ357347666

[darthVWader]

Sweet trailer lol
http://bc.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-...AdIdZ308876588

[Unknown303]

Awesome R32 Skyline for sale!

http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ357682528

This is my Skyline. This motherfcker is the Nissan God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.

Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.

Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has both. Oh look at me, I like to listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet I6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.

This car has got a colorful momo steering wheel (b*tches love colors) Its a 5 speed so you cant talk on the cell while playing gameboy and smoking pot.

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.

I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.

- Quick list of what its got going on:

- RB20DET - twin-cam turbocharged (158 kW (215 PS) @ 6400 264 N·m (27.0 kgf·m) @ 3200 rpm)

- engine was change 48 000 km ago by auto dream in calgary
- walbro fuel injection mod
- pinched and crushed Hks blow off valve
- HKS turbo timer (running 14 psi of boost )
- Greddy front mount inter-cool with silicone hosing
- A/C pump and hosing mod
- Cat back Greddy exhaust
- brand new battery
- Dual flexlite rad fans with external and auxiliary heat pick up
- brembo slotted brakes
- collapsible mirrors
- type M body kits
- Gtr hood
- Riax 17" rims
- Momo racing wheel
- Clarion touchscreen deck
- 2 x 8" subs with 600 watts amp
- active speakers
- spotless interior 9 never smoked in
- skyline floor mats

Bought this vehicle a short while ago for 6500 and parked it in the back yard, I'm asking 5000 for it would go down to 4800 if prompt pick up can be arranged.

Looking to get a cash offer or trade depending on what you got, send pics. The reason I'm selling it is because my dad isn't a big fan of RHD's and no longer wants me to keep it ): no tire kickers and only serious buyers will be considered. Only serious buyer will be emailed also.

Its got a stage 3 clutch that was very, very pricey!! I also have a extra race ECU laying around that will add a 100 horsepower increase to the car, normally these run for about a grand or two. NOTE: I HAVE THE SKYLINE LEFT SIGNAL, ITS CHILLING IN MY TRUNK.

[triplep]

Originally posted by Hallowed_point
http://alberta.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ357347666

Is that a RHD? I thought RHD cars had to be over 15 years old to be legally imported/ registered in Canada..... but maybe I am wrong...

[adidas]

^^ "Kit" cars dont fall under that rule

[xnvy]

Originally posted by bourge73
&lt;http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ353662011&gt;

Olds race car...

I'd buy it but I doubt I could handle all the power.

[bourge73]

<http://calgary.en.craigslist.ca/cto/2884062312.html>

Taking the English language to a new level....Lol

[Hallowed_point]

http://alberta.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehi...AdIdZ360686341

Tempted..very tempted