A few tips for driving in Alberta.
I wonder why our insurance rates are so
high?? Just remember 4 out of 5 Albertans learned to drive in a different
province.
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Alberta driver never
uses them.
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and
the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have
of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and
it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,
especially someone from Calgary. With no-fault insurance the other guy
doesn't have anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to
prepare people entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are
apparently not enforceable in Alberta during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move
over doesn't mean that a Alberta driver flashing his high beams behind you
doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Alberta is the home of high-speed slalom
driving like Highway 16, thanks to the Highways Department, which puts
pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.
12. It is traditional in Alberta to honk your horn at cars that don't move
the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Alberta driver is to get there first by
whatever means necessary.
14. In Alberta, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute.
This gesture should always be returned.
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