Danger Mouses Funny Links Thread - LOL Inside

[Danger_Mouse]

http://www.uxbridgescooters.com/tosh/whatever.mp3

[Danger_Mouse]

http://69.28.156.67/a65/o1/portal/2481847_200.asf

what an a-hole

[Danger_Mouse]

The funniest japanese arcade game ever!

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http://www.syberpunk.com/cgi-bin/index.pl?page=boonga

[Danger_Mouse]

Come to my table if youre good looking

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http://www.newtruetalent.org/in_the_ni-te_wm_hi.htm

[Danger_Mouse]

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/sabo...t_sabotage.asp

[B17a]

Originally posted by 403Gemini
ive heard this before
it sounds rehearsed if you ask me

I've heard it before too, still brings a smile to my face!

[Dj_Stylz]

ahha owned!!

[Danger_Mouse]

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't FUCK with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal your soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

Part 2 : Different User Name a few hours l8r

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, well I like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the FUCK, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA:
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn, your fucked up.
eminemBNJA: Oh
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

[Danger_Mouse]

AOL IM ABUSE 3 ( Im really bored )

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate: fuck

[Danger_Mouse]

Aol Im Abuse 4

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.


--------------
This one isn't too funny - but blah I got a kick outta it!

[Danger_Mouse]

starguy58: can we have a deep discussion?
starguy58: i heard that's your specialty.
Duhir: sure, about what?
starguy58: i don't know, whatever pubes up.
Duhir: well... I'm a bit distracted, so if you think up a subject I'll
accomadate
starguy58: how about...life.
Duhir: what about life, that is most definitely a broad subject
starguy58: it's a nice thing to have.
Duhir: There are those that would disagree
starguy58: like who?
Duhir: nihilists
Duhir: really depressed people
starguy58: i think they just don't like BFing.
Duhir: oh yeah, there's a worthwhile activity to base life on
starguy58: yeah i think it's gross too. what do you prefer?
Duhir: In what sense?
starguy58: the BFing sense.
Duhir: I, personally, am waiting until I am married
starguy58: what for?
Duhir: Sex is the most special thing you can give someone. You
give so much of yourself... and, God wants me to wait
starguy58: oh, did he call you?
Duhir: Yes
starguy58: on the phone?
Duhir: nope
starguy58: how then?
Duhir: are you asking how I came to know God?
starguy58: yeah, did you meet him at camp or something?
starguy58: i knew this guy god once, we went to camp
bonerphone.
starguy58: we did it up the butt.
starguy58: I BF'ED GOD.
Duhir: I witnessed God's power in people's lives, I read about
Him. And one night, his Spirit spoke to my heart and I accepted
God's love. Since my decision to live in His ways, life has had
meaning, direction, joy, peace.
starguy58: so mean some stranger came into your bedroom and
night and played with your nuts right?
Duhir: no
starguy58: did you teleconference with him?
starguy58: WAIT. so what happens when you just wanna slam
some rotten coochie? you DON'T?!
Duhir: so?
starguy58: oh, you just go home and masturbate until your penis
breaks in half. you're one of THOSE.
Duhir: yeah, that's exactly what I do... you are a twisted individual
starguy58: hey man, you're the one using motor oil to lube up your
dick while you watch B horror movies for the boobies. at least I'M
having healthy, safe, biodegradable gay sex.
Duhir: (was being sarcastic about the jerking off thing) Let me ask
you something... does that give value to your life?
starguy58: no, i get value from material possessions. do glass
shards in your BH (thus causing pain) give YOUR life meaning?
Duhir: BH?
starguy58: the bad place...?
Duhir: oh... sorry... gotcha... why would I have glass shards there?
starguy58: it's from the bottle that the homeless man you
propositioned on the street broke off in your ass. you like 'em
unshowered, right, boner-boy?
Duhir: you are on unhappy person aren't you?
starguy58: i don't think i'm on an unhappy person!
starguy58: the guy i'm on right now is plenty content!
starguy58: right jimbo?
starguy58: "right starguy58!"
Duhir: what value is some random BF gonna have to you 20 years
down the road?
starguy58: who cares? i got my stiffy, i got this butthole, and i'm
gonna put the two together and get me some AIDS!
Duhir: why?
starguy58: cuz i like the smell...!
Duhir: so when you are dying, depressed and lonely... you'll be
happy because you think it was worth it?
starguy58: i'm not gonna be depressed and lonely! i'm gonna have
jimbo's BH bleeding all over me, right on my deathbed!
Duhir: why would Jimbo wanna hang out with you? you're dying of
AIDS? Besides, you weren't that good anyway
starguy58: how would you know, fag?
starguy58: you NEED dis dick.
starguy58: just like you wanna hump your mom. nice move,
swollen feet.
Duhir: that's the last thing I need, or want
starguy58: yeah, so i got this AIDS thing. it's not cool at all
Duhir: do you really have AIDS?
starguy58: you bet.
Duhir: does that make you happy?
starguy58: my AIDS really flames up at bedtime.
starguy58: no, AIDS = bad.
Duhir: and how did you get it?
starguy58: from BFing Jimbo. God, put two and two together,
pythagoras.
Duhir: see, look where it got you. That's just my point
starguy58: you're gonna die too, limp larry.
Duhir: And things will only get better after I do
starguy58: oh jesus you make me sick.
Duhir: why?
starguy58: because you're blatantly stupid and have a whole belief
system based on something you can't prove OR see.
Duhir: God cannot be proved by scientific method. God is beyond
the scientific method. But I see reflections of God. He lives in me
and my fellow Christians.
starguy58: but how do you know he exists?
Duhir: I've seen some stuff that can't be explained any other way. I
know because of the change within myself after deciding to follow
Him. He speaks to me.. no, not in a big booming voice from the
sky, but in quiet moments. He gives my instruction and
encouragement.
starguy58: and you are...high on LSD at those moments, right?
look dude, you can't tell me that you hear voices, because that
would mean some sound waves are hitting your ears. and you just
said god was out of the physical realm.
starguy58: dickhead
Duhir: I do not hear with my ears.... but I didn't ever say that God
is outside the physical realm
Duhir: I said He is beyond scientific method
starguy58: if he's IN the physical realm then, he's subject to
scientific proof. which you just said he wasn't. listen ****er, you
better go with "outside the physical realm"
Duhir: God transcends the physical realm... He created the realm,
so He isn't subject to it.
starguy58: like, if i bake a cake, i'm not subject to the laws of
physics that govern it, hmm...
starguy58: i wish i had something that i couldn't see or prove that
drove my life, whew!
Duhir: "For the word of God is foolishness to a dying nation" "I
will destroy man's wisdom in my own wisdom"
starguy58: and who said that? the homeless guy you raped?
Duhir: I don't recall ever raping anyone.... so.... I'm going to have
to go with God said it
starguy58: so god said that he existed. that's a nice circle you've
got there.
Duhir: There is proof of the Bible
Duhir: proof that it is true
starguy58: where is this proof?
Duhir: Noah's ark still exists today. There are artifacts that
correspong with Biblical records. There is no denying by scolars
that Jesus actually lived
starguy58: where is the ark? i bet it'd make a great racquetball
court.
Duhir: it is in Turkey... the Turkish government will no longer allow
parties to search the mountains in which people have seen it
starguy58: oh is that right, and you're privy to this info. there really
is a conspiracy, mulder.
Duhir: my ultimate proof lies in the peace I feel in my own life.
When I stray from God, that peace leaves me, my joy is gone,
everything sucks again. But He is gracious and always takes me
back and restores me.
starguy58: you're stupid. hump a spike, nuge.

[Danger_Mouse]

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.