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Thread: Show me your bidets

  1. #1
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    Default Show me your bidets

    Time to school me on bidets. I want one. I need one. And before Killramos poops on another thread, I am well aware that professional toilets don't have them. I don't care.

    Biobidet, Toto, Kohler, Brondell. What is the diff? Where can I get one that play sweet poop lullabys? How much should I budget? What is the breakeven time after counting for toilet paper savings?

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    https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00...?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    Had this for 4 years now. No complaints.
    Easy to install. Works as advertised.

    Kind of a PITA to clean though. I would get one that self cleans next time.
    I don't need warm water nor a front sprayer.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Time to school me on bidets. I want one. I need one. And before Killramos poops on another thread, I am well aware that professional toilets don't have them. I don't care.

    Biobidet, Toto, Kohler, Brondell. What is the diff? Where can I get one that play sweet poop lullabys? How much should I budget? What is the breakeven time after counting for toilet paper savings?
    Do they make them for Men?
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

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    fact.

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    I bought a biobidet 6800 from Costco 3 years ago for around $300.
    Works as advertised and I’ve had no issues with it at all. It comes with a heated seat, heated water and air dryer. Has different functions for women and kids too. Oscillating wand cleans the rear end great after taco Tuesdays.

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    Payback period based on TP savings? That's not actually a consideration, is it?

    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
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    Do they come in Mens?
    ^Fixed.

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    Har har. See who is laffing when you need your schweaty balls rinsed after a trip to Gaucho. 100% serious thread. No derailments please

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    Been using this for 3 years and still very happy.
    https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B01...?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    Quote Originally Posted by ThePenIsMightier View Post
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    Payback period based on TP savings? That's not actually a consideration, is it?

    ^Fixed.
    It's not just TP saving, but also nice to have a warm toilet seat on a cold winter.
    Now if you have females living with you, you can say goodbye to TP savings.

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    We have a tushy bidet that just bolts on to the toilet and uses the cold water intake from the tank to spray. No hot water because we arent next to the hot faucet. I actually just bought the Tushy ottoman to go with it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redblack View Post
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    I bought a biobidet 6800 from Costco 3 years ago for around $300.
    Same here, heated seat, heated water, no hot water connection required. Has a little fan with a filter, and drying function, but neither works too well. Toto is prob the top of the line tho, costco sells one in store.

  10. #10
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    @Toilet_X is the resident expert on this subject, why would you trust anyone else?

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    Had a bidet in my suite in Vegas last year. Tried it out, yup, asshole is clean as hell, but that squirting hurt. Razor sharp stream right on the asshole just didn't feel right. My gf told me I'm doing it wrong, probably needs more pressure. Mother of my children, I do not question her. Asshole hurt even more next day after my morning shit.

    Walk around Vegas for the day, and yea, asshole hurts after a few mins of walking, and it's Vegas, lots of walking. By the end of the morning, decided to head back to hotel to check on my poor asshole only to discover my underwear fucking soaked in blood from my asshole. Grey underwear is destroyed. My asshole hurts every wipe. Worst Vegas trip ever.

    So yea, no more bidets for me. Anyone tell me wtf I did wrong? haha
    Originally posted by SEANBANERJEE
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    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    My asshole hurts every wipe. Worst Vegas trip ever.
    You know someone's gonna make this a sig.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jwslam View Post
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    https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00...?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    Had this for 4 years now. No complaints.
    Easy to install. Works as advertised.

    Kind of a PITA to clean though. I would get one that self cleans next time.
    I don't need warm water nor a front sprayer.
    Have this one as well. Love it. Easy bolt on install to existing toilet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    Had a bidet in my suite in Vegas last year. Tried it out, yup, asshole is clean as hell, but that squirting hurt. Razor sharp stream right on the asshole just didn't feel right. My gf told me I'm doing it wrong, probably needs more pressure. Mother of my children, I do not question her. Asshole hurt even more next day after my morning shit.

    Walk around Vegas for the day, and yea, asshole hurts after a few mins of walking, and it's Vegas, lots of walking. By the end of the morning, decided to head back to hotel to check on my poor asshole only to discover my underwear fucking soaked in blood from my asshole. Grey underwear is destroyed. My asshole hurts every wipe. Worst Vegas trip ever.

    So yea, no more bidets for me. Anyone tell me wtf I did wrong? haha
    Actual footage:
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    Do any of you have a bum gun..?
    I used them in SE Asia. Its a hose next to the bog.
    It was a life changing experience. I seriously might order one...

  16. #16
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    https://www.amazon.ca/ANYOYO-Shattaf...5&s=hi&sr=1-10

    We have these. Easy as pie. Clean tush is the way to go.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Had a bidet in my suite in Vegas last year. Tried it out, yup, asshole is clean as hell, but that squirting hurt. Razor sharp stream right on the asshole just didn't feel right. My gf told me I'm doing it wrong, probably needs more pressure. Mother of my children, I do not question her. Asshole hurt even more next day after my morning shit.

    Walk around Vegas for the day, and yea, asshole hurts after a few mins of walking, and it's Vegas, lots of walking. By the end of the morning, decided to head back to hotel to check on my poor asshole only to discover my underwear fucking soaked in blood from my asshole. Grey underwear is destroyed. My asshole hurts every wipe. Worst Vegas trip ever.

    So yea, no more bidets for me. Anyone tell me wtf I did wrong? haha
    You don't insert the nozzle before turning it on.
    See Crank. See Crank Walk. Walk Crank Walk.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by FraserB View Post
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    You don't insert the nozzle before turning it on.
    Unless it's a 2-in-1 enema/bidet.
    It's Vegas so you never know.

  19. #19
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    I just time my shits for before my morning shower... Clean ass every time!
    Bob Blakeborough

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by tirebob View Post
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    I just time my shits for before my morning shower... Clean ass every time!
    Doesn't work for me. I am at least a three-a-day shittr.

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